Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You

[Sappho_CGN]

(on my skype-account ... I recently learned that skype is dating-line or at least used as a dating-line by male)

 

[LeBaronSamedi]

(on my skype-account ... I recently learned that skype is dating-line or at least used as a dating-line by male)

I'm sure it has a close to 100% success rate.

 

[Sappho_CGN]

I'm sure it has a close to 100% success rate.

The ratio is 100 %, yes .........................

 

[LeBaronSamedi]

The ratio is 100 %, yes .........................

OK, back on topic: Are you my boss? Because you're giving me a raise.

 

[HoosierPapi]

My wife gave me a free pass… seriously! Go over and ask her.

 

[Bry1313]

Hey there, a 5 tries harder than a 10

 

[morelikeasong]

Hey there, a 5 tries harder than a 10

Two fives together makes a perfect 10

 

[MiaBabe23]

I’m a biochemist, and you plus me would equal dynamite

 

[HoosierPapi]

Ten minutes is all I need.

 

[Trubbycat]

Don’t listen to them. The conviction was overturned.

 

[Tessinwales]

Do you like cats?

 

[lavendersilk]

I've got some markers and poster boards... wanna start a protest in my bedroom?

 

[LeBaronSamedi]

You won't believe how I got this electronic ankle tag!

 

[Sappho_CGN]

Recently received on a different site as the first mail from a complete stranger.:

"6’5” 210, very hung and heavy cummer"

 

[TheMrBurns]

Ten minutes is all I need.

30 seconds of sex and nine and a half minutes of uncontrollable sobbing?

 

[LeBaronSamedi]

Recently received on a different site as the first mail from a complete stranger.:

"6’5” 210, very hung and heavy cummer"

That would make a great new thread: Post the cringiest first PMs.

 

[LeBaronSamedi]

*wearing a t-shirt that says "Breast expansion by palm healing - success or your money back!"*

 

[TheMrBurns]

*Drops the soap*

Oopsies.

*Slowly bends down to pick it up never breaking eye contact*

Sir, this is a Wendy's...

 

[crazychemgirl]

I’ve been told I have a floppy dick vag…. Care to inspect it for me?

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I got your floppy dick right here baby

 

[Bry1313]

I got your floppy dick right here baby

Hi, how do you feel about Lunch, and by lunch I mean banging.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Hi

 

[Otis_Ravelli]

Is that a windsock in your pocket of are you just mildly annoyed to see me.

 

[Mrtenant]

*hold up my arm at that 90⁰ angle and flexes and waggles eyebrows up and down at you

 

[TheMrBurns]

I’ve been told I have a floppy dick vag…. Care to inspect it for me?

The Tale of Floppy Dick Vag by Beatrix Potter.

When Crazychemgirl grew up, so did her vag. It was described by anyone who saw it as a most impovident and cheerful vag, well suited to only the floppiest of dicks. And so, though few new the actual name of her vag, it was generally called the floppy dick vag.