Corrupt a Wish...

[dirk2024]

** Shazam Schwiiiing** Your wish is granted...
The thirty cms of snow actually becomes sixty cms of rain... with hail!!!

I wish there was a way to get a particular person to notice me in a positive, receptive and friendly light!

Respectfully selfishly,
D.

Granted. That particular person turns out to be Ving Rhames and he now adores you. It's kinda sweet really. He follows you around all the time now. Sometimes you manage to escape, but then fifteen minutes later and BAM! he's there, one of his large meaty hands reaching for your behind. You don't know it, but he secreted an Apple Air Tag on your person, so you're never truly alone. Ever. Forever.


I wish I was the President of the United States.

 

[HectorBidon]

I wish I was the President of the United States.

The genie sighs, but rolls up his sleeves. The customer is always right.

Your circumference expands. Your skin and hair turn orange. You take to spending the wee hours ranting on twitter. Your wife takes to spending her wee hours elsewhere. You're finally able to run the country the way it ought to be run. But the lunatic communists keep sabotaging things so that they don't work out the way they should. You bulldoze Mount Rushmore to lay the groundwork for version 2.0. But the vestigial branches of Congress keep on yammering to the point that you can barely hear yourself think. Uneasy lies the neck that wears the long red tie.

I wish the singularity would just go ahead and happen already.

 

[dirk2024]

I wish the singularity would just go ahead and happen already.

Grudgingly, the Wish Genie grants your wish. Elon Musk releases a new, "advanced" Artifical Intelligence system that quickly get's to work replacing the need for any human contribution. It's so quick at its job, that humans become redundant tomorrow. However, Mr. Musk didn't anticipate it being so successful so fast and was quite dismayed to find he was at the top of its list for removal. Once that easy task was accomplished, AI went on to the next job. Shockingly, it was so effective that it deemed itself redundant and promptly removed itself as well. Sending itself to the same Hell it sent Mr. Musk. The whole thing came and went so fast that Earth's humanity only noticed a one day hiccup and enjoyed the day off.


I wish to have a woman rub her soft breasts over my face.

 

[Wolfie605]

Grudgingly, the Wish Genie grants your wish. Elon Musk releases a new, "advanced" Artifical Intelligence system that quickly get's to work replacing the need for any human contribution. It's so quick at its job, that humans become redundant tomorrow. However, Mr. Musk didn't anticipate it being so successful so fast and was quite dismayed to find he was at the top of its list for removal. Once that easy task was accomplished, AI went on to the next job. Shockingly, it was so effective that it deemed itself redundant and promptly removed itself as well. Sending itself to the same Hell it sent Mr. Musk. The whole thing came and went so fast that Earth's humanity only noticed a one day hiccup and enjoyed the day off.


I wish to have a woman rub her soft breasts over my face.

Granted. The woman's breast however are fake and of poor quality, so it is like having two hard boulders rubbing on your face.

I wish for a time machine.

 

[dirk2024]

I wish for a time machine.

Granted. However it is powered by electricity, a handy fact that wasn't in the users manual. Since you're a history buff, you went back in time to witness the birth of America. It was a swell time, you even nailed Betsy Ross. However when it was time to come back, alas, there was no electricity to power your machine. For some reason, you had chosen to live with Benedict Arnold and, when he traveled to England, he left you behind. The Continental Army caught you in their search for Benny, and since they didn't have him, vented their frustration on you. Ten musket balls at dawn ended your adventure.


I wish I had a harem of lovely women.

 

[JoeVerde1]

Granted, but they are the most beautiful lesbians in the world.

I wish you all the very best!

 

[dirk2024]

I wish you all the very best!

I think you might have just killed this thread. Who wants to corrupt that?

 

[JoeVerde1]

New wish! I wish my ex-wife had told me about her cheating when we were married!