❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[AlwaysFara]

#11
Body Image (stolen)

Bringing this question from another thread but I'm curious how the kinkier among us will answer.

When it comes to sex/kink how do you feel about your body? When it comes to sex/kink, does it affect how you feel (e.g. size, age, race, disability, gender, etc)
Do you feel like your body type is portrayed or portrayed accurately in porn? Does it bother you? Have you ever seen something represented in a way that made you rethink an attraction?

1- I feel great. I’m short. I have big boobs, and a chubby belly, and I’m pretty pale. I pink up easy. I show marks. And he loves it.
It affects how I feel because it’s just... hard to be naked and exposed, sometimes. I’ve always covered up. I have had boobs since I was 9. I was touched and stared at by grown men as a young teen. I thought something was WRONG with me for years. This made me fluctuate between being very sexual (‘cause, after all, I was built like a slut!) or completely hiding myself.
When I got married the issue was solved, because he didn’t comment on my body, he didn’t touch my body. It was a relief NOT to deal with it, until years passed, and I realized I wasn’t being touched. And that there was something wrong with him, not me.
Now, he (my current He) makes me show him. He looks at me. He wants to see all of me. I struggle with that, but I’m getting better. Most of the time.

2- Porn? No. Most porn I have seen have been younger women, very skinny. When I do happen across older women, they are either way older, or completely made up and hard bodies. I don’t think a NON HOT MILF, like, a regular woman over a certain age is portrayed accurately.
The gifs??? Certainly not. Maybe i’m just looking in the wrong places.
I’ve rethought my attraction to physique. I like big men. Like, over 6 feet. Body Hair. Beardy, not not always. I like the dad bod type, even in younger men. He says he’s gained weight since he moved here, because I’m cooking for him. I don’t see it, and I don’t care. I’ve never been attracted to that muscle type in life, but I guess since I was spoon fed “This is hot!” for so long, that’s what I started to think.
Maybe it’s my age. I just don’t really care anymore. Eyes are important. Crinkled corners when his eyes smile at me.

You don’t really see that in porn, but I really don’t watch it all that much.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Out of curiosity, does anyone - male or female - really notice the body types and appearance of men in porn?

Being male and straight I think I must just filter them out. I have a vague impression they have no body hair, lots of muscles, and (I guess?) above average sized penises. But I don’t watch enough kink porn to know if this is a more mainstream porn thing, and whether there’s a greater variety of men represented in kink?

I do when it's something obscenely smooth and muscly and will always turn off or avoid. Overly groomed, pretty boys do nothing for me.
I prefer a guy with some meat on his bones and man fur. I prefer real.

Also huge cocks scare me - keeping the Lil in my user name - kthanks!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Hmm... I would say we chaps absolutely do have insecurities and get self-conscious. There's just more fronting that we tend to do, I would guess.

Fair enough.

And another vote here for the 'real' man bods. They're just damn hawt.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I do when it's something obscenely smooth and muscly and will always turn off or avoid. Overly groomed, pretty boys do nothing for me.
I prefer a guy with some meat on his bones and man fur. I prefer real.

Also huge cocks scare me - keeping the Lil in my user name - kthanks!

Define HUGE.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Define HUGE.

Huge. You know it when you see it. Lol

 

[Miles Long]

Define HUGE.

Huge. You know it when you see it. Lol

Hello, ladies...

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/fc/fc4ad1b79f08a6fab29e75c442dfb96bf357451b643eb76dc50ce3575660f108.jpg

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

And no car?

 

[Miles Long]

And no car?

Hitch a ride.

https://img2.cgtrader.com/items/114544/05e5eca2be/oscar-mayer-wienermobile-1952-3d-model-max.jpg

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

smh

 

[barefootgirl69]

Now that ^^^^ made me laugh

 

[Dribble]

Hello, ladies...

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/fc/fc4ad1b79f08a6fab29e75c442dfb96bf357451b643eb76dc50ce3575660f108.jpg

Hell...I figured he just had one too many DUIs...you know...like the guy that drives his lawn mower up town now?

 

[AlwaysFara]

Come on, guys.

We are opening up. Please, join in. We wanna know.

 

[Apisto42]

#11
Body Image (stolen)

Bringing this question from another thread but I'm curious how the kinkier among us will answer.

When it comes to sex/kink how do you feel about your body? When it comes to sex/kink, does it affect how you feel (e.g. size, age, race, disability, gender, etc)
Do you feel like your body type is portrayed or portrayed accurately in porn? Does it bother you? Have you ever seen something represented in a way that made you rethink an attraction?

Come on, guys.

We are opening up. Please, join in. We wanna know.

I’m okay with it. And by “okay”, I mean: I don’t really think about it. Maybe it’s confidence bordering on arrogance? My body is not perfect, but fuck, if we’re at the taking clothes off stage? She already knows I’m a big guy. In my early 20’s I suppose I worried it about it, but shit, at that age I barely knew anything about life.

Sex is barely about what your body looks like. There’s got to be some level of physical attraction I would think in most cases, but the feel of her skin, her scent, her taste and above all, her dirty mind are what I crave.

Porn? Shit. Ron Jeremy? Middle age overweight white guy slinging pipe. And he was funny. There’s still plenty of his type in porn. Gotta match your audience after all.

Thanks to WildHoney: the “media” that made me rethink really big girls, was the collection of stories about “Callaghans’ Pub” by Spider Robinson. Very descriptive and I tried it out in real life and she was amazing.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I’m okay with it. And by “okay”, I mean: I don’t really think about it. Maybe it’s confidence bordering on arrogance? My body is not perfect, but fuck, if we’re at the taking clothes off stage? She already knows I’m a big guy. In my early 20’s I suppose I worried it about it, but shit, at that age I barely knew anything about life.

Sex is barely about what your body looks like. There’s got to be some level of physical attraction I would think in most cases, but the feel of her skin, her scent, her taste and above all, her dirty mind are what I crave.

Porn? Shit. Ron Jeremy? Middle age overweight white guy slinging pipe. And he was funny. There’s still plenty of his type in porn. Gotta match your audience after all.

Thanks to WildHoney: the “media” that made me rethink really big girls, was the collection of stories about “Callaghans’ Pub” by Spider Robinson. Very descriptive and I tried it out in real life and she was amazing.

Define “big.”

I kid. I kid.

 

[Apisto42]

Define “big.”

I kid. I kid.

Well, you know, the smaller she is...

Seriously, I’ve got a big tummy, big shoulders, big legs, flat butt and I drive a 20 year old two door civic. You can figure out the rest yourself.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Well, you know, the smaller she is...

Seriously, I’ve got a big tummy, big shoulders, big legs, flat butt and I drive a 20 year old two door civic. You can figure out the rest yourself.

Oh fuck.
Are you my ex husband?

 

[midwestyankee]

Oh fuck.
Are you my ex husband?

This is gold.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Sex is barely about what your body looks like... the feel of her skin, her scent, her taste and above all, her dirty mind are what I crave.

This is great.

* * * * * * * *

I've never had anyone comment on my size. I have had them say that I'm a lot of fun.
My favorite compliment was, 'I love the way your body responds to me.' Which of course has zero to do with how large or small i am.

 

[Apisto42]

Oh fuck.
Are you my ex husband?

Babe, if I was him, you wouldn’t be a “ex.”

Well, at least not for the reason you wrote above. You probably would have got tired of me being an asshole.

 

[clistenovena]

Out of curiosity, does anyone - male or female - really notice the body types and appearance of men in porn?

Y'all watch porn?? Dang. You pervs.



I like the homemade stuff. Real is sexy as fuck. And since that's what they are doing...mmm.

When it comes to sex/kink how do you feel about your body? When it comes to sex/kink, does it affect how you feel (e.g. size, age, race, disability, gender, etc)
Pretty damned good, actually. Sure, I could do a few more squats to help my posterior area and I scowl at my scars sometimes, but having a hypersexual mind truly overrides any of those thoughts. Once my mind goes there with him, a few dimples on my ass aren't going to keep me from diving into the deep dark. Now, I could never have said that when I was younger (I look back on that poor girl and wish I could time travel and tell her the power she truly held within), however, these days, I feel I'm at my best when I'm naked. My husband would agree wholeheartedly with that, which is a boon, really. Too bad most of the rest of my world wouldn't see it that way. Public indecency indeed...pfffttt!

Do you feel like your body type is portrayed or portrayed accurately in porn? Does it bother you?
Hahaha! The first part makes me laugh, 'cause scarred up blonde chicks aren't going to ever be anyone's leading-lady choice for smut vids (unless maybe that is the kink focus of the porn). It is what it is. It doesn't bother me because I stay rooted in the pragmatism of what the world considers beautiful. And I can make my own porn, thanks much.

Have you ever seen something represented in a way that made you rethink an attraction?
What a really good question. It's making me think. Or rethink, as it were.

I don't know if my exposure to BDSM kink made me rethink the attraction or just firmly nailed it in place. When something is fantasy-only, it becomes warped to our own needs and desires, never having to go beyond the limits of our own thoughts. Bringing that fantasy out in the light with another human unravels the idea and forms it anew. My first experience with a Dominant man turned my world upside down (at times, literally). From the moment his hand wrapped itself in my hair, I had to rethink who I was, who he was...what we were together. It changed my view of what the dynamic actually can be. Paradigm shift, to be sure.

Not sure if that was the way that question was to be answered, but it's what my mind put out there.

And what Wild Honey said about Germans- spot on. Kinky fuckers for real. The ones I know, anyway. And from what they say about their compatriots, the lot of them are as well. Go, Germany!

Oh, and one more vote for dad-bods.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#12

#12

Online & Real Life Kink
Let's talk people exploring their kink online only and those people who live a lifestyle.
How are you exploring your kink at the moment and in the past?
If you fall in only one category, how do you feel about members of the other category? (I.e. If you are living a 24/7 D/s relationship, could you imagine being online only? If you are online only, do you ever want to transition to real life?)

This is certainly not meant to be an us v. them question. Everyone has different restrictions, desires, and availability, but there does seem to be a different level of thought that goes into someone who's strictly online and people who venture into the meat space.

This questions was inspired by the episode of AudioPhiles! Check it out.
And I need more questions guys!

 

[cascadiabound]

Frankly I am already hesitant to engage this question because of the way it seems set up for an us vs them show down.

Perhaps people could talk about the way they are approaching their current relationship on the continuum from on line only to 24/7 recognizing that there is quite a lot in between and there is often fluidity for a given person in their lifetime or depending on partner what is possible.

Perhaps people could talk about what they themselves have found to be satisfying or not so about the various configurations they have experienced.

I would hate for there to be a purity test here applied about the "true way" in responding to this even though i would guess many would have a place on the continuum they would ideally like to be even if they don't have it now or don't know how to achieve it.

~cascadia

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Frankly I am already hesitant to engage this question because of the way it seems set up for an us vs them show down.

Perhaps people could talk about the way they are approaching their current relationship on the continuum from on line only to 24/7 recognizing that there is quite a lot in between and there is often fluidity for a given person in their lifetime or depending on partner what is possible.

Perhaps people could talk about what they themselves have found to be satisfying or not so about the various configurations they have experienced.

I would hate for there to be a purity test here applied about the "true way" in responding to this even though i would guess many would have a place on the continuum they would ideally like to be even if they don't have it now or don't know how to achieve it.

~cascadia

Completely valid. I rephrased it a bit. I hope that helps.
I never meant it to be purity test but I can see how it may have felt that way.
plp

 

[cookiecat]

Online v real life - makes no never mind to me. Someone in another forum said online, for them, was their real life. I guess that makes sense. It feels real, right?

When I first started exploring bdsm, it was online. It totally served a purpose -- it felt safe, my feelings were super real! I learned terminology, I figured out what I liked and didn't like.

I've mentioned this before - I was on another site that offered a "school" of sorts. As I recall, there were different levels - Beginner tasks (level one) Intermediate (level two) and Level three. Dominants would post their tasks after having the task vetted by a group of mentors. I could choose a task, complete it, and write a report in the forum. It was a fun, interactive way to explore. It's long since defunct - it took a lot of effort to keep the momentum going. But that was a great way to learn about bdsm in an online setting.

My point is, online for me was a great starting place. I was fortunate enough to meet a man at that school site who steered me to checking out my local community.

I've been involved in face to face bdsm for about 15 years now. I used to be super judgey about online only - especially when it came to married people using it as an outlet. I hate to admit I was a judgey single person at that time!!

Now that I've been in a situation where I was married but, due to illness, couldn't have sex or participate in bdsm, I turned to online to see if I could scratch that itch. It fell super flat. I wanted the physical more than the mental.

I can see using online as a way to meet someone but I don't think I could sustain an online only relationship for any length of time. Online kink is hard to DO. I was recently having fun with someone I met on a different site. We were having lots of interesting shenanigans - it wasn't really a relationship. It got to a point, though, where I couldn't keep doing stuff to my own self. What was fun in the beginning became unfulfilling because I wanted physical contact. I wanted more.

I am no longer judgemental. We all deserve to feel wanted, sexual, even love. I had to keep online in check so I wasn't using it as a way to avoid my day to day life.

There is room for both types of relationships. I've felt love and lust online just as strongly as I have face to face.

Did I answer the question? This was rambley.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Did I answer the question? This was rambley.

I think you answered it beautifully. Thank you!