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Kinks We Don't Understand: DD/lg (First in a series)

Okay granted I have only skimmed the thread so perhaps I missed it but it seems that a lot of people are assuming that any D/s relationship (and by extension a DD/lg) is sexual in nature. While sex can be a part of it, not all D/s relationships involve sex. I have known quite a few that don't involve it in any way whatsoever. Beyond my husband I have never been in a venture that involved sex and yet I have had a few tops. I knew one service sub that all she did was clean her Dom's house. And I have known a few littles that have had a DD and didn't have sex.

So I think the first thing (if you are truly looking to understand the dynamic) is to separate out those littles that have a romantic/sexual relationship with their DD from those that don't.

Another thing I would point out is for people to think about the sugar baby/Daddy Warbucks thing. How often do you see older men with women 20-30 years younger? And how often are those relationships a bit patriarchal/paternal in nature? A younger woman being spoiled and doted on by a much older man.

Now I'm not claiming to fully understand the dynamic but keeping those 2 points in mind has always helped me to at least not be so squicked when I see the dynamic being played out.
 
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Most questions were answered, but they keep being asked.
Maybe, if you're struggling, walking away and saying "I'll never understand' would be the grown up thing to do.
 
MrPractical said:
I read this...It made me laugh.

I laughed...You are a funny little man..I laughed
Click to expand...

A daddy called me a little. Not quite sure how I feel about this. :confused:

*tries on a onesie*

barefootgirl69 said:
Most questions were answered, but they keep being asked.
Maybe, if you're struggling, walking away and saying "I'll never understand' would be the grown up thing to do.
Click to expand...

Hmmmm. The littles got their diapers twisted and claimed there was so much judgment because we just don’t understand.

So, a thread starts with lots of useful information gets started. You know, in order to understand. We don’t take it to your thread. We do it in a separate place so you can have some safe space. As far as I know, no one has gone in and interrupted that. We are having constructive conversation and the only person/people who are making it not constructive are Daddy Practical. Dark Simian tried to “woe is me” himself, but that’s just for some pity pussy. He was fine enough.

Some of the shit you littles like is confusing, so we ask for clarification. Some of you come and try to explain yourselves and it muddies the waters more, especially when you play dumb about stuff. That’s okay, as some things are hard to articulate. However, you’re being Condescenderella with your last post. And I’m okay with you being condescending. It’s my love language. But don’t get bitchy when people try to understand, after you’ve bitched about people not understanding. Because we don’t understand it the first time, should we just stop asking? Because what it seems like to the Regulars is that you don’t want us prying and asking questions. Like all kinks, it falls on a spectrum. Most of us understand that. But if you cannot appreciate that some of your distinctions are thinner than a mozzie’s dick, then you’ll never understand why people think your shit is confusing and weird.

SassySheDevil said:
Okay. Walking away. Thank you all. ⚘
Click to expand...

If you’re interested in the thread, don’t leave. I see no reason to leave. The irony of BFG telling someone to act as an adult is delicious. She hasn’t participated here, so I don’t know why the hell she would care what we discuss here.

Moochie, Jada, RA, MaBelle (and maybe I’m forgetting others) have all provided excellent feedback. I’m not saying I agree with it all. I don’t. But they’re at least representing the group or a segment of the group well.
 
ShyNaughtyGirl said:
Can we just agree to stop picking apart and dissecting every nuance of someone’s post? Or stop trying to understand every facet of a kink because it will never make sense to everyone

I really glad Moochie’s experiences make sense to you and that she can share her experiences in a way that you can understand. Not everyone can

She doesn’t speak for me or for anyone else that may be into any form of dd/lg play

I believe some people genuinely wanted to learn more just for the sake of learning but it’s become rather clear that kinks can’t be fully explained to the satisfaction of everyone involved

Lit is a public adult forum and yes things we post in public open the door for anyone to comment on them but does that ever mean it’s okay to make someone feel stupid for something they like?
Since when is getting your feelings hurt and getting defensive about that a joke?

There were some good things said here and I’m glad for the discussion. But now every time I post I’m second guessing it and wondering who is going to be tearing apart everything I post and making a joke of it just because of a “kink” I’m into


For me, and just me, this did far more harm than good.
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May I ask why you feel this did more harm than good? Other than the daddy who came in last night, it has been a good conversation. I don’t think Moochie has been attacked. I don’t think anyone has been. I’ve learned a lot about this whole thing. It isn’t for me, but I do find it interesting.

And why wouldn’t we be dissecting the pieces of a conversation where we are trying to find the difference between age play and doing the things a child would do, but not considering it age play? If that’s a claim that the littles make, expect people to ask questions.

I made the original comment that I thought you were weird because of your postings. Nothing said here has really changed it. But that’s okay. You can be weird. I can be weird. I still fail to see how you can’t find humour in the suggestion of “stomping and flouncing about” in order to get your frustration out. Your refusal to admit that’s funny AF just makes it hard to take you seriously.

Moochie’s experiences actually make the most sense. One daddy. One little. I suspect you have multiple daddies and that’s just hard for me to understand. I don’t quite get it, especially with what you described.

I don’t think anyone has torn the kink apart here. At all. But why not toughen up a bit and realize just because someone is asking questions about something you say, doesn’t mean they are ripping you apart? You said you didn’t realize there were different elements of age play in being a little. Sorry, but that’ll throw some red flags up and people are going to want to ask more. Maybe you won’t be able to articulate it well. But just try. Use your words. It’ll be okay. No one here is waiting to bash you. Not even me.
 
The overall gist of what I’ve read here from the last few days is that those of us on the outside looking in at the little’s dialog all have differing interpretational views of it. I also recognize that those living that lifestyle all have the same differing interpretational views as well. Objectively, as with other BDSM Kinks, this is learn as you go kink. People peruse available kink literature and hang out with like minded people for further information. The problem with this is the inherent bias and personalities involved. Arrogance and ego have already proven apparent. No matter how you present it this is not something you are being taught or are learning from totally reliable source material. So for lack of a better word those of us mundanes who don’t get it probably never will.
 
I think tone is missing. When I ask my questions, I’m asking in a neutral or interested tone. I’m trying to write it as such, simply.
 
Lord Pmann said:
A daddy called me a little. Not quite sure how I feel about this. :confused:

*tries on a onesie*



Hmmmm. The littles got their diapers twisted and claimed there was so much judgment because we just don’t understand.

So, a thread starts with lots of useful information gets started. You know, in order to understand. We don’t take it to your thread. We do it in a separate place so you can have some safe space. As far as I know, no one has gone in and interrupted that. We are having constructive conversation and the only person/people who are making it not constructive are Daddy Practical. Dark Simian tried to “woe is me” himself, but that’s just for some pity pussy. He was fine enough.

Some of the shit you littles like is confusing, so we ask for clarification. Some of you come and try to explain yourselves and it muddies the waters more, especially when you play dumb about stuff. That’s okay, as some things are hard to articulate. However, you’re being Condescenderella with your last post. And I’m okay with you being condescending. It’s my love language. But don’t get bitchy when people try to understand, after you’ve bitched about people not understanding. Because we don’t understand it the first time, should we just stop asking? Because what it seems like to the Regulars is that you don’t want us prying and asking questions. Like all kinks, it falls on a spectrum. Most of us understand that. But if you cannot appreciate that some of your distinctions are thinner than a mozzie’s dick, then you’ll never understand why people think your shit is confusing and weird.



If you’re interested in the thread, don’t leave. I see no reason to leave. The irony of BFG telling someone to act as an adult is delicious. She hasn’t participated here, so I don’t know why the hell she would care what we discuss here.

Moochie, Jada, RA, MaBelle (and maybe I’m forgetting others) have all provided excellent feedback. I’m not saying I agree with it all. I don’t. But they’re at least representing the group or a segment of the group well.
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Like any thread. When you ask questions and people get pissy. It makes you not want to ask those questions any longer. You ask a lot of the questions that I was curious about. Yes they did get answered. But there was also very conflicting answers. So it just confuses me more. I will wait to ask those questions and similar questions for the day when moochie and I can meet. There have only been a couple of people that could answer the questions without getting upset or offended. Since she is one of them I will save that for a very interesting conversation when her and I can get together.
 
Imma throw a temper tantrum the likes of which hasn't been seen lately if we don't just all agree that we don't agree and move on ..

^That's me being a brat, in case clarity was needed.:D

 
SassySheDevil said:
Like any thread. When you ask questions and people get pissy. It makes you not want to ask those questions any longer. You ask a lot of the questions that I was curious about. Yes they did get answered. But there was also very conflicting answers. So it just confuses me more. I will wait to ask those questions and similar questions for the day when moochie and I can meet. There have only been a couple of people that could answer the questions without getting upset or offended. Since she is one of them I will save that for a very interesting conversation when her and I can get together.
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We should do something to pamper ourselves while we have this discussion...like eat a delicious meal we don’t have to cook ourselves and get pedicures after. 💜
 
She hasn’t participated here, so I don’t know why the hell she would care what we discuss here.*

This irony is rich.
You didn't partipate in DLG, why would you care what we discussed there?

Like you, I am free to go to any thread I choose. Unlike you, I don't just go to make fun of them.

It's been brought up why we are defensive. Because you attacked and ridiculed. You aren't sincerely questioning as others are. No one is obligated to answer your questions only to be ridiculed, or at all. Do you do that on the streets, or just behind a monitor?

Moochie gave of her time and her personal experience, as have several others...but their answers are never going to satisfy a mind that's already been made up.
 
The shame of this was the first part of this thread was extremely interesting.

Then the dead horse started getting beaten.

Now for a rant:

Pmann, you have a talent for asking insightful questions, laced with venom.

You asked in point #2 last night why daddies weren't posting in this thread...and posited that all of them were fucking around with multiple women, so they daren't show their faces. How exactly was that supposed to "inspire" someone to speak that hadn't spoken already - it was clear what your opinion of said people already was.

If I were able to speak on any given topic - that kind of prodding isn't going to inspire me to respond - quite the opposite. I would think most others would feel the same.

I can't speak for any Little...they're quite capable of speaking for themselves, but I imagine the same is true of them, especially since you've intimated the same of littles at various times over the past few pages - stringing multiple daddies along. So that level of suggestion of personal impropriety isn't exactly inviting civil discussion.

But you knew that. Since that is what you do here...stir the pot. You're clearly intelligent, and speak well. Which oft times is all that separates you from others who more feebly troll. Congrats on completing grammar classes with good grades.

/end rant

From the outside looking in - dd/lg is a way broader term than anyone may have appreciated before this thread started. Everything from simply soft d/s bordering just unusually affectionate "vanilla" relationships to full-on age play.

At this point, this all would be best stipulated and everyone move on.
 
lurkingguy1978 said:
The shame of this was the first part of this thread was extremely interesting.

Then the dead horse started getting beaten.

Now for a rant:

Pmann, you have a talent for asking insightful questions, laced with venom.

You asked in point #2 last night why daddies weren't posting in this thread...and posited that all of them were fucking around with multiple women, so they daren't show their faces. How exactly was that supposed to "inspire" someone to speak that hadn't spoken already - it was clear what your opinion of said people already was.

If I were able to speak on any given topic - that kind of prodding isn't going to inspire me to respond - quite the opposite. I would think most others would feel the same.

I can't speak for any Little...they're quite capable of speaking for themselves, but I imagine the same is true of them, especially since you've intimated the same of littles at various times over the past few pages - stringing multiple daddies along. So that level of suggestion of personal impropriety isn't exactly inviting civil discussion.

But you knew that. Since that is what you do here...stir the pot. You're clearly intelligent, and speak well. Which oft times is all that separates you from others who more feebly troll. Congrats on completing grammar classes with good grades.

/end rant

From the outside looking in - dd/lg is a way broader term than anyone may have appreciated before this thread started. Everything from simply soft d/s bordering just unusually affectionate "vanilla" relationships to full-on age play.

At this point, this all would be best stipulated and everyone move on.
Click to expand...

Well said LG. You would think respect,decency and maturity would be easy qualities for an adult to display, obviously it's doesn't come as easily to some as it does to others or doesn't keep you in the spotlight long enough.
Nice to see there are still decent, sincere, respectful people around
 
It's like different people are <gasp!> different.

I've like a good discussion as much or more than most people (see my plea for Dd/lg AudioPhiles participants) but I do think it's important to remember - you do not have to explain yourself or your kinks to anyone but your partners.

As someone who identifies as subby with a load of other freaky kinks, I like discussing things publicly to a point and then there are things that are just better when they are held close. I just see a lot of people making themselves vulnerable for people who don't appreciate it because they can't imagine that vulnerability. That's not a knock. Not everyone has those places that subs and, I imagine, littles have.

Anyway, you guys are doing great for the most part. I just want you guys to guard your hearts.

Carry on! <sits down and shuts up>
 
Spitting.

I don’t get it. Anyone else find it arousing or even just interesting. Err...from the mouth I mean.
 
barefootgirl69 said:
She hasn’t participated here, so I don’t know why the hell she would care what we discuss here.*

This irony is rich.
You didn't partipate in DLG, why would you care what we discussed there?

Like you, I am free to go to any thread I choose. Unlike you, I don't just go to make fun of them.

It's been brought up why we are defensive. Because you attacked and ridiculed. You aren't sincerely questioning as others are. No one is obligated to answer your questions only to be ridiculed, or at all. Do you do that on the streets, or just behind a monitor?

Moochie gave of her time and her personal experience, as have several others...but their answers are never going to satisfy a mind that's already been made up.
Click to expand...

Or the irony that every other time I post something similar to this about a topic or a person, you’ve PMed me telling me how funny it is and how much you enjoy it. You would never openly say it. But this is true. Yet now, when I laughed at something near and dear to you, you cry foul.

My mind is not made up. I’ve had a lot of information given to me here that I truly appreciate, from those whose names I listed above. I have changed my thoughts on a couple of things. I’ve defended your right to do as you choose. I’ve even gone farther than (nearly) anyone else here has and said that I think the age play between two consenting adults is fine, even though it makes me uncomfortable.


lurkingguy1978 said:
Pmann, you have a talent for asking insightful questions, laced with venom.

You asked in point #2 last night why daddies weren't posting in this thread...and posited that all of them were fucking around with multiple women, so they daren't show their faces. How exactly was that supposed to "inspire" someone to speak that hadn't spoken already - it was clear what your opinion of said people already was.

If I were able to speak on any given topic - that kind of prodding isn't going to inspire me to respond - quite the opposite. I would think most others would feel the same.

I can't speak for any Little...they're quite capable of speaking for themselves, but I imagine the same is true of them, especially since you've intimated the same of littles at various times over the past few pages - stringing multiple daddies along. So that level of suggestion of personal impropriety isn't exactly inviting civil discussion.
Click to expand...

To be clear, my point number two was a theory, not a question. And the distinction is important- I’m not just splitting hairs. I wasn’t asking a loaded question. I was stating what I felt to be true and my observation on it. Moochie seemed to think I was on to something and agreed. I cannot be the only one who finds it a bit odd that only one daddy showed up here and he didn’t even bother to read the question before he speed his narrative. Do you think my theory is invalid? There is a worrying trend that when someone posts something someone dislikes or disagrees with, it must be shot down. This is a discussion forum. We are discussing.

This thread has been great. Other than my initial comment that started it, where I laughed at something people still do not choose to acknowledge as funny, I have been polite and respectful to anyone appropriately responding to questions. I’ve asked a lot of questions. And I have more. It seems that others have more. I realize Moochie doesn’t speak for every person’s experience. But right now, she’s a pretty eloquent representation of the group.

I think coming in here and trying to shut down the conversation is the equivalent of what you (not lurkingguy specifically) accuse me of doing. Sassy says she feels like she can’t post without people getting pissy or getting their feelings hurt. People still have questions. I’ve found this far more fascinating than I thought. The discussion was going just swimmingly. Let’s try to get back to it, not stop it for fear asking a question might hurt someone’s feelings.
 
indiesoul said:
I think you say it best right here, while recognizing all elements of the spectrum and not pretending, like some Domly Domalots, that other parts don't exist.

This thread has been incredibly insightful for me and I appreciated all the responses until last night when someone came in with the apparent intention of just making others feel small who questioned him. You guys who have stuck through this are rockstars and have no reason to not have your head held high. It definitely takes some thick skin to answer questions that are so intimate and close to your heart. It's fine if you can't do that, either. We all have our limits. This just might not be the place to be when that's the whole intention of the thread... questions for a kink that others don't understand.

I have learned the most from the discussions that have focused on both what DDLG includes as a whole and then the personal experiences from those brave enough to share. I know that I could never ascribe to a label before first understanding it thoroughly and then seeing which parts of it pertained to me. I appreciate those of you that have helped me understand this one. :rose:
Click to expand...

This!!!

Can we have a thread on identifying wannabe Doms???
 
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