Opinion on open relationship

[Keiiii]

His satisfaction would come from knowing you’re the satisfaction of other guys or seeing it in person, which is his goal. The thought arouses him. He wants you to be a slut. Might as well knock your socks off and enjoy yourself!

Will he be able to take it?

 

[Naughtylo]

We are and love it. It works for us. X

 

[Keiiii]

Hurt him?

Emotionally.
What if it's just his fantasy? If it happens in real life, it might become traumatic. I've heard how people get hurt when their partner cheats or gets into an intimate relationship with another person.

 

[Nellie60]

His satisfaction would come from knowing you’re the satisfaction of other guys or seeing it in person, which is his goal. The thought arouses him. He wants you to be a slut. Might as well knock your socks off and enjoy yourself!

Perhaps that's what he really wants to see, wanting you to open up for his own fantasy or he's having an affair already?

 

[newhere2learn]

Emotionally.
What if it's just his fantasy? If it happens in real life, it might become traumatic. I've heard how people get hurt when their partner cheats or gets into an intimate relationship with another person.

Fair point well made, you think him seeing you take other dick, would hurt him?

 

[Nellie60]

Emotionally.
What if it's just his fantasy? If it happens in real life, it might become traumatic. I've heard how people get hurt when their partner cheats or gets into an intimate relationship with another person.

Jealous always going be there. If you are keen the relationship requires lots of communications and trust if you survive this test.

 

[Keiiii]

or he's having an affair already?

That's another option I'm considering as well.

 

[UWERETHINKINGIT]

Perhaps that's what he really wants to see, wanting you to open up for his own fantasy or he's having an affair already?

 

[Nellie60]

I've always been monogamous. This is the first time I've been asked about this. Our family is very traditional, so I've never entertained this idea before. I don't want to jeopardize our relationship, but I'm open to experiencing new things. However, I'm also very scared because it might hurt him.

He's asking for a reason. I think its a fantasy for him

 

[UWERETHINKINGIT]

Will he be able to take it?

All depends, how invested he is in his fantasy. Call his bluff. Tell him you’ve been thinking about it and the thought of touching another guys dick, sucking it, having it inside you kind of thrills you, and you want him to see it.

 

[Keiiii]

Fair point well made, you think him seeing you take other dick, would hurt him?

He is possessive. Whenever I go out with my male friends, he keeps calling and asking what I'm doing and where I am. He even checks my location. That's why I wonder if he would be able to handle it if I actually slept with another man.

 

[Nellie60]

All depends, how invested he is in his fantasy. Call his bluff. Tell him you’ve been thinking about it and the thought of touching another guys dick, sucking it, having it inside you kind of thrills you, and you want him to see it.

Yep, he is the person asking you. Therefore he's up to something and this reverse psychology might work. I can guarantee he would like to watch since he asked.

 

[Keiiii]

All depends, how invested he is in his fantasy. Call his bluff. Tell him you’ve been thinking about it and the thought of touching another guys dick, sucking it, having it inside you kind of thrills you, and you want him to see it.

I would have done that, but he already asks me to imagine one of my male friends fucking me, while we are having sex and asks what he should do to act like them.

 

[Nellie60]

He is possessive. Whenever I go out with my male friends, he keeps calling and asking what I'm doing and where I am. He even checks my location. That's why I wonder if he would be able to handle it if I actually slept with another man.

I think he is turned on.

 

[UWERETHINKINGIT]

I would have done that, but he already asks me to imagine one of my male friends fucking me, while we are having sex and asks what he should do to act like them.

I think you dig into his fantasy. Throw gas on the . Have sex with him today. Tell him you want to call him the name of your male friend while he’s inside you. Say filthy things using his name. Feel the difference in how he fucks you, how hard he is, how hard he fucks you and how hard he cums. Or just tell him you want to close your eyes and imagine it’s your male friend when you suck your husband. Play the part. Don’t open your eyes. Use your friends name. Watch and feel his reaction.

 

[neon_noodle]

He is possessive. Whenever I go out with my male friends, he keeps calling and asking what I'm doing and where I am. He even checks my location. That's why I wonder if he would be able to handle it if I actually slept with another man.

Some people are strange about this - perfectly OK with their wife or husband having sex with someone else with them their, but are completely jealous when that same spouse is having lunch with someone else.

It's a control issue. They're fine if they can control things with them being there, but are insecure if they're not present or in control.

So you get dualities like: "I want you to have sex with another man", and also "why's that guy checking your ass out, that bastard!"

 

[Keiiii]

We are and love it. It works for us. X

What did you like about it? Did you guys ever fought on this issue?

 

[Keiiii]

Some people are strange about this - perfectly OK with their wife or husband having sex with someone else with them their, but are completely jealous when that same spouse is having lunch with someone else.

It's a control issue. They're fine if they can control things with them being there, but are insecure if they're not present or in control.

So you get dualities like: "I want you to have sex with another man", and also "why's that guy checking your ass out, that bastard!"

Exactly like you said.
And if I do it I know he will only end up hurting himself.

 

[neon_noodle]

The problem then is that your husband has control issues, and adding another guy into things is a huge complication, that most likely will ultimately end up poorly.

It may start out fine, but eventually he'll think you like the other guy too much, or will be searching on your phone to see if you're contacted the guy without him setting it up, and so forth.

Adding another person into sex is a serious decision, that really only works out if both spouses are comfortable and open about things, and not at all controlling or jealous. So there are hazards if you go down that route as things probably stand.

On the other hand, you get to suck and ride another hot hard cock, so there's that too! Only you can decide what to do. Good luck.

 

[luvclassics]

He is possessive. Whenever I go out with my male friends, he keeps calling and asking what I'm doing and where I am. He even checks my location. That's why I wonder if he would be able to handle it if I actually slept with another man.

Possessive, he can’t trust you to be out and around men with no sex involved but wants you to consider an open relationship. My opinion, for what it is worth, he wouldn’t be able to handle it in the end.

What do you want from the relationship? You have to charter a course in the direction that will make you happy.

If he is not happy about it or continues to question what you’re doing and where you have been all the time, do you want that in your life? If you want to open things up just be prepared for what could come afterwards.

You deserve to be happy, follow your heart and head.

 

[Keiiii]

Possessive, he can’t trust you to be out and around men with no sex involved but wants you to consider an open relationship. My opinion, for what it is worth, he wouldn’t be able to handle it in the end.

What do you want from the relationship? You have to charter a course in the direction that will make you happy.

If he is not happy about it or continues to question what you’re doing and where you have been all the time, do you want that in your life? If you want to open things up just be prepared for what could come afterwards.

You deserve to be happy, follow your heart and head.

Well, he gets possessive and asks me for details when I'm with those three male friends. He asks me where I am and if I'm going to their place. He also tells me they are better for me than him and asks me whom I like the best. It's also their names I mention when I have sex with him.

 

[Keiiii]

The problem then is that your husband has control issues, and adding another guy into things is a huge complication, that most likely will ultimately end up poorly.

It may start out fine, but eventually he'll think you like the other guy too much, or will be searching on your phone to see if you're contacted the guy without him setting it up, and so forth.

Adding another person into sex is a serious decision, that really only works out if both spouses are comfortable and open about things, and not at all controlling or jealous. So there are hazards if you go down that route as things probably stand.

He already does.

On the other hand, you get to suck and ride another hot hard cock, so there's that too! Only you can decide what to do. Good luck.

Trust me, I'm not easy. If any man gets me to ride his dick, I'll be his.

 

[neon_noodle]

Doesn't sound like it would be a good situations then, if he's already snooping on you. I'd say leave things just in fantasy mode, with you calling him other guy's name during sex, and you two describing a threesome with another guy.

 

[luvclassics]

Well, he gets possessive and asks me for details when I'm with those three male friends. He asks me where I am and if I'm going to their place. He also tells me they are better for me than him and asks me whom I like the best. It's also their names I mention when I have sex with him.

Only you can decide if you want to live like that. If you decide to indulge his stated desires, make sure he tells you exactly the rules he expects. You can then decide if you still want to continue to play along. Also if you are afraid that he may harm himself, then he needs to get some help.

 

[14ALL]

But what I want to know is, is this normal? Just think about it: you're in a relationship, and your wife is having sex in another room. How would that feel?

Not good. This kind of dynamic is for people who are very comfortable with their sexual relationship(s). It’s for people who recognize the limitations of what they want and what they expect from a partner AND are both/all legitimately okay with it.

Air, Water, Food, Shelter, Sex…. these are foundational needs. Jealousy is different with these needs. Think about food…. If you're starving, the idea of sharing your lunch isn’t going to sit well with you. If your partner controls your lunch and keeps giving it to someone else when you’re starving, you're going to have problems. Sharing your lunch only works out fine when there’s enough of what you want and need so that you don’t feel compromised and your needs are still being met or exceeded.

I would be pissed if my wife was fucking other guys and I wasn’t getting any. And I’m sure she’d be pissed, too, if I was fucking a bunch of other women and I never wanted to touch her anymore. I guess, if she’s out fucking other guys but then still fucks me every which way I want to the point that I’m never left wanting…. maybe then…. because what is there to be jealous of at that point? I’m getting everything I need and want… so I’m glad she’s happy, too.

Going back to food - If you have a gourmet chef at home, going out to eat once in a while can be fun…. but it generally doesn’t measure up to what’s available in your own kitchen. HOWEVER… if your partner only knows how to make buttered noodles and then gives you permission to eat at other restaurants…. you’re not going to be happy with what’s served at home anymore. You’re going to come home full, reject your partner's cooking, and the few times you actually decide to eat it… you won’t enjoy it. And there wont be any secret about it.

People say they can go back…. I think that’s limited to only those who already have an excellent partner and fooling around on the side was a relatively substandard experience. I just can’t imagine going to back to a monogamous relationship once you’ve had better sex with better partners outside of it.

Honestly, what do those conversations look like? “Oh hey, Honey, remember those times you were enjoying meals at that 5 star French restaurant? Was it really better than my mac and cheese?…. It’s okay... you can tell me the truth... I won’t be jealous… I’m just asking because you don’t seem to be enjoying dinner. Should I try the white cheddar box tomorrow night?”

Alternatively, “Hey, Honey, going out to that restaurant was fun, but it was nothing compared to your beef short rib with that glaze you make, and nobody can match your asparagus… maybe next time we can go together and you can see for yourself?”