Pmann needs a new image: PR for Pmann

[Lord Pmann]

So, if I ever wanna run for office, I need a new image. I mean, I shouldn’t go sticking my dick in inanimate objects, jerking off, saying cunt and drawing pics of penises all the time.

But we all know I’m not gonna stop doing that. So what else could we do to make this hardened shell of a man into something soft and delicate, like a sea anemone’s vagina. Most of you all love me more than your own mothers. But like three of you think I’m a dick.

I’m a ball of clay, people. This is like that scene in Ghost. You are Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore and I’m a glob of brown clay in Your sexually charged hands. I’m listening to your advice. Make me into the best Pmann I can be.

 

[Sweet_Cupcake]

So, if I ever wanna fun for office, I need a new image. I mean, I shouldn’t go sticking my dick in inanimate objects, jerking off, saying cunt and drawing pics of penises all the time.

But we all know I’m not gonna stop doing that. So what else could we do to make this hardened shell of a man into something soft and delicate, like a sea anemone’s vagina. Most of you all love me more than your own mothers. But like three of you think I’m a dick.

I’m a ball of clay, people. This is like that scene in Ghost. You are Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore and I’m a glob of brown clay in Your sexually charged hands. I’m listening to your advice. Make me into the best Pmann I can be.

" . . .sticking my dick in inanimate objects, jerking off, saying cunt and drawing pics of penises all the time. "

It works for Trump, so why not for you?

 

[Lord Pmann]

" . . .sticking my dick in inanimate objects, jerking off, saying cunt and drawing pics of penises all the time. "

It works for Trump, so why not for you?

So you’re saying I could be president?

I haven’t grabbed enough pussies for that. Maybe a senator. I’m not dumb enough for Congress.

 

[default24]

So, if I ever wanna fun for office, I need a new image. I mean, I shouldn’t go sticking my dick in inanimate objects, jerking off, saying cunt and drawing pics of penises all the time.

But we all know I’m not gonna stop doing that. So what else could we do to make this hardened shell of a man into something soft and delicate, like a sea anemone’s vagina. Most of you all love me more than your own mothers. But like three of you think I’m a dick.

I’m a ball of clay, people. This is like that scene in Ghost. You are Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore and I’m a glob of brown clay in Your sexually charged hands. I’m listening to your advice. Make me into the best Pmann I can be.

Fun for office, huh? Is there really any fun in that?
Also, you're Lit's sweetheart how much of a PR change do you need?

 

[ydahecnot]

Cuddle with puppies; stop feeding them to your anaconda

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

So, if I ever wanna fun for office, I need a new image. I mean, I shouldn’t go sticking my dick in inanimate objects, jerking off, saying cunt and drawing pics of penises all the time.

But we all know I’m not gonna stop doing that. So what else could we do to make this hardened shell of a man into something soft and delicate, like a sea anemone’s vagina. Most of you all love me more than your own mothers. But like three of you think I’m a dick.

I’m a ball of clay, people. This is like that scene in Ghost. You are Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore and I’m a glob of brown clay in Your sexually charged hands. I’m listening to your advice. Make me into the best Pmann I can be.

I have a nice room with lots of tools to help in your makeover P. Its soundproof so we wont disturb anyone, or give away any secrets. The floor even has drains, so we can spray them clean of the....hair and nail clippings.

Come join me and I'll make all your troubles go away, forever.

 

[hotwords229_A]

It's all about baby steps. Try masturbating with the door closed and the curtains drawn. See how that goes and then, maybe, you'll be ready for bigger steps like napkins and pretending it was the dog who farted instead of lifting your leg and blasting away for maximum volume.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Fun for office, huh? Is there really any fun in that?
Also, you're Lit's sweetheart how much of a PR change do you need?

That was a Freudian slip/typo, I suppose. I corrected it. But yeah, I presume it's fun. Bill Clinton seemed to have a nice time.

Can't be too hard to be pres. The last guy just hobnobbed his way around for a few years and didn't do fuck all. The one before that just played with Legos and colouring books (maybe he was a little, come to think of it). The guy before that stuck his dick in whatever skirt was around the office that day. The current guy just makes his own weather predictions and grabs bitches by the pussy. I can do all those things.

Cuddle with puppies; stop feeding them to your anaconda

I see. People do like puppies.

I have a nice room with lots of tools to help in your makeover P. Its soundproof so we wont disturb anyone, or give away any secrets. The floor even has drains, so we can spray them clean of the....hair and nail clippings.

Come join me and I'll make all your troubles go away, forever.

Do you have a woochipper? AFAF who is gonna need to get rid of a few... Problems.

It's all about baby steps. Try masturbating with the door closed and the curtains drawn. See how that goes and then, maybe, you'll be ready for bigger steps like napkins and pretending it was the dog who farted instead of lifting your leg and blasting away for maximum volume.

Masturbating with the door closed? Haha. Yeah. Ok. Next you'll be asking me not to cum on the shower curtain anymore.

 

[Apisto42]

I think your image would be improved by throat fucking as many moms as possible and then glazing their faces from six feet away. Like if you posted vids of that, I wouldn’t need to search the internet for erotic smut to jerk to.

That should get you a few votes in the electoral college for sure.

 

[tnman03]

So, if I ever wanna run for office, I need a new image. I mean, I shouldn’t go sticking my dick in inanimate objects, jerking off, saying cunt and drawing pics of penises all the time.

But we all know I’m not gonna stop doing that. So what else could we do to make this hardened shell of a man into something soft and delicate, like a sea anemone’s vagina. Most of you all love me more than your own mothers. But like three of you think I’m a dick.

I’m a ball of clay, people. This is like that scene in Ghost. You are Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore and I’m a glob of brown clay in Your sexually charged hands. I’m listening to your advice. Make me into the best Pmann I can be.

Best advice:

https://i.imgur.com/pNF3NXw.jpg


Hope you don't have motion sickness....

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

I don't see what much you have to change. Maybe wear your ball cap backwards, grow a goatee, have a tooth pick or an unlit cig hangin' from your mouth. But if you really want to change, watch that movie "Get Hard". Might get some good tips there.

 

[ydahecnot]

People love kittens. Stop harvesting them in service of your winter “pimp” coat

 

[Lord Pmann]

I think your image would be improved by throat fucking as many moms as possible and then glazing their faces from six feet away. Like if you posted vids of that, I wouldn’t need to search the internet for erotic smut to jerk to.

That should get you a few votes in the electoral college for sure.

Vids of throat fucking, eh? Hmmmm. I feel like this may be bad advice. I don't know that any other presidential hopeful has excelled due to throat fucking vids. Closest I heard was the rumoured Trump pissing on a Russian hooker vid, but I believe that was fake news. As many hours as I spent searching, I never found it.

Best advice:

https://i.imgur.com/pNF3NXw.jpg


Hope you don't have motion sickness....

Are you telling me to stick my dick in a blender? While I've been known to touch a lot of things with my dick, a blender isn't one.

I don't see what much you have to change. Maybe wear your ball cap backwards, grow a goatee, have a tooth pick or an unlit cig hangin' from your mouth. But if you really want to change, watch that movie "Get Hard". Might get some good tips there.

Are you trying to make me the Bruce Springsteen of candidates?

People love kittens. Stop harvesting them in service of your winter “pimp” coat

But my calico pimp coat makes all the bitches know who's boss.

I am loving the advice. This is my first year I'm eligible to be president, due to my young age. So I'm excited about my prospects.