Why do older men become bi-curious?

[tml20]

I am a 64 y/o mwm and, over the last few years, I have become more and more bi-curious. In email exchanges with other men around my age, I have found that well over half of them are experiencing the same thinh. Is this a common phenomenon?

MWM here. It started for me a few years ago..sometime I wake up and cock / cum is all I can think about!

 

[2moreyardsofsail]

I can't answer for anyone else but for me, I am who I am because of the support of my wife. She knows and supports me. But I will never go any further if if would jeopardize what we have.

 

[DennyBTX]

Amen. As I have matured, my sexual interests have broadened considerably. Sex with a man my age and in my situation (married, happily) is the best sex I'm enjoying now.

 

[OldFred65]

I have never experienced this with my wife who is still sexually active, with me and others, at almost 72, but some older guys have told me it is because many older women lose interest in sex so they turn to their buddies to help each other out.

 

[mijbob79]

with you

 

[Harley55]

Amen. As I have matured, my sexual interests have broadened considerably. Sex with a man my age and in my situation (married, happily) is the best sex I'm enjoying now.

Totally agree that as I’ve gotten older my sexual interest has broadened too. Plus if the wife loses interest in sex, I’ve found that sex with a man is very simple and straight forward. No games, just a total desire to please each other. The sex I’m now having with men, which has only been for about 5 years, may be the best I’ve had in years. Never had a better blow job than with my buddy, and he fucks me so so good.

 

[Samisstout]

The older I get the more free I feel to be with men or woman

 

[goodolboy]

As we get older our level of testosterone decrease but the level of estrogen (yes we have both) remains about the same. In essence we become more female based on hormone production.

 

[Delawareguy]

As we get older our level of testosterone decrease but the level of estrogen (yes we have both) remains about the same. In essence we become more female based on hormone production.

A reduction in testosterone might decrease a man's desire for sex but it does not cause a man to desire sex with a man rather than with a woman. Sexual tendencies are not mainly dependent on hormone level. Increasing the testosterone level of a gay man will not make him heterosexual, nor make him desire sex with a woman. Increasing the estrogen level of a heterosexual man will not make him gay, nor make him desire sex with a man.

I think the answer to the question why do older men develop a desire for a "bisexual" experience has more than one simple answer. Some of the the things that might a man desire this are the prevalence and availability of pornography and on the internet, the prevalence of sex-specific web sites (such as this one) and the ability to remain anonymous (and consequently more open and honest about your sexual fantasies and desires) on the internet, and sexual overload and reduced sexual ability (mentioned by more than a few above) probably caused mostly by the first two things.

Also, just because a man wants to have a sexual experience with a man does not mean he necessarily wants to have a romantic, loving and intimate relationship with a man. Most often the guy just wants to know what it is like to suck a cock and finds the idea of that very arousing and erotic. They might even like the idea of being somewhat sub/fem to another man and take a female sexual role with a man and maybe even want to be fucked by a man but I doubt most men who want this would ever want to kiss a man, be romantic with a man, be in a committed relationship with a man or marry a man. Gay men want all of those things, so no, he is not becoming "gay".

I think most men have some curiosity about what is would be like to suck a cock. A man's level of open-mindedness, maturity about himself, sex and sexuality, his personal willingness to explore something others might find wrong or taboo, etc., etc. will contribute to how much a man would want to take that curiosity and have it become a real experience. Having a partner who he can be open with about his desire would certainly allow him to pursue it more. But honestly, I think far more men are able to fantasize about it and talk with others about it on the internet than would ever actually do it. The internet definitely makes both talking about it, and doing it, far more possible and likely.

So it may not be getting older that makes us more willing to "be bisexual". it might simply be the fact that we can all talk about it now, regardless of age.

 

[softail999]

I have recently joined this site and have been enjoying reading the many responses to the question about why older men seem go to bi.
I am 61, been married many years, I love women, love their bodies, love the way they make me feel. I have had sex with several women during my lifetime, some of them before marriage and some after. I am not an expert when is comes to women's bodies, but not a novice either. I am well versed in the pleasures women provides men.
I am a masculine man and still have a very active libido. As I have gotten older, like so many men on this site, my sex life with my wife has all but ceased. I have had affairs with other married women and enjoyed my experiences, but the time and effort to stay discreet became too much. The pleasure was not worth the pain.
My wife is semi retired, she works a couple days a week, I have very little alone time, but when I am alone, I look for sites like Lit and watch porn.
While growing up in the 70's, we had very little access to porn, so with the porn available today, the world looks very different for guys like me. The internet has made watching porn so easy, it has opened my eyes to things I would have never thought about. Like I stated earlier, I know about a woman's body, but I know nothing about another man's cock. I think that's one of the reasons I have started to venture into the world of bi porn. I am intrigued when watching someone suck a cock, to see it ejaculate and throb as it is being pleased. To discover that it turns me on when I look at cocks, so many sizes, shapes, colors.
There are as many reasons as there are people as to why an older man is drawn to the bi world. I will always love women, but maybe one day, I will be able to see what all the fuss is about when it comes to cock.

 

[Cleanshaved50]

Between my wife giving up on sex, my cock at best will get half hard at times(Not often), and jacking off when I can are my reasons for turning Bi. I was always a pussy lover, curious about cock all those years but never tried, and loved dressing fem. My main porn videos were of women getting fucked. My cock won't twitch to them anymore, but it will when I watch gay videos or solo masturbation. Still looking to hook up with someone someday.

 

[Delawareguy]

Between my wife giving up on sex, my cock at best will get half hard at times(Not often), and jacking off when I can are my reasons for turning Bi. I was always a pussy lover, curious about cock all those years but never tried, and loved dressing fem. My main porn videos were of women getting fucked. My cock won't twitch to them anymore, but it will when I watch gay videos or solo masturbation. Still looking to hook up with someone someday.

Sounds to me like your problem is too much porn.

 

[LincolnDuncan]

A lot of guys who posted on this thread start their posts by saying that their wife went cold so they started sucking cock. I'm sure that there is some reality to this assertion but I have to wonder why those guys don't cheat on their wives with women who want to have sex with them rather than a guy who wants to have sex with them.

No judgment, just an observation

 

[mrdiscreetshh]

you start to realize when you choose to be liberal and open minded, you are literally liberated from judgement, so you stop judging your own thoughts and desires and act on them.

 

[Delawareguy]

A lot of guys who posted on this thread start their posts by saying that their wife went cold so they started sucking cock. I'm sure that there is some reality to this assertion but I have to wonder why those guys don't cheat on their wives with women who want to have sex with them rather than a guy who wants to have sex with them.

No judgment, just an observation

I also found it odd that men seek out men as a substitute for sex with their wife, usually claiming their wife last interest in sex. My first thought was why wouldn't they seek out another woman? When I questioned some about it, more than a few men stated women want more than just sex and they don't want the drama or an involved relationship. I'm not sure I believe their reasoning. There are plenty of women out there who are looking for just sex.

 

[LincolnDuncan]

I also found it odd that men seek out men as a substitute for sex with their wife, usually claiming their wife last interest in sex. My first thought was why wouldn't they seek out another woman? When I questioned some about it, more than a few men stated women want more than just sex and they don't want the drama or an involved relationship. I'm not sure I believe their reasoning

There is some merit to that argument but that also holds true for some gay guys who want more than a quicky. There are hookers and topless dancers who do private parties.

 

[CuriousGuyVa]

A lot of guys who posted on this thread start their posts by saying that their wife went cold so they started sucking cock. I'm sure that there is some reality to this assertion but I have to wonder why those guys don't cheat on their wives with women who want to have sex with them rather than a guy who wants to have sex with them.

No judgment, just an observation

It might be the sexless marriage excuse is just a reason to ease the guilt or conscience, or a justification to ease their minds that they realize that they have an interest in guys... finding a woman has to be a hell of a lot easier than a guy.

Like you said, no judgements here either.

 

[OldFred65]

My grandpa, my Mom's dad, became boyfriends with a buddy of his after both their wives passed away. Mom said it was just a thing old men do if they don't want to look for another woman.

 

[Susscrofa]

I also found it odd that men seek out men as a substitute for sex with their wife, usually claiming their wife last interest in sex. My first thought was why wouldn't they seek out another woman? When I questioned some about it, more than a few men stated women want more than just sex and they don't want the drama or an involved relationship. I'm not sure I believe their reasoning

There is some merit to that argument but that also holds true for some gay guys who want more than a quicky. There are hookers and topless dancers who do private parties.

In general, men (heterosexual, homosexual, and everything in between) are much more willing to enter no strings attached sexual relationships than women. And even those women who are into no strings attached sex tend to be much more selective about who they do it with.

If you're an exceptionally suave and handsome young guy, you can go to a nightclub and expect to pick up an attractive woman for a one night stand. If you're an average looking middle aged man, chances are that won't happen on a very regular basis. That leaves hookers or experimenting with homosexuality as options if you just want quick, casual sex.

 

[LisDur]

In my case I simply found myself getting hard watching women sucking cock and realizing that I was turned on by the cock itself. Pure and simply wanted to become a cocksucker.

 

[smtdawg]

In general, men (heterosexual, homosexual, and everything in between) are much more willing to enter no strings attached sexual relationships than women. And even those women who are into no strings attached sex tend to be much more selective about who they do it with.

If you're a every handsome young guy, you can go to a nightclub and expect to pick up an attractive woman for a one night stand. If you're an average looking middle aged man, chances are that won't happen on a very regular basis. That leaves hookers or experimenting with homosexuality as options if you just want quick, casual sex.

Agreed. Unless you are super good looking, famous or maybe in the right place at the right time, there are always strings attached when hooking up with a woman.

 

[OldFred65]

In my case I simply found myself getting hard watching women sucking cock and realizing that I was turned on by the cock itself. Pure and simply wanted to become a cocksucker.

That's almost exactly hat happened with me. I was watching my wife sucking a guy and stroking myself. She saw me and asked if I want to suck him. I was on my knees and sucking in seconds, and she sucked me while I sucked him.

 

[Delawareguy]

I also found it odd that men seek out men as a substitute for sex with their wife, usually claiming their wife last interest in sex. My first thought was why wouldn't they seek out another woman? When I questioned some about it, more than a few men stated women want more than just sex and they don't want the drama or an involved relationship. I'm not sure I believe their reasoning

There is some merit to that argument but that also holds true for some gay guys who want more than a quicky. There are hookers and topless dancers who do private parties.

Even when someone is simply looking for a way to "get off", I doubt most people find sex for money to be a substitute for consensual sex without the financial incentive, heterosexual or otherwise.

 

[cuck72]

We are in our mid 60's, and with me, the thought of sucking off a guy isn't just because my wife has lost her sex drive. It's because I've thought about it for a long time, a few years. I've been so curious, and the fantasy gets me so hard imagining sucking off some of these guys that I know and think about. I still love fooling around with my wife, and love eating her pussy on occasion when she lets me. I love checking out the women more then men, but still masturbate half the time thinking of sucking cock.

 

[Delawareguy]

We are in our mid 60's, and with me, the thought of sucking off a guy isn't just because my wife has lost her sex drive. It's because I've thought about it for a long time, a few years. I've been so curious, and the fantasy gets me so hard imagining sucking off some of these guys that I know and think about. I still love fooling around with my wife, and love eating her pussy on occasion when she lets me. I love checking out the women more then men, but still masturbate half the time thinking of sucking cock.

I knew by age 15 that the idea of sucking an older man's cock was somehow arousing to me. Throughout my life, my interest and desire to do it has never changed regardless of whatever sex life I was having with the woman in my life. My desire to suck a cock is completely separate from my sexual interest and desire with women. One has nothing to do with the other. I do prefer to have sex with a woman and have a great sex life with my wife. I just also find the idea of sucking cock to be arousing.