Wanting a woman 18-74, perfect 10 body, rich and willing to leave all her shit to me

[luvnmyboys]

i needed that laugh today. thank you!

 

[IhateClowns]

Ladies I apologize for the break, but I needed to recoup. There are some seriously slutty whores on here and I just had to ice my balls and let the carpet burns heal.

Now that I am healed I need a lady to meet me at the Academy Sports and Outdoors. I need some tennis shoes and a new kayak. I will let you buy them for me for the price of you giving me a blow job.

 

[IhateClowns]

The obligatory:

"Why won't any women respond to my I wanna fuck you without knowing you"

Bump

 

[IhateClowns]

The:

"It's been 5 minute, fuck my life"

Bump

 

[Ellafun]

Damn, when's that baby coming??

 

[lordskane]

75 is to old? You obviously arn't lonley enoug, just go without any for a couple more years and those ladies in the wheelchairs will start looking mighty tempting!

 

[softkisses]

Hey there, Clown Boy!

Sorry I been off the radar. I spent last week at the spa gettin' some of my liver spots lightened and a couple of warts frozen off of my wimmen parts. But I'm back now and ready to try to hook up again. Unless your neighbor Butch is free....he sure did make good use of that fake butter a coupla weeks ago!

 

[IhateClowns]

Damn, when's that baby coming??

Not soon enough

 

[IhateClowns]

75 is to old? You obviously arn't lonley enoug, just go without any for a couple more years and those ladies in the wheelchairs will start looking mighty tempting!

74 is my cut-off. The problem with the world today is that people do not know their limitations. Mine is 74. 75 is just creepy

 

[IhateClowns]

Ok ladies I am back from my 2 week relationship with Gertrude and her grand daughter. The things you can do with a few generations at the same time. Just amazing.

So I will be at Office Depot making some copies and if there are some horny women out there that want to meet me in the stationary aisle just let me know.

 

[dutchrain]

Ok ladies I am back from my 2 week relationship with Gertrude and her grand daughter. The things you can do with a few generations at the same time. Just amazing.

So I will be at Office Depot making some copies and if there are some horny women out there that want to meet me in the stationary aisle just let me know.

Two weeks?
That is quite long!

 

[Weaseldiesel]

How the fuck did I miss this shit??

I applaud you IHC, funny as fuck. I've got up to page 3 so far! (Bit disappointed no tits on page 3, that's a UK joke). I've had to stop reading now as my 8 year old keeps asking me what is so funny!!

Keep up the good work I look forward to reading the rest later, although I don't know how you are going to top making a puppet with a 74 year old pussy lol

 

[Weaseldiesel]

Just had a thought!

You should add in your personal about any ladies over 60 with Parkinson's preferred, that way your going to get a better wank!

And another thing that worries me, what if your 74 years old has a daddy fetish, how you going to get around that one?

 

[IhateClowns]

Two weeks?
That is quite long!

Just like my...

Who am I kidding. I am not long. I am HUGE! That is right ladies. My 17 incher is as big as a baby's arm holding an apple. Come on ladies I am laying on my bed in a 3 piece suit jerking my cock with a bow tie.

 

[IhateClowns]

How the fuck did I miss this shit??

I applaud you IHC, funny as fuck. I've got up to page 3 so far! (Bit disappointed no tits on page 3, that's a UK joke). I've had to stop reading now as my 8 year old keeps asking me what is so funny!!

Keep up the good work I look forward to reading the rest later, although I don't know how you are going to top making a puppet with a 74 year old pussy lol

Just had a thought!

You should add in your personal about any ladies over 60 with Parkinson's preferred, that way your going to get a better wank!

And another thing that worries me, what if your 74 years old has a daddy fetish, how you going to get around that one?

The problem with women who have Michael J Fox syndrome the issue is they have chipped teeth and terrible nails. Plus it requires me to carry a small wooden block at all times, so I can shove it in her pie hole every time she comes across a disco ball.

If my 74 year old fling has a daddy fetish then I will just ask him to join in and we can double team her. They can gum each other while I shove my dick in her and play that game of wondering which hole I am actually in. I always hope it is the vagina because a 74 year olds asshole has been through a lot in its lifetime.

 

[IhateClowns]

Ladies, tonight is the night to get our fuck on. I have a vat of Crisco, a rolling pin and a painters tarp. Whose ready for some hatchet wound pounding?

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Ladies, tonight is the night to get our fuck on. I have a vat of Crisco, a rolling pin and a painters tarp. Whose ready for some hatchet wound pounding?

oh..Hell no baby...you tore me up behind the dumpster at Lowes last time.. I still can't Shit right....

I'm gonna have to pass tonight..

 

[IhateClowns]

oh..Hell no baby...you tore me up behind the dumpster at Lowes last time.. I still can't Shit right....

I'm gonna have to pass tonight..

Hence the Crisco. Please realize if your ass is tore up then my cock is peeling like a fruit roll-up.

 

[BluKitten]

Hence the Crisco. Please realize if your ass is tore up then my cock is peeling like a fruit roll-up.

I love fruit roll-ups! I bite down on them and stretch them out as far as I can get them!

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Hence the Crisco. Please realize if your ass is tore up then my cock is peeling like a fruit roll-up.

ooh!! I'm sorry I didn't respond right away!! I had to sweep the kitchen then try and take that shit...

But I'm all better now..

Hrmm..peeling pecker, huh? Well WTHellz, man???? You better bring your wing man then..you can still hold a camera, right?

 

[IhateClowns]

I love fruit roll-ups! I bite down on them and stretch them out as far as I can get them!

The bloody ones?

 

[IhateClowns]

ooh!! I'm sorry I didn't respond right away!! I had to sweep the kitchen then try and take that shit...

But I'm all better now..

Hrmm..peeling pecker, huh? Well WTHellz, man???? You better bring your wing man then..you can still hold a camera, right?

The only good thing about a peeling pecker is you can count the rings to get an exact age of it.

 

[Eeyore007]

Lmao

 

[IhateClowns]

Lmao

As long as you are not pointing and laughing then all is good

 

[IhateClowns]

Have to run up to Crest supermarket since we are out of milk. If anyladies want to get hammered in the dairy section just meet me there.