🏆 Wanker of the Week Awards 🏆

[StillRain]

Excuuuuuse me?!

 

[InThe312]

I should no longer be nominated here because I did the thing I got nominated for not doing.

I don't even know what this means.

 

[Wriggle]

@Amanda330 nominated me for not coming through with a 5 second striptease and I did.
It was a nomination without basis.

 

[InThe312]

@Amanda330 nominated me for not coming through with a 5 second striptease and I did.
It was a nomination without basis.

At the time of the nomination, you were indeed a wanker. Objection overruled.

 

[StillRain]

I nominate @SalaciousMonkey22 for shit talking me in the show your face thread while not showing his

Wanker.

 

[StillRain]

@Amanda330 nominated me for not coming through with a 5 second striptease and I did.
It was a nomination without basis.

Well, look, we did not witness it so it clearly did not happen.

 

[ydahecnot]

Well, look, we did not witness it so it clearly did not happen.

And I am good with that

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I nominate @SalaciousMonkey22 for shit talking me in the show your face thread while not showing his

Wanker.

I apologize I was not trying to shit talk you. You are luminous and gorgeous.

 

[InThe312]

I apologize I was not trying to shit talk you. You are luminous and gorgeous.

Too late. You were already on the list anyway...just more wanker now.

 

[Amanda330]

@Amanda330 nominated me for not coming through with a 5 second striptease and I did.
It was a nomination without basis.

I had to wait alllll day for the video.

 

[Amanda330]

@Amanda330 nominated me for not coming through with a 5 second striptease and I did.
It was a nomination without basis.

There was absolutely basis. Nominated for being a lying wanker.

I apologize I was not trying to shit talk you. You are luminous and gorgeous.

Suck up. Nominated.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

There was absolutely basis. Nominated for being a lying wanker.


Suck up. Nominated.

Et tu brute? It’s the closest knife that cuts deepest.

 

[Wriggle]

Nomination for @Amanda330 for tricking me into sending her striptease videos.

 

[Amanda330]

Nomination for @Amanda330 for tricking me into sending her striptease videos.

Nominated for being manipulated so easily by a fabulous pair of tits.

 

[Amanda330]

Et tu brute? It’s the closest knife that cuts deepest.

I still love you. But sucking up is sucking up....

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I still love you. But sucking up is sucking up....

But I’m so good at it!?!? Would you ask me to deny my truest self?

 

[InThe312]

Wow @Wriggle, I don't think this turned out like you intended.

 

[Wriggle]

It actually did

 

[Amanda330]

But I’m so good at it!?!? Would you ask me to deny my truest self?

No baby. It just means you're a wanker of the highest order. And I love you for that.

 

[Amanda330]

It actually did

You're welcome.

 

[Wriggle]

2nd nomination for @Amanda330 for her predictability and thinking it was her fabulous boobs that manipulated me and not her fabulous machiavellian mind.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Nominated for being manipulated so easily by a fabulous pair of tits.

I mean…. Who amongst us…

 

[AmberLGreen]

Another perspective brought to you by Wanker Media Group. Ever wonder who were the worst wankers in history? Maybe the worst celebrity wanker. Superior American sports wanker? We have you covered.

It really takes a lot to be considered a historic wanker in any category. I think if we all tried a little harder, we could identify the historical wankers of lit. Y'all spend pages and pages debating the legends of Lit. Time to up your game.

But I digress. Who are the world's greatest wankers?

Music:
His contributions to the music industry are suspect as well, but Vince Neil is the biggest wanker in music history. Neil is well known for his drinking problems. Even though he was drunk when he killed a person and maimed two others with his car, Neil served about 3 milliseconds of jail time and continued to drink and drive. What a wanker.

Runner up:
Vince has a close colleague, Tommy Lee. There is no way that a man with THAT equipment was not an exceptional wanker. I know I would never leave home if I could self-fellate (just kidding @StillRain, this is just a puff piece).

Hollywood:
There are wankers (you'll see him mometarily) and then there are wankers. Harvey Weinstein is certainly the worst wanker in Hollywood. Even though he is getting a new trial on technicalities, other evidence of other wankerisms that apparently shouldn't have been allowed at trial, his rape and sexual assault elevate him to the worst wanker in Hollywood.

Runner up:
Paul Reubens made a career of entertaining children and being nearly as funny as this month's Panel of Judge. Sadly for Paul, he also found that getting caught wanking in a public theater is apparently still a problem. Paul, you're a wanker.

Sports:
I really only know American sports and a smattering of AFL, so take my bias as you will. We all remember Michael Vick. Dog fighting and cruelty to animals would run him out of the NFL. What a wanker!

Runner up:
Reese McGuire, at the time a catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, got picked up after complaints that he was half naked, wanking in his car in a mall parking lot. Learn from the mistakes of others my fellow Litsters. Wank carefully in public.

Politics:
Bruce Lehrmann was an Australian government staffer who lured and raped a woman, another staffer, in a minister's office. After temporarily escaping the charges in the criminal trial because of jury misconduct, Bruce decided to sue the victim for defamation after she went public with the rape. The judge not only ruled against Lehrmann with regards to the defamation accusations, but also determined that Lehrmann did indeed rape her. Bruce, you are an eternal wanker and frankly, a piece of shit.

Runner up:
Randy Kaufman, you were once a promising candidate in Maricopa County, Florida. Alas, masturbating near a school is still a very bad thing for you to do. Fucking wanker!

Literotica:
History is filled with wankers, but this thread has a recency bias. Let's go Litsters, who are the biggest wankers in Lit history? Here's your chance to get your nominations off your chests.

Runner up:
@JaySecrets. Nominated for letting everyone put his name in their mouths amongst so many other wankerisms.

WTF!!

The previous (and best) PoJ would solicit nominations by just saying “Get your fucking nominations in”, we didn’t need a fucking history lesson!

Nominated for liking the sound of his own voice

 

[Amanda330]

2nd nomination for @Amanda330 for her predictability and thinking it was her fabulous boobs that manipulated me and not her fabulous machiavellian mind.

Awe... Now you're just trying to suck up to me.

Nominated.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Nominating @OrdinaryPerson for this nonsense.

I'm too sweet and innocent to participate in dares or pranks