Women- I Will Teach You New Masturbating Techniques

[useyou]

The amount of time that this "dumb bitch" has been here has nothing to do with the quality of her posts.

For example, you have been here since 2006 and still display the mental capacity of a 4 year old.

You went from 4 posts to 61 posts in 3 days....lol Seems you don't have much of a life. You enjoy spending your Saturday nights on Lit?

Regardless, even with your 61 posts you are still coming off like a dumb bitch.

 

[useyou]

Now this entertainment on a scale all it's own. I want to make sure I understand this Ad properly...You are in search of a woman over 25 plus fit, to contact you on line so you may teach her materbation techniques. She is to email you once a day and report on the completion of her assignment you have give previously. Your not a DOM, and/or Master, Top. Yet, you placed this Ad under BDSM Personals.

I have a couple of questions...If your not a DOM, Master or Top, why would any submissive women contact you? What are your qualification that proves YOU know more about my body than I do? Since, I've been exploring it for over 25 years, just a matter of fact. With being said, What else are you offering? A relationship? Intelligent conversation? I guess, I'm just not that daring to trust a person looking for me to send a pic of myself, and complete random assignments and email the results. Your ad was very entertaining to say the very least, I wish you well on your search of such a naive woman.

Best Wish

Mo,
Glad you find it all entertaining. For those of you who doubt that someone can show you more about your body then you could yourselves, think about this- Have you ever had a sex partner who showed you awesome techniques that you never dreamed of? If not I feel sorry for you, if so then you can see why my thread is not entertaining but can be fun for the woman smart enough to respond and be open to suggestions without being a doubting Thomas who keeps eyes shut.

To respond to your other remarks:
1) I stated over 25 and reasonably fit. Reasonably being the keyword.
2) You spelled masturbation wrong, while I'm not with the grammar police and I understand that people make spelling errors, masturbation should not be one of them since that is what we are discussing. Just shows your intelligence level. Since that is one of my requirements that would disqualify you.
3) As for me offering an relationship, yes if one develops. I have had several long term relationships, you need to ask some of the women in Lit (one great lady on this thread itself).
4) I placed an ad under the bondage personals because some of the tasks involve bondage. Duh.
5) I don't have to prove my "qualifications" to you or anyone else. If you responded to me like an adult you may have found out my qualifications.
6) I have dealt with many women and many have thought my assignments were awesome. These women were anything but naive. Naive women (and men) are the ones that think they know it all and that is always sad.

 

[useyou]

well useyou you prove you are a fool yet again you look for some thing but offer nothing in return except hot air. I haven't been on for two years and i had hoped you would have been laughed at enough so you just stopped coming back on or you just grew up. But i can see my hope was misplaced but since you love to talk bad about every one but your self you prove you are a worthless little man who is not a dom or a sub, nor a master or a slave, all you are is a troll annoying every one on this site tho i will admit i find you entertaining as so many others do.
So grow up and start acting your age or at least stop acting so ignorant.

but then again i guess for a ignorant brit there is not much hope for you . now every one i am not talking bad about the british but this so called man makes you all look bad sadly.

So useyou once again grow up and get a life and stop trolling this site because you make all of us who read your posts a little bit dumber each time.

Lieout, I remember you, you were the one who ran out of Lit two years ago with your tail between your legs. Now you emerge from yoru cave attempting to join the Lit sheep. Newsflash...they are the ones that made you run like a girlie girl.

As for me being an "ignorant brit", that puzzles me as I am not British and have never been to England. So that sentences makes me go, who is the ignorant one?

And your statement, ".....because you make all of us who read your posts a little bit dumber each time". That's not possible, you are at maximum dumbness now.

 

[chemistrystuden]

You went from 4 posts to 61 posts in 3 days....lol Seems you don't have much of a life. You enjoy spending your Saturday nights on Lit?

Regardless, even with your 61 posts you are still coming off like a dumb bitch.

lolololol. I'm a guy first of all, so I can't be a bitch.

You're the one trying to dominate women over the internet, so I guess you don't have much of a life either.

Also; you've been here since 2006. Four years. If anything, you're the one with no life.

Also; college student. I'm at school. I enjoy going on the internet on my days off.

Can you understand that, or do I have to dumb it down for you?

 

[useyou]

lolololol. I'm a guy first of all, so I can't be a bitch.

You're the one trying to dominate women over the internet, so I guess you don't have much of a life either.

Also; you've been here since 2006. Four years. If anything, you're the one with no life.

Also; college student. I'm at school. I enjoy going on the internet on my days off.

Can you understand that, or do I have to dumb it down for you?

You obviously aren't an English student because you wrote, "The amount of time that this "dumb bitch" has been here......." When reading that sentence you are in actuality calling yourself a bitch.

You are at school, aw how sweet you are still being educated. On your "days off" you go to internet porn sites to attempt to learn about women. How pathetic is that.

So here you are defending a 4 poster bitch, I bet you wish you had a white horse you pathetic shit. You are in college and yet you think you know about the entire world. Just wait until the real fucking world hits you. Enjoy your lala land now, for tomorrow will be hell for you. Nothing like a jolt out of lala land to wake your know it all ass up.

Bitch.

 

[Wyldfire]

Oh yes here we go. I've seen this one's kind many, many times. Oh so many claims of experience, one endorsement (Any bets that was his own alt?), and now anyone who makes a negative comment is met with "scathing rebuttals" and assurances that the OP is indeed much more intellegent than any other poster in the thread.

But in defense of the OP, he does indeed provide ammusement. I haven't laughed like this in a long time.

And now here he comes with his flames and "wittisms" in an attempt to prove his alpha male prowess. Bring it on lil asshat, bring it on. I could use the comedy you provide.

 

[useyou]

Oh yes here we go. I've seen this one's kind many, many times. Oh so many claims of experience, one endorsement (Any bets that was his own alt?), and now anyone who makes a negative comment is met with "scathing rebuttals" and assurances that the OP is indeed much more intellegent than any other poster in the thread.

But in defense of the OP, he does indeed provide ammusement. I haven't laughed like this in a long time.

And now here he comes with his flames and "wittisms" in an attempt to prove his alpha male prowess. Bring it on lil asshat, bring it on. I could use the comedy you provide.

You claim I'm my own alt? It's actually sad how you doubt, doubters never get anywhere in life so you have my sympathy. You are 33 years old and act like the chemistry student that posted previously. At least he is just out of diapers, what's your excuse?

Free life tip for you (despite you coming off like a bitch).....It's okay to question, but never make assumptions without first checking out the facts. Assuming just makes you look foolish.

By the way, how are those 32,000 plus posts coming along? Don't you think it's about time to come out of your room and see the world some? Another Tip....the world goes beyond Lit.

 

[Wyldfire]

You claim I'm my own alt? It's actually sad how you doubt, doubters never get anywhere in life so you have my sympathy. You are 33 years old and act like the chemistry student that posted previously. At least he is just out of diapers, what's your excuse?

Free life tip for you (despite you coming off like a bitch).....It's okay to question, but never make assumptions without first checking out the facts. Assuming just makes you look foolish.

By the way, how are those 32,000 plus posts coming along? Don't you think it's about time to come out of your room and see the world some? Another Tip....the world goes beyond Lit.

Oh sweetie, thank you for correcting me and the error of my ways. I am so sorry that my amount of life experience doesn't compare to yours. Thank you so very much for the life tip, I so very much needed it.

Okay, now that I have that silliness out of my system let's take this to the bone. In earlier posts you make a big deal of how few posts others have made and who they choose to defend and how long they've been here. Now you go off that I, a member here since what, '04, have too many posts? Get a grip monkey, you're making yourself look even more idiotic.

As to getting out of my room? Make me laugh dear, I get out quite enough. Usually to go to work where guys like you pay me for the pleasure of watching me dance, and no, they don't get to touch either. It's called a living.

On to other fine points. I so love it when a wannabe comes in making an ass of themselves making claims that they can do for women better than women can do for themselves. That's probably the biggest joke of this thread. In all of the posts you've made here you have done nothing but prove your arrogance and ego, none of which I might point out, turns healthy women on.

Come on now, continue with the holier than thou attitude sweetie, it's just so becoming on you.

 

[useyou]

Oh sweetie, thank you for correcting me and the error of my ways. I am so sorry that my amount of life experience doesn't compare to yours. Thank you so very much for the life tip, I so very much needed it.

Okay, now that I have that silliness out of my system let's take this to the bone. In earlier posts you make a big deal of how few posts others have made and who they choose to defend and how long they've been here. Now you go off that I, a member here since what, '04, have too many posts? Get a grip monkey, you're making yourself look even more idiotic.

As to getting out of my room? Make me laugh dear, I get out quite enough. Usually to go to work where guys like you pay me for the pleasure of watching me dance, and no, they don't get to touch either. It's called a living.

On to other fine points. I so love it when a wannabe comes in making an ass of themselves making claims that they can do for women better than women can do for themselves. That's probably the biggest joke of this thread. In all of the posts you've made here you have done nothing but prove your arrogance and ego, none of which I might point out, turns healthy women on.

Come on now, continue with the holier than thou attitude sweetie, it's just so becoming on you.

No problem on correcting your errors, you are welcomed.

As for your 32,000 plus posts, if you've been here since 2004 then that averages 5,333 per year or 14.6 per day every day for 2,190 days. Assuming you sleep eight hours per day, that comes to 1.1 post every waking hour or 1 post every 54 minutes of your life for the last six years. And you say you come out of your room? Hmm. Sounds to me like you are a pathetic shit surfing porn sites.

As for your supposed occupation as "a dancer". You are 33 years old, it's time to look for another profession, like Walmart clerk. But if dancing in front of a bunch of overweight, unshaven and smelly guys turns you on and pays the bills then good for you. I just think you will look funny very soon. In fact since you like the word entertaining you may very well become that, I hear lots of truck stops go for washed up sagging dancers after they hit 35. You can be a parking lot lizzard that pays well too. Boys and girls, this is why I stress....please get an education. Just another tip, no charge again. I'm so generous.

Maybe in your next life you will use your brain to make a living instead of your ass. You are a pathetic shit. Now, it's 5:00 PM, you have to do one of two things, go on Lit and read porn or dance like a fucking slut for money. Tis your life.

 

[chemistrystuden]

You obviously aren't an English student because you wrote, "The amount of time that this "dumb bitch" has been here......." When reading that sentence you are in actuality calling yourself a bitch.

You are at school, aw how sweet you are still being educated. On your "days off" you go to internet porn sites to attempt to learn about women. How pathetic is that.

So here you are defending a 4 poster bitch, I bet you wish you had a white horse you pathetic shit. You are in college and yet you think you know about the entire world. Just wait until the real fucking world hits you. Enjoy your lala land now, for tomorrow will be hell for you. Nothing like a jolt out of lala land to wake your know it all ass up.

Bitch.

You do realize that when I typed that sentence, I was referring to that "4 poster bitch" that you were harassing? So obviously, you're the one who has no skill at English. Or anything, for that matter.

Seeing how I'm only 19, yes, I'm still being educated. Obviously you weren't, and are jealous that I'm getting the education you never got. What's the matter, finally realizing that being a gas-station attendant is boring? I bet no college would take you in though - too stupid.

I'm not defending a "4 poster bitch". I was refuting the "point" you raised, remember? That number of posts have anything to with how valid your posts are? I assume you either forgot that, or you're just ignoring it. Based on your personality, I'm going with the latter.

Typical baby-boomer speech, by the way. "You're young, you've never experienced the world. I'm older, I know everything about anything!". I've been hearing that since I was in middle school, buddy. Want to know how many times it came true? Zero. So knock off that rhetoric, it bores me.

Oh, and by the way, if you're going to call someone out for spending time on a porn site, just remember how long this thread has been up and how long you've been trying to get someone to "show the ropes". Just how many women have taken you up on that offer? Not many, if this thread is still up after all that time...no wonder you're so upset. It must be such an upfront to your masculinity, to be ignored by so many women, and laughed at by so many people.

I would say "grow up", but you're older than me, so I assume that this is as "grown up" as you're going to get. Do us all a favor, and just delete this thread. Maybe you'll save some face.

I doubt it.

 

[ImOnIt]

OP is inconsistent and moody. He has not yet found himself. He should sit in the cellar with gruyere and merlot and wait to mature.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I know this dude! I saw you on an infomercial! 3 a.m.

It involved intense clitoril stimulation with a Shamwow.

 

[SirLeo]

I know this dude! I saw you on an infomercial! 3 a.m.

It involved intense clitoril stimulation with a Shamwow.

The beauty of which of course is that there is no need to worry about wet spots! Unless of course part of your scene is making your subbie/pet sleep on the wet spot! Muahaha

 

[Netzach]

I have discovered the most AWESOME male masturbation technique. All you need is some 200 grit and some rubbing alcohol, a dollar and a dream.

 

[Netzach]

I shall now go on an insane PMS ridden tirade because no one PM'ed me in the last ten seconds.

Bitches. You have NO IDEA what you're missing.

 

[graceanne]

Where did this thread come from? Did someone move it over here?

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Where did this thread come from? Did someone move it over here?

Yup.

And I'm glad, all this politics talk has been too serious. Time to point at the stupid and laugh some.

 

[useyou]

You do realize that when I typed that sentence, I was referring to that "4 poster bitch" that you were harassing? So obviously, you're the one who has no skill at English. Or anything, for that matter.

Seeing how I'm only 19, yes, I'm still being educated. Obviously you weren't, and are jealous that I'm getting the education you never got. What's the matter, finally realizing that being a gas-station attendant is boring? I bet no college would take you in though - too stupid.

I'm not defending a "4 poster bitch". I was refuting the "point" you raised, remember? That number of posts have anything to with how valid your posts are? I assume you either forgot that, or you're just ignoring it. Based on your personality, I'm going with the latter.

Typical baby-boomer speech, by the way. "You're young, you've never experienced the world. I'm older, I know everything about anything!". I've been hearing that since I was in middle school, buddy. Want to know how many times it came true? Zero. So knock off that rhetoric, it bores me.

Oh, and by the way, if you're going to call someone out for spending time on a porn site, just remember how long this thread has been up and how long you've been trying to get someone to "show the ropes". Just how many women have taken you up on that offer? Not many, if this thread is still up after all that time...no wonder you're so upset. It must be such an upfront to your masculinity, to be ignored by so many women, and laughed at by so many people.

I would say "grow up", but you're older than me, so I assume that this is as "grown up" as you're going to get. Do us all a favor, and just delete this thread. Maybe you'll save some face.

I doubt it.

<Seeing how I'm only 19, yes, I'm still being educated. Obviously you weren't, and are jealous that I'm getting the education you never got. What's the matter, finally realizing that being a gas-station attendant is boring? I bet no college would take you in though - too stupid.>

You have no idea who you are talking to do you? Sad you can't figure it out from my posts. You are inexperienced.

<Typical baby-boomer speech, by the way. "You're young, you've never experienced the world. I'm older, I know everything about anything!". I've been hearing that since I was in middle school, buddy. Want to know how many times it came true? Zero. So knock off that rhetoric, it bores me.>

So from 13 to age 19 you have seen none of the baby boomer advice come to pass. Maybe that is because at 19 you (and all 19 year olds) are still children who think they know but in reality don't. Do you really think baby boomers are telling you this stuff for their health? No they are telling you because that is reality, even though you haven't experienced it yet. Trust me son, at 19 you know very little and in 15 or 20 years you will understand that you still don't know it all, when you realize that you will know you have matured into an adult. So basically at 19 you think you know it all, but at 40 you will know you don't. Clear? Just more free advice from a gas station attendant.

<Just how many women have taken you up on that offer?>

Actually quite a lot. One responded on this board if you look back and read all the posts (before a Lit asshole moderater moved it to the WRONG group). I have had very intelligence women respond and some of those relationships have lasted many years. I'm not about to go into detail, but these women ranged from a doctor to a national media person. So yes I have enjoyed many and believe me the feeling was mutual.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Which dumbass moved this thread into our Café, and why? And then why did someone here wake up the dumbass OP?

And what are

... very intelligence women ...

?

 

[graceanne]

Which dumbass moved this thread into our Café, and why? And then why did someone here wake up the dumbass OP?

And what are

?

You'd think that people who talk about intelligence would at least check their grammar. Not that good grammar is important to intelligence, just that it looks really dumb when you don't even do a basic check before you write something about intelligence.

Reminds me of a kid in jr. high. Looking back he probably had a crush on me, but we had math together and he kept bragging about how smart he is and how he called himself infinite intelligence. Yadda yadda. After a week or so of this, I got annoyed and told him to spell it. He couldn't. Stopped calling himself infinite intelligence, though.

 

[DVS]

I'd like to take this opportunity to offer the women in this thread (because it seems everybody is hanging out here!) my expertise in sexual masturbation practices. This will not only include physical techniques or styles, but also the mental side of the art of personal pleasuring. And for the women who want to continue on, beyond that will be invited to my house for um...advanced education.

Body type? Well, you must have a body and that body should have all of the necessary parts for personal pleasure.

Age? Well, there should be an age cut off, so let's make it legal. If you can legally drink in your area, that's fine with me.

Did I forget anything? Oh yes, I'm just kidding. This thread is a bit silly, if you ask me. Anybody that says they can enhance your masturbation techniques is feeding you a line. In truth, it seems to me that any heterosexual woman who has submissive tendencies would enjoy a strong man taking charge of her personal pleasure. It's a natural part of her submissive nature.

Touching herself with his direction would surely seem like a new awareness in her mind. I don't think it takes any special ability on the man's part. It's a man and a woman interacting in a sexual way, on line. In the woman's mind, he can be anybody she wants him to be to enhance the experience even more.

Now, if this seems to work for someone who otherwise has a problem or mental wall, that's fine. I see no problem with this sort of thing, as long as no money is exchanging hands and the women aren't subjecting themselves to anything that could be used against them, in the future.

But this is one interesting thread to read. It's a nice change from most of the political crap and the idiots running around with guns.

 

[Keroin]

Which dumbass moved this thread into our Café, and why? And then why did someone here wake up the dumbass OP?

And what are

?

We are Very Intelligence Women who are come for taking over your planet. Resist is futile. See my giant protractor and falling on your knees in fear!!!

*masturbates*

 

[midwestyankee]

We are Very Intelligence Women who are come for taking over your planet. Resist is futile. See my giant protractor and falling on your knees in fear!!!

*masturbates*

You're an angle from Heavin!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

We are Very Intelligence Women who are come for taking over your planet. Resist is futile. See my giant protractor and falling on your knees in fear!!!

*farts in OP's face*

FTFY.

 

[Stella_Omega]

How...
...

...

Speshul.