Aging guy depression...Anyone else go through this?

[Simon_Masters]

Have you had your testosterone checked? Lower testosterone levels as we age can contribute to depression. Not every man has the same initial symptoms. It doesn’t always start out with libido or erection problems. It can start with depressed mood, lethargy, and weight gain.

I'm just at this phase, I'm 58, suffered mental health problems since puberty. I've been suffering very low mood for the last decade or so, been on antidepressant medication which frankly killed my libido, I felt like a zombie, just existing. I question why I bother carrying on frequently, I am getting counselling. Just struggling to see the point.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I had these feelings when I was 15. At 25. At 35. At 45. Etc. It's always a temptation to think you've run out of time. And it's never true.
What works is letting go of outdated goals. The shit you wanted 20 or 30 years ago you, if you're honest with yourself, don't really want anymore. Find new goals. New things to learn. New challenges. They may not be half as monumental as they once were, but with years of experience behind you new goals can be twice as fulfilling. Giving yourself permission to let go of the past is how you gain the energy to move towards the future.

 

[pink]

I'm just at this phase, I'm 58, suffered mental health problems since puberty. I've been suffering very low mood for the last decade or so, been on antidepressant medication which frankly killed my libido, I felt like a zombie, just existing. I question why I bother carrying on frequently, I am getting counselling. Just struggling to see the point.

No libido here either but I'll take the trade. I've got a good cocktail of meds that I'm v happy with.

Sometimes it takes more than 1 antidepressant to get rid of the funk. I'm v srs about this, I'm not just spouting. Talk to whoever writes your scripts and tw them I need more help. You must be your own....I can't think of the word but you must be proactive. No one is going to do it for you.


And yes, I'm not a dude.

 

[Beandip478]

Have you had your testosterone checked? Lower testosterone levels as we age can contribute to depression. Not every man has the same initial symptoms. It doesn’t always start out with libido or erection problems. It can start with depressed mood, lethargy, and weight gain.

You happen to be exactly right, I think. I have a general physical scheduled in March, and I'm going to ask the doctor to check for low testosterone.

 

[TrailerHitch]

I am 58 and lately, my age has really been weighing on me, because it had struck me that I am a little too close to 60 for comfort. I know that nowadays, if you have good health and take care of your body, been in your 60s is not that much of a limitation, physically, but...
Well, first of all, being in your 60s leads to being in your 70s, and that thought fills me with dread, terror, and depression. But putting that aside for now, I think the depression I'm experiencing has more to do with the sense that at my age there are no more accomplishments to be made, no more goals to strive for--in the sense that none of it would matter since I'm approaching old age. When you're young, time doesn't seem to move, and you are excitedly motivated to achieve or experience this, that and the other. Well, at my age I pretty much already have, and I feel like there's just no point in trying to achieve anything because, as it has been said, it all ends in death.
Do these feelings sound familiar to anyone out there?

I am a 64 year old MWM and I understand depression, I really do as I have suffered from it for years. Life had thrown me some knuckleballs and despite my best efforts alone and with the help of my wife I couldn't pull myself up. No one outside of my family knew of the depression as to the rest of the world I seemed a happy, enthusiastic, involved guy. My wife and I relocated to a different state, made some great friends, I got involved as a volunteer firefighter, got my passion for being in my shop back, but the sadness would creep in and take hold of me. My wife, my beautiful loving wife, convinced me to see a counselor and finally this counselor listens to what I am saying with no preconceived notions and she has helped me greatly find the source of my depression and I am happier than I have been in decades.

I've gone back to work part-time and I absolutely love it! I am very social so working in a big box home improvement store where I get to help people solve their wild and weird problems on a daily basis is perfect for me. Some of our new friends are swingers and while we decided not to join their group we had long discussions about our sexual fantasies and mutually decided we wanted an open marriage to explore our desires. Our lives are busy and full with working on our house, going to the movies, out to eat, over to friends houses for game nights, exploring resale shops, seeing the sights, and honestly just being together.

Don't give in to the depression, get back out their and chase an old passion or find a new one to explore. You are only as old as you let yourself believe. Also, don't dwell on age or death. Both are inevitable. Live today and fill it how you want.

 

[TrailerHitch]

I am the same age as you are and am sorry to hear it is hitting you this way. The only thing I can relate to is that time does indeed seem to pass faster than it used to.

But in general growing older with whatever may come with it is not on my mind a lot, perhaps I am lucky that way.
If there is one thing where in my mind it makes no sense at all to worry about it it is growing older, being one of the inevitable things for us all.

In my mind achievements can and will always be made at any age. They will probably change with you as you do. Think about it, what seemed like a big achievement to you forty years ago you may now consider as a mundane one. And the one that you took for granted all those years ago may become your biggest achievement again in a couple of years.

Death will be there for all of us, perhaps it is lurking around the corner already who knows. A close (younger) family member had a close brush with it just the other week. Be content with the road you still are on and try to listen to that blackbird sing or let you mind be baffled how on earth it is possible that a juicy orange can taste so good.
Put shortly, live! and yes I know that is the hardest thing to do ever.

This is an awesome post. You hit it right on..

 

[TrailerHitch]

I'm not fighting or delaying. If that exit door opens and anybody gets between me and it, they're probably going to get run over.

Geezus what a negative attitude...

 

[Simon_Masters]

Geezus what a negative attitude...

If you think that's negative, don't get inside my head.

 

[TrailerHitch]

If you think that's negative, don't get inside my head.

I have no interest in sinking that low.

 

[Goldenfinger]

No libido here either but I'll take the trade. I've got a good cocktail of meds that I'm v happy with.

Sometimes it takes more than 1 antidepressant to get rid of the funk. I'm v srs about this, I'm not just spouting. Talk to whoever writes your scripts and tw them I need more help. You must be your own....I can't think of the word but you must be proactive. No one is going to do it for you.


And yes, I'm not a dude.

you have to be your own advocate. I also believe that. They have protocols and try to fit everybody into a little square box, that doesn’t always work.

 

[pinkytoe60]

I am 60, and will be 61 in June. I'm not going through this depression thing as I age. I think menopause was one of the best things that ever happened to me because I don't have mood swings anymore, I feel happy and even like I did when I was a kid. Definitely get your testosterone levels checked.

I think diet and exercise at our age is also one of the major things you can do in fighting off depression. As we age, we can't tolerate eating the processed foods we've eaten out of the grocery stores all of our lives. My advice is start with the basics, exercise and eat food you can buy locally like vegetables from the farmer's market. Find a local farmer that will sell you meat. Drink those 8 glasses of water per day. Start there and you will see your energy and enthusiasm for life pick up. It did for me.

 

[GeorgeinRacine]

I am 58 and lately, my age has really been weighing on me, because it had struck me that I am a little too close to 60 for comfort. I know that nowadays, if you have good health and take care of your body, been in your 60s is not that much of a limitation, physically, but...
Well, first of all, being in your 60s leads to being in your 70s, and that thought fills me with dread, terror, and depression. But putting that aside for now, I think the depression I'm experiencing has more to do with the sense that at my age there are no more accomplishments to be made, no more goals to strive for--in the sense that none of it would matter since I'm approaching old age. When you're young, time doesn't seem to move, and you are excitedly motivated to achieve or experience this, that and the other. Well, at my age I pretty much already have, and I feel like there's just no point in trying to achieve anything because, as it has been said, it all ends in death.
Do these feelings sound familiar to anyone out there?

Yep. Definitely Yep.
Seems like all the movie/TV themes are just repeats. Music too. No chance for new romance (happily married) or the feelings when discovering all the little personal things about a new love, or that moment when you remove their panties for the first time. No more chances to be an astronaut, an actor, a CEO or any of many dreams you always deferred because 'there's always time'. Now, there isn't any more time.
However, I just switched meds from ssri's to bupropion and that is helping.
I'm 59.

 

[Beholders_Eye]

Yep. Definitely Yep.
Seems like all the movie/TV themes are just repeats. Music too. No chance for new romance (happily married) or the feelings when discovering all the little personal things about a new love, or that moment when you remove their panties for the first time. No more chances to be an astronaut, an actor, a CEO or any of many dreams you always deferred because 'there's always time'. Now, there isn't any more time.
However, I just switched meds from ssri's to bupropion and that is helping.
I'm 59.

Not trying to be a smart-ass, but as long as there is enough time for one more orgasm, I'm gonna go for it...

 

[GeorgeinRacine]

Not trying to be a smart-ass, but as long as there is enough time for one more orgasm, I'm gonna go for it...

So, actually that is one bright spot in my life. My wife suffered quite a bit of physical and sexual trauma in her life so we have a 'no penetrating' agreement, but she has consented to letting me explore my bisexuality with other men. One last hurrah perhaps as a sexual being before physical old age turns the steel rod to rust.

 

[GeorgeinRacine]

Geezus what a negative attitude...

Yeah, cause mental health is easily repaired with positive thinking. /sarc off

 

[FL30]

I am 58 and lately, my age has really been weighing on me, because it had struck me that I am a little too close to 60 for comfort. I know that nowadays, if you have good health and take care of your body, been in your 60s is not that much of a limitation, physically, but...
Well, first of all, being in your 60s leads to being in your 70s, and that thought fills me with dread, terror, and depression. But putting that aside for now, I think the depression I'm experiencing has more to do with the sense that at my age there are no more accomplishments to be made, no more goals to strive for--in the sense that none of it would matter since I'm approaching old age. When you're young, time doesn't seem to move, and you are excitedly motivated to achieve or experience this, that and the other. Well, at my age I pretty much already have, and I feel like there's just no point in trying to achieve anything because, as it has been said, it all ends in death.
Do these feelings sound familiar to anyone out there?

Dude, seriously, you need to go see a counselor. You have some major issues, and you need someone to talk, and you also need someone that can help you through all of your issues.

 

[TrailerHitch]

Yeah, cause mental health is easily repaired with positive thinking. /sarc off

Yeah, because I said exactly that. I guess you didn't see where I said I suffered with depression for years and I finally went to a counselor that listened and has helped me. Sorry that I didn't hop on the med wagon, but I didn't want that. If that's what others need then rock on. At least get some help one way or another.

But if you don't like this post tough shit.

 

[Chernosoth]

Malaise and boredom are luxuries of people with easy lives. Life may soon get much harder for most of us. The struggle to stay fed and housed tends to become more important than "what do I do with my life" questions, for the survivors. There are plenty of starving homeless people who would be glad to take your food and home and dump your body in a ditch.

 

[TrailerHitch]

Malaise and boredom are luxuries of people with easy lives. Life may soon get much harder for most of us. The struggle to stay fed and housed tends to become more important than "what do I do with my life" questions, for the survivors. There are plenty of starving homeless people who would be glad to take your food and home and dump your body in a ditch.

Quite possibly one of the most ignorant posts about depression ever.

 

[Chernosoth]

I missed an aspect of the OP. Depression and despair are common in seniors who realize how much of what they wanted to achieve will never happen. Lost and wasted opportunities leave a long and bitter aftertaste. All they can do is try to do something with what life they have left, or just die.

 

[TallMan69]

Have you had your testosterone checked? Lower testosterone levels as we age can contribute to depression. Not every man has the same initial symptoms. It doesn’t always start out with libido or erection problems. It can start with depressed mood, lethargy, and weight gain.

I agree. Low T can be at issue with energy/vitality. Also not a bad idea to just have a regular physical. Get ones electrolytes checked and other labs. Things like low thyroid or even low vitamin D can play havoc with energy level and vitality.

Just like a used car we need to have the doc check under the hood and run some diagnostics to keep us old timers running well.

I know as a man we men often don’t always think as proactively about health as much as women do. Sometimes this means waiting to go see the doctor when there’s a problem. Instead of going in regularly (esp to keep an eye on issues that have strong family history) to head off or find out about something at an early stage (before it has signs or symptoms).

Good thread. Feels like a good men’s club thread, comparing notes and commiserating about time seeming to click quicker than it did before.

I’ve felt this way enough about time seeming to move faster to look it up. And it’s not all that uncommon of a phenomenon as we move forward along the game board of life and after a certain point have much less time ahead than we’ve already lived. I got more into mindfulness after I started feeling this way and to think through things accomplished in the short, medium and long term to remind myself that it’s just a perception issue and that a LOT of living and memories are taking place and not sweat the small stuff as much.

I’ve had some health setbacks in the last few years but still love life and count myself very fortunate to have lived through this horrific pandemic. It took down folks much healthier than me. But I was fully vaccinated and played it very close to the vest with social isolation, waging hands and wearing masks. It got very old but still being alive well outweighed the cons.

This sounds more like the kind of thread that took place on the board when the OG members checked in and chatted about anything and everything in their minds.

I definitely have a lot of things I want to do in this big old world but being in my 50s I’m not ready to call it a ‘bucket list’ just yet. But maybe I’d be more apt to get them done in a timely fashion and when I still have my health if I called it that.

 

[muycurioso]

I am totally alone and invisible to everyone.

 

[muycurioso]

Live every day as though it's your last - and hope like hell that it isn't.

At 63 I was given a month or so to live. So far I've managed to stretch that month into more than 13 years.

i would love to hear that

 

[PFWilly]

I’m about to hit 75. 25 years ago, after open heart surgery following a complete cardiac arrest, the docs said I had a 50/50 chance of living…for three days. Eight years after that my appendix ruptured, two days later I had surgery, by then I was septic. Treatment was massive antibiotics and a wound drainage system attached to a vacuum pump 24/7 for a month. A few years after that I had a gallbladder attack. Surgeon said it was gangrenous and the worst he’d ever seen. In a few weeks from now, I celebrate the sixth anniversary of being cancer free. Treatment for cancer was a solid month of daily radiation treatments, followed by removal and reconstruction of my 70% of my nose.

My first heart attack was at the age of 41. My point? I’ve had a lot of great times in the last 34 years, by not worrying about my life being nearly over. Best counseling I ever got was from my cardiologist after my 4th (of an eventual 8) angioplasties. His thoughts…”if 3 Billion people on this planet all worried about the exact same problem, at exactly the same time…the only outcome would be that 3 Billion hours would have been wasted…NOTHING would be changed.” This doctor was a survivor of testicular cancer at age 29, his words really stuck with me. He’s retired, and nearly 80 now.

One step ahead of another, looking forward to my next adventure.

 

[ace195008]

PFWilly your great, loved the post, prostate cancer survivor here, radiation and hormone, Lupron treatment I also had a great radio-oncologist and urologist.