Females, how do you feel about submissive men in general?

[WriterDom]

And this isn't about bashing submissive men. Just curious.

 

[SubKekiLee]

I am not bashing submissive men in anyway since I am married to one...I just know I could never be a domme..

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

I won't be loved for my reply, but I prefer men as a leaders than pets who submit to a women. I always saw men as a leaders, so see them acting sheeply is just very hard for me.

 

[madetotakeit]

Two submissives would make a pretty boring party. It might make a great friendship. Kind of like the BDSM version of women having a gay best friend. We could talk Doms instead of guys. lol

If a guy has an occasional submissive streak, I don't see an issue. There is nothing wrong, in my opinion, with needing on occasion to let somebody else take over. Granted I am submissive so my outlook is quite skewed on how wonderful that can be. Plus, I have my times when I could be the aggressor. Every once in a while I need to pounce.

 

[Rox_shybutcurious]

I suppose I'll say neutral since my like or dislike of a man, or a woman for that matter, isn't based on just that one criteria. I've met a lot of men that I've enjoyed talking to and spending time with that had a less than dominate nature.

 

[Mazuri]

I said neutral as there are so many other things about a person to take into account than this one factor. I have been great friends with a guy who was extremely submissive, loved being stepped on by his lady and has a serious foot fetish. He was still a great friend to whom I could talk about anything.

My husband, we are discovering through conversation (16 more days!), is neither alpha nor omega male, he simply is. While I'd love for him to be more forceful about some things, I'd not want to change the way he is because that is the man I fell in love with. It is simply one piece of the puzzle that is him.

 

[Netzach]

While there are submales who are total dicks and while I get along smashingly with a couple of male Doms, I'd say that on average I like submissive men and dislike Dominant ones. I'm always very circumspect about guys who are paranoid about cracks in the facade - the common denominator among the male Doms I get along with is that they aren't fronting, they are as interested in their vulnerabilities as I am in my own, we have stuff to talk about and the capability to laugh at ourselves.

As for submissive males - most actually submissive men are *not* socially submissive. Even the really annoying grovelly snivelly types who assume that's where I like to start off with everyone - I ask them what they do and they're usually in very socially alpha kinds of jobs and if I can get them to chill the hell out a bit and relate to me as a human they're usually pretty delightful. Again, subs who create and maintain a really elaborate facade of igor-like yetthhhh Mithrtresss = annoying. Guys who are fully fledged humans who HAPPEN to like my foot on their face = best. Guys who are fully fledged humans who HAPPEN to appreciate their women tied up and tormented, fine, just don't go looking at me funny and we'll compare notes.

 

[jipzi]

.....

 

[Netzach]

If you want me, bleed for me .

Fuckit, Dom sub or neither, I just love a maso.

 

[blue kat]

I'm another neutral here. Since my sexual orientation is a bit more on the gay side, rather than the bi side, I tend to prefer submissive women for my sensual partners. But I've made one or two exceptions before.

As far as friends go, my interest depends on so much more than a man's kink orientation. Like Netz said, some grovelly male subs are annoying in a Quasimodo sort of way. I give them a wiiiiide berth. But the majority are decent, well-rounded human beings, and that floats my boat.

In general, I've found that it's Dominant males who are more wigged out by male subs, rather than women of any kink orientation. It's almost like they feel somehow threatened by an m-sub's willingness to go there.

 

[WriterDom]

I don't care if a person is bi, gay, straight, sub, dom/me, or switch.

But I have talked to female subs that say that submissive men make them sick. They don't have a good reason for it. It's just the way they feel.

 

[intothewoods]

I don't care if a person is bi, gay, straight, sub, dom/me, or switch.

But I have talked to female subs that say that submissive men make them sick. They don't have a good reason for it. It's just the way they feel.

That's the strangest thing I've ever heard.

I'm pretty much with Netz! I don't like a lot of Dom men. If they're overly pushy and can't calm the fuck down for a minute and relate to me like a human, I don't really want to hang out with them. I've met quite a few Domme women like that too, actually, but more of them who are just themselves and not trying to get something from me.

My friends in the scene tend to be more bottom or submissive, because they don't tend to have that push-push-push drive that, like I said, some Tops can't turn off. Plus, the men usually let me get away with a lot more Toppish brattish whatever fun.

I haven't met a lot of grovel at your feet male subs, but that would make me really uncomfortable.

 

[twysted73]

If you want me, bleed for me .

Fuckit, Dom sub or neither, I just love a maso.

Why did this make me perk up? *scratches head*

 

[intothewoods]

If you want me, bleed for me .

Fuckit, Dom sub or neither, I just love a maso.

Does an emotional masochist count? I'm bleeding on the inside!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Usually love them, though there have been a couple whom I didn't, but their issues were nothing to do with their being submissive...they just had bad attitude in general.

Catalina

 

[SouthernDom]

The one thing that bothers me about a socially submissive male is how some lack the strength to prevent others,be it male or female, from unwanted manipulation in public settings by those who step out of line to exploit their submissive nature.

From the bitchy housewife who berates her husband until he's a nervous wreck to the office bully who verbally abuses a co-worker and continually embarrasses them in the workplace....................it just pisses me off to no end!

Being a Dominant who is ferocious in the face of anyone who starts the shit talk routine,it just touches a nerve with me!

It's a dog eat dog world and those who don't stand up for themselves in the face of an idiot wind up being a doormat.....................and that applies to either sex with a submissive demeanor.

 

[Netzach]

The one thing that bothers me about a socially submissive male is how some lack the strength to prevent others,be it male or female, from unwanted manipulation in public settings by those who step out of line to exploit their submissive nature.

From the bitchy housewife who berates her husband until he's a nervous wreck to the office bully who verbally abuses a co-worker and continually embarrasses them in the workplace....................it just pisses me off to no end!

Being a Dominant who is ferocious in the face of anyone who starts the shit talk routine,it just touches a nerve with me!

It's a dog eat dog world and those who don't stand up for themselves in the face of an idiot wind up being a doormat.....................and that applies to either sex with a submissive demeanor.

That's how I feel about socially submissive women. I have a strong dose of what the FUCK is your problem to women who just let men dictate because they can't imagine anything else, not because it's what they personally happen to like. Of course, my mother is one to the core.

Most of my scene friends are female subs and sub-leaning switches - I dig it when women are flexing their options, even if it's not what I personally would do. I'm talking about socially - and even then I have socially submissive within an SM context friends who love service. I also match up very well with butch female subs, whose service has a really nice mix of masculine and feminine vibes. I am talking about my personal revulsion when faced with unthinking doormat behavior out in the wild world.

However, as I said, those doormats are seldom submissives in the scene. Often they ID as Domme or Dom in the scene, I find, kind of a largely unsuccessful obviously compensating type - and yeah it's not limited to men. There are Dommes I would not let near my ass with a ping pong paddle.

For all those who think that living in a femsub male HOH type household is modeling the virtue of female submission to your children, let me be a poster girl for what actually may occur.

 

[Netzach]

Does an emotional masochist count? I'm bleeding on the inside!

Maybe. Only if I can poke you where it hurts most.

 

[graceanne]

I suppose I'll say neutral since my like or dislike of a man, or a woman for that matter, isn't based on just that one criteria. I've met a lot of men that I've enjoyed talking to and spending time with that had a less than dominate nature.

Ditto. I don't care if they're submissive or not. I like some, I dislike some. *shrugs* Just like I like and dislike some male dom's and switches.

 

[intothewoods]

Maybe. Only if I can poke you where it hurts most.

heh heh

And since I tend to blather about all of my insecurities, it's pretty easy to poke me where it hurts the most!

 

[graceanne]

I'm another neutral here. Since my sexual orientation is a bit more on the gay side, rather than the bi side, I tend to prefer submissive women for my sensual partners. But I've made one or two exceptions before.

As far as friends go, my interest depends on so much more than a man's kink orientation. Like Netz said, some grovelly male subs are annoying in a Quasimodo sort of way. I give them a wiiiiide berth. But the majority are decent, well-rounded human beings, and that floats my boat.

In general, I've found that it's Dominant males who are more wigged out by male subs, rather than women of any kink orientation. It's almost like they feel somehow threatened by an m-sub's willingness to go there.

HOLY COW! *hugs* I almost missed that you'd posted! *huggles*

 

[Caitlynne]

I don't like or dislike them, but I admit I don't understand them. I just don't get it, and for some reason just transferring or projecting my own submissive objectives onto men doesn't do it for me.

 

[doveofserenity]

Considers myself neutral, as i have male friends that are submissives. And they being submissives, makes them (the ones i know) no less of a man to me.

To me, its not them or me being submissive; but the friendship that comes first. As we (the group i know) are all submissives, the worry and/or jealousy of who's going to get "The Big Bad Dom or Domme" is put aside; because we are friends first.

And we can just be ourselves, and make our little comments on certain local Doms that we know, and either like or dislike. And that gets to be a "rip roaring good time" held by all of us as friends.

Especially the 'Dislike' part.

 

[unfoundiamond]

I feel neutral about them "generally"

I like people based on their personality and how they treat me... so in general I have no opinion, (my opinion is formed person by person in other words...)

And I also know if I have to always be the one planning, and directing... I feel resentment eventually.

I can be dominant when I want to, but if I am left to do all the thinking and planning 24 7 for years, I begin to feel like the other person doesn't care or gets to have all the fun...

I am completely turned on by the idea of a strong sexy man only showing me his submissive side, being hopelessly devoted to me, satasfying my every wish... Its hot...
But if that same man can't go into the world and represent himself(and me) well, there is a problem, (and it may not have anything to do with his enjoying submission)

I have to admit, the idea of comming home to a houseboy sounds like a sweet deal... but he'd have to be a emo doting kind of man... and I can also see where the constant responsibilty for him could be tiring...

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

I voted like, though I take each person on their own personal merit and perhaps voting neutral may have been prudent.

However .......

I have a few male friends that identify as submissives and I have to say the two to whom I am closest to are the most outstanding men. They are not the wilting cliches of people that erotic fiction often portrays male submissives to be, they are smart, competent, funny and generous to fault. If in 'their' private time they want to get down to licking boots ( just grabbing a cliche here not defining ) and it's their thing it's none of my damn business. It also doesn't revile me in any manner.

You want to see dominant, watch 'Tom' run a professional kitchen at full steam, he does the same thing when cooking for his family and friends. You want to see charm, see the way he puts everyone at total ease without appearing self effacing in any way. He is a total catch in the biblical sense. His drive is to serve all the way from erotic through to practical. I'm in awe of 'Tom', these things are inherent to his character. He also works really hard to perfect any and all crafts he takes on. Currently speaks about 8 languages, never bragged about the fact, when you know someone long enough trivia will come up in conversation. To date Tom is still single and it pains me. Not because I think submissives are lost lambs unpartnered but because I know deep down he challenges his own worth sometimes, he has even confided in giving up any quest to find a long term partner that reciprocates from a Domme perspective.

My other friend 'Sam'. His occupation is in the Armed Forces. 'Sam' has also faced a huge range of challenges reconciling the knowledge that he is submissive, quite specifically when he was rejected by his family when the revelation was made. 'Sam' threw himself into the lifestyle and was abused by an extremely dangerous dominant woman and suffered huge set backs as a result. She placed him in a potentially life threatening situation when she refused to recognize his safe word. It took Sam ages to not only recover from that scene but also to even consider he might be able to trust anyone when compromised by play again.

The good news. Sam is now married to his dream Domme. I mean omg he worships her, no bones about it. She loves to be worshiped it's bliss. They had their first child just over a year ago. They are a happy thriving family. Thanks Heavens as I just adore Sam. ( ps yes they have had their ups and downs but the fact remains they came out at the end in tact and continue to work at challenges as a team, a team she leads )

I always try and keep in mind how we have the extra modicum of difficulty thrown in with men that identify as submissive. The road from what is considered 'normal' is a damn sight longer than anything I believe woman face in most situations. If you add some of the more effeminate fetishes that can get even further adrift from 'there' ( ie the manly man ) trying to make this world seem reconcilable is a feat that earns my respect in some very real ways.