Paul_Chance
The Watcher
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2011
- Posts
- 22,097
The Evolution of Kink - Paul's Story
The Evolution of Kink - Paul's Story
So, I was thinking about this question and wanted to respond, but life intervened and I never had the chance to follow through with my thoughts. Better late than never!
I divided the evolution of my kink into different era's.
The Pre-Awakening Era: From the start of my sexual activity into my early twenties I only had a peripheral awareness of kink. Though I had some great sex, it lacked any of the elements of kink, other than a preference for more primal, hard-fucking, sex. In hindsight I can see the "seeds of kink" were present - I enjoyed man-handling lovers, physically directing them, and pinning them down by the wrists, but it wasn't the focal poiint of the sex. The focal point was just the sex. Everything else was a means to an end, with the end being fucking.
The Awakening Era: This was in my mid-twenties, when I was introduced to BDSM and more kinky sex by a set of lovers. Now, I think in this era it wasn't so much that I learned kink, I think that kink was always there, but it was the awakening of it and the expression of it - bondage, dominance, swinging, rough sex, pretty much the whole spectrum.
The Flowering Era: This ran from from late twenties through my early/mid forties. It encompassed a pretty wide variety of experiences in the realm of kink, combined with a deliberate seeking out of kinky/BDSM/unusual sexual encounters and relationships. It was during this period that I spent a lot of time in the BDSM community, either here or abroad, living for a significant period in a D/s relationship and being an active participant in the larger social environment that surrounds BDSM.
The Golden Era: By the time I hit my late forties, I could say with confidence that anything I had wanted to try, I had tried. Here is where my focused shifted out of the BDSM community. (I loved the community, so don't get me wrong, but this was also where my general bullshit tolerance level fell to zero, LOL. There is, unfortunately, a lot of BS in the BDSM communities - a lot of damaged people, a lot of predatory behavior, and a lot of unnecessary drama.) Now, I tend to seek out individual relationships, with the emphasis on the whole person of the relationship, where sex plays a crucial part, but is not the most important part, or even the significant part. Fortunately, within my general age range, there are a lot of people who have came to the same conclusion - lets have the good and kinky sex, without the bullshit. I consider this the golden era because I'm happy, I'm healthy, and in relationships - either long term or short term, there is a level of openness and honesty that is very satisfying.
Now, there was a lot of overlap in the era's. They weren't clean and crisp. They are just general. There was a some serious kinkery in different eras, and relationships that involved minimal kink or soft kink at various times. There were bits of wisdom that popped up early and bits of stupidity on my part that manifested late. I'm sure I am going to find previously un-encountered layers of kink as my journey continues. We always change. We always evolve. There is no perfection. There is no mountain top. There is no destination. There is only the journey from cradle to grave, filled with ten thousand changing things. Enjoy the journey.
The Evolution of Kink - Paul's Story
So, I was thinking about this question and wanted to respond, but life intervened and I never had the chance to follow through with my thoughts. Better late than never!
I divided the evolution of my kink into different era's.
The Pre-Awakening Era: From the start of my sexual activity into my early twenties I only had a peripheral awareness of kink. Though I had some great sex, it lacked any of the elements of kink, other than a preference for more primal, hard-fucking, sex. In hindsight I can see the "seeds of kink" were present - I enjoyed man-handling lovers, physically directing them, and pinning them down by the wrists, but it wasn't the focal poiint of the sex. The focal point was just the sex. Everything else was a means to an end, with the end being fucking.
The Awakening Era: This was in my mid-twenties, when I was introduced to BDSM and more kinky sex by a set of lovers. Now, I think in this era it wasn't so much that I learned kink, I think that kink was always there, but it was the awakening of it and the expression of it - bondage, dominance, swinging, rough sex, pretty much the whole spectrum.
The Flowering Era: This ran from from late twenties through my early/mid forties. It encompassed a pretty wide variety of experiences in the realm of kink, combined with a deliberate seeking out of kinky/BDSM/unusual sexual encounters and relationships. It was during this period that I spent a lot of time in the BDSM community, either here or abroad, living for a significant period in a D/s relationship and being an active participant in the larger social environment that surrounds BDSM.
The Golden Era: By the time I hit my late forties, I could say with confidence that anything I had wanted to try, I had tried. Here is where my focused shifted out of the BDSM community. (I loved the community, so don't get me wrong, but this was also where my general bullshit tolerance level fell to zero, LOL. There is, unfortunately, a lot of BS in the BDSM communities - a lot of damaged people, a lot of predatory behavior, and a lot of unnecessary drama.) Now, I tend to seek out individual relationships, with the emphasis on the whole person of the relationship, where sex plays a crucial part, but is not the most important part, or even the significant part. Fortunately, within my general age range, there are a lot of people who have came to the same conclusion - lets have the good and kinky sex, without the bullshit. I consider this the golden era because I'm happy, I'm healthy, and in relationships - either long term or short term, there is a level of openness and honesty that is very satisfying.
Now, there was a lot of overlap in the era's. They weren't clean and crisp. They are just general. There was a some serious kinkery in different eras, and relationships that involved minimal kink or soft kink at various times. There were bits of wisdom that popped up early and bits of stupidity on my part that manifested late. I'm sure I am going to find previously un-encountered layers of kink as my journey continues. We always change. We always evolve. There is no perfection. There is no mountain top. There is no destination. There is only the journey from cradle to grave, filled with ten thousand changing things. Enjoy the journey.
JK JK, don't hurt me crucify me yet.
