A question.

Sean

We'll see.
Joined
Feb 17, 2005
Posts
96,194
I keep hearing that subs become subs because they have the power to decide to give themselves to another.
Wouldn't that mean that they are the doms and are really manipulating those that think they have power over them?
 
I keep hearing that subs become subs because they have the power to decide to give themselves to another.
Wouldn't that mean that they are the doms and are really manipulating those that think they have power over them?

No.


I mean yes.

Sorry, I'm a switch.

bj
 
I keep hearing that subs become subs because they have the power to decide to give themselves to another.
Wouldn't that mean that they are the doms and are really manipulating those that think they have power over them?

Yes. It's all circular. Try it. You'll get so dizzy you won't be bored.:)
 
But where does that leave the doms? Doesn't that make them kind of pathetic?
 
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!!! I hereby dub you 'Sherlock BiBunny Holmes'! :D

*Tilts deerstalker hat back a bit and sucks at my pipe, my legs crossed*

Elementary, my dear Watson. Elementary indeed. ;)
 
I keep hearing that subs become subs because they have the power to decide to give themselves to another.
Wouldn't that mean that they are the doms and are really manipulating those that think they have power over them?

Nope.

It means that submissives are people. And that they are capable of deciding for themselves if a person who identifies as a Dominant is:

#1 - Actually a Dominant or not.

#2 - offering what the submissive is looking for in a partner and relationship.

#3 - trustworthy and responsible enough to offer their submission to.

Once they find someone who meets all of the above, then further negotiation to determine the nature and limits (if any) of the relationship may take place if a relationship develops.

Hope that furthers your education.
 
I keep hearing that subs become subs because they have the power to decide to give themselves to another.
Wouldn't that mean that they are the doms and are really manipulating those that think they have power over them?
No, subs does not have the power....... switches does! :devil:
 
I keep hearing that subs become subs because they have the power to decide to give themselves to another.
Wouldn't that mean that they are the doms and are really manipulating those that think they have power over them?

Yeah that's about the size of it... now quick go find a Domme and tell her what to do. Be sure and report back to us how well that worked out for ya. :devil:
 
OK, on the slim chance you want a serious reply...

If we take total power exchange out of the equation and focus purely on sexual submission (that doesn't leave the bedroom) between a male dom and female sub (cos it'll save me a load of slashes and read easier.): -

Both parties in a power exchange relationship go into it with deep seated personal needs. The sub has a need to be dominated and controlled. It fulfils her sexually. Maybe she likes to be treated rough, to serve or just to have someone else make all the decisions. She is there because she wants to submit. The dom obviously has the same needs and desires from the flipside of the coin. Both parties are in this for something that they want and need sexually.

Is your car in charge of you because it has needs and limits? No.

A sub will set limits and boundaries. If someone hands you the keys to a car, you don't throw it around at top speed, rev the shit out of it, use up all the petrol, burn the tyres out and then expect to use it again any time soon. It's the same with subs. They will tell a dom what they can and can't handle. If that matches with what the dom wants now and for any future encounters, they'll get together and play. The dom decides where he's driving, how fast or slow he wants to go, when to stop for a break and refuel and where the final destination will be. So a sub is not in control of her dom but he has a duty of care towards her if he expects to play with her again. Otherwise we get into abuse and nonconsent, which are no part of safe, sane, consensual BDSM.

Some people choose to apply this ethos to their whole lives together as a couple but the fundamentals that govern the relationship remain pretty much the same. This is also why doms talk about their subs/slaves as property, because that's the kind of responsibility the dom has, to ensure his property remains well maintained and usable.

That answer your question?
 
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I keep hearing that subs become subs because they have the power to decide to give themselves to another.
Wouldn't that mean that they are the doms and are really manipulating those that think they have power over them?

Mission: FAILED.
 
Lol that wouldn't start a riot...that just makes us think you are lacking in knowledge *shrugs*


Must try harder ;)
 
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