Couples sharing (myth or might work)

[AshleyBeckem]

Curious to hear what others thing about couples that share (ie swingers)....

With so many marriages ending up in divorce. Just thinking about solutions or ideas to keep couples together. Clearly love brought two people together. Hell, is it even possible in today's world for couples to stay together for 10, 15, or 20 years?

I would like to think that couples can stay together for 20 years. Now, I also hope that those 20 years are affair free. With that said, we all become attractive to others from time to time. Hopefully most will not act on that attraction unless they have their spouses approval....

So, can two couples get together and share more than milk and cookies?

Thoughts?

 

[John_Whittaker0826]

Absolutely! But it must be understood that there are always going to be boundaries, safe spaces and words, and a complete trust in one another.

We've been swinging off and on for nearly 20 years and are probably more in love today than ever. Swinging isn't the reason, but it has sure given us a different perspective to look at things from.

 

[Biwife_hubby]

Wife and I have been having some serious conversations about trying this sometime. We decided that if it is going to happen, boundaries must be set and discussed with the other couple, it will be a one time thing unless both of us like it and are fully into it, and we are in the same room at the time of the events. We also decided that if at any point one or both of us is uncomfortable, we are free to say so and stop anything that is going on.

 

[peterthelicker]

I have been in swinging situations as the single male both at parties and with a couple. Definitely each couple sets there own boundaries. For some the first dance of the evening is reserved for husband and wife but not the first fuck! Some may not kiss while that is not an issue for others. Some are same room only while some separate.

Having said all that, the swingers I know have some of the most solid relationships, they simply like to fuck for fun.

 

[magicalmoments]

Absolutely! But it must be understood that there are always going to be boundaries, safe spaces and words, and a complete trust in one another.

We've been swinging off and on for nearly 20 years and are probably more in love today than ever. Swinging isn't the reason, but it has sure given us a different perspective to look at things from.

Says it all really. Respect, trust, boundaries and love, not necessarily in that order.

If you are using partner swapping as an argument/reason for staying together you're headed for disaster.

If one partner tries to control or manipulate the other into participating then you're headed for disaster.

It's certainly not going to be for everyone but there are plenty of couples who have been together for a long time that make it work for them.

 

[sharona55]

no myth at all...works well if both are on the same page, if not, it can be a disaster

 

[KinkyGAGuy]

Following boundaries is key, and there can be no jealousy what so ever. If there are any issues in your marriage, swinging is not going to fix them.

If anybody has self esteem issues, this can be an issue as well. I was dating a woman a few years ago that is bi. We met a woman at a club who agreed to join us for the evening, for me it was an awesome night, all parties seemed very much satisfied. A few days later, I got bombarded with questions from my girl, about whether or not she was as good as the other woman. I tried to explain to her, it was strange! Yes it is new and exciting. No matter what i tried to do, it wasn't the right answer. This was a self esteem issue, she didn't think she could compare to the other woman, which led to us splitting up.

I am currently seeing a couple, the man has resigned himself that he cannot please his wife, you can see that it bothers him, but on the other side of that he wants to be a cuck. The wife makes sure that he is either involved or is aware that we are having sex. This is turning their marriage upside down. He is beginning to hate me, and she is beginning to despise him.
I believe i must remove myself from this situation.

 

[klippert]

Curious to hear what others thing about couples that share (ie swingers)....

With so many marriages ending up in divorce. Just thinking about solutions or ideas to keep couples together. Clearly love brought two people together. Hell, is it even possible in today's world for couples to stay together for 10, 15, or 20 years?

I would like to think that couples can stay together for 20 years. Now, I also hope that those 20 years are affair free. With that said, we all become attractive to others from time to time. Hopefully most will not act on that attraction unless they have their spouses approval....

So, can two couples get together and share more than milk and cookies?

Thoughts?

First.....the quote "With so many Marriages ending up in divorced"...This is untrue. recent (actual) research, has shown the opposite, so, your wish of 20yrs marriage isn't a dream...That said.

Yes but NO, two cpl can. in my opinion. As long as both Relationships are strong, and both cpls have rules....to which, I can't say.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for approximately 15 years. During this time we have made strong friendships with other lifestyle couples. We have seen some marriages thrive and others fall apart. For the most part, the couples who ended up in divorce had problems unrelated to swinging. In one case, swinging made a bad marriage worse. (Mostly due to the husband's unreasonable demands. But make no mistake, that marriage was doomed anyway due to other issues).

Overall, swinging can't save a bad marriage, but it can pull one apart. Swinging can make a strong marriage even better, but it can also erode a good marriage if both partners are not on the same page.

Many of the couples we know who have been swinging as long as us or longer take frequent breaks from the lifestyle, sometimes as long as a year or two. Another couple we know, however, goes out and plays every weekend--for the past 8 years running.

 

[Ltsmooth]

Sharing....

Have been sharing my wife for roughly 4 years now. It was a complete surprise to her the first time but since then we have talked about it and both understand the limitations and open communication that must go on between the two of us. We have been married 19+ yrs and feel that this is only adding to our relationship. Currently we have 2 other men that I share my wife with (including a BBC bull).

 

[tjernst]

Have been sharing my wife for roughly 4 years now. It was a complete surprise to her the first time but since then we have talked about it and both understand the limitations and open communication that must go on between the two of us. We have been married 19+ yrs and feel that this is only adding to our relationship. Currently we have 2 other men that I share my wife with (including a BBC bull).

Have shared mine hundreds of times. Love seeing her in action.

 

[gr8one23]

Have shared mine hundreds of times. Love seeing her in action.

Damn...that's hot!

 

[DeceptiveSpeed]

Sure it can work. It takes communication, trust and patience. It's not for everyone. But if you can separate love from sex, then maybe it can work out for you

 

[lakesailer_mi]

First.....the quote "With so many Marriages ending up in divorced"...This is untrue. recent (actual) research, has shown the opposite, so, your wish of 20yrs marriage isn't a dream...That said.

Yes but NO, two cpl can. in my opinion. As long as both Relationships are strong, and both cpls have rules....to which, I can't say.

Klippert makes two important points. and because I'm annoying, I'm going to add to them.

Divorce is dropping, but more importantly, in general there is little evidence that a lack of sex is really what drives divorces. It may appear that way, but in reality, the lack of sex is a symptom of much bigger problems. And those problems are damn unlikely to be solved by swinging.

If a couple is honest with each other and communicating and has a strong relationship, then if they want to swing, great. I can see the fun in that!
But there has to be good communication first, and good understanding from both people. If you have that, your marriage is going to be fine, IMO, regardless. The swinging doesn't fix it, it's the ability to communicate and resolve issues.


And what the dude above me said too!

 

[junk_yard]

Curious to hear what others thing about couples that share (ie swingers)....

With so many marriages ending up in divorce. Just thinking about solutions or ideas to keep couples together. Clearly love brought two people together. Hell, is it even possible in today's world for couples to stay together for 10, 15, or 20 years?

I would like to think that couples can stay together for 20 years. Now, I also hope that those 20 years are affair free. With that said, we all become attractive to others from time to time. Hopefully most will not act on that attraction unless they have their spouses approval....

So, can two couples get together and share more than milk and cookies?

Thoughts?

Funny you should bring that subject up... I am on my third marriage... won't go into any more details about my current situation, but I will discuss my second. I was a "player" in those days... and didn't think twice about fucking someone else whenever the opportunity happened. That marriage lasted 14 years and we had no children. After we divorced, (I caught her with another man) I discovered that she was possibly more of a slut that I was... she had many affairs that she very carefully hid from me, although I was very suspicious of her.

Perhaps, we could have salvaged that union had we discussed our situations and been able to accept the truth. I have often thought about that. Back then I wasn't at all willing to share my wife or allow her liberties that I took. Today I would certainly look at that as an excellent opportunity for a great lifestyle, that of being open with each other sexually, and having the freedom to enjon an open marriage. I would love that... but it will certainly never happen now.

Ahhhh... I could go on... PM me if you would like to discuss this further.

 

[Quantified]

We've been married for 17 years. Swinging is fun for us, but not something we do often.

I definitely think it's possible for "normal" couples to swing and remain true to each other. There has to be a lot of talking about stuff before and after. If there are pre-existing jealousy issues, swinging/sharing likely will be an accelerant. Bad combination.

We'd like to play more often, but it can be arduous finding compatible couples and getting schedules synced and all that. Playtime, though, is a blast for us.

Just be open about everything. Talk about scenarios and what happens when x happens. Discuss limits. Respect limits.

 

[blksoldier]

sexy

Have been sharing my wife for roughly 4 years now. It was a complete surprise to her the first time but since then we have talked about it and both understand the limitations and open communication that must go on between the two of us. We have been married 19+ yrs and feel that this is only adding to our relationship. Currently we have 2 other men that I share my wife with (including a BBC bull).

this is too sexy what are your ages?

 

[notme1467]

like

this

http://33.media.tumblr.com/2d16682decc4f53d2574ea5f139a7dd3/tumblr_mlmki5ZR4Z1rxb2vwo1_1280.jpg

 

[peterthelicker]

Among my swinger friends the saying goes, "People get into swinging because of the husband and they staying in swinging because of the wife!"

 

[Mbiguy77]

My wife and I aren't exactly swingers. More like an open marriage. She enjoys sex and I can't always be there. Why should I deny her the opportunity to have sex? She knows I am attracted to men. She has seen me suck dick. We are both ok with it. I have seen her fuck men and women both with me present and me walking in on her. Doesn't bother me a bit. I want my wife sexually fulfilled.

 

[bibethhotwet]

25 years and we are still married. 25 years and we are swingers and practically since day one. The key here is COMPLETE honesty and communication. If those two things do not exist a marriage, whether sexually open or more traditional will not work. My husband and I both came into our relationship having both been in previous relationships where honesty was not a priority by our previous partners. So that was important to both of us up front. Naturally, new interests develop over time so the lines of communication must remain open. Not just sexually either. I think financial planning from early on is a must. I recall one couple we knew years ago that were very sexually compatible but not so financially. It ruined their marriage and the divorce was bitter to say the least.
In addition one or the other partner should never be forced to do something they do not want to do. We have seen that to with the same ruinous effect.

Keep the lines of honesty, integrity, communication and mutual respect open and a long lasting relationship most likely will result.

 

[MidnightDesire]

I have to ask all you experienced swingers it there, who brought up the idea of swinging? And how did you/they do it?

I'm just curious, you know, for science

 

[KinkyGAGuy]

I have to ask all you experienced swingers it there, who brought up the idea of swinging? And how did you/they do it?

I'm just curious, you know, for science

It is just like dating another couple, or another single person. In my experiences, this is how it has worked.
Go online to a swingers site, or if your town or city has a known swingers bar or club, go to a dwingers event, mingle as a couple, start a conversation with people, you will know if they are open to you. Watch the body language of the other couple, your spouse, and yourself. If things are going well the conversation will quickly turn to a sexual subject. You should not take it personal if the other couple is not into you. There are going to be times when the man or the woman in the couple are into one of you, but not both. The two of you should discuss how you will proceed if that is the case.

Of course you will have to decide if it is going to be same room sex or not, are the women bi, are the men bi, are the couple straight, are any of them homophobic and against accidental touching.
What is off limits?

If everything is a go, a few drinks a little dancing, some dirty dancing, a little playing around, and if all goes well, you are swinging with another couple by the end of the night.

I personally believe in same room, the women should be bi, the men can be or not.

There is also craigslist, where it usually a little more questionable, and can be more awkward.

 

[Hipshot1554]

Could it be...?

I have to ask all you experienced swingers it there, who brought up the idea of swinging? And how did you/they do it?

I'm just curious, you know, for science

This brings to mind something I've often wondered about. There must be couples out there that both have this fantasy, but have never expressed it. Communication is SO important.

 

[gk6h]

This brings to mind something I've often wondered about. There must be couples out there that both have this fantasy, but have never expressed it. Communication is SO important.

I think some women are nervous to tell their fantasy because they dont want to be judged on what makes them hot...your turn on is your turn on...you might never want to do in real life but it gets you going good deep in your mind.