How do you satisfy your needs in a sexless relationship?

[Yarglenurp]

Yes it is, Still one kid at home but making preparations for the not too distant future

Good luck! Happiness is not journey, not a destination.

 

[conoflex]

Been playing a game with mother in law ,she leaves me her Hz ed panties ,I cum in them and she wears them for another few hours ,it's a relief plus I ha e fucked 1 or 2 older ladies who were very grateful for the relief of tension I gave them
I love my wife but have sexual needs ,
The menopause is a right count
1 life and if I want sex I will have sex with whomever I please

 

[smoothg103rd]

Get out of the relationship or just cheat. Women selling pussy for $25 now in days there is no reason anybody should have to be desert dick. Tell them to please u or u gone get someone else to do it

 

[trinething1ns]

Yeah, this is basically divorce territory in either case. If your spouse is basically completely asexual and you’re not OK with that, I’d say start getting some divorce prep just in case.

Yes. I had been working on that. Sometimes it’s not as easy as “just divorce”. Something I have to figure out. In the meantime, it’s hard.

 

[Robbo694u]

Yes it is, Still one kid at home but making preparations for the not too distant future

You gotta do what you gotta do to fulfil your life's needs. Making preparations sounds like you've thought lots about it and are going about things methodically rather than an impulsive decision which tends to lead to regrets. I wish you a vright and sexy future

 

[Stromer]

No marriage should be sexless. Discounting the cases of age and health, of course. But if the wife (I’m just generalizing here) loses her sex drive and basically renders the marriage sexless for her husband, she should give her blessing to open up the marriage so the husband can indulge with another woman.

Yep, MrsStromer is 7 years older then I am. Age and medical issues have turned our relationship into a sexless relationship but I am not upset with what mother nature has done to her body. Any type of sexual contact is now painful for her now. She used to be able to have nipplegasms, but I can't touch her nipples now, let alone any pussy play.
We had a great sex life until a few years ago, menapause didn't slow her down a bit. Any time, any where and very open to try new things, swinging, DP and loved to be spit roasted. Now its an occasional blowjob, but I feel guilty and selfish since I can't give her the same pleasure, so lot's of Rosy Palmer and her five best friends for me.

My ex, that's a different story. We had a great sex life until we got married. After I put a ring on it, our sex life was hit or miss. She would go through periods of loving it and times of the "I have a headache". When we hit the point that every conversation we had turned into a fight, our sex life went through the roof. She started exploring some of the things I had been trying to explore for years with no luck.
At the point we both knew our marriage was over and we were both waiting to see who was going to be the first to walk out, she was getting back into her church. I honestly think she decided to let her freak flag fly since we were married and once it was over her religious belief's would not let her have a sex life until she got married again.
She did confirm my thoughts a few years after our divorce. We met up just to catch up and she admitted that was what she was thinking about the last couple months we were together. Enjoy it while she could without any guilt.
She had been celibate for over three years at that point. Me, I was a total guy slut and could not tell you how many woman I had been with in that time period. Didn't tell her that. Just said I had few girlfriends and left it at that. Last time I saw or talked to her.

 

[Britva415]

Yeah, this is basically divorce territory in either case. If your spouse is basically completely asexual and you’re not OK with that, I’d say start getting some divorce prep just in case.

What if the spouse does give their blessing to extramarital sex?

 

[LMWM321]

I can't quite understand how when one person in a marriage is no longer able to engage in sex, for whatever reason, they don't tell their spouse "I love you and your happiness matters to me! You have my blessing to have sex with someone else..." After all, Sex keeps people feeling young, thinking young and maybe even helps them live longer. Shouldn't one partner want that for the other even if they cannot have it for themselves? To my thinking, such an understanding should be discussed before people agree to marry.

If an illness left you bound to a wheelchair, would you tell your partner, "Sorry honey, but you need to be in a wheelchair too! ..If I can't walk, then you shouldn't be able to!" Of course you wouldn't - no one would ask that of a loved one. So how is sex different?

On the other hand, even with a spouse's encouragement, it would not be so easy for most people who have been monogamous for 30+ yrs to just go out and find a "fuck buddy." Concerns of STD's, privacy, being battered by a sociopath or the worry of emotional attachments forming would loom large and possibly prevent any earnest attempt to find a FWB.

So what's the solution? Well, why not a paid sex worker? In my opinion, sex work needs to be legalized, legitimized and normalized. ..And those who do it - with proper credentialing, licensing - should be perceived no differently than any other kind of therapist.

Why is it okay for an athletic 6'5" 260lb man to monetize his talent for brutality in professional contact sports but NOT okay for a person to monetize their gift for providing sensual pleasure to a sexually lonely and frustrated person? Seems fucking ridiculous to me.

Is paying for sex the perfect solution for a sexless marriage? No, of course not. People prefer sex where the desire is reciprocal - which it wouldn't be w/ a paid partner. But is it better than going without sex altogether? You bet. IMHO, anyway.

 

[aego99x]

I can't quite understand how when one person is no longer able to engage in sex (for whatever reason) they don't immediately tell the other "I love you and your happiness matters to me! ..Go have sex off w/ someone else now that I'm unable to..." Sex keeps people feeling young, thinking young and maybe even helps them live longer. Shouldn't one partner want that for the other even if they cannot!? To my thinking, such an understanding should be discussed before people agree to marriage.

If an illness left you wheelchair bound, would you tell your partner, "Sorry honey, but you need to confine yourself to a wheelchair too! ..If I can't walk, then you shouldn't be able to!" No one would expect a loved one to make such a sacrifice. How is sex different?

On the other hand, even with a spouse's blessing/encouragement, it would not be very easy for a shy person whose been monogamous for 30 yrs to just go out and find a "fuck buddy." Concerns of STD's, privacy, being battered by a sociopath or the worries the other won't keep it NSA (no strings attached) would loom large and possibly preclude any earnest attempt to find an FWB.

So what's the obvious solution? A paid sex worker. Sex work needs to legalized, legitimized and normalized. ..It should be perceived no differently than any other kind of therapist.

I simply can't understand why it's fine for a lightening-quick 6'5" 260lb man to monetize his talent for inflicting injury in boxing, MMA, NFL-Football, etc.. but NOT okay for a man/ woman to monetize their gift for providing sexual pleasure to a lonely person. Fucking ridiculous.

Is it a perfect solution? No, of course not. ..People prefer sex where the desire is totally reciprocal. ..And it wouldn't be w/ a paid partner. ..But is it better than going without sex altogether? You bet. (IMHO, anyway).

Well said...

 

[Qky75]

Sometimes I step out on righty with lefty?

 

[Yarglenurp]

What if the spouse does give their blessing to extramarital sex?

Well, if it’s not an issue and everyone is happy, they won’t post on here because it’s no longer a sexless marriage… the sex just happens to involve someone else.

 

[Britva415]

it’s no longer a sexless marriage

Huh.

I won't try to convince you otherwise, it's just words, but I personally don't consider it a "not sexless" marriage.

But we're on the same page regarding whether it's worth divorcing over right now.

 

[Yarglenurp]

Huh.

I won't try to convince you otherwise, it's just words, but I personally don't consider it a "not sexless" marriage.

But we're on the same page regarding whether it's worth divorcing over right now.

Ok, hear me out. If a guy A is in a marriage with woman A but isn’t directly fucking woman A, but then guy A fucks woman B, and woman B is also having an ongoing sexual relationship with guy B, and guy B then has an affair with woman A… is it still a sexless marriage between guy A and woman A?

Maybe you could say that, by the transitive property, guy A is having sex with woman A right?

 

[Stromer]

I can't quite understand how when one person is no longer able to engage in sex, for whatever reason, they don't immediately tell the other "I love you and your happiness matters to me! You have my blessing to have sex with someone else now that I'm unable to..." Sex keeps people feeling young, thinking young and maybe even helps them live longer. Shouldn't one partner want that for the other even if they cannot engage in it themselves? To my thinking, such an understanding should be discussed before people agree to marry.

If an illness left you wheelchair bound, would you tell your partner, "Sorry honey, but you need to confine yourself to a wheelchair too! ..If I can't walk, then you shouldn't be able to!" Of course you wouldn't - no one would ask that of a loved one. How is sex different?

On the other hand, even with a spouse's encouragement, it would not be so easy for a shy person who has been monogamous for 30+ yrs to just go out and find a "fuck buddy." Concerns of STD's, privacy, being battered by a sociopath or the worry of emotional attachments forming would loom large and possibly preclude any earnest attempt to find an FWB.

So what's the solution? Well, why not a paid sex worker? Sex work needs to be legalized, legitimized and normalized. ..It should be perceived no differently than any other kind of therapist.

I simply can't understand why it's okay for an athletic 6'5" 260lb man to monetize his talent for brutality in professional contact sports but NOT okay for a person to monetize their gift for providing sensual pleasure to a sexually frustrated person. Seems fucking ridiculous to me.

Is paying for sex the perfect solution? No, of course not. ..People prefer sex where the desire is reciprocal - which it wouldn't be w/ a paid partner. But is it better than going without sex altogether? You bet. IMHO, anyway.

Well said.
I made a choice with my first wife to not step out on her during our dry periods. Spent a lot of money in strip joints back then to give me some spank bank memories, but that was the choice I made then. Given my experience and maturity about casual sex now, not sure I made the right choice, but hind site is 20/20.

About the time MrsStromer started her health issues and sex became painful for her, my libido started to wain as well. I could use a sex worker or find a fwb, but I'm ok with my choice to just jerk off once a week or get the occasional blow job. But that is my choice and I recognize it may not work for others.

 

[Stromer]

Ok, hear me out. If a guy A is in a marriage with woman A but isn’t directly fucking woman A, but then guy A fucks woman B, and woman B is also having an ongoing sexual relationship with guy B, and guy B then has an affair with woman A… is it still a sexless marriage between guy A and woman A?

Maybe you could say that, by the transitive property, guy A is having sex with woman A right?

That's a stretch. If guy A and woman A are married and not having sex with each other as "married" partners its a sexless marriage. The fact that both of them are having sex with other people doesn't change the fact that the married couple are not having sex with each other.

 

[Britva415]

by the transitive property

is that this "girl math" I keep hearing about?

 

[Yarglenurp]

is that this "girl math" I keep hearing about?

it’s a special branch of topology and very important for multi-body problems.

 

[screwher]

Taking all health and medical out of the equation, I believe that if your spouse has simply lost interest in sex then you should be allowed to get your needs and desires elsewhere. Any notion of “Well, I don’t want to have sex anymore so therefore you can’t have sex anymore” is complete bullshit. And if the spouse in question doesn’t grant approval to find sex elsewhere, then I say cheat. Without guilt or remorse.

So that said, my wife and I are a hotwife couple. And I think a married man whose wife is withholding sex would be the perfect sex partner for my wife. He won’t be looking to cause trouble in our marriage as hell only be interested in my wife for the pussy. And he’ll want to keep everything on the down low. I’ll even cover for him. He can tell his wife he’s coming to our place to “have a beer and watch the game”. But really he’s up in our bedroom with Mrs. Screwher fucking her. It’s win all around.

 

[Doughboy48]

This is helpful info. I’m not in a sexless marriage but rather a boring sex marriage. She only wants it missionary which doesn’t work for me and her idea of a blowjob is about 30 seconds. I ask for more but she won’t change. I bent her over a while back to do her doggy and she got so pissed and said if I ever do that again she would chop my dick off. Currently I’m trying to decide what to do. We have an awesome relationship other than the sex. I’ve been chatting and talking one of our long time friends which is a woman that has been divorced close to ten years. I’m sure she is horny as hell also so maybe we can make a deal to be fwb, at least that is what I am aiming for.

 

[live4thebj]

Incest stories
Porn

And when I have a lot of alone time prostate play. The big O is more satisfying than sex.

 

[Sallylee430]

I was in one for years (his choice not mine) it seriously made me questions so many things about myself and did a number on me mentally. We are now seperated.

 

[Britva415]

This is helpful info. I’m not in a sexless marriage but rather a boring sex marriage. She only wants it missionary which doesn’t work for me and her idea of a blowjob is about 30 seconds. I ask for more but she won’t change. I bent her over a while back to do her doggy and she got so pissed and said if I ever do that again she would chop my dick off. Currently I’m trying to decide what to do. We have an awesome relationship other than the sex. I’ve been chatting and talking one of our long time friends which is a woman that has been divorced close to ten years. I’m sure she is horny as hell also so maybe we can make a deal to be fwb, at least that is what I am aiming for.

With your wife's consent? Or behind her back?

Not judging, just asking. My marriage is sexless and open.

 

[Deadfreak]

I love her
I need her

 

[Rockymtnman]

Leave? You get one life.

 

[Bdm20]

So far this website has helped.