Your best or your worst PM or IM opening lines... and if you want your reactions ...
- Thread starter RedHairedandFriendly
- Start date
RedHairedandFriendly
Too much red on Red?
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2005
- Posts
- 112,724
I knew that!
And a good PMer person you were too. 
Until that last one --- "bye" -- what was up with that. 
(just kiddin'). I have gotten both of these! The first one I've gotten twice - OMG (OMG said with sarcasm)
Hi
25-m here. My SO is 43, and I've been happy with her, but recently she has been wanting me to do kinkier and kinkier things. Some of it is a turnon, I admit, but some of them seem kind of risky. I want to make her happy. Care to chat?
Hi,
39 - f - here. I have a brain and can think beyond my vagina.
RedHairedandFriendly
Too much red on Red?
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- Apr 20, 2005
- Posts
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o_so_wet
Beach Babe :)
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2010
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- 26,517
*snicker*...I got this one 3 times till I finally called him out on it...dumb ass
There's another one who sends a whole damn story with my username pasted in for the female character. I've now gotten it twice, so I'm sure that gets sent out to many women with their names pasted in. I've read some of his posts, and apparently he thinks he's God's gift to women...smh
o_so_wet
Beach Babe :)
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- Sep 6, 2010
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- 26,517
Sensualdreamer
~Queen of Tease~
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2010
- Posts
- 23,462
I get PMs regularly, and many PMs are from people who've been members for years w/ no profile, and usually they're a lurker or post sporadically. Most PMs (9 out of 10) I usually read and delete w/o replying.
This PM not only took the cake it took the bakery. Spelling, abbreviations (really is it *THAT* hard to type "you"), and punctuation aside I don't know if the author even knows what a paragraph is. *Le Sigh*
It hurt me to even read it.
~~~
you are very sexy i would love to have you in the shower with the warm water running down your sexy body you in the corner under the shower head with one of your legs up on the side of the tub i would be under you licking your clit in circles as the water runs down your breast i want to spread your pussy lips and stick my tongue deep inside your hot cave and tongue fuck your inside i want you to erupt all inside my mouth i want to swallow all your juices ill massage your clit with my thumb as i slide my tongue in and out your wet wet and then when i feel you start to shake i will grab your ass cheeks and pull u closer to my face i will bury my face in your pussy then make u gush all down my tongue then i would carry you over to the bed lay u face down lick u down ya spine down ur ass cheeks have you bend over and let me finish tongueing you down from the back you will fuck my face doggey style ill slap that ass as u grind it back on this tongue u will feel ur warm juices running down ya thighs then i will lay under you and u will bounce that pussy up and down on my face ride my face reversed cow girl i will have you squirting ya cum all over my face and then u laying on ur back candles burning around the room i will begin to suck on ur nipples as i caress ya clit with m fingers i want to lick you down ya stomach past your hot throbbing pussy down your legs to your ankles let me suck each of your toes as i make your pussy wettier then i will let you sit on my lap and slide ya hot juicy pussy on to my thick throbbing dick i want you to grind your pussy all over my dick as i suck ya nipples ill have my hand on ya hips guiding you up and down this dick i want ur pussy to start throbbing on my dick as u get ready to explode all on my dick thats when ill grab ur shoulders and pull u down harder on my dick i want your juices running all down my nuts then want to stand your up against the wall u put your hands on the walls and bend over as i spank that ass n slide my thick dick in your hot pussy you will feel your pussy stretch with my dick and will bend forward and grab your breast as you grind dat pussy back on this dick wnat you to fuck me harder and harder want you to make my legs shake as this dick start to throb non stoped ready to explode all inside thats gushy pussy
This PM not only took the cake it took the bakery. Spelling, abbreviations (really is it *THAT* hard to type "you"
), and punctuation aside I don't know if the author even knows what a paragraph is. *Le Sigh*It hurt me to even read it.
~~~
you are very sexy i would love to have you in the shower with the warm water running down your sexy body you in the corner under the shower head with one of your legs up on the side of the tub i would be under you licking your clit in circles as the water runs down your breast i want to spread your pussy lips and stick my tongue deep inside your hot cave and tongue fuck your inside i want you to erupt all inside my mouth i want to swallow all your juices ill massage your clit with my thumb as i slide my tongue in and out your wet wet and then when i feel you start to shake i will grab your ass cheeks and pull u closer to my face i will bury my face in your pussy then make u gush all down my tongue then i would carry you over to the bed lay u face down lick u down ya spine down ur ass cheeks have you bend over and let me finish tongueing you down from the back you will fuck my face doggey style ill slap that ass as u grind it back on this tongue u will feel ur warm juices running down ya thighs then i will lay under you and u will bounce that pussy up and down on my face ride my face reversed cow girl i will have you squirting ya cum all over my face and then u laying on ur back candles burning around the room i will begin to suck on ur nipples as i caress ya clit with m fingers i want to lick you down ya stomach past your hot throbbing pussy down your legs to your ankles let me suck each of your toes as i make your pussy wettier then i will let you sit on my lap and slide ya hot juicy pussy on to my thick throbbing dick i want you to grind your pussy all over my dick as i suck ya nipples ill have my hand on ya hips guiding you up and down this dick i want ur pussy to start throbbing on my dick as u get ready to explode all on my dick thats when ill grab ur shoulders and pull u down harder on my dick i want your juices running all down my nuts then want to stand your up against the wall u put your hands on the walls and bend over as i spank that ass n slide my thick dick in your hot pussy you will feel your pussy stretch with my dick and will bend forward and grab your breast as you grind dat pussy back on this dick wnat you to fuck me harder and harder want you to make my legs shake as this dick start to throb non stoped ready to explode all inside thats gushy pussy
I couldn't even read beyond the first couple lines. It hurt my brain too much. Shit, my 9 year old can write a better paragraph (on a different topic, of course).
I get PMs regularly, and many PMs are from people who've been members for years w/ no profile, and usually they're a lurker or post sporadically. Most PMs (9 out of 10) I usually read and delete w/o replying.
This PM not only took the cake it took the bakery. Spelling, abbreviations (really is it *THAT* hard to type "you"
It hurt me to even read it.
~~~
you are very sexy i would love to have you in the shower with the warm water running down your sexy body you in the corner under the shower head with one of your legs up on the side of the tub i would be under you licking your clit in circles as the water runs down your breast i want to spread your pussy lips and stick my tongue deep inside your hot cave and tongue fuck your inside i want you to erupt all inside my mouth i want to swallow all your juices ill massage your clit with my thumb as i slide my tongue in and out your wet wet and then when i feel you start to shake i will grab your ass cheeks and pull u closer to my face i will bury my face in your pussy then make u gush all down my tongue then i would carry you over to the bed lay u face down lick u down ya spine down ur ass cheeks have you bend over and let me finish tongueing you down from the back you will fuck my face doggey style ill slap that ass as u grind it back on this tongue u will feel ur warm juices running down ya thighs then i will lay under you and u will bounce that pussy up and down on my face ride my face reversed cow girl i will have you squirting ya cum all over my face and then u laying on ur back candles burning around the room i will begin to suck on ur nipples as i caress ya clit with m fingers i want to lick you down ya stomach past your hot throbbing pussy down your legs to your ankles let me suck each of your toes as i make your pussy wettier then i will let you sit on my lap and slide ya hot juicy pussy on to my thick throbbing dick i want you to grind your pussy all over my dick as i suck ya nipples ill have my hand on ya hips guiding you up and down this dick i want ur pussy to start throbbing on my dick as u get ready to explode all on my dick thats when ill grab ur shoulders and pull u down harder on my dick i want your juices running all down my nuts then want to stand your up against the wall u put your hands on the walls and bend over as i spank that ass n slide my thick dick in your hot pussy you will feel your pussy stretch with my dick and will bend forward and grab your breast as you grind dat pussy back on this dick wnat you to fuck me harder and harder want you to make my legs shake as this dick start to throb non stoped ready to explode all inside thats gushy pussy
RedHairedandFriendly
Too much red on Red?
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2005
- Posts
- 112,724
I didn't know there was that much in that piece of shit until I edited it.
Jimbo34
Literotica Guru
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- Nov 15, 2005
- Posts
- 2,381
Kudos to taking the time to even edit that mind puke.. My eyes started to vibrate just trying to read it.I didn't know there was that much in that piece of shit until I edited it.
Slow Ride469
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2003
- Posts
- 49,419
I get PMs regularly, and many PMs are from people who've been members for years w/ no profile, and usually they're a lurker or post sporadically. Most PMs (9 out of 10) I usually read and delete w/o replying.
This PM not only took the cake it took the bakery. Spelling, abbreviations (really is it *THAT* hard to type "you"
It hurt me to even read it.
~~~
you are very sexy i would love to have you in the shower with the warm water running down your sexy body you in the corner under the shower head with one of your legs up on the side of the tub i would be under you licking your clit in circles as the water runs down your breast i want to spread your pussy lips and stick my tongue deep inside your hot cave and tongue fuck your inside i want you to erupt all inside my mouth i want to swallow all your juices ill massage your clit with my thumb as i slide my tongue in and out your wet wet and then when i feel you start to shake i will grab your ass cheeks and pull u closer to my face i will bury my face in your pussy then make u gush all down my tongue then i would carry you over to the bed lay u face down lick u down ya spine down ur ass cheeks have you bend over and let me finish tongueing you down from the back you will fuck my face doggey style ill slap that ass as u grind it back on this tongue u will feel ur warm juices running down ya thighs then i will lay under you and u will bounce that pussy up and down on my face ride my face reversed cow girl i will have you squirting ya cum all over my face and then u laying on ur back candles burning around the room i will begin to suck on ur nipples as i caress ya clit with m fingers i want to lick you down ya stomach past your hot throbbing pussy down your legs to your ankles let me suck each of your toes as i make your pussy wettier then i will let you sit on my lap and slide ya hot juicy pussy on to my thick throbbing dick i want you to grind your pussy all over my dick as i suck ya nipples ill have my hand on ya hips guiding you up and down this dick i want ur pussy to start throbbing on my dick as u get ready to explode all on my dick thats when ill grab ur shoulders and pull u down harder on my dick i want your juices running all down my nuts then want to stand your up against the wall u put your hands on the walls and bend over as i spank that ass n slide my thick dick in your hot pussy you will feel your pussy stretch with my dick and will bend forward and grab your breast as you grind dat pussy back on this dick wnat you to fuck me harder and harder want you to make my legs shake as this dick start to throb non stoped ready to explode all inside thats gushy pussy
OMG R U kidding me? somebody copy and pasted my pm and sent it to everybody
Sensualdreamer
~Queen of Tease~
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2010
- Posts
- 23,462
LoL it took me damn near 3 days to actually get past the first line - it hurt every time I tried reading it!
I didn't know there was that much in that piece of shit until I edited it.
I think you missed a comma
LoL - no kidding!!!
NFW u sent that?! I didn't know u had an alt SMH
CountCunninglvr
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2011
- Posts
- 408
Thanks all...
Thank you for this thread Red. As a guy on here it's been very informative to read women's opinions about what annoys or just flat out angers some women in terms of etiquette or breaches of it rather. I'm not much of a conversationalist, so naturally unintended social blunders are something I see as kind of a pitfall in life.
However, based on some of the examples of just outright beligerance that you've compiled on here, I truly feel that my mind can be at greater ease conversing with women in the future. Thanks as well to any other female contributors, your opinions help me just as much.
Thank you for this thread Red. As a guy on here it's been very informative to read women's opinions about what annoys or just flat out angers some women in terms of etiquette or breaches of it rather. I'm not much of a conversationalist, so naturally unintended social blunders are something I see as kind of a pitfall in life.
However, based on some of the examples of just outright beligerance that you've compiled on here, I truly feel that my mind can be at greater ease conversing with women in the future. Thanks as well to any other female contributors, your opinions help me just as much.
RedHairedandFriendly
Too much red on Red?
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2005
- Posts
- 112,724
LOL - yeah, see how far that gets you.
That may help a guy out. May not. lolAnd make sure you only send it to one woman...unless you want to get called out here
It was painful to read. *shudders* Not much better after the edit either.
I'm pretty sure you can write better than that - why not send me a PM and I'll let ya know.
You're welcome and thanks for stopping in. Those PMs we hate must work on some women/men - I just don't know who they are.
B
BradBigBrain
Guest
I don't even bother with conversation, I just send dick pictures.
Jett_73
Literotica Guru
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BiGuyMN
~ Dorky Giant ~
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- May 1, 2006
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I've gotten laid 18 times using that!
RedHairedandFriendly
Too much red on Red?
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