The 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm'

[Keroin]

fucking and eating copious amounts of chocolate and leaving.

In a perfect world.

 

[Stella_Omega]

In a perfect world.

Hmm. How about steak and a blow job?

 

[Keroin]

Hmm. How about steak and a blow job and copious amounts of chocolate??

Sounds good!

 

[CutieMouse]

bummer, dude

Sorry to disappoint... I'm just more a fan of being told to stay still. And then trying very hard to do so.

Plus I have a bad wrist/shoulder, which means concerns over limbs going numb and such so if someone is really into rope, I'm not a good partner for them. Kinda like how if someone operates on a punishment dynamic *I'm not a good partner for them.* (I do not get punished. Period.)

I know... a submissive woman taking charge of her personal health, safety and relationship dynamics. Shocking.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Sounds good!

Copious amounts of laughter! and chocolate..

...Plus I have a bad wrist/shoulder, which means concerns over limbs going numb and such so if someone is really into rope, I'm not a good partner for them. Kinda like how if someone operates on a punishment dynamic *I'm not a good partner for them.* (I do not get punished. Period.)

I know... a submissive woman taking charge of her personal health, safety and relationship dynamics. Shocking.

Indeed shocking!

What about something simple, like wrists to ankles with your face on the pillows and your butt up in the air?

For a short time, like ten minutes or so? I can get a lot done in ten minutes....

 

[rida]

Indeed shocking!

What about something simple, like wrists to ankles with your face on the pillows and your butt up in the air?

For a short time, like ten minutes or so? I can get a lot done in ten minutes....

TSK TSK

A prime example of a Causal Player trying to string a poor submissive into her abusive grip.

 

[CutieMouse]

Copious amounts of laughter! and chocolate..

Indeed shocking!

What about something simple, like wrists to ankles with your face on the pillows and your butt up in the air?

For a short time, like ten minutes or so? I can get a lot done in ten minutes....

Nope.

See? See what I did there? I refused to change my boundaries just because someone on the internet wanted me to.

I shall now wave a magic wand over my head and turn myself into a unicorn.

 

[Stella_Omega]

TSK TSK

A prime example of a Causal Player trying to string a poor submissive into her abusive grip.

Curses, foiled again.

Nope.

See? See what I did there? I refused to change my boundaries just because someone on the internet wanted me to.

I shall now wave a magic wand over my head and turn myself into a unicorn.

Well, how about if you tie me up instead? Especially if that magic wand is a hitachi...

 

[satindesire]

*snicker* goat-fucker.

 

[chy_girl]

http://media-2.web.britannica.com/eb-media/96/124796-004-2F058109.jpg

Dude, thanks! I would so love for you to rescue me from this icy, cold water but if you're a parent, I'm just gonna have to decline. I have ethics, you know.

So, can I be in unethical, casual lit-lurv with you? Cause you rock so freaking hard...

>.<

Did your mother drop you on your head as a child? Seriously?!?! No one blames the victim so long as it's vanilla?!?! What the fuck planet are you FROM?

And since when does the BDSM community have the market on NSA/one night stands? And for that matter, who said a NSA/ONS had be involved for a rape to occur?

The topic of discussion is the 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm', n'est pas?

Yeah, like 42 pages ago. And you were the one to imply that there is no/less victimization outside of BDSM or in a relationship where the people love each other. That is patently a load of road apples.

I encourage readers to read the discussion and judge the matter for themselves.

They have been dear, and a few have been so compelled to de-lurk just to tell you how wrong you are. Thus resulting in the beginning of new friendships. With the ubber scary 'casual' debils.

Keep trying, you're encouraging some very cool people to hang around.

I believe the count is something like 300+ posts from me advocating love and challenging casual advocates to justify the lack of ethics inherent in casual 'bdsm', and 700+ posts from others trying to distract readers from the fact they cannot justify the lack of ethics in casual 'bdsm'.

Again, I encourage readers to read the discussion and judge the matter for themselves.

*rolls eyes*
I stand corrected once again and hold myself up as an example of hast making waste.

You are the one with the most individual posts. Better?

*snip*
The BDSM community is one of the few places where someone's sex life is other people's business.

QFT

I know I am!

I wake up in the morning and advocate the hell out of "casual playing," (mostly to my dog). Then I check the iron 25 times to make sure it's off, lick the light switch, recite Woodrow Wilson's plea for the League of Nations seven times (seven only, mind you!) and then, look out, baby, 'cause it's abuse time! I usually abuse 4 or 5 victims of all types before 10 a.m. Rock and Roll!

10am? Amateur.

I've done all that PLUS knitted a sweater out of dryer lint by 8:17am.

lightweight! I've done all that, as well as reform modern politics, caught oysters and conquered Rome by 8:16

ROFLMAO - it's very hard to explain the sudden outburst of laughter to children when it's on this forum.

And what kind of "vanilla group" would that be?

Uh, university frats, bars, any kind of party, book club at the corner bistro, prom, homecoming, study group at the night library...

I can think up some more if you need me too, but you get the idea.

So to be a member of said community one must abandon their right to privacy?

Nope. Very few people know what I do for a living, where I live, what relatives I'm in contact with, who my doctor is, or what my bed spread looks like.

They do, however, know if I have any communicable diseases, and diseases or disabilities that need watching during play, whether or not I shave my kitty, and what kind of underwear I like to wear there as opposed to the underwear brought along with my subbie clothes.

In other words, he's succeeded in uniting this board. Doesn't that sort of awesome power demand your respect?

There is a very, very fine line between "awesome power" and "dumb luck."

"Intellectually deaf" is both an awesome, and entirely accurate, phrase.

Thank you. Though I was a little worried about unintentionally offending any deaf members.

 

[Netzach]

So I've been tied up by someone I've never met before.

On the very first day I met him.

Yes HIM.

How did I survive this freaking harrowing ordeal?

There were 10 people in the room. Everyone had clothes on. I got to swing around in midair.

And Mr. Dangerfuckhead is going to tell me this is higher risk because it's an organized event than meeting your trueinternetslove in the woods with no one for miles?

 

[satindesire]

O
/]__
/
[][][]..........[][][]
[][][] \_\o..[][][]
[][][]..........[][][]
[][][]..........[][][]


/end thread/

 

[Stella_Omega]

You know what is really cute?

Four baby possums, all giving you the hairy eyeball while they chow down on kitty crunchies in your kitchen which they have invaded.

Q to the U to the teee, man.

 

[Soumis]

So I've been tied up by someone I've never met before.

On the very first day I met him.

Yes HIM.

How did I survive this freaking harrowing ordeal?

There were 10 people in the room. Everyone had clothes on. I got to swing around in midair.

And Mr. Dangerfuckhead is going to tell me this is higher risk because it's an organized event than meeting your trueinternetslove in the woods with no one for miles?

QFT. Maybe it makes me a coward, but I probably wouldn't have had the nerve to get involved in bdsm if it weren't for the public safety net my group gave me. I prefer to think it makes me smart and safe.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

O
/]__
/
[][][]..........[][][]
[][][] \_\o..[][][]
[][][]..........[][][]
[][][]..........[][][]


/end thread/

Holy fuck.

I had to squint for a second, but then I got it.

And yes I said "crap, that's awesome!' out loud to an empty room, too.

 

[BLoved]

goat-fucker

goat-fucker

And so it has been for 46 pages.

As one can expect, no one man can be heard over the howling of a lynch mob, and casual players and their advocates don't want anyone to hear me.

If you are new to the discussion and are interested in casual 'bdsm' I highly recommend this discussion to learn about the kind of dysfunctional behaviour one should expect from casual players and their advocates.

If you still wish to pursue casual 'bdsm', well, remember who it was who tried to warn you about the abuse you will endure.

You can learn the easy way, or you will learn the hard way ... either way you will learn casual 'bdsm' is synonymous with "abuse".

Casual 'BDSM' and Emotional Abuse: The Case for Love

I'm off to celebrate six weeks of sharing love and life with my Beloved.

Walking through a dream
I see you
My light in darkness breathing hope of new life
Now I live through you and you through me
Enchanting
I pray in my heart
That this dream never ends
I see me through your eyes

Breathing new life, flying high
Your love shines the way into paradise
So I offer my life
I offer my love for you
And my heart was never open
And my spirit never free
To the world that you have shown me
But my eyes could not envison
All the colours of love and of life evermore
Evermore

I see me through your eyes
Flying high
Your love shines the way into paradise
So I offer my life as a sacrifice
I live through your love
I live --
Through your life

I see you
I see -- you --

-- I See You (Avatar), lyrics by Simon Franglen, Kuk Harrill and James Horner

 

[chy_girl]

goat-fucker

goat-fucker

And so it has been for 46 pages.

Actually, Homburg didn't say anything about goat-fucking till page 30 and it was actually in response to something you said... Let's refresh, shall we?

Readers will have already noticed your lack of concern for stalking when a casual player is responsible.

Why should they believe you are any more concerned about rape when a casual player is the rapist?

Let's face it, you'll turn a blind eye to anything as long as your popularity with the casual players is on the line.

I can call what you do "goat-fucking", but without an actual goat it will be precisely as accurate as your stalking accusation.

Oh... See, less about name calling than you having earned yourself a nickname through willful ignorance.

And I was wrong, you're intellectually deaf and dumb... Which is kind of ironic given the Helen Keller thing a page or three ago.

As one can expect, no one man can be heard over the howling of a lynch mob, and casual players and their advocates don't want anyone to hear me.

No really, keep talking. Parts of this are hella-funny. And again, thanks for bringing out the lurkers... Very neat people with some awesome conversational skills. Thank you!

 

[Homburg]

Actually, Homburg didn't say anything about goat-fucking till page 30 and it was actually in response to something you said... Let's refresh, shall we?


Oh... See, less about name calling than you having earned yourself a nickname through willful ignorance.

*gasp*

Someone was paying attention? Oh, wait, you aren't him, so it would make sense that you paid attention.

I figured that particular bon mot would be lost on goat-fucker.

 

[chy_girl]

*gasp*

Someone was paying attention? Oh, wait, you aren't him, so it would make sense that you paid attention.

I figured that particular bon mot would be lost on goat-fucker.

I imagine it was lost on him, but I like to be helpful. And it's so nice to be helpful in pointing out the parts he might have missed.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I imagine it was lost on him, but I like to be helpful. And it's so nice to be helpful in pointing out the parts he might have missed.

And so easy to do, as well!

 

[WriterDom]

The ugly truth about “casual BDSM”

Yes, we knew of Bloved before he showed up here. Look at the sites he mentioned and you’ll see many of us are members there. Many under the same name. Yes, he was a threat to our lifestyle, and yes we banned him. We knew that eventually he’d show up here. Lit is not a BDSM site and there is no way we could ever have him banned for free speech. So we did what had to be done. Gang up on him to discredit his points and hope that he would leave. We appear to have been successful.

Don’t be deceived by appearances. Casual BDSM is as organized as any worldwide organization would be with 1000s of members.

Level one Doms.

Level one Doms know almost nothing about the organization. They exist online only. What they do get for membership is access to the low self esteem subs known as targets. There is a site he mentioned. I won’t disclose it here. But if you type in a city, it will return all the people both sub and Dom who signed up for the site. This is really just a front. Level one Doms are given an access code that instead brings up all the targets. But instead of profiles written by the subs, all the research done on the targets is revealed. Pictures, likes, dislikes, self esteem ratings, and true real life experience if known. Like the front site, they can get info on all the targets in their area. Their payback for this access is to provide inside information on all targets they contact. If they don’t provide enough information over a period of time they will be dropped. This is probably why you hear some subs complain of a Dom talking to them for weeks at a time and then disappearing. He got the info he wanted but wasn’t interested in actually meeting her.

Level two Doms

Level two Doms cannot join online but are recruited from the various interconnected groups and munches throughout the world. This process can take years and only a minority are even considered for membership. They have the same access to the website but usually they stick to playing with Level two subs. I’ll get to them in a minute.

Level Three

Level three exists but little is known about it. The leadership of causal BDSM. It’s rumored to look similar to the boardroom of a large international corporation like GE. But no one really knows for sure. All Level Two sees of Level Three is a monthly email with news and any new directives.

Level One subs

Don’t exist.

Level Two subs

Level two subs generally are the ones who have causal relationships with Level two Doms. The also get invited to Events. Events are extremely private. Held at various times throughout the world. Very similar in fact to the event shown on the movie, Eyes Wide Shut. Level Two subs can also request private parties/scenes with one, two, or several Level Two Doms and have the right of preapproval. Or they can have masked anonymous parties if so desired. In short, they are treated very well. And as you saw there are probably no louder defenders of causal BDSM than the female subs.

Some Level Two subs start out as targets, but certainly not all. What we look for mainly is exceptional women. Women who can be trusted.

Yes, we also have a FemDomme side along with GLBT people, but all of that is set up completely different with its own set of rules and protocol.

Please don’t take this as gospel. It could be just an attempt to divert him from the real ugly underbelly of casual BDSM.

 

[Stella_Omega]

FemDomme is hetero and has nothing to do with GLBT.

I could tell you about the queer Female D/s network, but then I would have to kill you.

I will say though, that we recruit a lot of women who began by venturing into the hetero organisation that WD talks about. These women don't really know what they want, and after a few mere couple of weeks many of them realise that men aren't going to do it for them.

The bait is usually a couple of those 1950's and 60's Lesbian Lust paperbacks. Sometimes we leave a Hitachi vibrator on the sidewalk, with a tripwire that pulls the woman right into our lair when she tries to pick it up.

But I have already said too much...

 

[satindesire]

Holy fuck.

I had to squint for a second, but then I got it.

And yes I said "crap, that's awesome!' out loud to an empty room, too.

Hi5.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

The ugly truth about “casual BDSM”

Yes, we knew of Bloved before he showed up here. Look at the sites he mentioned and you’ll see many of us are members there. Many under the same name. Yes, he was a threat to our lifestyle, and yes we banned him. We knew that eventually he’d show up here. Lit is not a BDSM site and there is no way we could ever have him banned for free speech. So we did what had to be done. Gang up on him to discredit his points and hope that he would leave. We appear to have been successful.

Don’t be deceived by appearances. Casual BDSM is as organized as any worldwide organization would be with 1000s of members.

Level one Doms.

Level one Doms know almost nothing about the organization. They exist online only. What they do get for membership is access to the low self esteem subs known as targets. There is a site he mentioned. I won’t disclose it here. But if you type in a city, it will return all the people both sub and Dom who signed up for the site. This is really just a front. Level one Doms are given an access code that instead brings up all the targets. But instead of profiles written by the subs, all the research done on the targets is revealed. Pictures, likes, dislikes, self esteem ratings, and true real life experience if known. Like the front site, they can get info on all the targets in their area. Their payback for this access is to provide inside information on all targets they contact. If they don’t provide enough information over a period of time they will be dropped. This is probably why you hear some subs complain of a Dom talking to them for weeks at a time and then disappearing. He got the info he wanted but wasn’t interested in actually meeting her.

Level two Doms

Level two Doms cannot join online but are recruited from the various interconnected groups and munches throughout the world. This process can take years and only a minority are even considered for membership. They have the same access to the website but usually they stick to playing with Level two subs. I’ll get to them in a minute.

Level Three

Level three exists but little is known about it. The leadership of causal BDSM. It’s rumored to look similar to the boardroom of a large international corporation like GE. But no one really knows for sure. All Level Two sees of Level Three is a monthly email with news and any new directives.

Level One subs

Don’t exist.

Level Two subs

Level two subs generally are the ones who have causal relationships with Level two Doms. The also get invited to Events. Events are extremely private. Held at various times throughout the world. Very similar in fact to the event shown on the movie, Eyes Wide Shut. Level Two subs can also request private parties/scenes with one, two, or several Level Two Doms and have the right of preapproval. Or they can have masked anonymous parties if so desired. In short, they are treated very well. And as you saw there are probably no louder defenders of causal BDSM than the female subs.

Some Level Two subs start out as targets, but certainly not all. What we look for mainly is exceptional women. Women who can be trusted.

Yes, we also have a FemDomme side along with GLBT people, but all of that is set up completely different with its own set of rules and protocol.

Please don’t take this as gospel. It could be just an attempt to divert him from the real ugly underbelly of casual BDSM.

At what point do I need to have a certain thetan level to advance in the casual BDSM community?

 

[satindesire]

At what point do I need to have a certain thetan level to advance in the casual BDSM community?

I lol'ed.

ETA: Stella, this is totally off topic, but you make a REALLY hot guy.