❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[AlwaysFara]

I like pictures. A lot. Getting and giving.
I don’t trust people who don’t send me face pic, friend or otherwise.

 

[cookiecat]

I like pictures. A lot. Getting and giving.
I don’t trust people who don’t send me face pic, friend or otherwise.

For me, depends on the context. In that chat place, I'm a random drive by chatter. Not interested in what someone looks like. I'm usually in pj's, not really picture ready and I don't want to contort and crop my pictures to look good.

If it's an ongoing chat, I'm ok with pictures. But don't find it necessary. I've chatted with someone now for a couple years, on and off. I've only seen his cock twice. Never seen his face. He's never asked me for a picture. But his words. Holy cow. His words.

 

[cookiecat]

So this sort of reminded me of me taking direction online

https://i.imgur.com/Rw1vFAG.jpg

 

[Bramblethorn]

#38 (submitted with additions)

Sexting/Cybering

Let's talk about BDSM via cyber/sexting? Is there a word for this action that you prefer? Sexually explicit conversations come with the Lit territory - so let's discuss the nitty gritty.
*Do you enjoy textual relations? Why or why not?
*Do you like role play scenarios or just informal descriptions?
*How would you describe your style? Does it change depending on your partner? Are you a lengthy and languorous writer, fast and furious? Are you flexible to styles and topics?
*Does poor spelling or grammar hinder your enjoyment?
*Do you self stimulate while texting?
*Can the BDSM attitude be conveyed with just words?

I haven't done this for a while, since my last LDR broke up a few years ago, but used to play this way a lot and would happily do so again.

Scenarios and informal: both good. Sometimes it started out in non-sexual online roleplaying games.

Style: probably "lengthy and languorous". In the earlier days it was sometimes by email, and we'd play over weeks or months... then IRC and Skype, still hours at a time.

Spelling and grammar: I used to be very fussy about this, but one of my dear friends started writing about the issues he experiences with dyslexia. People write him off as stupid because of his spelling and I don't want to be That Asshole, so these days I look harder for the content. Plus I found people who'll pay me to nitpick their English, so I have less reason to give it away for free.

Last two questions: yes and yes.

 

[Cakecups]

So this sort of reminded me of me taking direction online

https://i.imgur.com/Rw1vFAG.jpg

Yessss!

 

[cascadiabound]

#38 (submitted with additions)

Sexting/Cybering

Let's talk about BDSM via cyber/sexting? Is there a word for this action that you prefer? Sexually explicit conversations come with the Lit territory - so let's discuss the nitty gritty.
*Do you enjoy textual relations? Why or why not?

i do. i am a reader. and i have a vivid imagination. i like the interaction and that it has the ability to convey so much.

*Do you like role play scenarios or just informal descriptions?

not exactly... however... see http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1360528 + while this started out as a lark - can i keep up with him? can he keep up with me and was never a serious cyber thing, it is hard to claim that the main characters are not us.

*How would you describe your style? Does it change depending on your partner? Are you a lengthy and languorous writer, fast and furious? Are you flexible to styles and topics?

I tend to write a lot. And if anyone did me like Tan's cyber gal I would drop them instantly. While sometimes a few syllables are all that is needed, I see this stuff as a partnership. each person has to hold up their end for it to work.

*Does poor spelling or grammar hinder your enjoyment?

i appreciate good grammar and spelling, however, it feels unfair to hold someone to a high english standard when both parties are getting increasingly hot and bothered. Sometimes careful correcting errors can interfere with the flow. As long as i can follow along, i am pretty forgiving.

*Do you self stimulate while texting?

generally no. but it often feels like a hard edge.

*Can the BDSM attitude be conveyed with just words?

yes. absolutely.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Yessss!

*pounce*

 

[Threadbare42]

#38 (submitted with additions)

Sexting/Cybering

Let's talk about BDSM via cyber/sexting? Is there a word for this action that you prefer? Sexually explicit conversations come with the Lit territory - so let's discuss the nitty gritty.
*Do you enjoy textual relations? Why or why not?
*Do you like role play scenarios or just informal descriptions?
*How would you describe your style? Does it change depending on your partner? Are you a lengthy and languorous writer, fast and furious? Are you flexible to styles and topics?
*Does poor spelling or grammar hinder your enjoyment?
*Do you self stimulate while texting?
*Can the BDSM attitude be conveyed with just words?

As I've now done a few online RPs I suppose I can answer this. I enjoy these more than I thought I would actually. I've written bits of erotica before but struggled with motivation. Having someone else there I find makes it more exciting because there is the unknown element of how the sub in my case is going to react (communication both ways has been good so I've not had any bad surprises so far).

I love role-fantasy scenarios, in fact I'd say it's one of my kinks, having someone play a princess or a prisoner in a dungeon and so on, though I'm fine with more "informal" spontaneous playing as well.

Personally I'm a writer and I find detail adds a lot to the fun, but I tend to adapt my style depending on who my partner is and their style of RP. I do expect at least a basic level of grammar and ideally someone who can be a bit creative with their replies and not just go with "I whimper, I moan..." etc. every time

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#38 (submitted with additions)

Sexting/Cybering

Let's talk about BDSM via cyber/sexting? Is there a word for this action that you prefer? Sexually explicit conversations come with the Lit territory - so let's discuss the nitty gritty.
*Do you enjoy textual relations? Why or why not?
*Do you like role play scenarios or just informal descriptions?
*How would you describe your style? Does it change depending on your partner? Are you a lengthy and languorous writer, fast and furious? Are you flexible to styles and topics?
*Does poor spelling or grammar hinder your enjoyment?
*Do you self stimulate while texting?
*Can the BDSM attitude be conveyed with just words?

I don't love the term cybering so for lack of a better term, let's talk sexting.

I do enjoy sexting but as an aural person audio will always be best. But there are certainly things I can type that are much harder for me to say out loud. I also think (because writing is good for this) you can discuss more of what's going on in your mind as a physical act is happening which I find deeply sexy.

Role play can be totally fun with the right partner. I don't see it as being someone else but magnifying one specific facet of your interests. It also makes the moments when you're yourself extremely significant. When you find the perfect partner your two styles together create something really special, places that alone neither of you could have gone. I can still probably remember the sexiest 5 chats.

My style... hmm... I tend to kind of match what the other person is giving me. I do prefer quality over quantity. I'd rather three hot sentences that get to the point than four paragraphs that don't say much at all. I also love the little details you notice in the moment - the sounds of things, the secondary tactile feelings, etc - that stuff is hot to me. So, I'm pretty flexible but long & lengthy and short & fast can be hot.

A lot of poor spelling and incomprehensible sentences can be a hindrance but I know there are moments where I can't type anything coherent. Also, auto correct is a motherfucker here.

I don't always self-stimulate but if I can I totally will but usually I store it up for later. I LOVE knowing that the other person is though. And the BDSM attitude can totally be conveyed, especially the thought process behind the actions.

I'm not sure any of this made sense! It's early.

 

[Eliphaz]

I like it but just like "real life" relationships sometimes it ends up just not really working and feels more like a chore than fun, and you have to be ok with breaking it off.

I much prefer undirected chat to role playing. I don't like when it's just a lead-in to or substitute for voice/video/in-person either.

On a less negative note, I love when it can be exploratory and experimental, a way to learn other people's likes and wants, maybe pick up new interests I didn't know I had, and I like sharing mental/emotional details more than physical i guess - I mean I don't need vivid descriptions of anatomy, but knowing how something I said makes someone feel is a lot more interesting.

When you get to know someone well enough that you don't need to worry about shocking each other it's great to be able to share really aggressively dirty stuff and know it will be welcomed.

More than anything, I like when the person i'm talking to lets on how aroused they are, or what they're inspired to do to themselves, etc, and knowing I can freely share the same thing too.

EDIT: oh yeah. Typos, randomly omitted words, keyboard bashes, brief absences are all fine in the heat of the moment, but text-speak, terrible grammar/spelling, or halfassed responses pretty much extinguish the mood.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#39 (suggested)

Have there been aspects of kink which you’d always wanted to try, but which turned out not to be what you’d hoped?

Or contrariwise: have there been things you never thought you’d enjoy which you found amazing when you eventually tried them?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

#39 (suggested)

Or contrariwise: have there been things you never thought you’d enjoy which you found amazing when you eventually tried them?

Sure. Lots.

I've probably learned to like at least one new thing with each partner. The right person makes a world of difference.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#39 (suggested)

Have there been aspects of kink which you’d always wanted to try, but which turned out not to be what you’d hoped?

Or contrariwise: have there been things you never thought you’d enjoy which you found amazing when you eventually tried them?

I'm not sure this is a good answer to this question but - not necessarily something I wanted to try but something that has been a bit ruined by bad experiences - ego stroking as part of humiliation play (or really just because I enjoy it) has been a bit ruined because there have been partners who either just became so arrogantly, narcissistic that it stopped being fun OR they became addicted to the constant need for an ego boost that I stopped being a person and started just becoming a compliment machine. I think I'm slowly learning quiet confidence is a much better way to go for me than someone who wants to tell me how awesome they are. If you're awesome, I promise I'll notice.

Something, I never really thought I'd like... hmm... this is hard for me because I don't really draw a lot of hard and fast lines. I would say I have four hard limits and no partner that has ever really tried to push those (mostly because we share those limits). I have quiet a few softer limits that seemed right with one person that don't fit with another. And that's okay. I would include pet play, breeding, pee stuff and humiliation play on this list. And though it doesn't really fit into the kink think, I would also add camming to this list - something I never thought I'd enjoy (and don't really except for him) but one person has really changed my view on that.

 

[ultramarineblue]

#39 (suggested)

Have there been aspects of kink which you’d always wanted to try, but which turned out not to be what you’d hoped?

Or contrariwise: have there been things you never thought you’d enjoy which you found amazing when you eventually tried them?

Knife play was something I never thought I would want to try but it was incredible. I'd like to try more along those lines. It was just superficial scratches but they felt wonderful.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Knife play was something I never thought I would want to try but it was incredible. I'd like to try more along those lines. It was just superficial scratches but they felt wonderful.

This. Me, too.
Fantasied, yes, but to have it in the flesh?
Gahhh!!!

 

[midwestyankee]

#39 (suggested)

Have there been aspects of kink which you’d always wanted to try, but which turned out not to be what you’d hoped?

Or contrariwise: have there been things you never thought you’d enjoy which you found amazing when you eventually tried them?

No to the first. As to the second, piss play turned out to be infinitely more pleasurable than I expected.

 

[ultramarineblue]

This. Me, too.
Fantasied, yes, but to have it in the flesh?
Gahhh!!!

I didn't even fantasize about it but one time a friend used something that scraped a little like a knife and he said that it was like that and that was pretty much it. I had to try it. Plus he said he would make me love it which was even more enticing. His voice is beyond incredible.

 

[AlwaysFara]

No to the first. As to the second, piss play turned out to be infinitely more pleasurable than I expected.

This, too, but more in a watching, ordering me when to let go and when to hold type of way.

 

[cookiecat]

No to the first. As to the second, piss play turned out to be infinitely more pleasurable than I expected.

Ditto on watersports. First time anyone peed on me, I was hysterically grossed out. Now, it's something I find very intimate and super hot.

 

[base10]

Ditto on watersports. First time anyone peed on me, I was hysterically grossed out. Now, it's something I find very intimate and super hot.

Glad I'm not the only one. It's so taboo, so dirty, and so fucking hot.

 

[elli1point1]

#39 (suggested)

Have there been aspects of kink which you’d always wanted to try, but which turned out not to be what you’d hoped?

Not sure this even counts as an 'aspect of kink', but vibrators.

 

[AnnieLit]

#38 (submitted with additions)

Sexting/Cybering

Let's talk about BDSM via cyber/sexting? Is there a word for this action that you prefer? Sexually explicit conversations come with the Lit territory - so let's discuss the nitty gritty.

1. Do you enjoy textual relations? Why or why not?
2. Do you like role play scenarios or just informal descriptions?
3. How would you describe your style? Does it change depending on your partner? Are you a lengthy and languorous writer, fast and furious? Are you flexible to styles and topics?
4. Does poor spelling or grammar hinder your enjoyment?
5. Do you self stimulate while texting?
6. Can the BDSM attitude be conveyed with just words?

(online)

1. Yes. Because it is much easier for me speak with written words rather then spoken out loud.
   
2. Both. Depends on the partner. If we click, then I don;t really need to RP, if not or if it is a "one night stand" in chats, then RPing is easier.
   
3. It does change. With some people it is just a sentence or two, with some we each write couple pages at a time.
   
4. Don't care much about either spelling, or grammar, as long as I can understand the writing. But I do care about imagination and descriptions. They just have to be there.
   
5. sometimes....
   
6. Of course it can!!

 

[AnnieLit]

Looking at this from the online perspective. I have had / have a couple of online relationships here. Mostly I discuss life. Every once in a while I encounter someone who wants an online sexual relationship. Essentially that means exchanging PMs. Typically we agree on boundaries, language and that sort of thing first. More than once I have started down that road to find that the exchanges go like this:

ME: write 3-400 words of pure lust

Her: Oh yeah Baby.

Me: writes another 400 or so words, even more explicit.

Her: Yeah, that's the stuff.

Me: writes 600 words of pure heat. I pull out all the stops and hit the agreed limits. I'm no Stephen King, but he can't write sex anyway.

Her: Cool

Me: Doesn't write for two days

Her: Where did you go?

With a couple of notable exceptions D) I get more out of seemingly mundane conversations with Litsters than "sex talk". There's a lot of fulfillment there. As for the exceptions: you rock. You understand "play", and that is very satisfying.

SO, FWIW, some free advice: If you decide to cyber with someone, make sure you know that it is a two-way street and be ready to participate

Oh, my! You patience is commendable. I drop this kind of players after the first "Oh yeah Baby". Either you give me readable text with complete sentences, or we are done. To write on my own I don't need a partner.

 

[AnnieLit]

#39 (suggested)

Have there been aspects of kink which you’d always wanted to try, but which turned out not to be what you’d hoped?

Or contrariwise: have there been things you never thought you’d enjoy which you found amazing when you eventually tried them?

1. Yes. Wartenberg wheel with multiple wheels on one handle. Turned out to be rather useless thing.

2. Yes... Most of BDSM falls in this category for me. Or at least those parts that I did try. Maybe not all of it on the first try, but still.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

#38 (submitted with additions)

Sexting/Cybering

Let's talk about BDSM via cyber/sexting? Is there a word for this action that you prefer? Sexually explicit conversations come with the Lit territory - so let's discuss the nitty gritty.
*Do you enjoy textual relations? Why or why not?
*Do you like role play scenarios or just informal descriptions?
*How would you describe your style? Does it change depending on your partner? Are you a lengthy and languorous writer, fast and furious? Are you flexible to styles and topics?
*Does poor spelling or grammar hinder your enjoyment?
*Do you self stimulate while texting?
*Can the BDSM attitude be conveyed with just words?

I feel like this topic would have benefitted from some actual on-the-spot examples.

Just sayin'.