❓ PLP Inquires❓

[Mei5ter]

08.31.19

We've talked about warning other people about people on Lit, but would you want to be the recipient of a warning? What kind of behavior is worth warning you about? Do you need warnings or does it matter who gave it to you?

The fundamental problem is that there are people on Lit behaving such that these warnings are necessary in the first place. Why haven't they been kicked off the site?

If you can send a friend a warning that X is a woman pretending to be a man, or that Y has tried to catfish you, wouldn't it be better to send that information to admin or a moderator instead?

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

08.31.19

We've talked about warning other people about people on Lit, but would you want to be the recipient of a warning? What kind of behavior is worth warning you about? Do you need warnings or does it matter who gave it to you?

Well, anyone is welcome to "warn" me about anything, but I won't heed most. A vague one with no story like "he is a dick" might even make me more likely to chat with them, because curiosity and I often like dicks. Some I have had to look at their profile to make sure they weren't my ex or my husband. The he is married, he said I was the only one, he ended it abruptly warnings, well I have zero interest in a committed, monogamous, long term littionship. I do not want that. I will listen to the story, but it is unlikely to alter my path.

Now, I guess, I would want warning about someone in a committed, monogamous, littionship; however with most, it is obvious. It is in their signature or they discuss it regularly. I usually avoid any serious play with those who are, as while I like watching a good drama, I prefer to stay drama adjacent, not in the center of it. but again, that is just me.

I would also want warning if the person gets creeptastically obsessive. I do not want that.

The big one I want warning about and would warn others about, is them having doxed someone or tried to blackmail by threat of outing to a spouse.

I really haven't provided any warnings, but when asked opinions, I happily provide. However, I clarify just my personal take. If someone mentions a person I know to be fake in messaging, I will point it out. I don't usually call out fakes on the boards, though I have on occasion. They really have to just keep coming back to places I frequent over and over. I don't see me ever messaging someone a warning though, as that would require me to be sure they needed it. The dynamics are so flirty in general, it is hard to tell who is serious and in deep.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

The fundamental problem is that there are people on Lit behaving such that these warnings are necessary in the first place. Why haven't they been kicked off the site?

If you can send a friend a warning that X is a woman pretending to be a man, or that Y has tried to catfish you, wouldn't it be better to send that information to admin or a moderator instead?

Well, saying that you are someone you are not is not against the rules of this site, so that shouldn't be a moderator report. Sure, if they upload a pic that isn't theirs, you might be able to get the post removed as a possible copyright violation being stored on the server, but if they link it, there is no violation.

Many people engage in role play here, which in a way, catfishing is a type of role play. As long as they aren't posting links that provide a profit to the user, aren't threatening people, aren't pretending to be minors, and aren't uploading anything that might violate copyright, trademark, or intellectual property laws, then there isn't a rule violation. Honestly, it is probably for the best. We should be able to speak freely, even if that means lying freely. Again, role play is big, and it is hard to draw a line between the two. Then how do we verify we are who we say, will it end up being worse than UK's age id. Do we have to provide government issued id to post? Then will people start reporting trans people as they view the person by the biological gender and not their identified gender. How big does a lie have to be to warrant a ban? Even if the user account is banned, what stops them from creating a new one?

I agree that only a total cuntfalafel assumes a completelly different identity just to toy with people, but it isn't the mods job to censor untruthfulness or even douchbags and cuntfalafel. Part of what makes this forum enjoyable is lower censorship. Hell, I still think some of their rules are too tight. Banning lies is just not feasible. If it matters to you, you can request low level verification tasks before really starting to talk. Like a picture of the left hand holding 2 unrelated objects. That would give you a good idea of gender, age, marital status, and maybe even career type. Or, just a 10 second video chat introduction. I rarely ask for verification, but I was asked several times when new. I think it can be done in a way to not be offensive, just smart, and not too invasive.

 

[Mei5ter]

Hello Justa,

I certainly don't want lots of stupid verification procedures, though other sites do have them.

But I think there is a lot of clear water between catfishing and role play. And between presenting a selective, best version of yourself on the one hand, and blatant lies and deliberate deception on the other.

I can't see how things like fake profiles and stolen amateur pics contribute to a site such as this. I'd rather people here believed that the site tried to weed them out, and I'd hope this might encourage a more active forum with more people confident about posting here.

Just because the site rules are as they are, doesn't mean they can't be improved?

 

[CleverCowardice]

08.31.19

We've talked about warning other people about people on Lit, but would you want to be the recipient of a warning? What kind of behavior is worth warning you about? Do you need warnings or does it matter who gave it to you?

I don't really need warnings, because I barely interact with other people on here, let alone get involved or close enough to where they could hurt me. That said, if some chick was certifiably batshit insane and had a drawer full of severed penises, yeah, I'd probably want to know that. If she's a pathological liar, has a history of playing mind games, or had enough Lit cock inside her to wrap the circumference of the earth twice over, I'd want to know that, too.

Of course, just because I'm warned about somebody doesn't mean I'd necessarily cut ties immediately, or at all. Obviously, I'd consider the source. Does the person actually know the truth of the matter, or are they just spouting secondhand gossip? Does the person have an angle, like jealousy or a preexisting animosity toward the other person? Have they publicly called out the person on the board for their bullshit, or are they only willing to share their opinion in private? Can their accusations be corroborated by other, unbiased parties? I'll heed the warning insofar as I'll more astutely analyze my interactions with that person, keenly considering what they say and do in the light of the information in an effort to suss out the truth for myself, but I'm not automatically swallowing whatever potential bullshit an unvetted source attempts to feed me.

Oh, and while the query didn't ask for this bit, I'll say that I don't give warnings. I can't, in good conscience, warn women about the men here because I don't actually know which guys are legitimate scumfucks and which ones I merely suspect to be such. Plus, I'll always have the ulterior motive of wanting to keep as many women as possible on here single because 1) I may want them for myself, or 2) I don't want them to put their titties/ass/cunt on lockdown out of respect for their relationship. And I won't warn the men about any woman I might have insider information on because...well, let's be honest, no man is ever going to give the tiniest fuck about a warning from another dude. That energy would be better spent punching myself in the dick.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Hello Justa,

I certainly don't want lots of stupid verification procedures, though other sites do have them.

But I think there is a lot of clear water between catfishing and role play. And between presenting a selective, best version of yourself on the one hand, and blatant lies and deliberate deception on the other.

I can't see how things like fake profiles and stolen amateur pics contribute to a site such as this. I'd rather people here believed that the site tried to weed them out, and I'd hope this might encourage a more active forum with more people confident about posting here.

Just because the site rules are as they are, doesn't mean they can't be improved?

Hello Meister,

Well, damn it, now I am rambling off topic on someone else's thread... again. Sorry PLP. At least it is a discussion thread. If I concede that it is possible to draw a black and white line between catfishing and role play, are you so sure that there isn't a significant amount of lit members who want catfishing here? Many adult sites pay men to be many women because having more women makes their site more enjoyable. Even when this is brought to light, men still flock. On lit, there are many men who are very upfront about not caring and happily jack off to the fantasy. This is also demonstrated by how many times a catfisher is called out followed by multiple men trying to get in catfisher's e-panties. Also, the attacks on the person calling them out. The lame personals of 19 year old virgins wanting to fuck 60 year old men. Everyone knows they are catfishing, including the men lining up to play. Catfishing has actually grown to fetish level, both for the people doing the catfishing and for those being catfished. There are sites where men pay to be catfished. Seriously.

If you have publicly called out a catfisher, you know you will be flamed for it. Some because they are pro catfishing, and don't want to discourage it. Some are the men who defend all women, fantasy or real. Those won't flame me as hard because attacking a woman to protect a woman is problematic, but they will flame men. I will get a polite chastising "if you can't say anything nice". Argument being, letting a catfisher play their game is what a righteous person does. It reminds me of the bike theft "What Would You Do?" tv show. It was people watching a thief steal a bike. Male bike thief, people called the cops. Female bike thief, men helped her steal it, because it's polite and chivalrous. My problem with the catfishers isn't the game itself. My problem is with the catfishers using others amateur pictures. Catfishers and trolls run the same game on multiple sites. Yesterday, I pointed out a trolling post was on other adult forums. Catfishers using stolen pictures take them from users on one site they are working and become them on another site. This could be a site with the OPs family, friends, or coworkers. Thus men are arguing the morally correct thing to do is to condone hardship to women, maybe myself, so more dudes can get off with other dudes. Yeah, they'd support the bike thief. Also, don't call it out because if women see women creating drama on a site, they leave that site, never to return. I question this logic though. Most women I know will pull up a chair and make some pop corn while watching drama. Many a female friendship was formed on a mutual dislike of another.

Anyway, my point is, while I dislike catfishers, I don't support banning. I think there is substantial evidence to show that a significant amount of litsters support catfishing or stand indifferent to that form of fetishism. If we say let's ban them, they are weird, what about those bdsm folks, that freaky. Oh, and my god, look at the dd/lg crowd and the symbolism there. Well, then the skinny bitches got to go to too, same symbolism. Well, what about all the fatties in ampics, so annoying and hello, fat, cover up, damn. Obviously, I agree with none of this, but some litsters really do. I can't support the banning of my dislike because I really like flashing my big ass. If I support the banning of one type, eventually it will be my type. I will still call out the picture thieves who stand to close to me, though. People are welcome to call out my big ass if it is where it doesn't belong. What I would support is a catfishing section or subsection. I have no idea what your kink is, but it is probably in your post history, in its section. I don't go all around lit flashing my ass, tits, and pussy. I keep that shit where it belongs. I don't see the bdsm kinks heavily displayed in the playground or the personals. They display in their section. Role play, again in their section. Maybe catfish fetishist on both sides would keep their fetish in the appropriate section. Or maybe unicorns towing glitter coated rainbows will fly out my ass but it would be worth a try.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Justa, your last paragraph had me rolling.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Justa, your last paragraph had me rolling.

Hehe. You are holding your breath waiting for my glittery ass unicorns, aren't you.

 

[DarkSimian]

Hehe. You are holding your breath waiting for my glittery ass unicorns, aren't you.

So are they glittery ass unicorns, or glittery ass unicorns?

 

[tolyk]

So are they glittery ass unicorns, or glittery ass unicorns?

If you have to ask, you likely won't find out the answer

 

[standard1]

do i prefer to be warned? it totally depends on who is delivering the warning. i typically listen to people i trust and ignore the rest, preferring to find out for myself, if i’m so inclined.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

So are they glittery ass unicorns, or glittery ass unicorns?

It shall be a complete surprise, even to me and my ass.

If you have to ask, you likely won't find out the answer

Is there really a preferred answer to this one?

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

08.31.19

We've talked about warning other people about people on Lit, but would you want to be the recipient of a warning? What kind of behavior is worth warning you about? Do you need warnings or does it matter who gave it to you?

I think everyone is a little right here.

I do want opinions from people I trust about new interactions but only so far as they affect my privacy and safety. One person's bad experience doesn't make a bad person. There are people I think are total fucknuggets but are wonderful to my friends so I just shut my mouth. There are people I will defend because they have been truly wonderful to me and made mistakes elsewhere.

Calling out people is not the same as warning someone. A warning is polite "Just so you know..." a call out is more aggressive and generally uncalled for. I've never seen one happen here and been like "Jeez... that guys looks like a real hero!"

I have received warnings about a few people - friends included - and while I haven't always listened - none of them have ever been entirely wrong. I think it's an important topic on Lit because reputation is a lot here. First impressions are a lot here.

I do see people getting butt hurt about how they are perceived or people being warned about them but... actions speak louder than words. If you act like an asshole, people will probably think you're an asshole. If you act needy and unhinged, people will think you are needy. If you act genuine and kind... well... you get my drift.

 

[UgliestSon]

08.31.19

We've talked about warning other people about people on Lit, but would you want to be the recipient of a warning? What kind of behavior is worth warning you about? Do you need warnings or does it matter who gave it to you?

Let me take this opportunity to warn everyone about me. I am kind of a piece of shit. I drink too much and tend to be needy.

 

[standard1]

Let me take this opportunity to warn everyone about me. I am kind of a piece of shit. I drink too much and tend to be needy.

duly noted. thanks for the heads up.

 

[Suz_anne]

... actions speak louder than words. If you act like an asshole, people will probably think you're an asshole. If you act needy and unhinged, people will think you are needy. If you act genuine and kind... well... you get my drift.

Needy, unhinged asshole is precisely the look I've been going for. *fist pump* Nailed it.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Needy, unhinged asshole is precisely the look I've been going for. *fist pump* Nailed it.

Gotta work just a little harder to achieve your asshole quotient.

 

[Xerxes82]

08.31.19

We've talked about warning other people about people on Lit, but would you want to be the recipient of a warning? What kind of behavior is worth warning you about? Do you need warnings or does it matter who gave it to you?

I don't often post in here, but I've been thinking about this one since PLP posted it, and then some of the responses also got the wheels turning.

Never been warned. I don't think I have the kinds of friendships here that are necessarily conducive to being warned. But honestly, I've never really needed it, either. The issues I've had here on Lit are mistakes I've made, or misjudgements I've made, or misunderstandings with folks. Nothing that being warned about would have changed.

I try to deal with everyone here in good faith, and take people at their word for the most part. For better or worse. But I'm a lot less involved than some. Maybe I've just been lucky, in my limited sample size of experience.

I think it's an important topic on Lit because reputation is a lot here. First impressions are a lot here.

I did want to touch on this, briefly. As somebody who has a lot of difficulty engaging with new people, and anxiety issues about social interactions in general, this is one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn about this place.

Early on I spent so much time worrying about how I would be perceived, about what people would think of me. Some of it is the inevitable 'will the cool kids like me?' that emerges in any social environment. Some of it is my own baggage. But it left me filtering my thought processes and editing every potential post or PM until I just gave up and didn't post anything.

It took time and experience, both posititve and negative, to get to a place where I can just shrug my shoulders and more or less be ok with the fact that people will think what they think. That reputation and first impression, which are so important here, will be what they are.

So, while I certainly don't want to engage in, support, or encourage anybody's poor behavior, I do want to encourage everybody to be themselves first and foremost. Who we really are shines through in the end (or drags us down into the muck) regardless of how we might try to hide it. And Lit is a better community, or at least the PG is, when people are being themselves.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

08.31.19

We've talked about warning other people about people on Lit, but would you want to be the recipient of a warning? What kind of behavior is worth warning you about? Do you need warnings or does it matter who gave it to you?

I would be fine with receiving a warning about someone with whom I am interacting on a thread. The type of behavior that I think is worthy of a warning is serious dishonesty and disrespect shown to more than one person. Especially if any interactions occurred in person and not just virtually. I would like to think that I am such a wonderful judge of character that I don’t need warnings, but I know that I have made a couple significant misjudgments over the course of my life. Of course, a warning from someone I know would likely carry more weight than from someone with whom I have not interacted.

 

[Karabare]

08.31.19

We've talked about warning other people about people on Lit, but would you want to be the recipient of a warning? What kind of behavior is worth warning you about? Do you need warnings or does it matter who gave it to you?

Oh! I received a warning recently. I have to say i was rather surprised, as I had no other plans than observing a thread. In my case, I probably don't need a warning but really, you can never be to careful. It definitely matters who gives the warning.
Ladies, we've got to look out for each other but I can almost certainly say I would not give a warning. I wouldn't even realize there was something going on to warrant it. Not out of malice, simply minding my own business.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

08.31.19

We've talked about warning other people about people on Lit, but would you want to be the recipient of a warning? What kind of behavior is worth warning you about? Do you need warnings or does it matter who gave it to you?

I'd just like to add, the best advice I've got on Lit was essentially, "A little post stalking goes a long way." Its amazing what you can find out about a person by their posts. It means i need fewer warnings, because I can identify jerks, twatwaffles, homophobes and people with objectionable opinions myself.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

09.03.19

Same Sex Friendships on Lit

How important are they to you? Are they harder to make because of the nature of the site. Girls seem to have it a bit easier. Is that just the nature of women to make friends a bit easier or... other reasons. Discuss!

 

[AlpineFresco]

09.03.19

Same Sex Friendships on Lit

How important are they to you? Are they harder to make because of the nature of the site. Girls seem to have it a bit easier. Is that just the nature of women to make friends a bit easier or... other reasons. Discuss!

Hmm. I don't have any male Litsters I'm close with (but I generally have more female friends than male anyway, I'm not sure why but that's how it's panned out so far). There are some I like and I'd have a beer with, but here? I think people tend to be guarded about personal details, and (I'm aware I'm painting with broad brush strokes here) guys aren't usually so great talking feelings. And even when we are good with it, perhaps we broadly feel we are taken less seriously with other guys. That said, I'm down to change that - it's always good talking to interesting people, and if someone's a known quantity I'd also (possibly) be okay letting a wall or two down so communication is easier.

 

[tolyk]

09.03.19

Same Sex Friendships on Lit

How important are they to you? Are they harder to make because of the nature of the site. Girls seem to have it a bit easier. Is that just the nature of women to make friends a bit easier or... other reasons. Discuss!

To me, it isn't about friendship on Lit. I know most people aren't on here for friendship. But, I do look at whether someone is willing to talk to someone of the same sex, even casually on the threads. Ignore all the men above you to post to the one woman who posted lately on a game thread? Yeah.. I'll likely never speak to that person. I'm also openly pansexual, and I think that makes some men uncomfortable. But who knows.

For the most part, I'm willing to talk to anyone that wants to talk, about any subject. I've got male and female friends here, and many of them are important to me. Though many of the men that I'm friends with have left Lit and I've got them on Facebook or email.

 

[CleverCowardice]

09.03.19

Same Sex Friendships on Lit

How important are they to you? Are they harder to make because of the nature of the site. Girls seem to have it a bit easier. Is that just the nature of women to make friends a bit easier or... other reasons. Discuss!

They aren't important to me at all. But, yeah, if I were looking for male friends online, I'd be more apt to seek them out on a forum where I'm less likely to see their dingus.