Lord Pmann Has a Christmas Gift for the “Ladies” of Lit

[Lord Pmann]

Now, I realize that sometimes you ladies get the shaft for Christmas.

Sometimes you just get a shitty gift. Either your damned wiener kids make you some ugly macaroni poster with your name misspelled or your spouse gets you a vacuum or power tool (unless you’re @LadyLascivious1, in which case she’s happy with it).

Sometimes you might not get a gift because you’ve been a little shit all year. I know a few of you like that.

Or you might not get a gift because you won’t shave your damned vagina (@aussiegeekygal, this likely applies to you).

Or maybe you pretend to be a rich, sexy AF executive and you’re really just a weirdo posing as that.

And worst case scenario, you’re married to @Mr_bogey and you just need a good gift to take your mind off of that fact.

Being the progressive guy I am, I wanted to make sure all your hussies got a good gift, whether you are mrs_bogey or you have the bushiest beaver in all the land.

So here you go. The gift you really wanted anyway. This is the kind of shaft you want for Christmas.

https://vocaroo.com/12ZOJHcHiCFW

Special thanks to my creative consultant, Lil Trekka (@Trekka).

 

[morelikeasong]

How did you know what I wanted for Christmas?? Do you have an in with Santa?

 

[Mr_bogey]

Now, I realize that sometimes you ladies get the shaft for Christmas.

Sometimes you just get a shitty gift. Either your damned wiener kids make you some ugly macaroni poster with your name misspelled or your spouse gets you a vacuum or power tool (unless you’re @LadyLascivious1, in which case she’s happy with it).

Sometimes you might not get a gift because you’ve been a little shit all year. I know a few of you like that.

Or you might not get a gift because you won’t shave your damned vagina (@aussiegeekygal, this likely applies to you).

Or maybe you pretend to be a rich, sexy AF executive and you’re really just a weirdo posing as that.

And worst case scenario, you’re married to @Mr_bogey and you just need a good gift to take your mind off of that fact.

Being the progressive guy I am, I wanted to make sure all your hussies got a good gift, whether you are mrs_bogey or you have the bushiest beaver in all the land.

So here you go. The gift you really wanted anyway. This is the kind of shaft you want for Christmas.

https://vocaroo.com/12ZOJHcHiCFW

Special thanks to my creative consultant, Lil Trekka (@Trekka).

Rumor has it you were really happy with the vacuum for Christmas as long as it had the proper attachments.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Please tell me these are your talented fingers twiddling, because that would probably get me to drop trou...

(You can lie)

 

[Lord Pmann]

Please tell me these are your talented fingers twiddling, because that would probably get me to drop trou...

(You can lie)

Of course it was me. I did all the parts. Even vocals. Well, a computer and me.

 

[MindYaBitness]

Of course it was me. I did all the parts. Even vocals. Well, a computer and me.

I've heard you sing...I assumed auto-tune was involved somewhere

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Now, I realize that sometimes you ladies get the shaft for Christmas.

Sometimes you just get a shitty gift. Either your damned wiener kids make you some ugly macaroni poster with your name misspelled or your spouse gets you a vacuum or power tool (unless you’re @LadyLascivious1, in which case she’s happy with it).

Sometimes you might not get a gift because you’ve been a little shit all year. I know a few of you like that.

Or you might not get a gift because you won’t shave your damned vagina (@aussiegeekygal, this likely applies to you).

Or maybe you pretend to be a rich, sexy AF executive and you’re really just a weirdo posing as that.

And worst case scenario, you’re married to @Mr_bogey and you just need a good gift to take your mind off of that fact.

Being the progressive guy I am, I wanted to make sure all your hussies got a good gift, whether you are mrs_bogey or you have the bushiest beaver in all the land.

So here you go. The gift you really wanted anyway. This is the kind of shaft you want for Christmas.

https://vocaroo.com/12ZOJHcHiCFW

Special thanks to my creative consultant, Lil Trekka (@Trekka).

If I admit I think this is awesome and hilarious, how in danger am I of getting random dick in a box pictures flooding my PMs?

And just for clarification, I love power tools. If someone got me a vacuum as a gift, I’d be cranky. Or regift it to you

 

[LadyLascivious1]

@Trekka after your Halloween costume, I expect your music video for this will be forthcoming?

 

[Lord Pmann]

How did you know what I wanted for Christmas?? Do you have an in with Santa?

How did you know to use that girl for a gif?

 

[Indie]

This is the best thing on Lit today. It's soooooo good, that I'm almost not even salty you didn't tag me.

Merry Christmas, darling!

 

[morelikeasong]

How did you know to use that girl for a gif?

Word on the street is that you like vacuums, horses, and Christina Hendricks

 

[jason28053]

Word on the street is that you like vacuums, ponies, and Christina Hendricks

FIFY

 

[Indie]

Word on the street is that you like vacuums, horses, and Christina Hendricks

Don't forget watermelons and hairy vag.

 

[jason28053]

Don't forget watermelons and hairy vag.

A woman with large , a hairy vag, vacuuming while wearing a saddle is his dream date??

 

[crazychemgirl]

Is that all I get? …


I haven’t been this disappointed since finding out @marriedexec wasn’t going to send me some of her riches for my own boudoir photo shoot with another model pretending to be me…

or since @tanjanguar ‘s proclaimed giant cock was really just a Penthouse forum story

or since @LottieDawes informed me that I’m a mean cunt and she doesn’t need lessons on how to post from me

 

[MindYaBitness]

Don't forget watermelons and hairy vag.

Not just hairy, manky & hairy

 

[jason28053]

Is that all I get? …


I haven’t been this disappointed since finding out @marriedexec wasn’t going to send me some of her riches for my own boudoir photo shoot with another model pretending to be me…

or since @tanjanguar ‘s proclaimed giant cock was really just a Penthouse forum story

or since @LottieDawes informed me that I’m a mean cunt and she doesn’t need lessons on how to post from me

Well Lottie Freaking Da!

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I'm almost not even salty you didn't tag me.

I’m wondering what percentage of posts you feel this way about in general?

 

[Lord Pmann]

Rumor has it you were really happy with the vacuum for Christmas as long as it had the proper attachments.

I love a good Dyson. You’re not wrong.

If I admit I think this is awesome and hilarious, how in danger am I of getting random dick in a box pictures flooding my PMs?

Did you get some dicks in your (in)box?

This is the best thing on Lit today. It's soooooo good, that I'm almost not even salty you didn't tag me.

Merry Christmas, darling!

Today? Did you mean ever?

And I didn’t tag you because I figure your vagina isn’t hairy and I assume you were good this year and you weren’t a little shit.

Word on the street is that you like vacuums, horses, and Christina Hendricks

Some of that is true. I do adore Christina. She’s my twin flame.

Don't forget watermelons and hairy vag.

Okay. I was wrong. You are a little shit.

Is that all I get? …


I haven’t been this disappointed since finding out @marriedexec wasn’t going to send me some of her riches for my own boudoir photo shoot with another model pretending to be me…

or since @tanjanguar ‘s proclaimed giant cock was really just a Penthouse forum story

or since @LottieDawes informed me that I’m a mean cunt and she doesn’t need lessons on how to post from me

I’m sorry. There’s no Hairy Pussy in a Pouch song as far as I know.

Not just hairy, manky & hairy

That looks so much like my cat, if my cat was a filthy mongrel and not a majestic, regal beast.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Another hairy pussy thread? I scrolled down to see Pmanns dick.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Another hairy pussy thread? I scrolled down to see Pmanns dick.

I think a lot of people were hoping for that.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I think a lot of people were hoping for that.

I mean there was a whole song about it...


Not sure why but thought this might belong here.

 

[morelikeasong]

I think a lot of people were hoping for that.

If you don’t want to put it in a box, maybe you fancy giving it a twirl for us? If so, I can point you in the right direction. Just saying…

 

[Indie]

Today? Did you mean ever?

And I didn’t tag you because I figure your vagina isn’t hairy and I assume you were good this year and you weren’t a little shit.

I meant today.

And... you're not wrong. My vag isn't that fuzzy and I've been a very good girl.

Okay. I was wrong. You are a little shit.

Love you too!

 

[Indie]

I’m wondering what percentage of posts you feel this way about in general?

Ouch!

Just because I want to know everything and be included in everything doesn't mean...

Oh wait.