Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

Has been going around his neighborhood planting pansies in people's flower beds to spread good cheer!
 
He blitzed a pet store and freed all the animals within. Most escaped safe enough, but the fish didn't fair too well on the sidewalk.
 
Fell into a barrel of scotch, and while he could have simply stood up, he chose to drink his way out.

likes to wear six pair of underwear to start the week, take one off each day and then go Commando on Sunday.
 
Action News Alert: Hobo living under the boardwalk connected to several pet thefts. Story at eleven. What? We already ran that story? Can we say he's now attacking people and eating them? Yeah, like a zombie. Okay, cool.

THIS JUST IN: THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US. RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!
 
fell asleep on the beach while 6 kids covered them in sand and they couldnt get out

Likes to scare visitors from the city by covering herself with fake blood, holding a big knife and declaring she is one of the original Children of the Corn.
 
It has been found out that the worlds first successfully cloned human, known as Model DeckardNYC, has actually been cloned twenty times over. If you spot one near a post, call 9-1-1 immediately.
 
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