Trending on Twitter right now: Zoom Dick

[Liar]

So yeah, how's your 2020 going?

 

[islandman]

Surprised it took this long to get to that particular faux pas.

Hell, I'm surprised I'm not the one to have done it given that I spent the entire summer in a dress shirt and boxers.

 

[Liar]

The boxers might be the key. Unless you have enough salami that it spills out.

There's been plenty of Zoom shorts and undies.

 

[islandman]

Sometimes it wanders out for a look-see.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Sometimes it wanders out for a look-see.

Like ol' Nessie in Loch Ness.

 

[Aglaopheme]

He did the Toob Snake Boogie.

 

[islandman]

Like ol' Nessie in Loch Ness.

It often has a mind of its own.

Seems to happen more with boxers than boxer-briefs.

 

[islandman]

Seems as though the reporter was masturbating while thinking that he's off-camera, but was really on-camera?

Oh boy.

 

[Wrong Element]

I always did think of Toobin as an expert on the penal code.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

What's the next euphemism for masturbation to come out of this?

"Toobin' the tuber?"

 

[Liar]

Seems as though the reporter was masturbating while thinking that he's off-camera, but was really on-camera?

Oh boy.

During the work meeting?

That is some serious dedication to the hobby.

 

[Wrong Element]

His New Yorker colleagues often wondered if Toobin had his head in the game.

 

[Wrong Element]

Toobin said he was not concerned about being sued: "It will never stand up in court."

 

[Wrong Element]

Everyone was wondering if Toobin would take a leave of absence, but he decided he would stick it out a little longer.

 

[islandman]

During the work meeting?

That is some serious dedication to the hobby.

Perhaps one of his colleagues piqued his prurient interest.

 

[islandman]

His New Yorker colleagues often wondered if Toobin had his head in the game.

Toobin said he was not concerned about being sued: "It will never stand up in court."

Everyone was wondering if Toobin would take a leave of absence, but he decided he would stick it out a little longer.

*ba-dum tish*

 

[Saint Peter]

Do that on your own time.

 

[BrokenBarbie]

The new trend is changing the captions on all the New Yorker cartoons.

 

[StuartV]

This year was very difficult for me, but not the worst.