Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[EctoJohn]

I own a 30% share in the one company in the whole world still producing Othello boards.

 

[Pad_Foot]

I finally understand everything and everyone here. It all makes total sense

 

[Ratchetman1982]

I was granted the ability to understand exactly what women want, but am cursed with the knowledge of giving them what they want will actually bring about the downfall of society. With this knowledge, I have set a course for saving humanity by encouraging all men to start PMs with "Sup" followed by an unsolicited dick pick. The fate of humanity is at stake.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I can both predict Chaos and escape Order.

 

[kneelingagain]

i feel completely in control of myself

 

[SusanHoward]

My cousins and I always love to play Doctor, but we’re never quite sure where best to put his thermometer…

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

I rarely get aroused while checking out threads...

 

[Ratchetman1982]

I have found the G spot. It's right next to the 7-11, down the street from the Krispy Kreme

 

[ridesforfew]

I caused an astronaut to miss his assignment

 

[Taegul]

I'm sitting right behind you as you read this right now. Total mouth breather. Just waiting to see your reaction. Don't turn around. I SAID DON'T TURN AROUND!

 

[EctoJohn]

I have published 17 books including 2 cookbooks and 1 pop-up book.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I'm now laughing at the Taegul trapped in the wall behind me. Poor Taegul. Fair warning: I didn't promise to water or feed Taegul.

 

[Sexy_Singer]

I drink like Mo Bandy.

 

[Wand3rlust]

I AM @Mo_Bandy

 

[EctoJohn]

I was originally from another universe, but I got isekai'd into this much more boring universe.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

I invented the hadouken

 

[Sexydrana]

I’m actually rocko

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Every Penthouse Letters story is about me

 

[Trubbycat]

Every Penthouse Letters story is about me

You attended a lot of large midwestern universities.

 

[Sexydrana]

I’m actually an ethereal mist and all pics posted of “me” are a figment of everyone’s imagination as a collective…

 

[EctoJohn]

I live exclusively off of white rice.

 

[Xerxes82]

I'm actually your alternate personality that you don't know about yet. Hi!

 

[SusanHoward]

I have only won one Wet T shirt contest.

 

[ALovelyNudist]

I’ve never done anything I could go to jail for

 

[EctoJohn]

I actually own more tridents than swords.