“Hammered – an Ode to Mickey Spillane” Story Event: Official Support Thread

[ElectricBlue]

I pulled my pistol out of my jacket and unloaded three Remington hollow points into the typewriter. It was a waste of good lead, but it made me feel better about not getting a noir story written.

EB's noir hero looked up from his typewriter in the next room. "Gettin' kinda busy around here, makes a guy lose his concentration."

"You'll be fine, Dan," said Ruby. "This tight red dress has a zipper all the way down the back. You'll know what to do, when you run short of inspiration."

She crossed her legs with the soft glide of silk stockings on skin.

 

[MillieDynamite]

some selection from story:

"What a grand sight he made. The millionaire’s clothing spoke volumes as Randolph’s suit was blue silk, a double-breasted design, new and custom-made. The Brooks Brothers, no doubt, had made him the outfit perhaps only days before. With his pull, the last of the line, Winthrop Brooks, himself might have tailored the clothing for him. The suit had a new, fresh from the box appearance.

With uneasy eyes, he studied me. Adjusting himself, he moved to the edge of the chair. With his thick fingers, Alistair Cranston Randolph rolled a smoke, using deliberate care. The man rolled the cigarette with dexterity, which comes from much practice. Placing his construct into the corner of his mouth, he extracted a packet of matches from his pocket. Lifting the cover, Alistair bent a match downward, closed the cover, and stuck the paper stick with his thumb on the rough patch. Once he lit the smoke, he turned his attention back to me."

Noir enough?

 

[drscar]

some selection from story:

"What a grand sight he made. The millionaire’s clothing spoke volumes as Randolph’s suit was blue silk, a double-breasted design, new and custom-made. The Brooks Brothers, no doubt, had made him the outfit perhaps only days before. With his pull, the last of the line, Winthrop Brooks, himself might have tailored the clothing for him. The suit had a new, fresh from the box appearance.

With uneasy eyes, he studied me. Adjusting himself, he moved to the edge of the chair. With his thick fingers, Alistair Cranston Randolph rolled a smoke, using deliberate care. The man rolled the cigarette with dexterity, which comes from much practice. Placing his construct into the corner of his mouth, he extracted a packet of matches from his pocket. Lifting the cover, Alistair bent a match downward, closed the cover, and stuck the paper stick with his thumb on the rough patch. Once he lit the smoke, he turned his attention back to me."

Noir enough?

I think "enough" is in the eye of the beholder, IMO. I'm not sure what kind of feedback you're looking for (though I was tempted, and I'm sure a few others may be, to offer "noir suggestions"), but overall I like it. Probably a few too many complex sentence structures to be Spillane-esque, but I still liked it.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I think "enough" is in the eye of the beholder, IMO. I'm not sure what kind of feedback you're looking for (though I was tempted, and I'm sure a few others may be, to offer "noir suggestions"), but overall I like it. Probably a few too many complex sentence structures to be Spillane-esque, but I still liked it.

I haven't read Micky Spillane, my inspiration is more Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler. These were required reading in my adoptive home. My adoptive brother's middle name is Philip after Philip Marlow.

While neither relied on complex sentences, they did use them.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Noir enough?

"More English county manners, to my eye, Ma'am," said Dan, lighting another cigarette. "But so long as the dame puts out, should be fine."

 

[drscar]

I haven't read Micky Spillane, my inspiration is more Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler. These were required reading in my adoptive home. My adoptive brother's middle name is Philip after Philip Marlow.

While neither relied on complex sentences, they did use them.

Rule #1 - it's your story.
Rule #2 - Have fun with it.
Rule #3 - If you like what you wrote, that's what is really important.
Rule #4 - Never, ever, ever let someone criticize your style. They can criticize your spelling, your plot holes, your typos, or even your word choice. But not your style. That's yours. See Rule #1.

As I said, I like it. I'm not sure what your goal is or how you are challenging yourself. If it's to get as close to the spirit of the contest, that's one thing. If it's to write a mystery (a valid goal) in your own style, that's another. They're all valid.

The Spillane/Noir is different from the Hammett/Noir and/or Chandler/Noir (if they can be considered as such - personally, I don't know. I've never read Hammett, and never really thought of Chandler as "Noir." But that doesn't mean that the story isn't good.) But if you want to write like Hammett (and that's what you're challenging yourself to do), or write like Chandler (same thing), or just find some sort of flavor of each/both... then I say go for it.

 

[HeyAll]

The Go Live date of October 1st will be interested because it's also the start of the Halloween contest. Will be a busy day.

 

[LAHomedog]

I haven't read Micky Spillane, my inspiration is more Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler. These were required reading in my adoptive home. My adoptive brother's middle name is Philip after Philip Marlow.

While neither relied on complex sentences, they did use them.

Even though I'm a fan of all of those writers, I'm writing in the style of Robert Parker and "Spenser." A line from my story:

"She was as cute as the Easter Bunny, but not as smart."

Another little run:

I leaned in giving her the full treatment, and maybe steal a glance down her blouse. The lace bra was red. “Are you sure. I think I’m early. Hanging around here for a bit would be okay with me.”

“Oh no! It says he wants to see you right away.”

I smiled. “Would that happened to be an universal invitation?”

“Sorry good looking.” She lifted her hand to show me the ring, “Married.”

“Well, that’s a damn shame.

“Today, it might be,” she looked up and batted those baby blues

“We could remedy that with a quick lunch later.”

“Doesn’t it bother you that I’m married?

I stopped for a beat and said, “Maybe. But what I want to know is does it bother you?”

I think that sounds like Spenser...

-----

 

[ElectricBlue]

Here's my teaser:

I heard the drag of the visitor's chair pulled across the floor and the soft swish of stockings as she sat, crossing her legs. I heard the snap of a lighter and smelled the tang of cigarette smoke. Lucky Strikes, menthol. Pushing the ashtray across the desk, I looked up.

To find myself looked over. The dame was a beauty, her lips scarlet, her eyes dark under the tilted brim of a pill-box hat. She dragged on her cigarette.

"You takin' visitors, or just takin' your time?"

Her voice was low and rough; a two pack a day gal, I guessed. Or too much whiskey on a south bound train. Whatever the cause, she sounded fine. Looked fine, too.

Damned if I know who I'm aping, coz I've not read any Spillane, Hammett, or any of those other guys mentioned.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Even though I'm a fan of all of those writers, I'm writing in the style of Robert Parker and "Spenser." A line from my story:

"She was as cute as the Easter Bunny, but not as smart."

Another little run:

I leaned in giving her the full treatment, and maybe steal a glance down her blouse. The lace bra was red. “Are you sure. I think I’m early. Hanging around here for a bit would be okay with me.”

“Oh no! It says he wants to see you right away.”

I smiled. “Would that happened to be an universal invitation?”

“Sorry good looking.” She lifted her hand to show me the ring, “Married.”

“Well, that’s a damn shame.

“Today, it might be,” she looked up and batted those baby blues

“We could remedy that with a quick lunch later.”

“Doesn’t it bother you that I’m married?

I stopped for a beat and said, “Maybe. But what I want to know is does it bother you?”

I think that sounds like Spenser...

-----

Very much sounds like Spenser.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Submitted. Whew! On time for once, too.

 

[drscar]

Story is done. Proofread 7 or 8 times. Very happy with it. About to submit.

Not happy with the title.

*sigh*.

Good grief.

 

[ChloeTzang]

Submitted. Whew! On time for once, too.

Oh my God, I'm only getting started.

 

[drscar]

Oh my God, I'm only getting started.

LOL.

Let's see, who said this in 2020? "So what are you waiting for? Next year? Get started now."

<checks notes>

Hmmm... busted!

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Chloe, you are a machine when it comes to writing. Two weeks from now, you’ll have a 300 page novel for the event.

And thanks again for hosting!

 

[SimonDoom]

Oh my God, I'm only getting started.

So you've only got 30,000 words written?

Step it up, Tzang. People are counting on you.

 

[HeyAll]

The first story went up today and got top billing.

I need to finish up 2 stories for the summer contest, then make 1 or 2 for this, then onto Halloween.

 

[LAHomedog]

The first story went up today and got top billing.

Great! Where? I can't find them.

 

[HeyAll]

Great! Where? I can't find them.

There was only 1 at the top of the new list yesterday.

Here it is on the Hub, for 9/1.

https://www.literotica.com/beta/c/erotic-novels

 

[MillieDynamite]

First draft of 'The Rich Man's' Wife is now done. I need to read though the thing, oh, a few dozen times, and find mistakes and do a little polish work. The tale got a lot bigger than I planned, 23,700 words so far. Not nearly as much a sex as I usually have, but I'm proud of my work on it.

I keep remembering what the Bible says, "Pride goeth before a fall." I hope to have this lengthy work up for review by Monday.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

There was only 1 at the top of the new list yesterday.

Here it is on the Hub, for 9/1.

https://www.literotica.com/beta/c/erotic-novels

Well, there's a story there and it says it's for the contest and it's doing well enough, but all entries are supposed to be released 1 October. I suspect the writer submitted it without the tag they were supposed to include. If so, they may want to pull it back and resubmit. Their call.

 

[ElectricBlue]

...but all entries are supposed to be released 1 October. I suspect the writer submitted it without the tag they were supposed to include. If so, they may want to pull it back and resubmit. Their call.

That damned deadline is hammering down on me like the southbound express, unseen in the mountains, but I know it's coming.

 

[RWesson]

The Spillane/Noir is different from the Hammett/Noir and/or Chandler/Noir (if they can be considered as such - personally, I don't know. I've never read Hammett, and never really thought of Chandler as "Noir." But that doesn't mean that the story isn't good.) But if you want to write like Hammett (and that's what you're challenging yourself to do), or write like Chandler (same thing), or just find some sort of flavor of each/both... then I say go for it.

I haven't read enough Spillane directly. I've read some Hammett, some Chandler; I just decided to go more 'Noir' than anything else, with the generic well known tropes. But mine is just a little fluff, and because I made it a 750 word one, it's not very much fluff, when you add in the over the top allusions, the grit and descriptive text. It has a 'Detective', a 'Fem Fatale', and a case, obviously quickly solved in a 750 word story. I could have done better outside that artificial constraint, but... I'd have to have about doubled it, which would have taken the fun out of writing it.

And as folks say, I wrote what I wrote for >ME< to have fun with. If others enjoy, or not, well, that's up to them.

 

[drscar]

And as folks say, I wrote what I wrote for >ME< to have fun with. If others enjoy, or not, well, that's up to them.

Amen.

 

[WifeWatchman]

Well, there's a story there and it says it's for the contest and it's doing well enough, but all entries are supposed to be released 1 October. I suspect the writer submitted it without the tag they were supposed to include. If so, they may want to pull it back and resubmit. Their call.

Wait a minute… I thought submissions would be published, and the deadline to be listed as part of the Spillane challenge was Sept 30th. So which is it? I really need to know because the timeline in my Spillane story is part of my overall Iron Crowbar series.

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=205711&page=submissions