Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You

[kreemi_pi]

Is this a burger joint? Your friend looks like he wants to make it a double.

 

[tugger1987]

are you wearing space pants cos your arse is out of this world

 

[kreemi_pi]

Pull up your pants, astronaut. I can almost see Uranus.

 

[HorryD]

Your eyes are like galaxies, distant, cold, and full of things I’ll never understand.

 

[IelleDan]

If you're feeling down....I can feel you up

 

[kreemi_pi]

Ok THIS ONE IS REAL ...

Him: are you, like...part black?
Me: ummm...yeah...
Him: which part?

[Facepalm city. He did not get any sumthin from me.]

 

[tugger1987]

Ok THIS ONE IS REAL ...

Him: are you, like...part black?
Me: ummm...yeah...
Him: which part?

[Facepalm city. He did not get any sumthin from me.]

no way someone thought that was a good way in

 

[hugh_jarce69]

Your eyes are like spanners

Everytime you look at me, my nuts tighten

 

[kreemi_pi]

no way someone thought that was a good way in

He was black. Maybe he thought it sounded ironic. I literally just walked away.

 

[lilmissdarling]

You surrreee got a PURDYmouth. ***Winks with both eyes.

 

[PotNoodle79]

I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

 

[hugh_jarce69]

Do you fuck on first dates? Does your Dad own a brewery? Could I feel your tits? Or would you show them to me?

 

[kreemi_pi]

You put the "male" in email.

[Yes, I KNOW. They said "incompetent" ]

 

[hugh_jarce69]

This face will be leaving in quarter of an hour,

I'd like you to be on it

 

[kreemi_pi]

Do you fuck on first dates? Does your Dad own a brewery? Could I feel your tits? Or would you show them to me?

Hugh Jarce? Do you really have a huge jarce? Can i see it?

Ummm....what's a jarce?

 

[HorryD]

I’d rock your world like a shopping trolley with one dodgy wheel...

 

[kreemi_pi]

Are you Batman? Cuz i wanna slide down you bat pole into your batcave...I mean my batcave...

Wait...

 

[hugh_jarce69]

Hugh Jarce? Do you really have a huge jarce? Can i see it?

Ummm....what's a jarce?

yes, yes, yes, dunno

 

[HornyKatie1979]

Grab your coat, it's getting wet in here.

 

[kreemi_pi]

Damn dude. You must have had a fiveskin.

 

[kreemi_pi]

It's getting hot in here...so take off all your clothes...

Wait what the fuck are you DOING?? It's a SONG!!!

 

[MrPimms]

Have you got a copy of Fly Fishing by J R Hartley?

 

[HorryD]

it is rather old. You do! Oh, that's wonderful! Er...can you keep it for me?

 

[Him15]

Howed you like to come back to my place and help find my beetle collection.

 

[Hmm72]

My personal fav line that was used on me? "Can you help me? I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body and I need to escape!"

LMAO That’s just pure gold