Wanting a woman 18-74, perfect 10 body, rich and willing to leave all her shit to me

[BluKitten]

Have to run up to Crest supermarket since we are out of milk. If anyladies want to get hammered in the dairy section just meet me there.

What kind of hammer will you be using?

 

[IhateClowns]

What kind of hammer will you be using?

Ball and peen

 

[BluKitten]

Ball and peen

All right! Look for over by the Greek yogurt.

 

[IhateClowns]

All right! Look for over by the Greek yogurt.

Yeast infection?

 

[BluKitten]

Yeast infection?

You know it! All that itchy curd stuff! Yogurt really helps!

 

[IhateClowns]

You know it! All that itchy curd stuff! Yogurt really helps!

Like eating a loaf of bread.

 

[BluKitten]

Like eating a loaf of bread.

Toasted or right out of the package?

 

[IhateClowns]

I need some strange puss puss tonight. Ladies step up and come give me a ride. Please bring a vibrator or something as I only last about 32 seconds an then I am done. This way you are guaranteed to get yourself off after I leave.

 

[BlueEyedGent]

OMG , this is my first visit to this off the wall, funny as hell thread!

I haven't stopped laughing .....LOL

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

Yes I am an average fellow with a modest sized penis who is looking for a woman who shares simliar interests to myself. Those interests include breathing and well that is about it. I am limiting myself to women between the ages of 18-74 years old because let's face it, 75 is just getting up there in age.

Also you must have a cam and be willing to shamelessly spread eagle whenever I ask you to without the promise of me actually giving a shit after I have my orgasm. As a matter of fact I might "make-up" and excuse as to why my cam shut off at the exact moment of my orgasm, such as a power outtage or my dog ate my power cord.

I think that pretty much sums me up in a nutshell. Where do I sign those Will papers?

Can she be a former he?

 

[IhateClowns]

Can she be a former he?

Nope not for me. I need au natural. I don't even like fake tits.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

Nope not for me. I need au natural. I don't even like fake tits.

aaaahh well. I guess all the lonelies down in South Beach will stay lonely then. So sad.

 

[IhateClowns]

aaaahh well. I guess all the lonelies down in South Beach will stay lonely then. So sad.

I have to leave some for other people.

 

[IhateClowns]

Wow. Just realized this thread got moved out of the personals section. That stings. I am posting a personal ad to find me some hot snatch and it gets moved. That is screwed up.

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Wow. Just realized this thread got moved out of the personals section. That stings. I am posting a personal ad to find me some hot snatch and it gets moved. That is screwed up.

And now it's back in the PG.

Hilarious reading.

 

[Chaingun]

And now it's back in the PG.

Hilarious reading.

Assuming that this is his serious side, if he ever posts a thread meant to be funny, I might die laughing.

 

[IhateClowns]

And now it's back in the PG.

Hilarious reading.

I have no idea why it was moved.

 

[IhateClowns]

Assuming that this is his serious side, if he ever posts a thread meant to be funny, I might die laughing.

It is totally serious. Please don't laugh.

 

[yossi]

I have no idea why it was moved.

Jealously over your success with the ladies, obviously.

 

[IhateClowns]

Jealously over your success with the ladies, obviously.

The other ads on there aren't successful???? That is impossible.

 

[yossi]

The other ads on there aren't successful???? That is impossible.

Hard to believe, right? But my statistics show that 12/10 Lit personals fail within the first 5 minutes of posting. It's a tragedy, really.

 

[IhateClowns]

Hard to believe, right? But my statistics show that 12/10 Lit personals fail within the first 5 minutes of posting. It's a tragedy, really.

Mine was a success. I have been laid sooooo much from this.

 

[Chaingun]

It is totally serious. Please don't laugh.

You shut your whore mouth!

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Mine was a success. I have been laid sooooo much from this.

Did you happen to get pics to share with all of us?

 

[IhateClowns]

You shut your whore mouth!

I just got hard. Weird.