❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[cookiecat]

To tired for quote and parse by phone.

It may be true that some things are easier with alternative relationships, but they invariably come with a host of problems for which people with a "typical upbringing" will not be prepared. You are most prepared for a relationship that mimics your parents, however horrifying that may be.

Percieved advantages to alternative relationships don't bear fruit if all parties aren't already up to the challenge of a difficult relationship.

The one advantage I think that can be said for alternative relationships is that they provide a bold face justification for the tired refrain that 'communication is key.' It is. And yet; at end of the day when you're tired and just want some leave me the fuck alone time, communication can be a hard pitch to sell.

This struck a familiar chord.

At my best, my submission centers around service. But I'm usually not always at my best and - as someone who deals with depression, trying to find the right words to say I don't have the energy or the spoons or whatever to speak words or move, communicating effectively is tough.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#29

#29 (submitted)

Let's Lighten Up

"What was the funniest thing that ever happened to you in a kink based encounter, or what was the funniest thing you heard of?"

 

[midwestyankee]

#29 (submitted)

Let's Lighten Up

"What was the funniest thing that ever happened to you in a kink based encounter, or what was the funniest thing you heard of?"

Over the course of several months a lover and I grew our relationship from friendship to something stronger over a long distance. Finally, we found a way to meet for a long weekend together so I arranged for a hotel room where I sometimes stayed on business trips. We had been together once a few years earlier and knew that this time the heat would be turned up to eleven. When we met at the hotel it was already mid-afternoon but we both needed lunch, which seemed to take forever. Thank the deities for the room and comfort of business slacks!

By the time we got to the elevator we could not keep our hands off each other and we rushed to our room with blood rising in all the right places. Within just a minute or two she was on her knees and I was praising all the deities like a one-man Greek chorus. No more than moments before she had me at that place of no return, we heard a knock on the door. A knock on the door that was only ten feet away, accompanied by a voice calling out my name and the words “a gift from the Front Desk.” Fuck!

I stood up, shouting “Be right there” and got myself zipped and mostly respectable-looking. She did her best to do the same. We both had been quite rushed to get down and dirty, but fortunately no buttons or zippers had been harmed in the production. When I answered the door, a nice young man said he was delivering my complimentary supply of bottled water. I tipped him a quick fiver and fairly slammed the door in his face before returning to my perch at the end of the bed. Some time later, after re-launching our weekend together with panache and a greatly-appreciated first finale, we enjoyed bottles of water and a great laugh.

 

[cookiecat]

#29 (submitted)

Let's Lighten Up

"What was the funniest thing that ever happened to you in a kink based encounter, or what was the funniest thing you heard of?"

My nose used to be pierced and I wore a little diamond stud. Super cute and cool, right?

Not so cute when during my very first encounter with my very first real life, in person, cock deep down my throat Dominant, the little stud got stuck in his amazing crop of pubic hair.

It was an unplanned predicament bdsm scene! Every time I came up for air, I could feel the stud tug and I knew if I pulled up too far, it would yank at his hair, so back down I went.

I kept wiggling my head back and forth, which he kept thinking was a "no". I added a new move to my bj repertoire.

Geez louise.

It was supposed to be a no hands worship service but as he started to cum, I put my hands on his pubic bone (hahah. not boner. AROUND the boner) and gently messed with his hair/my stud and got it untangled.

Honestly, it wasn't like he was a sasquatch in terms of hair.

 

[wicked woman]

Over the course of several months a lover and I grew our relationship from friendship to something stronger over a long distance. Finally, we found a way to meet for a long weekend together so I arranged for a hotel room where I sometimes stayed on business trips. We had been together once a few years earlier and knew that this time the heat would be turned up to eleven. When we met at the hotel it was already mid-afternoon but we both needed lunch, which seemed to take forever. Thank the deities for the room and comfort of business slacks!

By the time we got to the elevator we could not keep our hands off each other and we rushed to our room with blood rising in all the right places. Within just a minute or two she was on her knees and I was praising all the deities like a one-man Greek chorus. No more than moments before she had me at that place of no return, we heard a knock on the door. A knock on the door that was only ten feet away, accompanied by a voice calling out my name and the words “a gift from the Front Desk.” Fuck!

I stood up, shouting “Be right there” and got myself zipped and mostly respectable-looking. She did her best to do the same. We both had been quite rushed to get down and dirty, but fortunately no buttons or zippers had been harmed in the production. When I answered the door, a nice young man said he was delivering my complimentary supply of bottled water. I tipped him a quick fiver and fairly slammed the door in his face before returning to my perch at the end of the bed. Some time later, after re-launching our weekend together with panache and a greatly-appreciated first finale, we enjoyed bottles of water and a great laugh.

That's one way to learn to remember to use the 'do not disturb' sign, Yank.

 

[midwestyankee]

That's one way to learn to remember to use the 'do not disturb' sign, Yank.

A memorable lesson, indeed.

 

[AlpineFresco]

#29 (submitted)

Let's Lighten Up

"What was the funniest thing that ever happened to you in a kink based encounter, or what was the funniest thing you heard of?"

An ex's set of metal claws... first time I put them on wasn't part of play, but just because I'd not encountered anything like this before and she was showing me her box of toys. "Oh, they look sharp," I said, as I closed my hand and accidentally drew blood.

I certainly wasn't wrong, and they were a bit too sharp for me to feel all that comfortable using.

 

[AlwaysFara]

#29 (submitted)

Let's Lighten Up

"What was the funniest thing that ever happened to you in a kink based encounter, or what was the funniest thing you heard of?"

To me? Going over 40 mph over the train tracks, my mouth to his balls.
First time I got throat fucked, by default.

Runner up? Sucking his cock under the table while he was on the air and not realizing that a crowd had gathered in front of the picture window of the studio. A very enthusiastic crowd.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

Not sure if either of these funny to anyone but me & the people involved but hey here it goes

At one point I was working for a well known retail chain and a cute red head had approached me and shown some interest so of course I was game. She was very short, maybe 5'1" and a little on the curvy side, but helluva adorable. Well we started timing our breaks and lunches to get a little "relaxation" in during work. One day, we had sneaked out to the car, and she had climbed on top of me in the backseat. During the vigorous bouncing I lost my grip on her waist and she kind fell backwards between the front seats. Her back was resting on the center console and I was still inside her. I didn't really want to stop, so I just leaned over to her and said "perfect fit" and kept up the pace. That became a fan favorite position after that and on the plus side kept my seats clean

a two-for

My first girlfriends after high school and I had just started seeing each other, we were talking then we were kissing then hands and well then we were a thing for a minute. But, being the horny little freaks we were, we had convinced my buddy to drive us around while we fooled around in the back seat. But I was doing my earnest best crammed into the floor board her legs wrapped around my head when we stopped at a red light. I looked up because I heard my buddy clear his throat and staring down at us was this little old lady looking down into the car. Me being the cheeky bastard I am just looked back and smiled and continued.

 

[barefootgirl69]

#29 (submitted)

Let's Lighten Up

"What was the funniest thing that ever happened to you in a kink based encounter, or what was the funniest thing you heard of?"

Other than falling off a bed? This is why I like being tied, safety purposes!

So...we were visiting my parents before heading to Germany for a few years. Everything was packed, but I wanted to be tied. All we had were nylons. After, we left them tied to the legs, scooted them under and, the next morning, took off to the store.

We came back and were getting these strange looks, but the only comment was, "Your mom vacummed your room this morning. Better get that stuff untied from the bed before you go. It doesn't need to be there for three years."

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

Other than falling off a bed? This is why I like being tied, safety purposes!

So...we were visiting my parents before heading to Germany for a few years. Everything was packed, but I wanted to be tied. All we had were nylons. After, we left them tied to the legs, scooted them under and, the next morning, took off to the store.

We came back and were getting these strange looks, but the only comment was, "Your mom vacummed your room this morning. Better get that stuff untied from the bed before you go. It doesn't need to be there for three years."

That is awesome! On a off topic note, I will never get tired of hearing the phrase. "I wanted to be tied"

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

These are fantastic.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#29 (submitted)

Let's Lighten Up

"What was the funniest thing that ever happened to you in a kink based encounter, or what was the funniest thing you heard of?"

So one night early on into a relationship, I was giving a long and thorough blowjob. He was laid on his bak on the bed and I was laid between his legs. As he got closer, I sped up a little bit and kind of lifted my torso up - which was a mistake. It meant that when he came hard, he jerked his knees up into my ribs effectively knocking the air out of my lungs and leaving me seeing stars. Poor guy, he didn't know and was enjoying himself but I was really really hurt. I ended up having two big bruises under my tits for weeks and I remembered to pin his legs down from then on.
Not necessarily BDSM related but - there was choking, there was pain - it had it all!!

**Sorry I missed last week. Life got a bit complicated. New question up tomorrow!!**​

 

[Paul_Chance]

PLP - I can segue right off of that.

I once had a lover who was extremely ticklish - and I knew this. She was tied to the bed (arms spread to the bed posts) and I was moving to blindfold her with a long scarf. I accidentally trailed the scarf across her abdomen and BOOM

She reflexively twisted and brought her knee up violently to get away from the tickle.

Fortunately, it did not hit the old family jewels - but instead caught me right in the thigh. It was as clean as a kick-boxing move, knocked me to the side and I fell off the bed. I had a bruise about the size of my extended hand for a mouth.

LOL - once I got up off the floor it was pretty funny and she was entertained by my limp for a month. (Hmmmm, I suddenly wonder who was the Sadist and who was the Masochist in that relationship.)

 

[PuckIt]

#29 (submitted)

Let's Lighten Up

"What was the funniest thing that ever happened to you in a kink based encounter, or what was the funniest thing you heard of?"

So, my delicate flower was stretched out on the couch on her back servicing me while I half stood, half knelt beside the couch. One foot on the floor and one on the couch beside her so she would have easier access.

I felt something on my balls, but just figured it was her hand.

Until she pulled back and looked and burst out laughing.

Skeezix, our long-haired cat, had come to see what was going on.

NOT the pussy I had in mind!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#30

#30 (submitted) (I can't believe we made it to 30!)

Masturbation
Have you masturbated in front of a partner? Have you masturbated a partner to the point of cumming (doing nothing else but masturbating)? Have you shared your fantasies or your porn with a partner? Have you ever tried mutual masturbation with no penetration?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

#30 (submitted) (I can't believe we made it to 30!)

Masturbation
Have you masturbated in front of a partner? Have you masturbated a partner to the point of cumming (doing nothing else but masturbating)? Have you shared your fantasies or your porn with a partner? Have you ever tried mutual masturbation with no penetration?

Yes. No, no, no.

 

[AlwaysFara]

#30 (submitted) (I can't believe we made it to 30!)

Masturbation
Have you masturbated in front of a partner? Have you masturbated a partner to the point of cumming (doing nothing else but masturbating)? Have you shared your fantasies or your porn with a partner? Have you ever tried mutual masturbation with no penetration?

Yes to all, but hard fail on the last one.
I can’t watch him do that without needing him inside me.

 

[AveryElle]

Yes to all. To some, an enthusiastic yes

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Lol maybe I should tack on "and how did you feel about that?" To the end of the question...

 

[AlwaysFara]

Lol maybe I should tack on "and how did you feel about that?" To the end of the question...

You should.

It’s hard for me to be open.

It feels vulnerable. It’s easier to touch him than touch me for him. That’s totally open.
That’s what I want, though. That’s what feeds me. To know he’s watching me do what i do when it’s just me and me is one of the closest ways I can show him love.

 

[AveryElle]

Yes to all. To some, an enthusiastic yes

Lol maybe I should tack on "and how did you feel about that?" To the end of the question...

Alright....
There are different situations where these things happen. I’m not 100% sure what is meant by ‘have youvmastebated a partner to the point of cumming’’ Means besides a hand job.

There are situations where I’ve been told to do it so they can watch, and then they join in. And then the times when it just naturally happens, say when you’re making out and your hand wanders. Those are very different. The former is a lot more difficult for me because I’m not confident enough to just be on display. It usually has happened with some social lubrication, and even in my most subby moment (vs just being a masochist), I cringe when someone wants to see THAT much of me. Do I do it? Yes. But it all goes back to self esteem, or lack of. A few old fashions, however, make it easier.

Oh Christ that makes it sound like I’m an alcoholic. I am anything but, so the context for that would be that I’ve likely been flirty with the person so feel a bit ready to go, and inhibitions are lowered.

If any of those makes sense. I’m tired!

 

[Bramblethorn]

I recall DVS had some great stories to tell in this vein. A whole thread of them around here somewhere.

In one of the few I can remember at all, some IT guy finds himself locked in a leashed collar at work, and fast talks his boss into believing (or going along with) it being some kind of experimental electrostatic discharge prevention.

I remember that one! Not from here, though, I saw it somewhere else.

Me, funniest time: my partner was tied spreadeagled on a four-poster bed, completely naked. I had to pee all of a sudden, so I stepped out of the room for one moment (right next door, still in earshot).

Our spaniel picked that moment to come charging into the room, jump up on the bed, lick her face all over while she screamed in outrage, and then he ran off again, all in a few seconds. Like he'd been waiting for his moment for the perfect drive-by.

 

[PuckIt]

#30 (submitted) (I can't believe we made it to 30!)

Masturbation
Have you masturbated in front of a partner? Have you masturbated a partner to the point of cumming (doing nothing else but masturbating)? Have you shared your fantasies or your porn with a partner? Have you ever tried mutual masturbation with no penetration?

“Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.”
― Woody Allen, Standup Comic

Ok, so this wasn't exactly what Mr. Allen was talking about. But, I hope that I can be forgiven for misappropriating the quote once I say what I have to say.

The thing is, Mr. Allen was incorrect in his basic premise. Masturbation, at least in the form of solo exploration, isn't about sex so much as it is about glandular production, release, and gratification.

Now, people are individuals. And not everyone who masturbates is going to do it the same. Frankly, I remember being very confused when my blushing bride first explained to me that when she masturbated, she didn't actually think about anything or anyone beyond what she was feeling. The physical sensations. That just didn't make a whole lot of sense to me because right from the very first time I experimented with wrapping my hand around my shaft and sliding it up and down in a tentative manner, I was imagining what it would feel like to be in a pussy. And, from there, a specific pussy. So, how the hell could you get anything out of it just focusing on what you were feeling rather than trying to fantasize about something? Or someone?

But, the thing is, she was fantasizing about something. In a way. She was fantasizing about the feelings. And, eventually (or so I was told), she started to fantasize about me as I was the only person who had managed to unlock those sensations she experienced during masturbation while having sex.

Any road, as usual, I have wandered a bit off the topic. But, have I really?

See, the way I see it, solo masturbation is very much an egocentric activity. It's all about our own wants, desires, needs. It's very much about "getting off." Sex, on the other hand, there is usually at least some interest in the other person's wants, desires, and needs unless you are extremely self-absorbed. Think about it. Even worrying about how you look... Do you really care about how you look while you are all alone in a dark room with your hand between your legs looking for that magical moment? Of course not! You only care about that when there is someone else there to see you.

So, masturbating with someone else is sort of trying to take that egocentric activity across the line into a sexual activity involving someone else. And that alone can interrupt the usual flow and make what is generally a self-gratifying moment into a self-conscious one. In other words, shit gets out of hand (if I may be forgiven the pun).

Having said all of that, frankly, this is one of my hard requisites for someone wanting to be sexually involved with me. And has been for... oh, hell... (pulling off boots to keep counting)... um... thirty-two years? Thirty-one? Fuck. However long. I have to be comfortable enough with them to masturbate in front of them, to let them really see me. All of me. And they have to trust me enough, be comfortable enough with me, to masturbate for me, to let me see them without any walls.

Have you masturbated in front of a partner?
Yes. I have. It wasn't exactly comfortable the first time. Or even the first time with each new partner I've done it for. But, for me, it was one of the integral aspects that had to be explored. Could I be comfortable enough allowing them to see me without any walls or screens or filters, who and what I am at the core of me.

Now, my most recent face to face partner had a serious thing about just sitting back and watching me. She wanted to be involved in my satisfaction. Which... Well, let's just say that was it's own reward, watching her squirm and plead where she was bound spread-eagled on her back (back as the only time we tried it face down, the little turkey ground herself against the mattress!) as I masturbated over her, looking at her from every angle, even going so far as to rub my cock on her and yank it out of her reach when she would try to catch it with her mouth as I rubbed it across her face, with her sweet pussy as I teased her there, or with her hands as I came close, but not quite, within reach as I rubbed myself all over virtually every inch of her body, murmuring to her the entire while that it was because of her that I was so incredibly hard. That it was because of her that oily precum was leaking along the length of my shaft. That it was because of her that I was having to fight to keep from cumming.

And, that probably falls under the heading of TMI for some, so I'll just move right along to the next facet of the question. But, yes. I've masturbated for, with, and to a partner(s).

Have you masturbated a partner to the point of cumming (doing nothing else but masturbating)?

This one rather threw me off also. But, I determined that what was being asked was if we'd ever masturbated our partner to point of cumming. In my case, jilling her off using only my hands. No vibrators. No tongue. And no cock. (mumble-mumble) years ago, I would have asked, "Hasn't everybody?!" But, I've misspent a great deal of time between then and now studying up on the subject. And, apparently not.

Any road, yes. I have.

In fact, there is a certain part of me that gets more satisfaction out of this effort than anything else, even after all this time. Not that I'm knocking any other aspect of sex. Oh, no. Far, far from it. In point of fact, there is very, very little that I haven't explored and not much more I wouldn't again with the right partner.

But, there is something inherently magical, to me at least, in standing over my (usually bound) partner and working her body with my hands. Caressing every inch of her flesh, inside and out, as far as I can reach, with varying degrees of firmness. Searching. Questing. Driving. Playing her body like a fine musical instrument until I press her to the crescendo and wring the siren song of her passion from her throat and the cascade of her pleasure from her delicate flower.

And then again.

And then again.

And then again.

Until she is nothing but a sodden, creamy mess of expended wanton desire, the insides of her thighs hardly coated more with her sweet nectar than her cheeks with her drool as I have driven her mind beyond pleasure into calm emptiness.

And there I went again, oversharing. And, besides, I'm not a hundred percent sure that I even understood the intent behind the question.

Have you shared your fantasies or your porn with a partner?

A long, long time ago, I heard the adage that there are three things you should never discuss with anyone you aren't particularly close to; politics, religion, and sex. Er... Or maybe that was just in the workplace?

Whatever.

Any road, I have always found it utterly fascinating that the last is the only one people will clear their browser history rather than risk the person they are actually having sex with finding out! What the everloving fuck, people?! If you can't do all the things you want with this person, why in the hell are you settling for someone you can only do some of it with?!

In other words, "Hell, yes. I have shared my fantasies with, and explored pornography with, my partners." I just don't see how anything real can be achieved if you don't share your fantasies with the person you are looking to in order to make them become a reality.

Having said that... ***sigh*** Yeah. I have had that bite me a few times. Ninety-nine percent of them, once I got past the disillusionment of losing them, I was actually glad. Because if my fantasies bothered them, then they weren't right for me.

The last... Well. Let's just say that just as it is incumbent on me to share my fantasies with anyone who we want to see if it can be made to work between us, so it is incumbent on them to admit if they have a problem with some of those fantasies prior to becoming so far entangled that it would take legal fees to disentangle. I kept up my end. She didn't. Or maybe her views changed. I don't know.

Any road, yes. My view is that a completely open and honest (and sober!) discussion of sexual fantasies should be held between partners if they are wanting to become anything more than just two virtual ships that pass an evening or two between the rocks and shoals of sexual gratification. How else can we determine if we are an appropriate fit?

Have you ever tried mutual masturbation with no penetration?

Ah! This was... actually a bit problematic to achieve with the partners that I attempted it in a face to face interaction with. I have the will-power and endurance to hold back and not engage more fully in the moment. They... Well, I haven't had a partner that could when we did attempt this without some training to it.

My blushing bride... Well, she was definitely all about the instant gratification. Which was really rather humorous since she'd never (or so she told me) managed an orgasm during sex with anyone else before me. And, as with every addict, once she felt the possibility, she didn't want to not experience the reality when we could.

And, yes. There was a certain amount of what others have explained. That it was... hmmm... easier for her to focus on me than to allow me a full and unadulterated view of her? That there was a certain amount of discomfort in being that open with me, without any walls at all?

Yeah, so, I have managed it with a few partners. And, for me, it was an incredible moment, each and every time that we did manage it. The total and complete surrender of themselves, letting me see them naked, not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well. Giving themselves totally and completely to me. And accepting me fully and completely in return.

And... yeah. I did what I always do and rambled on and gave more information than was actually asked for, or probably desired. IF I even answered the questions in all that.

Just in case I didn't (and for all the TLDR types); Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes.

And I need to get the Puck off the floor and let someone else have it to clean up whatever I've Pucked up.

***wandering off to find some porn of someone masturbating to masturbate to and pretend it's a mutual desire kind of thing***

 

[Paul_Chance]

#30 (submitted) (I can't believe we made it to 30!)

Masturbation
Have you masturbated in front of a partner? Have you masturbated a partner to the point of cumming (doing nothing else but masturbating)? Have you shared your fantasies or your porn with a partner? Have you ever tried mutual masturbation with no penetration?

I’m four for four on this one.

Here is kind of what I think about part of the nature of sexuality. Pretty much if you can imagine it, then it is somebody’s fantasy and fetish.

On the masturbation threesome: I’ve had several partners over the years for whom masturbation, in one form or another, was their primary fetish. I’ve certainly indulged, including some pretty imaginative scenarios. (There is also the added component masturbation being about the safest form of sex you can have with a stranger, so I might’ve hit it more times than usual due to a relatively high number of random encounters.) Though we focus on BDSM here, in my opinion the masturbation variations are just as powerful a fetish and just as prevalent.

As for the sharing of porn and fantasies – again, that’s a whole fetish itself, with many dedicated practitioners. If it brings you happiness and sexual pleasure, have at it with a vigor.