DarkSimian
RONIN
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2011
- Posts
- 29,487
Nominated to be the next Attorney General.
THIS JUST IN: DeckardNYC named as suspect in the Lindburgh kidnapping
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Nominated to be the next Attorney General.
Escape from the zoo.
arrested while attempting to board a plane while insisting him and his emotional support goat should be permitted to board and screaming "do you know who I am?"

Accidentally killed a man when her airbags deployed![]()
narrow escaped an attack by a "florida woman" muttering something about airbags.
Shot a skateboarder on her front lawn. Goddamn kids!
Donated 500 half smoked cigars to the Boy Scouts.
Decided to help make New York City a better place by moving to Florida.
Arrested for holding up a "show your tits" sign at the opera
Hurrricane got her.Nabbed by Good Morning America to sing for a week in his underwear for national TV
Hurrricane got her.![]()
Launched an expedition through the Nevada desert to find Area 51.
Arrested when child services found out that "beltway" is his method of child punishment.
Urinating on the subway. Like, literally, on it.
Turned his rating breasts thread into a business and it just went public
He created the world's thinnest potato chip. They're so light and airy, they've been known to fly away.
Prime suspect in the largest catnip heist ever.
Discovered a one-shot cure for AIDS, which immediately led to millions of strangers fucking in the streets.
Is marketing a new brand of Duck Soup.
She's lead singer in a revival of The Ohio Express.
Released a shocking study showing that Simon and Simon weren't brothers in real life, only on television.![]()
Broke the world's record for most tomatoes eaten in one hour.
This just in: Deckard was bitten by a radioactive lesbian and has attained the powers of lesbianism. He now fights crime as the masked vigilante Lesbiana. Join us at six for an exclusive interview.