❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[barefootgirl69]

This has always been a problem.

How can I be expected to focus on a schoolgirl spanking scene when there’s an incorrectly solved equation on the blackboard?

And do we ever to get to see the repair man fix the washing machine? No.

And I’m sure some of the nurses aren’t following approved procedures.

The equation on the blackboard would definitely be a distraction!

But.. I was referring to the acting, not the scenario. The sounds. Sounds get to me more than visual things.

 

[barefootgirl69]

#12

Online & Real Life Kink
Let's talk people exploring their kink online only and those people who live a lifestyle.
How are you exploring your kink at the moment and in the past?
If you fall in only one category, how do you feel about members of the other category? (I.e. If you are living a 24/7 D/s relationship, could you imagine being online only? If you are online only, do you ever want to transition to real life?)

This is certainly not meant to be an us v. them question. Everyone has different restrictions, desires, and availability, but there does seem to be a different level of thought that goes into someone who's strictly online and people who venture into the meat space.

This questions was inspired by the episode of AudioPhiles! Check it out.
And I need more questions guys!

I am finally getting around to answering this. Sorry for derailing your thread with all the porn posts.

I have had both, though most recently everything has been online, LDR. Each type is different in so much as physical touch, some of the activities that just can't be done long distance. Each are thrilling in their own way. Neither is any less real in terms of commitment, feelings, and being involved in each other's lives.

One day I do hope to have it all in the physical realm again, but for now I am content with what I have.

 

[Bramblethorn]

This has always been a problem.

How can I be expected to focus on a schoolgirl spanking scene when there’s an incorrectly solved equation on the blackboard?

You reminded me of one of my favourite porn-related sites: http://blackboardsinporn.********.com/

(the censored word is b l o g s p o t).

 

[Mei5ter]

You reminded me of one of my favourite porn-related sites: http://blackboardsinporn.********.com/

(the censored word is b l o g s p o t).

That’s just brilliant! Love it!

 

[cascadiabound]

#11
Body Image (stolen)

Bringing this question from another thread but I'm curious how the kinkier among us will answer.

When it comes to sex/kink how do you feel about your body? When it comes to sex/kink, does it affect how you feel (e.g. size, age, race, disability, gender, etc)
Do you feel like your body type is portrayed or portrayed accurately in porn? Does it bother you? Have you ever seen something represented in a way that made you rethink an attraction?

I have read what everyone else has said about this and for a long time I thought I would pass on this question, feeling like I did not have much to say.

I guess I do not expect to be portrayed accurately in porn, any more than I would expect to be portrayed accurately in high fashion. I do not particularly care for video porn, I like still images, and even better, written erotica where my mind can create the scene and I am not distracted by the math formula incorrectly solved on the blackboard and the nurse breaking sterile protocol.

I am at ease with my body pretty much, it works, and it takes care of me in spite of not being as young or thin as it was when I was younger and thinner. I never was a skinny girl, but while I have often described myself as zaftig, I am not fat or chubby either. So. Idk. I definitely have things I am self conscious about, (why do we all feel so self conscious about our tummies?) but I am probably more prone to feel self conscious about my not so cute features or what sometimes feels like excessive body hair. But then... is that just how I feel about it and not really anything to be worried about? Ugh. Body image is complicated.

Porn has made me rethink my ideas about body hair management - how much I shave and where I shave, it has made me think about and fantasize about things I would not have thought about otherwise (certain kinds of piercings or humiliation play) and I have probably gotten a better visual appreciation for tattoos as a result of porn. Oh... and I have a lot of lingerie envy.

 

[midwestyankee]

#12

Online & Real Life Kink
Let's talk people exploring their kink online only and those people who live a lifestyle.
How are you exploring your kink at the moment and in the past?
If you fall in only one category, how do you feel about members of the other category? (I.e. If you are living a 24/7 D/s relationship, could you imagine being online only? If you are online only, do you ever want to transition to real life?)

This is certainly not meant to be an us v. them question. Everyone has different restrictions, desires, and availability, but there does seem to be a different level of thought that goes into someone who's strictly online and people who venture into the meat space.


I come at this from a hybrid angle: I've had a relationship in which we spent far more time apart than together, but which was not really exclusively online/LDR or in-person at any time. Yes, that may be confusing, but no, there won't be a Director's Cut with commentary. I've also done online/LDR only so I do have some comparison to work with.

All things being equal, I prefer in-person kink but in its absence I can still be happy and satisfied. As control matters a great deal to me, being able to control someone at a distance is not at all unsatisfying. However, the sex is soooo much better when your partner is close enough for all practical purposes.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

This seems right to me.

I also view this topic as a continuum rather than as an either or dichotomy.

I sustained a LDR for many years over many miles and time zones and sometimes across different continents without benefit of cell phones, computer connections or video chats which eventually became a face to face 24/7 marriage sometimes with a high level of kink.

These days for lots of reasons, much of my kink life is pursued in an LDR format. As others have said, it is real. Everything about it is real. Feelings, life, communication.
I work hard at it. There is give and take and it evolves. Sometimes it is highly kink focused, sometimes it is barely about the kink at all. Just like life.

What side of anything do I wish for? I have what I have. Life is too short for would coulda shoulda. I feel blessed.

This is a fine philosophy for all sorts of things. Hard work, continuum and counting blessings.

OK, I find it hard to sustain politically in a time of democracies ruled by would-be despots pounding away at centuries of civic foundations. But that’s stuff we can talk about at another time.

*biggest grin*

Well, go big or go home, right?!

Also, go kinky or eat a stale Twinkie.

I bet it's true too!

Shhhhhhhh! Actually, is it a question for another thread? “How obsessed are you with your kinks? How dependent on them are you to get aroused or get off?”

And yeah, it’s self-reinforcing. The more you orgasm while focusing on a kink, the more your brain ‘n’ body say, gimme.

This has always been a problem.

How can I be expected to focus on a schoolgirl spanking scene when there’s an incorrectly solved equation on the blackboard?

And do we ever to get to see the repair man fix the washing machine? No.

And I’m sure some of the nurses aren’t following approved procedures.

Oh yes. Thank you.

This is so true for me. Barefootgirl mentioned bad acting, and that is a dilemma. If someone who is seemingly about to orgasm doesn’t care, when why should I? And there are so many other things that detract from my porn-viewing pleasure, thank you for asking.

Let’s take amateur porn: what the FUCK is up with the pet birds? I cannot focus on you riding your special friend’s erect member when that fucking cockatoo is screeching dinosaur insults behind you.

Know what else? Blaring, shitty local TV action weather or the waning minutes of the 2015 Sabra Roasted-Pepper Hummus Bowl rocking the darkness over your bobbing shoulders doesn’t arouse anyone - it just makes everyone desperate to fuck a mute button.

Also, your apartment is a goddamned landfill. Throw some dirty clothes in the closet before you memorialize your throbbing genitals for generations yet unborn.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

I don't normally watch porn, but there are times that I do... and I do think "I wish I was her" --- but only because of the action.

Most porn isn't realistic to me, mostly because of poor acting.

I recently recommended to a friend watching a 70s porn flick called "Barbara Broadcast". Great acting, an actual ( if a bit sparse) story, natural attractive people (no silicone, lipo, wax...) and hot sex. It should have won an Oscar!. It's on Pornhub.

This has always been a problem.

How can I be expected to focus on a schoolgirl spanking scene when there’s an incorrectly solved equation on the blackboard?

And do we ever to get to see the repair man fix the washing machine? No.

And I’m sure some of the nurses aren’t following approved procedures.

I'm with you on the equation. The Porn Industry has no respect for the beauty of the binomial theorem.

This brings up the one plot hole in Barbara Broadcast: I have never been to a Restaurant where the servers are punished for breaking dishes by pleasuring the Maitre D' orally...

https://i.imgflip.com/2j7223.jpg

I believe this.

 

[Mei5ter]

. Let’s take amateur porn: what the FUCK is up with the pet birds? I cannot focus on you riding your special friend’s erect member when that fucking cockatoo is screeching dinosaur insults behind you.

And yet...there are so many opportunities for cockatoo related puns. “Yep, she’s had a cockatoo in there!” for starters.

Also, your apartment is a goddamned landfill. Throw some dirty clothes in the closet before you memorialize your throbbing genitals for generations yet unborn.

I still have one picture scarred on my memory. Gorgeous girl, stunning lingerie...just perfect. Posing in her bathroom.

So far so good. Unfortunately, the bathroom in question had a carpet spotted with dubious stains, and a bin in the corner with used sanitary products spilling over the top.

Words fail.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

#12

Online & Real Life Kink
Let's talk people exploring their kink online only and those people who live a lifestyle.
How are you exploring your kink at the moment and in the past?

If you fall in only one category, how do you feel about members of the other category? (I.e. If you are living a 24/7 D/s relationship, could you imagine being online only? If you are online only, do you ever want to transition to real life?)

This is certainly not meant to be an us v. them question. Everyone has different restrictions, desires, and availability, but there does seem to be a different level of thought that goes into someone who's strictly online and people who venture into the meat space.

This questions was inspired by the episode of AudioPhiles! Check it out.
And I need more questions guys!

I've attended one munch offline, all of my other experience has been online.

I feel great about people getting their kink on, full stop. Should it matter whether it's online or off? We do what we can with what we've got, there should be no shame in that.

Yes, i want in-person, but online can be pretty amazing, too.

 

[cookiecat]

It has taken me a while to answer this, because I always feel a little out of my comfort zone around others who are much more experienced than I am. I also struggle greatly about whether this is even really a kink for me. For me, being submissive seems to be more part of my personality that's always there. It's in the boring day-to-day parts of my life and there's not anything really kinky about it there. However, that does naturally roll over into things I have discovered appeal to me on the sexual side. Sexually, my only experience has been online and that's been really fucking hot. When I hear about people that have this dynamic I'm happy for them and maybe a little bit jealous. I don't know that I would be fulfilled with a real life D/S relationship, but I think it's what is missing for me. I think it's what I need to thrive and be my best - in all aspects of my life.

This struck me because of my feelings about identifying myself as submissive and being single. Am I submissive - is my submission real - when I'm not submitting to someone??

People say they are "naturally" dominant or submissive. I am NOT naturally submissive in the way I think the term is portrayed: deferential, quiet, even meek.

I discovered bdsm when I was single. I really just wanted kinky sex at the time. The lucky thing is I found a part of me I felt was missing - or, like you, Indie - maybe it was defining something that was always there but I couldn't describe it.

I found that I really enjoyed being in service. Not just sexually, but being helpful and at times, I liked putting other people's happiness before my comfort because it made me happy to do that. Does that make sense???

It took me a long time to get comfortable saying, yes, I am submissive all the time, not just in the bedroom. Its not 100% of who I am. It's a piece of the whole puzzle.

I guess my question is do you (not just Indie but a general "you") feel submissive or dominant all the time? Do those qualities overlap in to your every day life? For me, that submissive part does mean being more thoughtful, gentle, a better listener. And not meek as much as striving to be more humble. Maybe I should have PLP ask this as a weekly question???

 

[midwestyankee]

This struck me because of my feelings about identifying myself as submissive and being single. Am I submissive - is my submission real - when I'm not submitting to someone??

People say they are "naturally" dominant or submissive. I am NOT naturally submissive in the way I think the term is portrayed: deferential, quiet, even meek.

I discovered bdsm when I was single. I really just wanted kinky sex at the time. The lucky thing is I found a part of me I felt was missing - or, like you, Indie - maybe it was defining something that was always there but I couldn't describe it.

I found that I really enjoyed being in service. Not just sexually, but being helpful and at times, I liked putting other people's happiness before my comfort because it made me happy to do that. Does that make sense???

It took me a long time to get comfortable saying, yes, I am submissive all the time, not just in the bedroom. Its not 100% of who I am. It's a piece of the whole puzzle.

I guess my question is do you (not just Indie but a general "you") feel submissive or dominant all the time? Do those qualities overlap in to your every day life? For me, that submissive part does mean being more thoughtful, gentle, a better listener. And not meek as much as striving to be more humble. Maybe I should have PLP ask this as a weekly question???

One way to think about the “Are you X when you don’t have a partner?” question is to ask if you are creative when you don’t have any paint or clay or writing materials available. Seems to me that just as being creative is a more—or-less natural trait, just as a tendency toward being submissive or dominant within a relationship is a more-or-less natural trait.

My two cents; your change might buy you a different view.

 

[cookiecat]

Hi Cookie! I'm going to cheat a bit and link you to an audio answer I recently did on another one of PLPs thought-provoking threads.

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=89811758&postcount=197

Thanks!!

One way to think about the “Are you X when you don’t have a partner?” question is to ask if you are creative when you don’t have any paint or clay or writing materials available. Seems to me that just as being creative is a more—or-less natural trait, just as a tendency toward being submissive or dominant within a relationship is a more-or-less natural trait.

My two cents; your change might buy you a different view.

Nope - your two cents is a good point of view. Thanks.

 

[Mei5ter]

<gulp>

That AV, though.

Thank you! Someone lovely created it for me, in at least two senses

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Maybe I should have PLP ask this as a weekly question???

Yes you should!! I need more questions!!!

((don't make me beg))

 

[AlwaysFara]

Yes you should!! I need more questions!!!

((don't make me beg))

I would like to talk about public play.
But I really like cookie’s question.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Lurking bc im turtlely

Awesome stuff guys

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I would like to talk about public play.
But I really like cookie’s question.

PM me! I have a whole folder for this stuff. Please

 

[AlwaysFara]

PM me! I have a whole folder for this stuff. Please

Good Lord, woman. Just listen to one of our last conversations!!! We have a wealth in there.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#13

#13 (inspired)

If you identify as Dominant or submissive, do you feel that way all the time? Do you feel like those qualities (and tell us what qualities they are) overlap into your everyday life?

Additionally, do you feel like you have to have the other half of the dynamic to be a Dominant or submissive? (i.e. Can I be a submissive when I have no one Dominating me? or vice versa?) What are some ways you can express that until you do have the dynamic again?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

#13 (inspired)

If you identify as Dominant or submissive, do you feel that way all the time? Do you feel like those qualities (and tell us what qualities they are) overlap into your everyday life?

Additionally, do you feel like you have to have the other half of the dynamic to be a Dominant or submissive? (i.e. Can I be a submissive when I have no one Dominating me? or vice versa?) What are some ways you can express that until you do have the dynamic again?

Pt.1 - submissive, and yes. In short, it's a desire and a choice to defer to the wishes of another. 24/7 submission is my default setting, both by nature and by nurture. I'd no idea there was any other way to do it until coming to Lit.

Pt.2 - No, of course i don't need a Dom to exist as a sub.
Expressing it is another matter.

 

[runsilent]

Honestly, I feel more submissive in my day today life than on the sexual side. Maybe that's because I haven't had a whole lot of experience with someone trying to dominate me? I don't know. But it is definitely a part of my personality that has always been there, even though I didn't have the words to describe it before. There is some overlap in both the day today and sexual parts, however. I want to serve, I want to please, I want someone else to take the reins, I want to be pushed.

I don't think being submissive is dependent on having a dominant in your life. I'm sure it definitely makes it easier! But I don't just stop being who I am because I don't have a partner who has stepped into that role. Ways that I can fulfill the submissive needs I have on my own include things like finding someone - even a friend - to be accountable to, setting rules, making lists, following a schedule, having a set routine, etc. Having structure in my life helps me to be the best that I can possibly be until I'm fortunate enough for someone who loves and cares about me to come along and offer to take the wheel.[/QUOTE

I pm'ed you. Dom without a sub. Trying to find my place.

 

[AlwaysFara]

#13 (inspired)

If you identify as Dominant or submissive, do you feel that way all the time? Do you feel like those qualities (and tell us what qualities they are) overlap into your everyday life?

Additionally, do you feel like you have to have the other half of the dynamic to be a Dominant or submissive? (i.e. Can I be a submissive when I have no one Dominating me? or vice versa?) What are some ways you can express that until you do have the dynamic again?

I identify as a submissive. I think I would be this way with any person I was with from now on. It’s what I wanted when I didn’t have a Dom type. I realized I was submissive in my relationship, and was no longer confused once I was actually with him.
The label of submissive is something I used to question, and now it is important to me. I want to be his submissive.
Sexually.
In life, no. I’m very far from submissive. I’m a mom and I care for people in my career, yes. That’s service, but it’s also CONTROL. I take care of a lot of people. My family depends on ME. My family depended on me when I was a child. I was always the one who cared for everyone, but I’m also the one who makes the decisions.
I am loud, and feminist, but also nurturing.
I did have the tendency to be a doormat, and/or codependent, in a relationship before, in every way BUT sexually. The opposite of what I have, now.
Don’t want that.

Yes, there’s an edge for me in this. It’s making me anxious to think about.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I pm'ed you. Dom without a sub. Trying to find my place.

Dude!

Try the personals.

Good grief.

 

[barefootgirl69]

#13 (inspired)

If you identify as Dominant or submissive, do you feel that way all the time? Do you feel like those qualities (and tell us what qualities they are) overlap into your everyday life?

Additionally, do you feel like you have to have the other half of the dynamic to be a Dominant or submissive? (i.e. Can I be a submissive when I have no one Dominating me? or vice versa?) What are some ways you can express that until you do have the dynamic again?

I'm submissive, I've always been submissive in everything I do, not just sexually. Even when I was working and in charge of an office, I never felt that it "wasn't my place". There's so many facets of who I am, but doing what my boss wanted is submission, right? Even in my marriage, my submission was to my husband in day to day life, but never sexually, because he wasn't a Dom. I can be a mom and caregiver, take charge of situations, educate my children, and still be a submissive.

I don't need to have a dynamic to be who I am, but it is nice when there is that one person to whom I give all my adoration. In between, I have Dom friends who are there for advice and for encouragement. I like to have submissive friends for those same purposes. Friends are very important.