Favorite passages from non-existent books

"Belch!" he encouraged. "Belch with all your life! As only when a man belches is he at one with his body and the wind. Only while belching is a man of the trees, the clouds, the grass. Only while belching can a man be said to be creating air. Creating air! Imagine!"
And belch I did. It was a wondrous, thundering thing. It rattled the walls and frightened the dog. It was flavored with pepperoni and regret. It was a poem of offensive, expectorated odor. It was glorious in its ugliness.
"Excuse me," I did not say, for when have you heard the trees apologize for moving, or the clouds apologize for being fluffy, or the grass apologize for its verdant laziness? No, I did not apologize. I am man. I am air and desire. I belched.


John Harper Burger Lewis, Burps I Remember
 
I dream of a day when a man will be judged not by the color of his ink, but by the content of his character recognition software.

Alfonse Contoro, The Invisible Ink Man: An Autobiography.
 
1st RULE: You do not talk about BREAKFAST CLUB.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about BREAKFAST CLUB.

--Breakfight Club
 
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