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🏆 Wanker of the Week Awards 🏆

Another perspective brought to you by Wanker Media Group. Ever wonder who were the worst wankers in history? Maybe the worst celebrity wanker. Superior American sports wanker? We have you covered.

It really takes a lot to be considered a historic wanker in any category. I think if we all tried a little harder, we could identify the historical wankers of lit. Y'all spend pages and pages debating the legends of Lit. Time to up your game.

But I digress. Who are the world's greatest wankers?

Music:
His contributions to the music industry are suspect as well, but Vince Neil is the biggest wanker in music history. Neil is well known for his drinking problems. Even though he was drunk when he killed a person and maimed two others with his car, Neil served about 3 milliseconds of jail time and continued to drink and drive. What a wanker.

Runner up:
Vince has a close colleague, Tommy Lee. There is no way that a man with THAT equipment was not an exceptional wanker. I know I would never leave home if I could self-fellate (just kidding @StillRain, this is just a puff piece).

Hollywood:
There are wankers (you'll see him mometarily) and then there are wankers. Harvey Weinstein is certainly the worst wanker in Hollywood. Even though he is getting a new trial on technicalities, other evidence of other wankerisms that apparently shouldn't have been allowed at trial, his rape and sexual assault elevate him to the worst wanker in Hollywood.

Runner up:
Paul Reubens made a career of entertaining children and being nearly as funny as this month's Panel of Judge. Sadly for Paul, he also found that getting caught wanking in a public theater is apparently still a problem. Paul, you're a wanker.

Sports:
I really only know American sports and a smattering of AFL, so take my bias as you will. We all remember Michael Vick. Dog fighting and cruelty to animals would run him out of the NFL. What a wanker!

Runner up:
Reese McGuire, at the time a catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, got picked up after complaints that he was half naked, wanking in his car in a mall parking lot. Learn from the mistakes of others my fellow Litsters. Wank carefully in public.

Politics:
Bruce Lehrmann was an Australian government staffer who lured and raped a woman, another staffer, in a minister's office. After temporarily escaping the charges in the criminal trial because of jury misconduct, Bruce decided to sue the victim for defamation after she went public with the rape. The judge not only ruled against Lehrmann with regards to the defamation accusations, but also determined that Lehrmann did indeed rape her. Bruce, you are an eternal wanker and frankly, a piece of shit.

Runner up:
Randy Kaufman, you were once a promising candidate in Maricopa County, Florida. Alas, masturbating near a school is still a very bad thing for you to do. Fucking wanker!

Literotica:
History is filled with wankers, but this thread has a recency bias. Let's go Litsters, who are the biggest wankers in Lit history? Here's your chance to get your nominations off your chests.

Runner up:
@JaySecrets. Nominated for letting everyone put his name in their mouths amongst so many other wankerisms.
 
InThe312 said:
Another perspective brought to you by Wanker Media Group. Ever wonder who were the worst wankers in history? Maybe the worst celebrity wanker. Superior American sports wanker? We have you covered.

It really takes a lot to be considered a historic wanker in any category. I think if we all tried a little harder, we could identify the historical wankers of lit. Y'all spend pages and pages debating the legends of Lit. Time to up your game.

But I digress. Who are the world's greatest wankers?

Music:
His contributions to the music industry are suspect as well, but Vince Neil is the biggest wanker in music history. Neil is well known for his drinking problems. Even though he was drunk when he killed a person and maimed two others with his car, Neil served about 3 milliseconds of jail time and continued to drink and drive. What a wanker.

Runner up:
Vince has a close colleague, Tommy Lee. There is no way that a man with THAT equipment was not an exceptional wanker. I know I would never leave home if I could self-fellate (just kidding @StillRain, this is just a puff piece).

Hollywood:
There are wankers (you'll see him mometarily) and then there are wankers. Harvey Weinstein is certainly the worst wanker in Hollywood. Even though he is getting a new trial on technicalities, other evidence of other wankerisms that apparently shouldn't have been allowed at trial, his rape and sexual assault elevate him to the worst wanker in Hollywood.

Runner up:
Paul Reubens made a career of entertaining children and being nearly as funny as this month's Panel of Judge. Sadly for Paul, he also found that getting caught wanking in a public theater is apparently still a problem. Paul, you're a wanker.

Sports:
I really only know American sports and a smattering of AFL, so take my bias as you will. We all remember Michael Vick. Dog fighting and cruelty to animals would run him out of the NFL. What a wanker!

Runner up:
Reese McGuire, at the time a catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, got picked up after complaints that he was half naked, wanking in his car in a mall parking lot. Learn from the mistakes of others my fellow Litsters. Wank carefully in public.

Politics:
Bruce Lehrmann was an Australian government staffer who lured and raped a woman, another staffer, in a minister's office. After temporarily escaping the charges in the criminal trial because of jury misconduct, Bruce decided to sue the victim for defamation after she went public with the rape. The judge not only ruled against Lehrmann with regards to the defamation accusations, but also determined that Lehrmann did indeed rape her. Bruce, you are an eternal wanker and frankly, a piece of shit.

Runner up:
Randy Kaufman, you were once a promising candidate in Maricopa County, Florida. Alas, masturbating near a school is still a very bad thing for you to do. Fucking wanker!

Literotica:
History is filled with wankers, but this thread has a recency bias. Let's go Litsters, who are the biggest wankers in Lit history? Here's your chance to get your nominations off your chests.

Runner up:
@JaySecrets. Nominated for letting everyone put his name in their mouths amongst so many other wankerisms.
Click to expand...
Nominated for not knowing how long a fucking week is..
 
InThe312 said:
Another perspective brought to you by Wanker Media Group. Ever wonder who were the worst wankers in history? Maybe the worst celebrity wanker. Superior American sports wanker? We have you covered.

It really takes a lot to be considered a historic wanker in any category. I think if we all tried a little harder, we could identify the historical wankers of lit. Y'all spend pages and pages debating the legends of Lit. Time to up your game.

But I digress. Who are the world's greatest wankers?

Music:
His contributions to the music industry are suspect as well, but Vince Neil is the biggest wanker in music history. Neil is well known for his drinking problems. Even though he was drunk when he killed a person and maimed two others with his car, Neil served about 3 milliseconds of jail time and continued to drink and drive. What a wanker.

Runner up:
Vince has a close colleague, Tommy Lee. There is no way that a man with THAT equipment was not an exceptional wanker. I know I would never leave home if I could self-fellate (just kidding @StillRain, this is just a puff piece).

Hollywood:
There are wankers (you'll see him mometarily) and then there are wankers. Harvey Weinstein is certainly the worst wanker in Hollywood. Even though he is getting a new trial on technicalities, other evidence of other wankerisms that apparently shouldn't have been allowed at trial, his rape and sexual assault elevate him to the worst wanker in Hollywood.

Runner up:
Paul Reubens made a career of entertaining children and being nearly as funny as this month's Panel of Judge. Sadly for Paul, he also found that getting caught wanking in a public theater is apparently still a problem. Paul, you're a wanker.

Sports:
I really only know American sports and a smattering of AFL, so take my bias as you will. We all remember Michael Vick. Dog fighting and cruelty to animals would run him out of the NFL. What a wanker!

Runner up:
Reese McGuire, at the time a catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, got picked up after complaints that he was half naked, wanking in his car in a mall parking lot. Learn from the mistakes of others my fellow Litsters. Wank carefully in public.

Politics:
Bruce Lehrmann was an Australian government staffer who lured and raped a woman, another staffer, in a minister's office. After temporarily escaping the charges in the criminal trial because of jury misconduct, Bruce decided to sue the victim for defamation after she went public with the rape. The judge not only ruled against Lehrmann with regards to the defamation accusations, but also determined that Lehrmann did indeed rape her. Bruce, you are an eternal wanker and frankly, a piece of shit.

Runner up:
Randy Kaufman, you were once a promising candidate in Maricopa County, Florida. Alas, masturbating near a school is still a very bad thing for you to do. Fucking wanker!

Literotica:
History is filled with wankers, but this thread has a recency bias. Let's go Litsters, who are the biggest wankers in Lit history? Here's your chance to get your nominations off your chests.

Runner up:
@JaySecrets. Nominated for letting everyone put his name in their mouths amongst so many other wankerisms.
Click to expand...
TLDR: poster is a wanker
 
InThe312 said:
Another perspective brought to you by Wanker Media Group. Ever wonder who were the worst wankers in history? Maybe the worst celebrity wanker. Superior American sports wanker? We have you covered.

It really takes a lot to be considered a historic wanker in any category. I think if we all tried a little harder, we could identify the historical wankers of lit. Y'all spend pages and pages debating the legends of Lit. Time to up your game.

But I digress. Who are the world's greatest wankers?

Music:
His contributions to the music industry are suspect as well, but Vince Neil is the biggest wanker in music history. Neil is well known for his drinking problems. Even though he was drunk when he killed a person and maimed two others with his car, Neil served about 3 milliseconds of jail time and continued to drink and drive. What a wanker.

Runner up:
Vince has a close colleague, Tommy Lee. There is no way that a man with THAT equipment was not an exceptional wanker. I know I would never leave home if I could self-fellate (just kidding @StillRain, this is just a puff piece).

Hollywood:
There are wankers (you'll see him mometarily) and then there are wankers. Harvey Weinstein is certainly the worst wanker in Hollywood. Even though he is getting a new trial on technicalities, other evidence of other wankerisms that apparently shouldn't have been allowed at trial, his rape and sexual assault elevate him to the worst wanker in Hollywood.

Runner up:
Paul Reubens made a career of entertaining children and being nearly as funny as this month's Panel of Judge. Sadly for Paul, he also found that getting caught wanking in a public theater is apparently still a problem. Paul, you're a wanker.

Sports:
I really only know American sports and a smattering of AFL, so take my bias as you will. We all remember Michael Vick. Dog fighting and cruelty to animals would run him out of the NFL. What a wanker!

Runner up:
Reese McGuire, at the time a catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, got picked up after complaints that he was half naked, wanking in his car in a mall parking lot. Learn from the mistakes of others my fellow Litsters. Wank carefully in public.

Politics:
Bruce Lehrmann was an Australian government staffer who lured and raped a woman, another staffer, in a minister's office. After temporarily escaping the charges in the criminal trial because of jury misconduct, Bruce decided to sue the victim for defamation after she went public with the rape. The judge not only ruled against Lehrmann with regards to the defamation accusations, but also determined that Lehrmann did indeed rape her. Bruce, you are an eternal wanker and frankly, a piece of shit.

Runner up:
Randy Kaufman, you were once a promising candidate in Maricopa County, Florida. Alas, masturbating near a school is still a very bad thing for you to do. Fucking wanker!

Literotica:
History is filled with wankers, but this thread has a recency bias. Let's go Litsters, who are the biggest wankers in Lit history? Here's your chance to get your nominations off your chests.

Runner up:
@JaySecrets. Nominated for letting everyone put his name in their mouths amongst so many other wankerisms.
Click to expand...
I have to admit I’ve not heard of a a fair few of these wankers. Except of course that Australian fucker who has dominated our media landscape for a long time with his absolute mastery of the wank, oh and yeah Weinerstein. Ugh. Gross.

People wonder women choose the bear. Honestly.
 
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