Do you woo?

[intothewoods]

If you're the PYL in a relationship, do you woo your partner? Never? Sometimes?

If you know you don't have to seduce your partner to get what you want, but you also know it's a good idea to keep your pyl happy, how do you find a happy medium? Or do you just say fuck that, and do whatever you want?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well yeah, but you know what they say; "Forget the roses, send me the thorns."

The romantic gestures are a little bit different, yanno?

 

[FurryFury]

I like to keep us both sizzling. I don't seduce which indicates to me persuading someone against their will or better judgement. I might woo, which means to me, just creating a sexual atmosphere and general admiration for your partner and yourself. I don't think liking the thorns precludes enjoying the roses. I like both. Then again, I'm very into comparing and contrasting sensations.

FF

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I do request some wooing once in a while. Not often though, because we don't get a lot of time together, and we both want too many different other things for the time we're together. lol

When we get more time, I'll ask for more. Initiate it more too. Wooing and romance are important to me, the regular gestures, and the less so.

 

[Kojote]

Sorry for deviating from topic a bit (espiecially for I'm not really sure if I understand corrctly what 'woo' exactly means), but...

I don't seduce which indicates to me persuading someone against their will or better judgement.

Really??
I mean... really??

I see my self as a relly passionate creature. One that can sometimes concentrate all his attention on one thing or person. And I really mean all attention.
The thing or person in question changes. And I do not engross myself that way alwways. But more often than not it happens to be work...

Wouldn't she seduce me from time to time...
Puh...
That could well lead to some extended periods of time without any sex...
In fact it has in the past.

That's not really a source of conflict between us. We are self employed together and I can really get loads of work done in this state of mind.
The occassional attempt in seduction isn't as much 'persuasion' as it is just a reminder for some absent mind. An invitation. And a game, too...
For me, that is...

 

[Keroin]

L loves to woo. He is more into the wooing than I am.

What does he do? On an everyday level, he'll come up out of the blue and stroke my hair and say something like, "How did I get so lucky? How did I get such a beautiful wife?"

Bigger stuff usually involves a night out or a gift. And if he's seriously wooing the night out will be to go do something I want but he's not really into - like the last Harry Potter movie, lol.

As with FF, I like the contrast of roses and thorns. I want both...greedy thing that I am.

 

[TheOlderGuy]

If you're the PYL in a relationship, do you woo your partner? Never? Sometimes?

If you know you don't have to seduce your partner to get what you want, but you also know it's a good idea to keep your pyl happy, how do you find a happy medium? Or do you just say fuck that, and do whatever you want?

I woo. Every time. But every time the woo is different, depending on that person in that moment -- as slight as the sedcutive look that says "You're mine" or as grand as the occassion merits. I let her know how lucky I am, and I make her feel how lucky she is.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I am a push over for a high powered woo-ing

This is a really good question. I look forward to more PYL answers

 

[midwestyankee]

I wouldn't know any other way to behave in a relationship.

 

[BiBunny]

Where have all of you been my whole life?

I've never had anyone try to woo me, but I think I would love it.

 

[wicked woman]

I wouldn't know any other way to behave in a relationship.

Yank, this may be true but there's something so wrong with your 'eat me tofu' AV beside this post.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yank, this may be true but there's something so wrong with your 'eat me tofu' AV beside this post.

Apparently there wasn't enough room for the "please." Would that have made it a more woo-worthy av?

 

[intothewoods]

I'm enjoying reading these answers. This popped into my head the other night as I realized -- my PYL doesn't have to woo me. He's not a big woo-er, although he does sometimes choose to make it more about me and not just about him. It just made me curious about the thought process.

 

[FurryFury]

What seduction means to me is clearly not the same thing it means to you. That's okay though.

FF

Sorry for deviating from topic a bit (espiecially for I'm not really sure if I understand corrctly what 'woo' exactly means), but...



Really??
I mean... really??

I see my self as a relly passionate creature. One that can sometimes concentrate all his attention on one thing or person. And I really mean all attention.
The thing or person in question changes. And I do not engross myself that way alwways. But more often than not it happens to be work...

Wouldn't she seduce me from time to time...
Puh...
That could well lead to some extended periods of time without any sex...
In fact it has in the past.

That's not really a source of conflict between us. We are self employed together and I can really get loads of work done in this state of mind.
The occassional attempt in seduction isn't as much 'persuasion' as it is just a reminder for some absent mind. An invitation. And a game, too...
For me, that is...

 

[Keroin]

I'm enjoying reading these answers. This popped into my head the other night as I realized -- my PYL doesn't have to woo me. He's not a big woo-er, although he does sometimes choose to make it more about me and not just about him. It just made me curious about the thought process.

Well, I think as with everything, it all comes down to the individual. I like a certain amount of woo and L is very physically and verbally affectionate. And while I don't "need" it, (I am definitely the less romantic of the two of us), I won't lie and tell you that I don't enjoy it.

However, we both place a very high value on the close relationships in our lives, with each other and with our friends, and we've always made a point of expressing our love and gratitude for the people in our inner circle. To us, the people we love should always know how much we appreciate their friendship.

So maybe the wooing is just a natural extension of that?

 

[intothewoods]

Well, I think as with everything, it all comes down to the individual. I like a certain amount of woo and L is very physically and verbally affectionate. And while I don't "need" it, (I am definitely the less romantic of the two of us), I won't lie and tell you that I don't enjoy it.

However, we both place a very high value on the close relationships in our lives, with each other and with our friends, and we've always made a point of expressing our love and gratitude for the people in our inner circle. To us, the people we love should always know how much we appreciate their friendship.

So maybe the wooing is just a natural extension of that?

Oh I am terrible at that. Mister Man says I'm like a guy - I'm not super affectionate either. So I don't like a lot of attention -- it makes me feel weird and annoyed -- but I do like some.

I'm working on this though. I don't know why I have a block on expressing my appreciation for people in my life. It's kind of unhealthy.

 

[ketalia]

My PYL's a Wooer, to some extent. But it's not like wining and dining and such. Neither one of us are big time romantics. Taking me out to 3 different used bookstores in an evening, or getting chinese take-away and driving halfway up a mountainside for a picnic at a scenic overlook in the middle of the night, (and having to explain to the Staties that we're not there for nefarious purposes) counts as wooing with us.

 

[switchbitch]

I love to woo and be wooed, it is after all merely foreplay, is it not? Slow stimulation mental and physical guaranteed to raise the temperature and get you precisely where you are wanted. A good wooing can bring me to the point whereI am colloquially put gagging for it. And if I woo my partner with just the right finesse I know I am going to be pleased by the enthusiastic response.the methods of wooing differ from person to person depending on the particular kinks, quirks and fetishes.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Affection is definitely a big part of it.

I've decided that, because I'm not going to be having children, that I want a lot of love, and affection, and romance. I want our lives to be full of those things.

But then, also, for me, that would be things like 'hey, lets go out to dinner tonight so you don't have to cook' and 'yes, you can ride the ride on lawnmower' and 'I won't make disgruntled noises while you oogle Gibbs on NCIS' and the occasional bunch of flowers.

 

[Kojote]

What seduction means to me is clearly not the same thing it means to you. That's okay though.

FF

That's... good then, I think? Isn't it?

 

[seela]

'yes, you can ride the ride on lawnmower'

OMG, I'd love to ride on lawnmower. And the machine they use to wash floors in supermarkets. And one of those small excavators and tractors. And basically any really big machine that's available in a miniature size.

We have a lot of romance in our relationship, mostly of the everyday variety. Like him taking me out for dinner or unloading the things from the dishwasher that go on high shelves (I'm 5'4"-ish, he's 6'6"-ish, it's just easier for him to reach the high shelves) or just cuddling me in the most unexpected moments.

I see seduction much along the lines of FF, so I don't do it. Neither does him, really. He's pretty straightforward about what he wants and when he wants it, but a certain romantic component is really imporant to me, to us and our relationship. Our romance just rarely has any sexual tones to it.

 

[JMohegan]

If you're the PYL in a relationship, do you woo your partner? Never? Sometimes?

If you know you don't have to seduce your partner to get what you want, but you also know it's a good idea to keep your pyl happy, how do you find a happy medium? Or do you just say fuck that, and do whatever you want?

Entreating, beseeching, begging, bribing = not my style.

Praising, pleasing, gifting, treating = natural expressions of affection, when the mood strikes.

Controlling, directing, leading astray (i.e., away from conventional sexual mores) = behavior borne of attachment & desire.

 

[JMohegan]

I like to keep us both sizzling. I don't seduce which indicates to me persuading someone against their will or better judgement. I might woo, which means to me, just creating a sexual atmosphere and general admiration for your partner and yourself. I don't think liking the thorns precludes enjoying the roses. I like both. Then again, I'm very into comparing and contrasting sensations.

FF

If you like the thorns, then they aren't really "thorns" are they?

That metaphor confounds me more than most.

 

[Keroin]

If you like the thorns, then they aren't really "thorns" are they?

That metaphor confounds me more than most.

The metaphor is more about the general perception of the image, not the individual experience. So, what most see as dark or painful or unpleasant, (the least desirable part of the plant), others see as pleasurable and desirable.

So, yes, to the minority the thorns are not, in fact, thorns. But, big picture, they are. Does that make more sense?

 

[StrayKat]

fuck that, and do whatever you want

I think I like this part the best.