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Daddy's Little Girl: Second Edition

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I wanted to thank folks for engaging in rhe questions I dropped off earlier.
I have not been here much...time change issues and other stuff, but I promise i will come back and address the questions myself before the end of the week.


:rose:
cb
 
Angedesoleil said:
Ok. So side topic.... dance and music speak to me deeply I dunno if anyone else too. But for the last three days I'm deeply moved by this dance ( the song not 100% fitting, but the DANCE as a metaphor for this dynamic and much of D/s
https://youtu.be/3DQRULMZD1M
Click to expand...

Dance as a metaphor for D/s reminded me of this post by MessierObject on the Gentleman Doms thread:

 
Standing ovation for that post. Absolutely right on the nose. I absolutely agree. Which is precisely why that dance specifically strikes me. It fits for Lit particularly. We are most definitely a small lake not a big ocean. Sometimes it takes a few false starts (in good faith and effort) to find the correct partner. Sometimes we cross paths. Sometimes we drift apart,change, grow, and then find that we now fit together perfectly ( No Daddy, I don't mean us. We did that when we never in all these years ran into eachother. :/ we just never had the same timing. You were here, then gone. I was here then gone. Then you were back then gone. Then it took almost a year for us to actually find cause to TALK. Not us. But in general)
So yeah. That post. I absolutely agree with all of it. Extremely well said. Thank You, Honey.
 
Angedesoleil said:
Standing ovation for that post. Absolutely right on the nose. I absolutely agree. Which is precisely why that dance specifically strikes me. It fits for Lit particularly. We are most definitely a small lake not a big ocean. Sometimes it takes a few false starts (in good faith and effort) to find the correct partner. Sometimes we cross paths. Sometimes we drift apart,change, grow, and then find that we now fit together perfectly ( No Daddy, I don't mean us. We did that when we never in all these years ran into eachother. :/ we just never had the same timing. You were here, then gone. I was here then gone. Then you were back then gone. Then it took almost a year for us to actually find cause to TALK. Not us. But in general)
So yeah. That post. I absolutely agree with all of it. Extremely well said. Thank You, Honey.
Click to expand...

You're quite welcome. MO was a great guy, i wish he'd stayed longer.

And my response to his post:

 
Some babbles... Hope it is ok...

Hello All Dad's and Doms, Littles and Middles!
I have been emotionally unavailable for a while but I wanted to say hello! I really enjoyed catching up on the first half of the new thread, I hope to read the rest soon. Thank you BFG for providing such a nice place!
I wanted to touch on a comment Wild Honey made about gas tanks, I refer to them as "emotional piggy banks", cute right? 🐖 Anywho for a while now I had the mindset that the other person in my relationship should be the one feeding and nuturing my emotions. If anyone should care, it should be him right? Well when one is in love with a narcissist, all they can see is their self. I don't know why I gave him so much control over my happiness! It has been a horrible journey. Fortunately I am getting stronger by myself despite his desire to keep knocking me down. I'm not the same person I was before. I see that now. Years of conditioning will have to be reversed. Although I feel like a "brat and a little" it doesn't mean I have to be stuck in a co-dependant mind set.
I want someone who will cuddle me and care for me. I have always taken care of all my partners in every way... Emotionally, financially, physically... I have never taken care of me. It's so incredibly important! I'm finally working on it.
I think it finally clicked that our love is all wrong this past week. I have been seeing a therapist and talking things out with her. She asked why I couldn't talk about my feelings with "him". I talked about gaslighting and how my feeling with be downplayed regardless. So my "homework" was to discuss how I had been feeling with him. I approached him asking for financial help. It turned into the largest fight we had ever been in with him saying some really horrible things that I can never forgive and forget. All my hard work has not been for nothing.
I have to start loving myself first and filling up my piggy bank for myself. It is going to be soooo hard. The hardest battle of my life. I've always been strong. Fuck, I've been holding everyone up for years.
I am so sorry to babble on and on.... I wanted to say, if someone never contributes to your emotional piggy bank under the disguise of a Dom/Viking/Daddy... They are in the wrong. Real partners support and love you. When you ask for "Help" they say okay. That is love. Not putting you threw the emotional ringer to make themselves feel better.
 
SquirtnBrat said:
Hello All Dad's and Doms, Littles and Middles!
I have been emotionally unavailable for a while but I wanted to say hello! I really enjoyed catching up on the first half of the new thread, I hope to read the rest soon. Thank you BFG for providing such a nice place!
I wanted to touch on a comment Wild Honey made about gas tanks, I refer to them as "emotional piggy banks", cute right? 🐖 Anywho for a while now I had the mindset that the other person in my relationship should be the one feeding and nuturing my emotions. If anyone should care, it should be him right? Well when one is in love with a narcissist, all they can see is their self. I don't know why I gave him so much control over my happiness! It has been a horrible journey. Fortunately I am getting stronger by myself despite his desire to keep knocking me down. I'm not the same person I was before. I see that now. Years of conditioning will have to be reversed. Although I feel like a "brat and a little" it doesn't mean I have to be stuck in a co-dependant mind set.
I want someone who will cuddle me and care for me. I have always taken care of all my partners in every way... Emotionally, financially, physically... I have never taken care of me. It's so incredibly important! I'm finally working on it.
I think it finally clicked that our love is all wrong this past week. I have been seeing a therapist and talking things out with her. She asked why I couldn't talk about my feelings with "him". I talked about gaslighting and how my feeling with be downplayed regardless. So my "homework" was to discuss how I had been feeling with him. I approached him asking for financial help. It turned into the largest fight we had ever been in with him saying some really horrible things that I can never forgive and forget. All my hard work has not been for nothing.
I have to start loving myself first and filling up my piggy bank for myself. It is going to be soooo hard. The hardest battle of my life. I've always been strong. Fuck, I've been holding everyone up for years.
I am so sorry to babble on and on.... I wanted to say, if someone never contributes to your emotional piggy bank under the disguise of a Dom/Viking/Daddy... They are in the wrong. Real partners support and love you. When you ask for "Help" they say okay. That is love. Not putting you threw the emotional ringer to make themselves feel better.
Click to expand...

Brat! It's so good to see you posting here again.
I was in that same type of relationship with my ex-husband. It is a long journey to un-doing years of mental and emotional abuse, but you have started it!!! Keep walking that direction.

I am on a time constraint at the moment, but I wanted to let you know I've read your post, you are not alone, and you have as much support here as you would like. I've opened my PM for you if you'd like to talk privately.

You've made some very valuable points here. Thank you! :rose:
 
SquirtnBrat said:
Hello All Dad's and Doms, Littles and Middles!
I have been emotionally unavailable for a while but I wanted to say hello! I really enjoyed catching up on the first half of the new thread, I hope to read the rest soon. Thank you BFG for providing such a nice place!
I wanted to touch on a comment Wild Honey made about gas tanks, I refer to them as "emotional piggy banks", cute right? 🐖 Anywho for a while now I had the mindset that the other person in my relationship should be the one feeding and nuturing my emotions. If anyone should care, it should be him right? Well when one is in love with a narcissist, all they can see is their self. I don't know why I gave him so much control over my happiness! It has been a horrible journey. Fortunately I am getting stronger by myself despite his desire to keep knocking me down. I'm not the same person I was before. I see that now. Years of conditioning will have to be reversed. Although I feel like a "brat and a little" it doesn't mean I have to be stuck in a co-dependant mind set.
I want someone who will cuddle me and care for me. I have always taken care of all my partners in every way... Emotionally, financially, physically... I have never taken care of me. It's so incredibly important! I'm finally working on it.
I think it finally clicked that our love is all wrong this past week. I have been seeing a therapist and talking things out with her. She asked why I couldn't talk about my feelings with "him". I talked about gaslighting and how my feeling with be downplayed regardless. So my "homework" was to discuss how I had been feeling with him. I approached him asking for financial help. It turned into the largest fight we had ever been in with him saying some really horrible things that I can never forgive and forget. All my hard work has not been for nothing.
I have to start loving myself first and filling up my piggy bank for myself. It is going to be soooo hard. The hardest battle of my life. I've always been strong. Fuck, I've been holding everyone up for years.
I am so sorry to babble on and on.... I wanted to say, if someone never contributes to your emotional piggy bank under the disguise of a Dom/Viking/Daddy... They are in the wrong. Real partners support and love you. When you ask for "Help" they say okay. That is love. Not putting you threw the emotional ringer to make themselves feel better.
Click to expand...
This made my eyes tear up. Love and support to you.
 
Brat

Hard but good right!?

I just wanted to say for completely different reasons than you seeing a therapist was the best thing I have ever done. You hang in there:)

I now think that everyone should go!:D

5 years later I am a completely different person and I like it....You will too :)
 
SquirtnBrat said:
Hello All Dad's and Doms, Littles and Middles!
I have been emotionally unavailable for a while but I wanted to say hello! I really enjoyed catching up on the first half of the new thread, I hope to read the rest soon. Thank you BFG for providing such a nice place!
I wanted to touch on a comment Wild Honey made about gas tanks, I refer to them as "emotional piggy banks", cute right? 🐖 Anywho for a while now I had the mindset that the other person in my relationship should be the one feeding and nuturing my emotions. If anyone should care, it should be him right? Well when one is in love with a narcissist, all they can see is their self. I don't know why I gave him so much control over my happiness! It has been a horrible journey. Fortunately I am getting stronger by myself despite his desire to keep knocking me down. I'm not the same person I was before. I see that now. Years of conditioning will have to be reversed. Although I feel like a "brat and a little" it doesn't mean I have to be stuck in a co-dependant mind set.
I want someone who will cuddle me and care for me. I have always taken care of all my partners in every way... Emotionally, financially, physically... I have never taken care of me. It's so incredibly important! I'm finally working on it.
I think it finally clicked that our love is all wrong this past week. I have been seeing a therapist and talking things out with her. She asked why I couldn't talk about my feelings with "him". I talked about gaslighting and how my feeling with be downplayed regardless. So my "homework" was to discuss how I had been feeling with him. I approached him asking for financial help. It turned into the largest fight we had ever been in with him saying some really horrible things that I can never forgive and forget. All my hard work has not been for nothing.
I have to start loving myself first and filling up my piggy bank for myself. It is going to be soooo hard. The hardest battle of my life. I've always been strong. Fuck, I've been holding everyone up for years.
I am so sorry to babble on and on.... I wanted to say, if someone never contributes to your emotional piggy bank under the disguise of a Dom/Viking/Daddy... They are in the wrong. Real partners support and love you. When you ask for "Help" they say okay. That is love. Not putting you threw the emotional ringer to make themselves feel better.
Click to expand...

OMG this resonates in my head so bad Brat. I am so sad you are going thru this. After seeing a family member and two families torn apart from this exact this thing, it all most made me cry. If it wasn't for the fact that it also makes me so angry that one person can treat another like that I would have.
I watched bullshit like this go on for 7 years, I tried and tried but I couldn't get thru, seeing my little girl like this was incredibly difficult.
However the story has a better ending, she much like you, one day said enough, and took it upon herself to do what needed to be done.
I am so glad you are finding the strength to fight back and take charge and care of YOU.
The best advise I could give you from what I learned is, kick him to the fucking kerb and don't look back. If he is not contributing to your emotional, financial, and general well being he's not a Dom, he is an asshole, sorry no other word for it.
A true Dom looks after their partner cares for them, about them, and their well being. A Narcissist care's about no one, and nothing but themselves, all the rest is bullshit, lies, and gaslighting.

I am sorry if I sound a bit harsh about this, it's because I feel very strongly, after seeing peoples lives totally destroyed by this behavior, and to me it's absolutely an unacceptable way to treat anyone or anything.

Hang in there Brat, you are strong, you can do it, no doubt it will be difficult, keep at it, you will win.
I am sure you will find lots of help and support on here, from those who have been there done that. I hate to see and hear people that suffering like this at the hands of others in the name of a D/S relationship.
Good luck stay strong, I know you can do it.
 
RustyIron said:
OMG this resonates in my head so bad Brat. I am so sad you are going thru this. After seeing a family member and two families torn apart from this exact this thing, it all most made me cry. If it wasn't for the fact that it also makes me so angry that one person can treat another like that I would have.
I watched bullshit like this go on for 7 years, I tried and tried but I couldn't get thru, seeing my little girl like this was incredibly difficult.
However the story has a better ending, she much like you, one day said enough, and took it upon herself to do what needed to be done.
I am so glad you are finding the strength to fight back and take charge and care of YOU.
The best advise I could give you from what I learned is, kick him to the fucking kerb and don't look back. If he is not contributing to your emotional, financial, and general well being he's not a Dom, he is an asshole, sorry no other word for it.
A true Dom looks after their partner cares for them, about them, and their well being. A Narcissist care's about no one, and nothing but themselves, all the rest is bullshit, lies, and gaslighting.

I am sorry if I sound a bit harsh about this, it's because I feel very strongly, after seeing peoples lives totally destroyed by this behavior, and to me it's absolutely an unacceptable way to treat anyone or anything.

Hang in there Brat, you are strong, you can do it, no doubt it will be difficult, keep at it, you will win.
I am sure you will find lots of help and support on here, from those who have been there done that. I hate to see and hear people that suffering like this at the hands of others in the name of a D/S relationship.
Good luck stay strong, I know you can do it.
Click to expand...

Amen! Preach brother!
 
Hi everyone. It's been a while. I seem to have misplaced my little side and I miss her very much. I think she's scared of the medical stuff going on right now. But it's really good to see this thread flourishing. :kiss::cattail::rose::kiss::kiss:
 
INeedLove said:
Hi everyone. It's been a while. I seem to have misplaced my little side and I miss her very much. I think she's scared of the medical stuff going on right now. But it's really good to see this thread flourishing. :kiss::cattail::rose::kiss::kiss:
Click to expand...

Hi INeedLove ~ so good to see you. Missed your voice around here. Sending you hugs as you face scary medical stuff. May you find your little side. I believe our little sides have a magic that can help guide and give us insight to pathways through big bad scary life events. :heart::heart:

:kiss::kiss:
 
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