UK and Ireland Thread.

Status
Not open for further replies.
Something cheered me up last night. :)

And I haven't cried today, so yeah, today's a good day. Gotta run with it while I can :cool:

I want to multi-quote the entire previous page, but I'll settle for just chuckling at you and your cheery something.
 
I want to multi-quote the entire previous page, but I'll settle for just chuckling at you and your cheery something.

:kiss: I like making you chuckle.

And no, no need to multi-quote. I don't ever delete what I write, even if I kind of regret it. It's written, it's done. People can go back and read if they can be bothered. :rolleyes:
 
*walks in and promptly slips on a banana skin someone has left on the floor*
 
You know, you say the nicest things. 😕


I'm awake!! Sheesh. Actually I don't think I am - I can't type. :eek:


You've stuffed him already?! You don't hang around BFG. :p What did he do to piss you off?

Well, that took long enough! Where the hell have you been?? Huh???
 
Well, that took long enough! Where the hell have you been?? Huh???

Sorry! I was having a dream where Scarlett Johansson was abusing me and I didn't want to wake up.

I'm here now though. I think I'll make some cardboard cut outs of people so you can set then up in a morning and not feel lonely!
 
Sorry! I was having a dream where Scarlett Johansson was abusing me and I didn't want to wake up.

I'm here now though. I think I'll make some cardboard cut outs of people so you can set then up in a morning and not feel lonely!

Well normally I'd apologise, and be disappointed that I wasn't there to join in with good old Scarlett, but I am feeling petulant. So yes - stop your dreaming and come and entertain me here.

I don't want cardboard cut outs. If it must be an alternative, then make bean bag ones. So I can either lay on top of them, or throw them at people if they come near me. :D
 
Well normally I'd apologise, and be disappointed that I wasn't there to join in with good old Scarlett, but I am feeling petulant. So yes - stop your dreaming and come and entertain me here.

I don't want cardboard cut outs. If it must be an alternative, then make bean bag ones. So I can either lay on top of them, or throw them at people if they come near me. :D

Petulant? You? I'd never have believed it.

Well if you do sling bean bag cut outs at people, at least it'll make a change from biting their balls off with your teeth. :eek: Yes, I've heard the stories.

I don't know how entertaining I'll be. I'm currently half asleep (no change there then, I admit) but I'm also trying to work out how to put together a sex doll I bought from Ikea. It seemed like a good idea at the time but the instructions told me to screw tightly and I did... I just ended up with a splinter in my cock and her legs fell off.

#MiddleClassProblems.
 
Petulant? You? I'd never have believed it.

Well if you do sling bean bag cut outs at people, at least it'll make a change from biting their balls off with your teeth. :eek: Yes, I've heard the stories.

I don't know how entertaining I'll be. I'm currently half asleep (no change there then, I admit) but I'm also trying to work out how to put together a sex doll I bought from Ikea. It seemed like a good idea at the time but the instructions told me to screw tightly and I did... I just ended up with a splinter in my cock and her legs fell off.

#MiddleClassProblems.

I think you hashtagged that wrongly. I'm pretty sure it should have been

#desperateidiotproblems
 
Petulant? You? I'd never have believed it.

Well if you do sling bean bag cut outs at people, at least it'll make a change from biting their balls off with your teeth. :eek: Yes, I've heard the stories.

I don't know how entertaining I'll be. I'm currently half asleep (no change there then, I admit) but I'm also trying to work out how to put together a sex doll I bought from Ikea. It seemed like a good idea at the time but the instructions told me to screw tightly and I did... I just ended up with a splinter in my cock and her legs fell off.

#MiddleClassProblems.

And anyways. Stories are just stories. Unless you actually see a Litster post a picture of their bleeding balls, then it's just all made-up horror stories from either jealous peeps who don't have *this* going on, or some pissed-off dude who couldn't accept that I wasn't interested in his cock. (Ok, that one's just a mirage - no such dude exists out there...:eek:)
 
I think you hashtagged that wrongly. I'm pretty sure it should have been

#desperateidiotproblems

Desperate? It was Ikea you know. Only posh people go to Ikea... I think. *scratches head*

I'll give you the idiot. I grant you that.

Ahh well, back to good old Blow Up Brenda. Not a lot of fun but she's reliable. Mind you, she's covered in that much sellotape to keep the air in, she looks like she's off to a BDSM fair.

What are your plans for the weekend then?
 
And anyways. Stories are just stories. Unless you actually see a Litster post a picture of their bleeding balls, then it's just all made-up horror stories from either jealous peeps who don't have *this* going on, or some pissed-off dude who couldn't accept that I wasn't interested in his cock. (Ok, that one's just a mirage - no such dude exists out there...:eek:)

I was going to say.. show you a cock and you're off faster than Oscar Pistorius in the prison showers.
 
Desperate? It was Ikea you know. Only posh people go to Ikea... I think. *scratches head*

I'll give you the idiot. I grant you that.

Ahh well, back to good old Blow Up Brenda. Not a lot of fun but she's reliable. Mind you, she's covered in that much sellotape to keep the air in, she looks like she's off to a BDSM fair.

What are your plans for the weekend then?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6raVzrbqrM

I'm sure I've shared this before. But it never gets old!

I'm off to a BDSM fair...
 
You did post that before but seeing as its quite funny, I'll let you off.

Oh God! I shouldn't have promoted the fantasy of a dozen cocks for Tal to play with.

*Smacks forehead.*

Oh well, whilst she's busy dribbling, I can go watch xVideos.


Hmmmm? Did you say something? Sorry, was erm...preoccupied...


Don't insult Tim with the word "quite" - geez!!!
 
Hmmmm? Did you say something? Sorry, was erm...preoccupied...


Don't insult Tim with the word "quite" - geez!!!

Here's a tip, don't fall asleep with xVideos playing. I'm bound to be discovered watching something embarrassing.

Seriously I fell asleep. I don't know whether to go back to bed.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top