❓ PLP Inquires❓

[cole4258]

If plp will allow me...
https://voca.ro/owouyLkuYfT

Now that was funny

 

[AngelicaS1780]

If plp will allow me...
https://voca.ro/owouyLkuYfT

That is fantastic. Thank you for sharing.
I kinda love that you have ducks...especially ones who share your sense of humor.

 

[Matthew82]

06.29.20

What is your Lit Code of Conduct? Or do you have one?
How has it evolved over your time on Lit?

Define what you mean by Code of Conduct please.

 

[AlpineFresco]

Code of Conduct? And... nobody made a, "Let me tell you about my CoC" joke yet?

<tumbleweed>

 

[Matthew82]

If plp will allow me...
https://voca.ro/owouyLkuYfT

that is damn funny

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Define what you mean by Code of Conduct please.

Code of Conduct
A set of internal rules or limits for how you interact or post on Lit.
Or really however you want it define it. I like open ended.

Code of Conduct? And... nobody made a, "Let me tell you about my CoC" joke yet?

<tumbleweed>

How... did I miss this??

 

[AbsintheFather]

If plp will allow me...
https://voca.ro/owouyLkuYfT

OMG, that was outstanding. Life can be so funny. You might not have gotten your orgasm that day, but you got a story that you'll have forever. That was great

I think you have to able to laugh in the bedroom. I'da still done ya like a good little dinosaur Raawr


Code of Conduct
1. Don't play with anyone as young as my oldest kid (that's 35 right now). It seems creepy to me.
2. Treat others like I'd want to be treated & be myself. Respect people.
3. Like being yourself, be honest. It's way too hard to keep track of lies or stretched truths. Give honest compliments and don't lead people on.
4. Stay away from drama and be friendly, but cautious.
5. If you're willing to get dirty with someone off the threads, you should be willing to be flirty with them in the threads.
6. Don't be a complainer, be optimistic or stay away for a day or two.


I know there's more, I just can't think of others off the top of my head, and I've fucked up a few times. This can become a sexually and emotionally charged environment. Sometimes I've done things without thinking them through, or the wrong head was doing the thinking or just put my foot in my mouth. In 10+ years you don't come out unscathed. But, overall, it's worked for me.

 

[Matthew82]

Code of Conduct
A set of internal rules or limits for how you interact or post on Lit.
Or really however you want it define it. I like open ended.



How... did I miss this??

Was just curious if there was specifically something you were looking for.

Agree with something I saw already posted:
Treat others as I would want to be treated (pretty much the golden rule right?)
Be respectful
Respect Boundaries - goes both ways
Be upfront
No drama whatsoever
Just be nice

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Was just curious if there was specifically something you were looking for.

Agree with something I saw already posted:
Treat others as I would want to be treated (pretty much the golden rule right?)
Be respectful
Respect Boundaries - goes both ways
Be upfront
No drama whatsoever
Just be nice

You do a fine job

 

[AngelicaS1780]

06.29.20
What is your Lit Code of Conduct? Or do you have one?
How has it evolved over your time on Lit?

Treat other people as I want to be treated.
Remember that it's supposed to be fun.
Be honest, both with others and myself.
Avoid drama when possible.

None of these are Lit-specific, but time on Lit definitely reminds me of their importance.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

06.29.20

What is your Lit Code of Conduct? Or do you have one?
How has it evolved over your time on Lit?

When I first joined I was all in, flooring it in the fast lane, because exploring! But damn, the Lit road has a fuck ton of potholes.

So now I mostly take the footpath.

No, there are no Friday night drag races over here. But there are no five car pile-ups, either.

 

[AlpineFresco]

For me? Keep my walls up. I'm very strict on this. Nobody ever sees my face.

Nobody. Ever.

 

[Xerxes82]

My Code of Conduct:

1. Honesty above all else. I'm not looking to impress anyone. I'd rather you ignore me because I'm boring or unlikeable than not try to be myself.

2) If at all possible, opt for kindness. The universe just needs all the help it can get, online or off.

3) No play. Ever. Seriously. This was a later addition to my rules, and one I've let myself break and every single time it's an utter disaster. I'm not wired for this. I don't trust the communication to keep both parties from feeling used or hurt. And it's never once been worth the fallout. So keep it to flirting.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

https://voca.ro/8SMAQImZT94

Amy & Fara voices.

 

[Ezeerider]

Dirty but Informative

"I like dirty talk, don't love it. During actual sexual encounters, I find it distracting. Not what is said to me, but having to respond, with words. It is like in the moment, I am feeling the moment, focusing on the physical sensations, functioning on just instinct, then damn it, I have to flip that off in order to be able to articulate a thoughts and words. Fuck. I'd really rather just feel, and what sounds that come out will be moans, or growls, or purrs, or screams. Also, I find an intense look, a growl, and an overt sexual action more of a turn on than dirty talk. Not that I don't like "I am going to fuck you like the little slut you are" or whatever. It is the waiting for me to respond "oh yes, fuck me like a naughty little slut, fuck me hard" that is distracting. Now, if it is just a statement of intention, and the action immediately follows, that totally works. I'd rather they not wait patiently for me to try to find a sexy reply.

I am not that good at dirty talk. Again, during sex, I am flat out bad. If I am really enjoying myself, the only actual words will be "fuck yes" and maybe "harder" or "faster". As foreplay, probably low average. I either am speaking honestly, which can feature my brand of awkwardness and likely be a bit selfish, or I am playing a role, which feels awkward, and cheesy, if not a designated role play game. However, there are a lot of really prudish women out there, so at least making the effort probably raises me to like a D+ or C-. It is also hard to say something that would actually really freak me out..."

First, a compliment on a statement beautifully thought out and articulated. Not that it matters to the point of the present discussion, but for me, these are the kinds of thoughts, words and presentation that will quickly open a torrent of traffic between the big head and the small one.

JDWM expressed quite accurately my own thoughts and feelings about the matter, and especially, in short, that I find standard "dirty talk" mostly a distraction, since I too am a total sensualist. That is to say that, like her, my most joyous and satisfying sex is that in which my senses are all working at peak perceptive power, and often, words would only interrupt the flow pouring in from sight, touch, taste and smell, and hearing is most attuned to the subtle or sometimes loud sounds coming from my lover.

Background music can also add much to the moment, depending on the mood and circumstance, but then - and again, this is for me - I don't want to be potentially distracted by the lyrics of a song. For me it's mostly about melody, chording, beat (and you have to be careful there, because beat can be both a huge driver or a major distraction) that winds and blends itself into our mutual mood and movement, but without asserting itself between us.

A large and delicious exception is when my lovers are spontaneously moved to purred or screamed descriptions of what they're feeling at the moment, and the more graphic and descriptive the better. Now that's not only hot, hot, hot, it's so very useful to both of us as well.

As with the poster, I'm just not into something that sounds cheesy or contrived (a total turn-off) and have never understood the attraction some feel or require from role playing. I've always felt it must derive from something missing from the basic natural attraction to, or desire for, your lover. If my senses haven't brought me to critical mass, then I probably should be somewhere else, with someone else.

The rest of JDWM's thoughts, though still beautifully articualted, were largely on her perspective as a woman and an individual, and I found them interesting and informative as well, but of course can't begin to address them on any personal level.

Again, I thank her and the others who posted thoughtful, interesting and therefore useful comments here, and of course PLP who posed the initial question. You are all the reasons I return to this site and enjoy it so very much.

“Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.” ~ Woody Allen

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

3) No play.

Same. No play, and no feels. It leaves me with too much baggage.

And I try to keep the flirting to a minimum.

 

[Matthew82]

I like dirty talk, don't love it. During actual sexual encounters, I find it distracting. Not what is said to me, but having to respond, with words. It is like in the moment, I am feeling the moment, focusing on the physical sensations, functioning on just instinct, then damn it, I have to flip that off in order to be able to articulate a thoughts and words. Fuck. I'd really rather just feel, and what sounds that come out will be moans, or growls, or purrs, or screams. Also, I find an intense look, a growl, and an overt sexual action more of a turn on than dirty talk. Not that I don't like "I am going to fuck you like the little slut you are" or whatever. It is the waiting for me to respond "oh yes, fuck me like a naughty little slut, fuck me hard" that is distracting. Now, if it is just a statement of intention, and the action immediately follows, that totally works. I'd rather they not wait patiently for me to try to find a sexy reply.

I am not that good at dirty talk. Again, during sex, I am flat out bad. If I am really enjoying myself, the only actual words will be "fuck yes" and maybe "harder" or "faster". As foreplay, probably low average. I either am speaking honestly, which can feature my brand of awkwardness and likely be a bit selfish, or I am playing a role, which feels awkward, and cheesy, if not a designated role play game. However, there are a lot of really prudish women out there, so at least making the effort probably raises me to like a D+ or C-. It is also hard to say something that would actually really freak me out. The most commonly heard kind of a turn off phrase would probably be "good girl". Usually, men uttered it as a way to assert control, to put me in my place, such as good girls don't do that or think like that or want that, or be a good girl and go get me a coffee, do what I tell you. I hear the phrase like a neon warning sign to prepare for a fight, either with them or with myself because I need to resist the urge to dump their coffee in their lap. My impulse reaction is an actual audible growl. Then I remind myself about the true intent of the current usage, so I am not annoyed, but I am flustered for a bit. Unless, of course, it is used by the rare partner where we enjoy a more rough visceral sexual style, that is just fucking fun. Most men use the phrase sexually to express a desire for a submissive instruction based play style where they are dominant rather than as a method to evoke a visceral hostile response because we both enjoy more primal power play. I very much enjoy the later, but it is rare to find. The former is sometimes fun as an occasional game, but bores me fast if done too often. Overall, I'd find "bad girl" much more of a turn on than "good girl", unless they are down with getting growled at and bit for it, and will respond in kind.

If I had a fantastically filthy sentence, I'd not be below average. I am ready for notes though. I might lead with something along the lines "oh I just can not wait for tonight, when your cock is in my mouth, because your cock is just the most delicious dessert that I have ever tasted." However, then I feel super cheesy because I am lying, badly. I might as well be saying "blow jobs are just my most favorite thing ever and I do it several times a day, I even stop random strangers just so I can blow them but your totally average cock is the largest that I have ever seen and I am sooo intimidated by it." However, it is not like I am winning dirty talk with "you have been kind of a dick today so I am going to see if I can improve your mood with a blow job so I don't have to keep putting up with your cranky ass. Would you mind if I leave the Food Network on in the background, I want to see what they end up doing with that basket? Then I'll get laid later, RIGHT". At least, I can reign the blow job back into realism by describing my typical blow job technique once I have led into it. I prefer going with my actual thoughts though, so if I am leading, I tend to start with my preferred opening sexual position, maybe "Oh, I just can not fucking wait for tonight, all I can think about is striping you, pushing you down, straddling your cock, and riding you hard." and continue with my feelings, thoughts, what I want. My real dirty talk is very self-centric, as I am sitting there thinking about what gets me off. If I am playing a role, I really want a full character and a costume, with my partner having at least a character too.

This makes a lot of sense. I'm not any good at it, but being a male I feel as though we are not held to the same standard. Internet porn has put women at a horrible disadvantage...the ease of access warps young, impressionable minds as to what men think a woman should act like when that fantasy is not reality at all. I can say that personally encouragement is nice here and there...dirty talk can be fun foreplay...but yeah, like you said, trying to get into talk while feeling the physical and emotional pleasure can take you out of it. I get your brutal honesty, but there's a line between being honest and just being nice to a person you're supposed to like enough to want to be intimate with.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

When I first joined I was all in, flooring it in the fast lane, because exploring! But damn, the Lit road has a fuck ton of potholes.

So now I mostly take the footpath.

No, there are no Friday night drag races over here. But there are no five car pile-ups, either.

What a beautiful metaphor

 

[AveryElle]

For me? Keep my walls up. I'm very strict on this. Nobody ever sees my face.

Nobody. Ever.

That’s some funny shit. At least I still have walls, even if you bitch about it.

 

[Mei5ter]

06.29.20

What is your Lit Code of Conduct? Or do you have one?
How has it evolved over your time on Lit?

I don't know I've ever had a code of conduct, though my behaviour on Lit has evolved as I've come to understand the site better. Early on, I upset one or two people who deserved better from me, and while it wasn't intentional, I could have handled those situations more kindly. I would do better now, I think.

Beyond that? I never initiate PM exchanges, because I'm British, and we won't have been introduced.

 

[AveryElle]

06.29.20

What is your Lit Code of Conduct? Or do you have one?
How has it evolved over your time on Lit?

Early on, I wouldn’t give away any of my info. A few people knew me but knew someone that isn’t me (name, location, etc). And I ghosted some people who deserved better because I couldn’t handle the pressure of always being ‘on’. I would never do that again to anyone and I feel badly about my early behavior when I returned to lit after 15 years away.

Now that I have what is, I guess, a lit partner...I wouldn’t flirt with anyone on here and I would take it personally if anyone did with Alpine. My other relationships won’t take place on lit while I’m with him.

My personal code is to not post my face, my name, or my employer where masses can see them. And for lit relationships, I wouldn’t start one with anyone I wouldn’t make plans with to meet. I have no interest in an online relationship, so I’m not sure if that’s a code or just an interest, though the code may be ‘I won’t be a secret/side piece or not worthy of being seen with in public‘ - that’s an on and off lit code.

 

[Dirt_in_the_Ground]

I don't know I've ever had a code of conduct, though my behaviour on Lit has evolved as I've come to understand the site better. Early on, I upset one or two people who deserved better from me, and while it wasn't intentional, I could have handled those situations more kindly. I would do better now, I think.

Beyond that? I never initiate PM exchanges, because I'm British, and we won't have been introduced.

I think I understand your point of view. When I first came here, I tended to think that many people were looking for a walk on the wild side more than companionship, and I tended to behave more recklessly. In a way that real life relationships usually constrained me from. But now I hope I've grown up a little. It's been a learning process, but I think it's improved me as a person.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

What a beautiful metaphor

Thank you.

I never initiate PM exchanges, because I'm British, and we won't have been introduced.

/gs

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

06.29.20

What is your Lit Code of Conduct? Or do you have one?
How has it evolved over your time on Lit?

I don't know that I have strict rules. I have basic ones. Do your best to be kind. Apologize when you fuck up. Be the same in public and private.

But I did hear a thing that I'm going to start using as a filter on my posts.

Does this need to be said?
Does it need to be said right now?
Does it need to be said by me?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I don't know that I have strict rules. I have basic ones. Do your best to be kind. Apologize when you fuck up. Be the same in public and private.

But I did hear a thing that I'm going to start using as a filter on my posts.

Does this need to be said?
Does it need to be said right now?
Does it need to be said by me?

I like that! Especially that last question, I've been working on that for a while.

I try to think about these, too:

Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it helpful?