How do you find a gay guy?

[IdahoRandy]

I am thinking about trying men. So how do you do it. Is there some look you give a man that lets him know? If I do find the gay cruise spots how do I respond to other men? I just herd there is a gay bar called Charlie's in a town near hear. Should I just go in there? What do you do in a gay bar? I am in real good shape 6'2" 190lbs. but am I too old at 60 to start thinking I might like men?

 

[DeanDexter]

I am thinking about trying men. So how do you do it. Is there some look you give a man that lets him know? If I do find the gay cruise spots how do I respond to other men? I just herd there is a gay bar called Charlie's in a town near hear. Should I just go in there? What do you do in a gay bar? I am in real good shape 6'2" 190lbs. but am I too old at 60 to start thinking I might like men?

I don't have an answer to your questions Randy, because those questions I have myself. But the comment about being too old to start thinking you might like men...I'm 46 and just now came to the realization that I am bisexual. Period. And, I believe I would prefer older men. So...don't think you're too old, my friend. Ever.

 

[Jason39]

Hi Randy,

Your never too old, although it can certainly feel that way until you get out there.

I'm 39, and fairly recently decided I wanted to try being with a man. I was in a similar situation to you, except there are no gay bars near me at all. There are like 3 cruising spots in my town, but, I've never been into casual sex. I have actually only been with 2 girls in my life, and while I decided to try a new kind of sex (Which I enjoy very much!!), I still don't want to do so with random people.

If you don't mind random people, do a search on google, as there are sites that help you find cruising spots in your area. You can also try sites like craigslists (in theory you can even find someone there to date and get to know, while slowly exploring if you want).

Of course a gay bar is probably a great option. Sadly I have no experience with that option. I will tell you that I felt....very insecure....because of my age, and the fact that I guess I identify mostly as a bottom. Most of the adds you see out there are tops looking for young bottom boys, not older bottoms, so I was afraid of rejection and that nobody (of the type I was looking for) would find me attractive.

I can testify that you can find someone. You may not be a bottom like me, which would probably make it even easier (Cause older male tops seem to be in very high demand hehe). I still don't think I'm super sexy material for a top, but, my current lover really seems to like my body, and gets turned by it That has made me feel very happy and content.

For me, it was about finding someone who had right sexual orientation (identified as a top) and who had similar interests...then getting to know them and work from there, but with both of us knowing what we liked in advance, so it wasn't akward at all. That worked out really well so far.

I'd suggest maybe going to a bar, talking to a few people and telling them your situation. I bet there are ways to dress etc that identify your interests and you can probably make friends that frequent the bar, and they will have tips for you on how to meet people there.

Another option is to make an add on a dating site, craigs etc...and be very specific about what you are looking for. You'll probably get a bunch of flaky adds, and I personally still wouldn't just do random NSA sex (instead look for someone that is willing to get to know you first!!)...but many people do go with NSA sex and are happy with it.

It does depend on where you live, but I'm in the boondocks....so if I can find someone in my small town, well, you can probably find someone almost anywhere at this point!!

Good luck to you

 

[richfun]

Good advice there, a gay sauna is another possibility. Look on line in your area, see about what opinions are on there too, to get a nice well run one.

Also if you are among gay people, relax, chat, often meet ups will then come about naturally.
Friendship and shared interests are a good basis for any sexual relationship. Love can develop from that and all sorts of things !
Don't despair if nothing comes of the first visit to gay bar etc. These things can take a little time.

 

[IntmtStrngr]

hey...

I am thinking about trying men. So how do you do it. Is there some look you give a man that lets him know? If I do find the gay cruise spots how do I respond to other men? I just herd there is a gay bar called Charlie's in a town near hear. Should I just go in there? What do you do in a gay bar? I am in real good shape 6'2" 190lbs. but am I too old at 60 to start thinking I might like men?

The 'look' you refer to whether it's intend target is male or female, the look is still the same and it does indeed mean the same thing. The only difference is the mind interpreting the action.
As for 'what do you do in a gay bar?' Well let me ask ya, what did ya do in a straight bar? You like to shoot pool? Rack em up baby! You like to dance. Then hit the floor and dance like there ain't nobody there and if there are people there who don't like the way you dance. Then change it up just a little and dance like you telling them all to fuck off!
As to the question of you being to "OLD" for gay sex... are you too old for sex in a general sense?
I knew a guy who was 95 years old, with a 13 inch dick, that the gals his age weren't interested in so he started having sex with guys. It must have been too much for him, because he didn't last six months before his heart gave out.
Myself, I'm 60 and it isn't that I'm trying to discover intimacy M2M. I'm just want to expand the scope of sensation that is available to the human experience. However, like yourself, I have been as yet unable to fulfill that avenue.

 

[klippert]

squirt dot org...

 

[Chrissi]

Hi Randy

In reverse: too old? Only if you think you are! I know many very sexy men who are your age and older (some are dear friends and some I still sleep with on occasion.) My bf is 60 and he is, well, he does it for me ;-).

Do a little research on Charlie's. Is it an easy going place or is it extremely cruisy? They might have normal nights and theme nights which can get cruisy. Go on an evening that is less hectic with no expectations.

Don't hide in a corner. Strike up a conversation. Be yourself, and as best you can try to stay relaxed.

If you start to feel frisky, eye contact and a smile have always worked for me. Of course a subtle or not so subtle look at his body works too!

Don't be too eager, don't drink too much (better yet limit yourself to a single beer - or whatever your favored beverage is)

Dress casual and comfortable. Unless it's a leather bar, you'll fit right in.

Most of all, have fun!

Just so you know, give meetup a try. It is not gay specific, but they have many gay groups, that do things that May interest you. Who knows, you may find a nice guy to boot!

Hugs
Topher

 

[IdahoRandy]

Thanks

Thank you all for your help. It gives me a good starting point. I think I will hit Charlie's and see what happens. Maybe I'll be able to tell you all the story.

 

[DeanDexter]

Question: Tops, Bottoms

[
Of course a gay bar is probably a great option. Sadly I have no experience with that option. I will tell you that I felt....very insecure....because of my age, and the fact that I guess I identify mostly as a bottom. Most of the adds you see out there are tops looking for young bottom boys, not older bottoms, so I was afraid of rejection and that nobody (of the type I was looking for) would find me attractive.

I can testify that you can find someone. You may not be a bottom like me, which would probably make it even easier (Cause older male tops seem to be in very high demand hehe). I still don't think I'm super sexy material for a top, but, my current lover really seems to like my body, and gets turned by it That has made me feel very happy and content.

For me, it was about finding someone who had right sexual orientation (identified as a top) and who had similar interests...then getting to know them and work from there, but with both of us knowing what we liked in advance, so it wasn't akward at all. That worked out really well so far.

Jason,

Hi, I was just scanning some LIT threads in GLBT and came across your post. Is Top and Bottom meaning Dominant and Submissive? I'm kind of new around here. And can you tell me what Charlie's is?

Thanks, bud.

Dean

 

[IdahoRandy]

Charlie's is just a gay bar.

 

[LustreMunky]

you send me a pm. case closed.

 

[robertreams]

go to a gay bar and act straight. They will love you.

 

[Lazy_lay]

go to a gay bar and act straight. They will love you.

How do you find a gay guy?

Ear rings at least sometimes is a give away.

 

[LustreMunky]

I done told you. I even put the link to my pms in my sig to make it easier to notice.

 

[datalife]

I am thinking about trying men. So how do you do it. Is there some look you give a man that lets him know? If I do find the gay cruise spots how do I respond to other men? I just herd there is a gay bar called Charlie's in a town near hear. Should I just go in there? What do you do in a gay bar? I am in real good shape 6'2" 190lbs. but am I too old at 60 to start thinking I might like men?

what ever you do becareful, and make sure it is what you want

 

[IdahoRandy]

Not sure

what ever you do becareful, and make sure it is what you want

Thanks datalife. That's just it. Sometimes I want to; and then sometimes it discusses me. No offense to anybody. I think deep down I just want to suck MY OWN COCK. And that can't happen with a 6" dick. A little phycology here. lol

 

[marriedny]

try website

try this website ....nice guys ......silverdaddies dot com

 

[robertreams]

At a gay bar. Duh

 

[DeanDexter]

How to find local friends...

This has been mentioned a few times, but I've finally checked it out and it's a good site to find people with like interests close to you: silverdaddies.com. You can tighten up the search parameters and still find men everywhere around you, it seems like.