Does this make me gay?

Beck_Hart

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Feb 17, 2015
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I have always been attracked to women but last evening I was hanging out with a friend. After a few beers (John Courage) things got hazy. I don't remember the conversation but I wound up letting the man suck my cock. I had previously only ever been sucked off by women and girls. Thoughts? Feed back would be greatly appreciated. I think it was just a drunken occurrence but now I am not sure. I didn't know where else to pose the question. Apologies if this is not an appropriate place to ask the question.
 
Beck, I don't think a bit of a new sexual exploration makes you anything. Except that is shows you that your sexuality is not controlled by anxieties. So take some delight in that pal!

I'm long-time married and extremely satisfied with my monogamous hetero sex life. Do I imagine that having a guy suck me off might be something really different and pleasurable? Yes I do. Does that mean that some really sexually anxious men might need to call me gay? Probably. Do I care? No.
 
I think suckonsimon has hit the nail on the head. society is to hung up on sexuality vs sex. in my mind one is more who you are attracted to in a loving way the other is a pleasurable activity. if you enjoy sucking cock or getting fucked in the ass does not mean you want to marry the person you are with.
 
I agree with the statements. Just because you got drunk or whatever and a guy sucked your cock, doesnt really make you gay. Think of it in terms of sexual exploration. Don't get hung up on a label. Lots of guys out there have fun with both men and women.

I am a married man and I have had my share of fun with men as well. But I don't think that it makes me gay. At the end of it all, I enjoy being with my wife and that's all that matters.

So dont get too worked up. You can always try it again sober to see if it works for you. :)
 
I think that guys above here, have managed to put into far better words than I could, my first reaction to the original post, which was "Yeah? Cool. So what?? Just enjoy it :)"
 
Beck,

Yes, you are now officially gay, or "bi" if you prefer, at least according to the most moralistic elements of our society. Welcome to the subculture that is labelled or ridiculed because of what they do as consenting adults in their private lives.

You now have the opportunity to free yourself from the pinched mindset of a dominant culture that regards heterosexual monogamous relationships as the only legitimate basis for sexuality. Fortunately, it is not as bad as it used to be, but your own anxiety reflects how pervasive this attitude still is.

My only recommendation is that you ignore the labels and explore your sexuality in a safe way.
 
"I got sucked by a guy and I liked it, he sucked so hard he had to use cherry chapstick."

Er, if you liked it it makes you gay yeah.

I am always fascinated by that website 'Straight or Gay?" You look up Katy Perry and it says that nyah, she is prolly not gay. But oh yeah she is gay too! Well, if you include Bi who 'really likes it.' Well hell for the kinda money THAT song made she sure liked it; MUST have. I mean god if I were her manager I'd go - and now, here's another lyric for you that will make another 100 mil: 'that girl is back and I have to like it, the last time I made a squillion...'

And then you look up Florence Welch and it goes 'nah, prolly not gay.' You HAVE to be kidding. She goes around kissing that boi Blake Lively ALL THE TIME.

And then you look up Kate Walsh and it says 'virtually certain - gay.' Which is sad for me 'cause I really like Walsh and I'm a guy!!
 
I don't believe that letting a guy suck your cock would make you gay, or even if you sucked his cock, it wouldn't make you gay. It just means that you enjoy sex in different forms. And even if it did, so what.
 
You are free to give yourself whatever label you like. Or to not label yourself at all. If you are concerned about it, then just don't label yourself gay. In my opinion, that would not make you gay, or even bi. You just had an experience. How was it? Did he want you to reciprocate?
 
No. I wouldn't say that experience made you anything but human. Even if it felt good and you returned the favor. Only you know how you feel when it comes to your sexuality. You might lean toward bi curious but like the other posters have said so what? Who gives a fuck? If you enjoyed it good for you. If not then you will not do it again. Simple as that in my opinion.
 
I was born and raised in San Francisco and was raised with the firm belief that everyone has their own thing going on. I have a lot of gay friends and I have never once heard one of them say that a heterosexual experience made them straight. Stuff happens in life and all our experiences make us who we are. Take the experience as just that. An experience that showed that you are a sexual human being and not above a new thing. Consider yourself on a higher level than those who judge.
 
First answer: Who the fuck cares?

Second answer: Are you still sexually attracted to women? If yes, then you're bisexual at most.
Would you do it again? Would you suck a guy off? Would you have an ongoing sexual relationship with another guy? Would you marry a guy? The fewer of these you answer 'yes' to, the closer you are to heterosexual; the more you answer 'yes' to, and assuming women still turn you on, the closer you are to bisexual (it's a continuum, dude, not automatically one or the other).

It's old and it's crude, but check out the Kinsey Scale. Note that your orientation is not necessarily fixed, but may change over the course of your life and depending on circumstances. You can have occasional homosexual fantasies or even experiences and still identify as (mostly) straight. See also Men who have sex with men.

And here's a quote for you: "For straight men who have sex with men, same-sex encounters aren't about romance or sexual attraction and desire, but about sexual and physiological arousal - "getting off" with another who's male and accessible. They don't sexually desire or get aroused by looking at other men, only by the sexual act." Personally, I'd argue that straight MSM are sexually attracted to other men, but only in the sense that they're attracted to what they see (or hope to see) as sexual in themselves - a validation of masculinity and what makes men sexy - even if that's reduced to just a hard cock. The guys who say "I'm not gay but I like cock" are saying, in essence, "dicks are sexy - I like mine, why shouldn't I like other dicks as well?" But that's only my opinion.

Enjoy. :)
 
Last edited:
Just to add to the majority of other posts;
No, you're not gay.

Being gay involves more than just 'getting off' with the same gender - regardless of who's doing the sucking, or whatever else.
 
to answer the question no it does not make you gay. And secondly you were intoxicated so you did not have a clear mind anyway. If you ever have sex with a guy and you and not drunk and you like who cares labels do not describe a person
 
I was born and raised in San Francisco and was raised with the firm belief that everyone has their own thing going on. I have a lot of gay friends and I have never once heard one of them say that a heterosexual experience made them straight. Stuff happens in life and all our experiences make us who we are. Take the experience as just that. An experience that showed that you are a sexual human being and not above a new thing. Consider yourself on a higher level than those who judge.

Love your attitude :)
 
I have always been attracked to women but last evening I was hanging out with a friend. After a few beers (John Courage) things got hazy. I don't remember the conversation but I wound up letting the man suck my cock. I had previously only ever been sucked off by women and girls. Thoughts? Feed back would be greatly appreciated. I think it was just a drunken occurrence but now I am not sure. I didn't know where else to pose the question. Apologies if this is not an appropriate place to ask the question.

I think it makes you luckier than most.
 
You are obviously just a man that enjoys getting your Cock sucked and I don't think that makes you gay...it makes you a man.

Unless at the moment he was sucking you off you suddenly realized "I am not attracted to women, I love men!"....which I have never heard or seen happen. I know a lot of men that enjoy oral sex with other men and do not in any way consider themselves gay. It is just a damn orgasm...enjoy it and don't overthink it.
 
Not everything has to have a name.

Hopefully we will sooner later develop a world in which people can merely BE without having to worry about labels
 
Agreed. I was happily married when I first experimented with a guy and did it just for fun. If you know you prefer women then no worries my friend, it's all good. Nothing wrong with enjoying the best of both worlds.
 
I think suckonsimon has hit the nail on the head. society is to hung up on sexuality vs sex. in my mind one is more who you are attracted to in a loving way the other is a pleasurable activity. if you enjoy sucking cock or getting fucked in the ass does not mean you want to marry the person you are with.


Very well said Warnock. Most intelligent thing I've heard all day, lol.
 
First answer: Who the fuck cares?

Second answer: Are you still sexually attracted to women? If yes, then you're bisexual at most.
Would you do it again? Would you suck a guy off? Would you have an ongoing sexual relationship with another guy? Would you marry a guy? The fewer of these you answer 'yes' to, the closer you are to heterosexual; the more you answer 'yes' to, and assuming women still turn you on, the closer you are to bisexual (it's a continuum, dude, not automatically one or the other).


It's old and it's crude, but check out the Kinsey Scale. Note that your orientation is not necessarily fixed, but may change over the course of your life and depending on circumstances. You can have occasional homosexual fantasies or even experiences and still identify as (mostly) straight. See also Men who have sex with men.

And here's a quote for you: "For straight men who have sex with men, same-sex encounters aren't about romance or sexual attraction and desire, but about sexual and physiological arousal - "getting off" with another who's male and accessible. They don't sexually desire or get aroused by looking at other men, only by the sexual act." Personally, I'd argue that straight MSM are sexually attracted to other men, but only in the sense that they're attracted to what they see (or hope to see) as sexual in themselves - a validation of masculinity and what makes men sexy - even if that's reduced to just a hard cock. The guys who say "I'm not gay but I like cock" are saying, in essence, "dicks are sexy - I like mine, why shouldn't I like other dicks as well?" But that's only my opinion.

Enjoy. :)

Wow! Very well put.
 
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