Things you probably shouldn't insert...

[Essene]

Into your girlfriends cunt, or ass or whatever if you are trying to avoid injury. I was going to say "orifices" but you can put a porkchop in my mouth anyday.

Here I'll start.

We've already established that douche is a no-no.

How about:

Porkchops
A loaded submachine gun with a hair trigger.
Peeled bananas.

 

[ImOnIt]

Aardvarks. Lets work from there.

 

[Essene]

Aardvarks. Lets work from there.

Oooh. That's a good one. I have a good feeling this is going to be a well-rounded list.

I'm adding both mice and hamsters.

Dead or alive, that's just not a good idea.

 

[CaresseDArcy]

Oooh. That's a good one. I have a good feeling this is going to be a well-rounded list.

I'm adding both mice and hamsters.

Dead or alive, that's just not a good idea.

Ooo can't wait to see where this list goes...

Hmmm... could we just eliminate anything that's not categorized as human and is alive? (even if it does come when you call it )

 

[Essene]

Ooo can't wait to see where this list goes...

Hmmm... could we just eliminate anything that's not categorized as human and is alive? (even if it does come when you call it )

I don't know. I see the logic in your statement, but knowing that some people aren't (how shall I say this delicately?) very smart about these sorts of things, I'm kinda thinking that we should have a complete list.

Besides, the mere mention of aardvarks made me laugh. Why take that away?

 

[chy_girl]

Depending on the pair in question... Sperm.

 

[Essene]

Depending on the pair in question... Sperm.

This one will definitely be on the list, but in a sub sectional clause for things which may or may not be harmful depending upon the situation and parties involved.

I'm adding pie filling to the list. (Chy inspired me when she mentioned sperm.)

-And zombies.

 

[CaresseDArcy]

I don't know. I see the logic in your statement, but knowing that some people aren't (how shall I say this delicately?) very smart about these sorts of things, I'm kinda thinking that we should have a complete list.

Besides, the mere mention of aardvarks made me laugh. Why take that away?

Ohhh I completely agree… the comment was made as tongue in cheek due to the numerous and scary amount of times my sister, who’s a nurse, has been told “but it’s been trained to come by ___ *insert random means*”

I certainly don’t desire to take anything away. I very much look forward to the laughs this thread will provide. Plus, what you were trying to say, um delicately fit quite well with chy’s addition

That being said, I would add cigars…

 

[YourCaptor]

Swords
Bees
hamburgers
and fire

 

[lovebound]

I'll add...

Cutlery
Dry ice dildos
Day-old bread
Fresh baked bread
Your third cousin's aunt's mother's ex-husband's ex-wife's vintage collectable Elvis bust.

 

[KoPilot]

Poopy.

 

[DVS]

Your grandmother's urn...even if you use lube.
The Oscar you got last Sunday. Or maybe the Oscar you stole from your neighbor.
A 2 liter Coke bottle with Mentos inside.

 

[where]

meh, if I am happy putting it in my mouth, I'll put it in my cunt. assuming it's gonna fit.

so in my case, no liver, no, caviar and no live oysters on the shell.

 

[ecstaticsub]

No raw meat.

(what's wrong with a peeled banana in the ass? I have read about it being used in combo with a few other things as a form or anal play?)

I will also say that I have played with jello in my pussy and yes it was even the real sugar variety and I have any problems with yeast. Of course it was only in me until it was gobbled out within 15minutes and then I completely rinsed myself out with water.

Lots of things are ok..in moderation and with a bit of common sense.

 

[Chiara_searches]

Pop rocks followed by soda.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

Your cell phone. Unless of course you left it on vibrate.

 

[Essene]

No raw meat.

(what's wrong with a peeled banana in the ass? I have read about it being used in combo with a few other things as a form or anal play?)

I will also say that I have played with jello in my pussy and yes it was even the real sugar variety and I have any problems with yeast. Of course it was only in me until it was gobbled out within 15minutes and then I completely rinsed myself out with water.

Lots of things are ok..in moderation and with a bit of common sense.

*thinks*

I suppose a peeled banana in the ass could be okay. In the vag...I'm thinking it falls under "probably shouldn't".

I think sugar jello is still a "probably shouldn't". You have common sense, and hygienic standards. Some people do not. -And some people despite being smart could still technically get an infection. (One of my brothers ex girlfriends got one hell of an infection from this, and another infection at a later point in time from whipped cream.)

I'll move these items to the clause that includes sperm - because the use of the aforementioned items can be okay provided you are educated and sensible about them; and are prepared to deal with any negative consequences.

I'm adding:

Hot pokers
branding irons
whipped cream
microwave ovens

 

[ArchLady03]

torque-wrench set
bedside lamp
highly breakable Christmas ornaments
Paris Hilton

 

[JamieJ424]

Bicycle. The entire thing would be bad...certain parts might be okay.

 

[DVS]

torque-wrench set
bedside lamp
highly breakable Christmas ornaments
Paris Hilton

Pairs Hilton would be OK, as long as it's face first.


Chevrolet. The entire thing would be bad...certain parts might be okay.

 

[lovebound]

Pairs Hilton would be OK, as long as it's face first.

What if she has a foot fetish?

That being said... feet.

 

[DVS]

What if she has a foot fetish?

That being said... feet.

This ain't about her. She does as she's told, or else.

 

[lovebound]

This ain't about her. She does as she's told, or else.

Or else what


More for the list: tractor trailers and RVs. Also pitchforks.

 

[where]

I think shoes should probably go in that second category.

and for the first category;

Salt
hooves, living, dead or artificial (i guess artificial hooves might go on the second list, but why?)
raw baking yeast.
Bottles (can you say vacuum lock)
Road flares

um... pure sodium dildos?

Ford Pintos, nor any part either.

sick sick sick!

some of these responses are making me cross my legs.

 

[lovebound]

sick sick sick!

some of these responses are making me cross my legs.

I think we've created a 'cool down' thread.