Anyone else have experiences with these kinds of edging techniques?LOL, this thread reminds me of a sweet submissive girl I met here after responding to her personal ad seeking an online Dom to give her the special attention she so desperately needed. We enjoyed a great time online together for several months before eventually going our separate ways.
When I first got to know her it turned out that she was already prone to chronically masturbating (just like so many of you other kinky sluts here, lol.) So at first I was challenged at how to best shift her sexual focus and arousal from pursuing her own selfish pleasures and indulgences to focusing and responding selflessly to mine.
To be clear, there was nothing "wrong" with what she was doing previously, but her penchant for so frequently pleasuring herself to orgasm wasn't aligned with her enthusiastic desire to submit to my Male authority for her pleasure, nor my desire for her to seek it there. So I put this sweet horny thing on an orgasm diet and limited her to edging herself silly to her heart's content as long as she didn't cum without my permission.
She quickly discovered, on her own initiative, that I enjoyed hearing the vocal and other sounds of her edging-related arousal. So I was able to listen to everything she experienced, albeit in delayed fashion.
So I learned fairly quickly that she was often surfing really close to the edge of orgasm—dangerously close—because she didn't have sufficient previous experience to know where the actual edge of her orgasm limits were. It was increasingly obvious to me that the more she edged and denied herself for me, the more of an submissive ticking orgasmic time bomb she was becoming.
In edging session after edging session (yeah, I prescribed a lot of those, lol) she kept pushing herself closer and closer until she was literally a hot gasping incoherent mess. "Please Daddy" and "Good girls don't cum without permission" became her alternating mantras and she repeated them over and over as though in a trance, which I suppose in hindsight was probably the case for her.
It was quite arousing really. For both of us. But being the considerate Good Dom that I am, I knew I had to do something to help her control herself. She really wanted to deny herself for me, and she also really wanted to cum for herself, and it was diabolically arousing to hear her cycle back and forth between her breathless pleading desperation for both.
So I told her I'd help her control herself. I explained that going forward, when she felt she was getting close to the edge she was to immediately STOP edging her needy clit, and instead firmly spank her cunt with loud open-handed slaps until the urge to cum passed. The objective, I explained, was to temporarily replace the pleasure of masturbating with the sharp stinging painful punishment of spanking her most tender lady bits until the urge to cum receded... and then she could begin edging again.
Pleasure, then pain, then pleasure, then pain, and so on. All administered by her own hand, alternately pleasing herself and then suffering for my enjoyment. She was such a good girl for so bravely trying and working hard for me to that end. I was so proud of her.
That's when we both discovered that the sensations and sounds of spanking her own denied cunt when already aroused were even more arousing to her than rubbing her throbbing needy clit was before that. She tipped over the edge so fucking fast it was almost like she'd been shocked with electricity. The sensual orgasmic sounds she made, the surprise in the incomprehensible gibberish she uttered, and the clear disappointment she felt in herself afterwards for failing to maintain control were priceless.
I think I still have that audio around somewhere. Few things make a dom/domme who's into orgasm control happier than a sub who's sincerely sorry and remorseful for failing to control themselves and cumming without permission by their own hand. It's a tender moment, lol.
Anyway, after that self-inflicted cunt spanking and pussy slapping for this sweet girl were doled out as rewards and incentive towards orgasm. Because they were abject failures at deterrents or punishment lol. There's something special and quite adorable about an eager denied sub who will enthusiastically spread her tender thighs and eagerly spank herself silly until she inevitably orgasms from the sensations, sounds, and associated humiliation of the act.
On a side note, it's kind of funny how so many of you submissive sluts will orgasm so fuckin' easily from pussy spanking—and so quickly too—if your Dom/Domme does it to you or makes you do it to yourselves while we watch. But when left to your own devices and whims it seldom seems to be your preferred method of self-satisfaction. You're such interesting feminine creatures that way!
Feel free to prove me wrong though pets. And be sure to report back when you're done too!
The bolded bits especially resonate.
I agree with you 100% cascadia. For me it is the constant, underlying element of trust that takes that bond to the deepest level. The complementary needs that your denial enhances His pleasure forms a symbiotic relationship as you spiral into a crushing response to each other.
I think it's that spiral of control and submission that edging/denial creates that is so intriguing to me about this dynamic.
I'm surprised no one has addressed these questions. No doubt there are people on this forum with experience playing with on-line/at distance control/denial edging.
I'm quite sure a chat bot would be insufficient /not okay for me. I guess I'm too old for that. I want a real person, even if I can't touch them due to distance.
The continuum... When does a non kinky person become kinky? When does an acquaintance become a friend? When does a friend become a possible sexual partner? When does a relationship go from casual to serious?
. But if it goes on too long, then I feel disrespected and get very annoyed - total mood killer.
though. I def like to be held for a while, right on the edge, until it builds up so much that I have to explode.
But if I squirt hard - which is very much my preference - I have to hold off for a couple of days to ‘build up’ the sensation.
Excellent form of enhancing blood flow and overall exercise
just too state the obvious.tell us more
Men/Doms/Dommes -
45 minutes is a pretty long time. Do you provide additional specific guidance about how she is to edge for you?
I think this bit is really key. The woman gets more aware of her own bodies responses, you learn her body, her stamina, the way different things make her aroused and the combinations that make her go off like a fire cracker even if that means pushing her to edge so hard she fails to maintain the edge tipping into orgasm. My D is sadistic enough that he likes to push me so hard that I lose control and "fail" because it turns out he wants me to "fail" so he can add new elements, mete out punishment or reset the edging clock - just because
All this. Especially when combined with aftercare - another important thing to learn about your sub...what kind, how long, what elements does she need in the aftercare.
Can you say more about what you mean when you say "the edge gets really wide over time"? And what do you like to do to remind them of where the edge is?
Agreed. I have not always had orgasm control with my D, but it does feel central to the power dynamic and to a constant reinforcement of submission and giving him ownership of sexuality. It is a real responsibility - if this is the dynamic you can't just stop. You have to keep a pulse on how she is doing and maintain some level of interactive control, dominance - otw she can start to feel adrift, neglected, horny without any place to put it and ultimately disobedient which completely undermines the whole dynamic.
Agreed. This pairing seems obvious and necessary to me in a power exchange relationship.
Thank you for sharing your edging torture of your sub when she wasn't able to be with you. I'm curious - what was the range of times she was required to edge? I like the timer. Very specifically controlling. Did you also give her a time frame in which she had to figure out how to get privacy and complete the task? I have found the running timer within which I must start an edging or other task is as potent (or moreso) than the amount of time I actually am required to edge.
Having a submissive edge for me is all about what is going on between her ears. Anticipation and time enhance that. While edging until a specific number or word is spoken a submissive may be asked to voice her deepest desires or cravings at certain points in time. Each time edging until she is almost there then stopping and then getting even closer each and every time. What do I enjoy most is watching, seeing, hearing her effort. I smile at the power exchange.
I do agree that in the active edging state the sub does become very emotionally disinhibited so it is a great time to take advantage of that - to ask probing questions, get her to verbalize her needs /fantasies, desires. The things that come to the surface and I'll say out loud when I am in that heightened state of controlled arousal/edging often surprises me... the things I crave but had not yet articulated. There is an increased risk of accidental orgasm in my experience when edging is combined with fantasy articulation especially if he is asking question after question or adding his own elaboration to my newly revealed fantasy... and I think that is sometimes intentional - seeing if he can make me *fail* for him, losing that edge and tipping into an orgasm as my twisted fantasies are brought into the open. Depending on his mood he may turn that accidental orgasm into layers of forced orgasms as he pulls more and more details of fantasies from me, or he makes me ruin, followed quickly with administration of pain... spanking my naughty pussy etc until my skin is red and on fire my body confused by the combination of pleasure and pain.
Thanks for adding your experience /thoughts.
Everything in moderation, including edging. Being brought to the brink, then being held there, is a delicious reminder that I’m with a lover who knows my body
wow, that is so incredibly hot.
Maybe a good party game. You put in a vibrating egg (with a remote) and have her hold a conversation for as long as possible without the judge noticing. Once he or she does, it is the next persons turn. The looser has to do what the judge decides afterwards.
I do find my ability to edge longer and at a higher intensity without cummimg increases with long term edging/denial. I think I like that buzzy feeling of not quite cumming almost as much as I like orgasm - partly because it can be prolonged for many hours if desired
Idk. For me somewhere between 3 weeks and 3 months.
I don't know that it decreases interest in orgasm, but it does make my orgasm feel completely connected to him and I like that a lot. And yes, I do find the low level edging dynamic makes me feel more sexy, more sexual, more aware of my body, more aware of how others react to me sexually and it makes my subby brain happy that it is subject to his wishes. Maybe I like it because he makes me more overtly sexual than I would otherwise be, and it enhances my feelings of being owned/controlled/desired by my D. My heightened arousal is because of him. For him. Which maybe gives me permission to be a little more slutty, and my arousal/sexuality feels like part of service rather than part of narcissism.
