Why do we like being submissive?

[Goldenfinger]

Cheaper and more fun than therapy.

 

[ears1980]

In submission there is...
...an approval of our value/desirability.
...a release of responsibility for what our inhibitions say is forbidden.
...freedom from anxiety about our performance; we are just there to be used.
...an opportunity in some cases to release the burden and stress of the dominating personality our public/professional lives demand of us.
...a chance to enjoy pleasures our "normal" lives would not afford us.

Very well said!

 

[supercollider00]

In submission there is...
...an approval of our value/desirability.
...a release of responsibility for what our inhibitions say is forbidden.
...freedom from anxiety about our performance; we are just there to be used.
...an opportunity in some cases to release the burden and stress of the dominating personality our public/professional lives demand of us.
...a chance to enjoy pleasures our "normal" lives would not afford us.

Very well said. Being submissive often feels like not having any mask at all, and being able to show (and give) my everything. I do think it also comes from the desire to really please.

 

[newhere2learn]

Cheaper and more fun than therapy.

That to a tee. Every single aspect of my life outside of sex is stressful, I'm in control and it's 24/7. To submit, selfishly, is time for me to think of nothing. Someone else takes over all my choices. My brain switches off.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

In my marriage and home, I am the primary wage earner, highest educated and a small business owner. I consult on laws and regulations.
It is all very serious and I have to be on my A-game all the time.

I never imagined a Dom/sub relationship, but began chatting with a Dom here. It was amazingly satisfying to give in and give up control.

My second Master I met here, and have submitted to IRL.

There is such a wonderful feeling to stretch boundaries, be praised and rewarded and some times even be punished.

My Master's messages excite me to no end.

 

[darkdisquiet]

What do you feel when you are being /humiliated/dominated?
What is the feeling and the aim of being submissive to another person? How does it feel good?

Let's all share our feelings.

I was born this way. There is no being. Also not all submissives like to be humiliated. For me that's a punishment and makes me very unhappy. I love to be needed and wanted. For me, there is no greater joy than being told I'm a good girl and servicing my Dom. That's what makes me happy, knowing he's happy.

 

[Master_Doctor]

I was born this way. There is no being. Also not all submissives like to be humiliated. For me that's a punishment and makes me very unhappy. I love to be needed and wanted. For me, there is no greater joy than being told I'm a good girl and servicing my Dom. That's what makes me happy, knowing he's happy.

Over all, you are the sort of submissive I normally gravitate to naturally. I want to provide structure and make my submissive to feel treasures and wanted 24/7. Good girls are not Brats nor are they SAMs. The sort of sub you are talking about generally are also the very best at anticipatory service. They are also the ones in the community that everyone thinks well of and they always tend to make their Dom/ Master the envy of the group. I have been blessed to know your kind through the years. Cheers

Master Doctor

 

[darkdisquiet]

Over all, you are the sort of submissive I normally gravitate to naturally. I want to provide structure and make my submissive to feel treasures and wanted 24/7. Good girls are not Brats nor are they SAMs. The sort of sub you are talking about generally are also the very best at anticipatory service. They are also the ones in the community that everyone thinks well of and they always tend to make their Dom/ Master the envy of the group. I have been blessed to know your kind through the years. Cheers

Master Doctor

Had to look up the term SAM as I wasn't familiar with it. Nope I don't identify as that at all. I used to be a bit of a brat when I started in my 20's. Not in public however.

 

[cuck72]

I don't know what makes me so hard thinking of being submissive, and humiliated. I'm not like that out side the house, and try acting all manly when I'm out. But then I see a guy's cock bulge and get these on my knees submissive thoughts. I think of being such a sissy bitch. I also would love to be over my wife's knees and spanked, as my wife calls me "a bad little boy." To be over my bosses knees and spanked in his office in front of a couple of the girls.

Nobody I know would EVER! think of me like this.

 

[wallstreetguy]

Different people

I have had many subs over my time. Each is there for a different reason. I think every one of them has told me they never thought of themselves this way until they met me. I do not think I have ever had a sub who had been that way with another man, come to think of it.
Whatever the case, most are drawn to something I have said (or written) and the conversations progress until I realize this woman needs to submit to me, now.
Once we are there, there is no coming back. It is either Dom/sub or nothing.

 

[LustyScribe]

Very well said. Being submissive often feels like not having any mask at all, and being able to show (and give) my everything. I do think it also comes from the desire to really please.

Just came back to this thread; I had lost it for a while. You hit the nail on the head about the mask. I used to see these desires like a "costume" I would want to wear, once, maybe twice. Yet over time, even though I have NO outlet for it, I have come to see that side of me as the real me, and my "normal" life as the facade.

 

[MissDarkKitten]

What do you feel when you are being /humiliated/dominated?
What is the feeling and the aim of being submissive to another person? How does it feel good?

Let's all share our feelings.

Those are the answers I am hoping to find out …

 

[LustyScribe]

Those are the answers I am hoping to find out …

I get that. I have yet to find an outlet IRL. It won't happen in my marriage; she has no idea and really no interest. I have toyed with it in chat just a little, but I really want to know what I would feel at the first strike of a cane or a firm hand. I have divergent desires: to receive corporal punishment (spanking, caning, etc.) at the hand of a woman, sexual submission to a man, and to "top" a woman but more with just control & her submission, pleasuring her & treasuring her all the while. Do I understand it all? Not at all. Would experiencing it clear it all up? Probably not. Nonetheless, I want what I want, or, as Popeye would say, "I ams what I ams! "

 

[Rainydaythings]

.....

 

[sterculius]

Once I accept that I that I must do as I'm ordered, I can avoid any responsibility for my actions. This is very liberating!!

 

[JamesClaide]

it's quite sweet you should try

 

[MissDarkKitten]

What do you feel when you are being /humiliated/dominated?
What is the feeling and the aim of being submissive to another person? How does it feel good?

Let's all share our feelings.

That’s what I’m here trying to figure out, I have never been dominated before and am only now recognizing my true desire to be a sub.

 

[LustyScribe]

That’s what I’m here trying to figure out, I have never been dominated before and am only now recognizing my true desire to be a sub.

Congratulations on your recognition of your need. Many never figure out quite what is missing in their lives, drawing back in denial if they get close to the truth. "NO! It can't be...that." That being said, don't let anybody rush you. A good Dom should be able to recognize the difference between stretching you a bit and pushing you to far. I would bet you there are more than a few good ones on here to help you through the first steps. Good luck!

 

[AlwaysSoaked]

Hello, I'm probably going to repeat some of what has already been said on the subject. I was always shy and a people pleaser, maybe a little bit more with Men then women when I was growing up. My husband is not Dominant and I came here for various reasons. I eventually got a PM from someone and now we have been in a relationship that is strictly online for 6 years. He is an Alpha Dom with so many facets. He recognized that I was submissive by nature and over time that I was the right fit for Him. I had never experienced anything like it before so He has answered about a million questions and did have to train me in the things that He needed most. We do not engage in humiliation or pain, that is not something either of us is interested in. We do talk about fantasies that excite us!
I submit to Him fully by choice. Pleasing Him is my joy. I will do anything for Him and that is very satisfying and fulfilling for Him. His praise and kindness make me glow. He is my best friend, my teacher and mentor, as well as the one I desire above all others. He supports me and has made me the woman I am now - who is a much better, happier and healthier person.

 

[MissDarkKitten]

Congratulations on your recognition of your need. Many never figure out quite what is missing in their lives, drawing back in denial if they get close to the truth. "NO! It can't be...that." That being said, don't let anybody rush you. A good Dom should be able to recognize the difference between stretching you a bit and pushing you to far. I would bet you there are more than a few good ones on here to help you through the first steps. Good luck!

Thank you for your note. Truly appreciate the insight.

 

[alexia34]

Hello, I'm probably going to repeat some of what has already been said on the subject. I was always shy and a people pleaser, maybe a little bit more with Men then women when I was growing up. My husband is not Dominant and I came here for various reasons. I eventually got a PM from someone and now we have been in a relationship that is strictly online for 6 years. He is an Alpha Dom with so many facets. He recognized that I was submissive by nature and over time that I was the right fit for Him. I had never experienced anything like it before so He has answered about a million questions and did have to train me in the things that He needed most. We do not engage in humiliation or pain, that is not something either of us is interested in. We do talk about fantasies that excite us!
I submit to Him fully by choice. Pleasing Him is my joy. I will do anything for Him and that is very satisfying and fulfilling for Him. His praise and kindness make me glow. He is my best friend, my teacher and mentor, as well as the one I desire above all others. He supports me and has made me the woman I am now - who is a much better, happier and healthier person.

I love this and glad you were able to find that person for you.

 

[KimGordon67]

I have a busy life full of responsibility, but I don't think that's linked to my sub tendencies. Sometimes it just calms me. Sometimes it's about the mental struggle - I'm a fairly strong willed person, and submitting to someone is a mental challenge for me, so it's almost goal driven.

Physically, pain just feels good. All the nerve endings are at 100%. I like that

 

[JamesClaide]

to be a greate dominant

 

[Slut2Abuse]

It's like floating on my back in a pool with my arms outstretched and my eyes closed, and he is the water beneath me.

I am untethered, I am entirely vulnerable. And yet, he holds me.

THIS. Yes. Very well put and exactly how I feel.

 

[Justplatonic]

My take on this is... Its tricky to answer... Is it hard wired in to our genetics and how they are expressed? Or is it down to childhood experiences which then define us later in life? Logically, its got to be a little of both IMHO. May be the combination of both solidify whether we are dominant or submissive.