Daddy's Little Girl: Second Edition

[cascadiabound]

https://78.media.tumblr.com/678b2af4690a737efcc7dc3e5504fdf8/tumblr_pclxnaROiR1vg3bnbo1_1280.jpg

I know I am a complicated woman. Not unlike all of what sub tulip talks about above. Sometimes my words a mess of ill logic and need when my brain becomes a pin ball machine of crap that won't settle. Sometimes i just want to feel and be angry and lash out and I don't want to be calmly analyzed and "helped" to be calm. Sometimes all I can do is identify the current trigger, but to actually go after managing the trigger *right then* is more than I can bear.

But I am worth it? Yes. Is the more love I sometimes need multiplied back in my devotion? You bet. And I am full of fire. Passion. Attitude. Sometimes that means I am a lot of work.

 

[ExiledWelshman]

Waves - hi everyone.

Somewhat off topic but I’m interested to hear other people’s thoughts on what I’m going to mention.

Reading through the posts here something has kept on popping into my head. I’m not sure if this applies to anyone else but whilst I am a strong woman and very capable and have a lot of responsibility in my work and home life I can also be very emotional and sensitive. Most of the time I can process this with analysis or logic when I’m overly emotional or overly sensitive. However I have noticed that when things get too much or I am overwhelmed I tend to be more little and have a plethora of emotions smashing into me all at once. In those times I have learnt that rather than deal with things in a productive manner I just want to say immediately how I feel and what comes into my head without filtering it or applying logical thought to it. For me I have realised that this is not what my Daddy deserves or needs. Whilst he wants to know how I am doing and how I feel he does not need me to say this in a thoughtless and and quick trigger way. As often I can’t convey what I really mean or need or want as I am too emotional to think clearly and to have really thought about it or applied the relative logic to it.

I realised that whilst my Daddy is there for me to support me and guide me it is not ok for me to thoughtlessly dump my emotional crap on him all the time and expect him to sort it out or think it through for me because I just can’t at that moment in time.

I realised that it is better to start off with what upset me or made me emotional, my Daddy can then calm me down and talk though it with me by asking questions. It is hard Cos my go to reaction at that point is just to blurt random things which are confusing but I have noticed that as hard as it is telling my Daddy upfront I am upset and I am struggling with this, so I may behave like this, is much more productive as he then calms me down and then is able to take the necessary steps to help me as he has the knowledge to do so. It takes much less of an emotional toll on us both and has actually brought us closer together in the process.

Did anyone else go through this if so how did you deal with it? I guess what I have learnt is that to be a good girl and meet my Daddys needs when all is fine is good but it is also easy but to meet my Daddys needs and be a good girl when things are not fine is harder and has more meaning. Don’t know if that makes sense but this has been rolling around in my head and I thought perhaps someone might have also been through this. sorry for the rambling post.

Hey you

I was going to reply. Then realised I was waffling and actually doubled back on a point to contradict myself.

But your post is not a ramble. It's well considered.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Waves - hi everyone.


I realised that whilst my Daddy is there for me to support me and guide me it is not ok for me to thoughtlessly dump my emotional crap on him all the time and expect him to sort it out or think it through for me because I just can’t at that moment in time.

Did anyone else go through this if so how did you deal with it? I guess what I have learnt is that to be a good girl and meet my Daddys needs when all is fine is good but it is also easy but to meet my Daddys needs and be a good girl when things are not fine is harder and has more meaning. Don’t know if that makes sense but this has been rolling around in my head and I thought perhaps someone might have also been through this. sorry for the rambling post.

Hi, Tulip, it's good to see you posting.

I pondered this all morning. To be honest, I'm an emotional being. DarkSimian calls me a little spitfire. . When I'm angry, you know it. When I'm hurting, you know it (it usually comes across as angry, though). I do tend to dump on my Daddy. Just like I do my other best friends.

I'm not looking for people to solve my problems, I'm looking for something that will anchor me. Something that I may not have seen - a new perspective. A point of view that helps me understand things or calms me. I don't really know how else to explain it.

Meeting his needs and being a good girl when things AREN'T fine is harder... I love how you pointed that out. You made such a good point. Now you have me thinking. What do I do in those situations? How can I change the things I need to change?

 

[Angedesoleil]

https://78.media.tumblr.com/678b2af4690a737efcc7dc3e5504fdf8/tumblr_pclxnaROiR1vg3bnbo1_1280.jpg

I know I am a complicated woman. Not unlike all of what sub tulip talks about above. Sometimes my words a mess of ill logic and need when my brain becomes a pin ball machine of crap that won't settle. Sometimes i just want to feel and be angry and lash out and I don't want to be calmly analyzed and "helped" to be calm. Sometimes all I can do is identify the current trigger, but to actually go after managing the trigger *right then* is more than I can bear.

But I am worth it? Yes. Is the more love I sometimes need multiplied back in my devotion? You bet. And I am full of fire. Passion. Attitude. Sometimes that means I am a lot of work.

This is so important. Ihad this whole long reply typed then life and I had to close the window. >.>

We are work, yes. But in the end we are worth it. It's such a hard and important thing to accept and then so against my nature to voice. I have, on more than one occasion, literally yelled *I'm worth it* in tears. Not ever at Daddy, he doesnt make me feel that way.

Tulip I've got a big long reply coming, but it'll have to be in the morning because *safety*.I love you.

 

[ExiledWelshman]

[/B]

This is so important. Ihad this whole long reply typed then life and I had to close the window. >.>

We are work, yes. But in the end we are worth it. It's such a hard and important thing to accept and then so against my nature to voice. I have, on more than one occasion, literally yelled *I'm worth it* in tears. Not ever at Daddy, he doesnt make me feel that way.

Tulip I've got a big long reply coming, but it'll have to be in the morning because *safety*.I love you.

Well I know YOU'RE worth it.

Cas, I'm 99.9% sure you're worth it (the 0.1% is because you went on holiday and neglected me )

Tulip though? Not sure. She's trouble.

OMG joking!

 

[SubTulip]

......

 

[SubTulip]

......

 

[ExiledWelshman]

Sticks tongue out and gets armed with the bright green toenail varnish!

Yup.

Trouble.

 

[SubTulip]

Yup.

Trouble.

Splashes the bright green on, you were warned EW lol!

 

[ExiledWelshman]

Splashes the bright green on, you were warned EW lol!

GRIM!

 

[SubTulip]

GRIM!

Aw it looks so pretty on you though

 

[ExiledWelshman]

Aw it looks so pretty on you though

Not my colour, Tulip.

Get me a nice deep purple, and we'll talk!

 

[SubTulip]

......

 

[ExiledWelshman]

Ooh bright purple and bright green awesome idea EW!

You're a wrong'un

 

[SubTulip]

......

 

[Angedesoleil]

Psssttttt .... I'm doing mine again currently, in the car and was actually grinning at a thing you promised to do this summer XD. I've not forgotten.

 

[PuckIt]

It is said that “a Top is for tonight, a Dominant is for as long as she is submissive, a Master is there until she is no longer a slave, but a Daddy is forever.” Daddy may have to give his girl away to a husband. He may eventually run out of things to teach his little girl. She may ultimately not need his sage advice and his experience any more. Hopefully he will be too old by then to have to deal with it, because when there is nothing left to teach, no need for a confidant, no discipline needing to be meted out, when his little girl no longer needs her Daddy, that’s when he will die inside. The need that Daddy has for his girl is every bit as potent as the need she has for her Daddy. ~ WizarDavid

I admit I've been quietly lurking and keeping an eye on this thread from a distance for a while. And some of the things said have both touched me and have set me off center.


I can hear what is being said about not needing Daddy. Or about needing more than Daddy. Other people besides Daddy. I can hear and understand what is said about wanting to protect Daddy from quick trigger outbursts. Or not wanting to be a constant bother. And, in truth, the DD in me both applauds and cringes to hear and read it.


But, I think a lot of that goes back to what I think being here for a little means in my mind. And maybe I'm just not understanding just what it is a little really needs.


To me, I should be her biggest fan. I should be her cheerleader. I should know not only all of her triumphs but what she attempts to do that is beyond her. And I should cheer just as loud, if not louder, for the attempts that she makes to better herself. To reach beyond her grasp. Because it means that she is growing. That she is beginning to see herself as I do, how much more she is capable of beyond her fears and insecurities.


To me, I should be her biggest confidant. I should know more about her than anyone. I should know the embarrassing things. Those which she feels are shameful. I should know her secret desires and longings. I should be the one she first thinks of when she needs an understanding ear.

To me, I should be her protection. Her shield against threats that would harm her, both real and perceived, that she is not quite ready to tackle on her own. For her to shelter in the embrace of someone else, even if it is a circle of friends, means, to me, that I have failed in my most important duty as a Daddy. I have failed to be her safe place. The place where she knows that nothing can harm her unless it comes through me first.

To me, I should be her mentor. I should constantly strive to teach her everything I know. Or, when I run out of things I know that she doesn't, I should push her to learn more and be more. As much as she can. Even when that means I have to shut the hell up and let someone else teach her. And, yes. Even when it comes to protecting herself, without a need for me as a shield.

Even once I have nothing left to teach her that she doesn't already know, I should still serve as a guide. As a counselor. I should be willing to go to any lengths I need to support her and nudge her back on the path when her own fears and insecurities scream in her beautiful brain, "I can't do this!" Even... or perhaps especially... when that guidance means directing her to someone else who can teach what I do not know.


To me, no matter what happens, I should be her anchor. Her stone shelter that she knows she can come back to and be welcomed with open arms, no matter how far and wide she might venture and leave me behind. That I will never turn her away. Never turn my back on her. Even when she doesn't need me anymore.


Where I admit I have always struggled is with discipline. My temptation is going to be to spoil her. To love her and accept her whatever she might have done. And it truly does hurt me worse than it hurts her for me to have to call her down for doing something she shouldn't have, and that she knew better than to do. But, it also makes me wonder and look over my own actions and inactions that she might have felt like that was a good idea, or I might not have cared. And, maybe it's a mistake. But, I don't get angry with her. And I make sure to tell her that, each and every time she begs me not to be mad. That I am not and have never been angry with her. That my disappointment, my frustration, and even my anger are directed at myself that I didn't do a better job, that I didn't head her off and keep her from doing such a thing.

I don't know. There are times when I really question just what I am. But, I think it's because a Daddy is only a Daddy when has a little. And, when she comes to me and those feelings wash over and through me, I know in my blood and bone that this is what I am. I am her Daddy. For as long as she needs me and is willing to allow me to be.

And, yes. When she doesn't turn to me first to have a need met, and I find out, a part of me withers just a little bit. It breaks my heart just a little bit. And I feel like I have let her down.


But, maybe it's no bad thing for me, and perhaps some other Daddies, to read what some littles have written on these last few pages. About not relying solely on Daddy. About sometimes guarding Daddy from her own quick trigger responses. About sometimes wanting to stand on her own and not be such a bother (which I never think). To be reminded that it is not about what I want from her, but what she needs me to be.


Because I think if I actively want to be all she has and needs, if I actively object to her protecting me from her trigger responses and not letting me see her as she really is if that is what she wants to do, if I actively try to stop her from dealing with things herself without telling me rather than sharing them with me in a timely manner, then maybe I'm not being the Daddy I should be, that I want to be. Maybe I've given her chains instead of wings. And if I can't grow large enough that she doesn't have to shrink in on herself to continue being my little, then perhaps I have served my purpose and it's time for this stone shelter stand empty except for memories.


Thank you, all of you brave, strong women, for speaking out and teaching (or perhaps just reminding) me , at least, something I sometimes am in danger of forgetting. I don't have to try to remember to wrap my arms around her and hold her tightly to me. But, I sometimes struggle with remembering to let her slip from my embrace so that she can do and be more than she could have been sheltering in my shadow.

https://image.dhgate.com/0x0/f2/albu/g1/M00/F2/F9/rBVaGFZpCgCAbphDAAJps2GbIlQ322.jpg

 

[cascadiabound]

Thank you Lilo
For sharing so much and providing some new resources here for people to think about.

This might be a good topic for others to chime in on?

For the board in general:
Do you feel your little/middle self all the time or just sometimes?
Do you age regress when you are in little/middle space?
How does this thread its way through your life/ your sexuality/ your Dd/lg relationship?

Are those the right questions? If not....just say what you want to say.

I know I asked these questions what feels like a coons age ago, but I promised myself that I would try to come back and address them myself when I felt up to it. soooooo

I guess I would preface my comments by saying that i feel like an "atypical little" most of the time when I am in this thread ~ as if there is such a thing as a "typical" one. I am not particularly sparkly, glitter annoys me more than delights me most of the time, I barely tolerate princess stuff and disney movies and I take pride in being a grown ass woman who can run a room, manage lots of stuff, take no shit and take care of business.

Do you feel your little/middle self all the time or just sometimes?
therefore - to whatever degree I am a little/middle - I am definitely not a little/ middle all of the time. though... if I could be a student full time for the rest of my life I probably would. Color pencils lined up and tabbed notebooks ready for notes.
I feel my little/ middle self really in relationship to my daddy. And when I am comfortable enough to allow myself to not be in charge - to let someone else help me, be my partner and take the weight off my shoulders. Something I often have a hard time allowing and requires a great deal of trust.

Do you age regress when you are in little/middle space?
A year ago I think I would have answered this question with a flat *no*
But, I think, in fact, I do regress some - My voice gets smaller and changes. I can feel my body responding, wanting to be smaller, more diminutive, and my brain just screams to be managed, handled, petted. I wonder if some of this need/ crave regression thing also connects to the attraction I have to pet play stuff.

How does this thread its way through your life/ your sexuality/ your Dd/lg relationship?
I think I keep touching on how my little/ middle self interacts with everything else. As an older sibling, I never felt like I was allowed to be "little" when I WAS little. When I turned 16 I was given my first teddy bear by a particularly perceptive friend. I slept with that bear for the next decade. And I can't imagine parting with that bear to this day. I was a tom boy and preferred the company of the nerdy boys to the girlie girls. But... I do love to get dressed up and wear what he wants me to - whether it is a pretty bra, or dangling earrings, or a particular skirt, some mid-height heels that zing that sex appeal... and the "little" in me wants to be spoiled a little - my hair brushed, sent to get a massage, or my feet rubbed, reminded to take care of myself because, after all, taking care of me, is taking care of Daddy's girl, for daddy.

(BTW - this was my 16,000 post )

 

[cascadiabound]

I admit I've been quietly lurking and keeping an eye on this thread from a distance for a while. And some of the things said have both touched me and have set me off center.

I can hear what is being said about not needing Daddy. Or about needing more than Daddy. Other people besides Daddy. I can hear and understand what is said about wanting to protect Daddy from quick trigger outbursts. Or not wanting to be a constant bother. And, in truth, the DD in me both applauds and cringes to hear and read it.

[snip]

I don't know. There are times when I really question just what I am. But, I think it's because a Daddy is only a Daddy when has a little. And, when she comes to me and those feelings wash over and through me, I know in my blood and bone that this is what I am. I am her Daddy. For as long as she needs me and is willing to allow me to be.

And, yes. When she doesn't turn to me first to have a need met, and I find out, a part of me withers just a little bit. It breaks my heart just a little bit. And I feel like I have let her down.

But, maybe it's no bad thing for me, and perhaps some other Daddies, to read what some littles have written on these last few pages. About not relying solely on Daddy. About sometimes guarding Daddy from her own quick trigger responses. About sometimes wanting to stand on her own and not be such a bother (which I never think). To be reminded that it is not about what I want from her, but what she needs me to be.

Because I think if I actively want to be all she has and needs, if I actively object to her protecting me from her trigger responses and not letting me see her as she really is if that is what she wants to do, if I actively try to stop her from dealing with things herself without telling me rather than sharing them with me in a timely manner, then maybe I'm not being the Daddy I should be, that I want to be. Maybe I've given her chains instead of wings. And if I can't grow large enough that she doesn't have to shrink in on herself to continue being my little, then perhaps I have served my purpose and it's time for this stone shelter stand empty except for memories.
[snip]

I am not sure that anyone said *not needing daddy* - but in any case, I think that we all recognize that as much as we may want to be a perfect dyad for our partner (DD/lg) able to meet each other's needs for each other without anyone else in the picture, we know how that cannot really be so.

However, Puck, you get it right when you say that the nature of these relationships is TRUST and in that trust we therefore must turn first to our daddy to have our needs met, when we are hurting, scared, triggered, a mess. That is what our daddy's want and need to do for us. Not long ago, I had a bit of a melt down in the middle of the night and wrote it all to daddy a tumult of words and emotion and mess - and his instant reaction was to wonder if he had missed something. To remind me that he wants to know all that crap. Which just about caused me to hyperventilate, cause I HAD told him as soon as I knew I had all of that mess in my brain swirling in a fog.

I do think, as a partner in this endeavor, that I have some responsibility to communicate as best as I can. To not be unaware of how my emotional volatility might impact him. I can rely on him, and still recognize that dumping my crap and expecting him to do the full clean up is not fair, and not really how I want to be in relationship, even in a DD/lg dynamic. He can be my anchor, my shelter, and place of safety, even from my own swirling emotions while we together learn how I can be smarter at having those feelings and triggers incapacitate me less.

Hopefully that makes sense.

 

[PuckIt]

I am not sure than anyone said *not needing daddy* ~snip~.

Um. Oops?

In my defense, I was watching the sunrise for the second time since I'd slept. For maybe the... third time in a week? (Yes, I don't do the sleep thing very well.)

What I actually meant to say was "...not wanting to be needing Daddy so much..."

At least I think that is what I meant to say. Not sure at this point. Not sure I've refilled my sleep tank.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Um. Oops?

In my defense, I was watching the sunrise for the second time since I'd slept. For maybe the... third time in a week? (Yes, I don't do the sleep thing very well.)

What I actually meant to say was "...not wanting to be needing Daddy so much..."

At least I think that is what I meant to say. Not sure at this point. Not sure I've refilled my sleep tank.

Puck!!! Go to sleep!!

 

[PuckIt]

Puck!!! Go to sleep!!

We need to work on your presentation. It's "go the fuck to sleep!"

However, a) it's only 2000 here, b) I just woke up a little while ago from six hours (which is really long for me), and c) look who's talking insomn-0-matic.

 

[HeavyBalls]

What is this sleep you speak of?

 

[barefootgirl69]

We need to work on your presentation. It's "go the fuck to sleep!"

However, a) it's only 2000 here, b) I just woke up a little while ago from six hours (which is really long for me), and c) look who's talking insomn-0-matic.

LOL. Well, no one said I had to present it well. I just swing my stick and give the hairy eyeball, ya know?

I'm glad you got some rest. I can't remember a time when I slept 6 hours!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I can't keep living like this, wanting and needing and wishing and hoping... and not getting. It's time for me to pull on my big girl knickers, learn how to meet my own needs (or manage without), and get on with life.

Congratulations, good luck, and best wishes to everyone.