Cock Talk

[TotallyNotTaegul]

I would think that cleavage would catch anything before it got to the vagina.
I mean, you could stand under those in a rainstorm!

They work as a team if I'm honest with you. Generally what happens is....Both of my boobs are so big, they have their own gravitational field that pulls objects close into a tight orbit. Then the absolute suction force of my vacuum vagina sucks it in from there. Neil deGrasse Tyson has been studying my T and V for the last 5 years and will be publishing a scientific journal in the cumming coming months.

Tee hee hee
TNT

 

[Wand3rlust]

NUT CHECK isn’t just roll call at the Asylum.

One of the most difficult things about being a guy is protecting your nuts.

Seriously? One of the most difficult? You poor guys. If only we knew you had it so tough...

No matter what it is that’s flying through the air, it is, inevitably, headed right for our balls.

When a kid climbs in your lap, they step right on your testicles—every time.
When the dog jumps up on the couch, their rear paw crushes your manbag—every time.

Our clackers are a literal magnet for all things in motion.i

WOMEN:

Do you get hit in the crotch as often as us guys do?

No. And guys, if this is happening to you on a regular basis then you need to look at your life and make changes.

Doesn’t it hurt a little?

Yes. It would. But things on women are built differently. PM me if you want me to draw you a picture.

The vagina is obviously much more robust than our dainty little nutballs, but what was your worst experience of being hit in the cooch-la-rue?

Honestly? I can't even think of an instance.

Do you find guys getting hit in the balls as funny as other guys do?

Funny isn't how I'd describe it. Does give me an excuse to call you a twat though.

What would you like to know about our testicles?

Why the fuck are you so careless with them if it hurts you so much? It leads me to believe that it doesn't hurt as much as you drama queen's make out, cos surely you'd take better care of them. You spend half your day touching them and rearranging them. I'm surprised you don't get more hand injuries....

 

[hotwords229_A]

Seriously? One of the most difficult? You poor guys. If only we knew you had it so tough...

The struggle is real.

Why the fuck are you so careless with them if it hurts you so much?

I put on a cup before I even get out of bed in the morning.
One morning, I accidentally hit my nuts with the cup.

 

[TomTeacher19]

MEN:

What is your worst experience of getting hit in the balls?

I was working as a counselor at summer camp and some girl junior highers we're doing cheerleader kicks and I turned a corner and one girl did a full on kick into me. She was good friends with my little sister and while it took a few hours in the infirmary to get okay, I still hear from her every so often and she always brings it up

Why do we laugh at other guys when we know how much it hurts?

We grew up with Looney tunes and Tom and Jerry - pain is comedy

Do you have an awesome story of a hot nurse tending to your injured balls, or is that just stuff from the movies?

I once got cut by a rock in a river that was very close to my balls and had to get them checked by a doctor and there was a cute nurse there too but it wasn't an awesome story or anything

Do you like having your balls played with, or is that not something you like?

Absolutely. I've had wonderful experiences with a nice friend playing with my balls for hours

What question do you want women to answer about their vaginas?

Really more looking for invitations than answers to questions.

 

[hotwords229_A]

We grew up with Looney tunes and Tom and Jerry - pain is comedy

This is very insightful.

 

[TomTeacher19]

No. And guys, if this is happening to you on a regular basis then you need to look at your life and make changes.

One of my kids had like a 99% success rate of this every time they ran up to me to want to jump in my arms and give me a hug.

 

[Apisto42]

NUT CHECK isn’t just roll call at the Asylum.

One of the most difficult things about being a guy is protecting your nuts.

I know right?

No matter what it is that’s flying through the air, it is, inevitably, headed right for our balls.

Balls, phones, a stapler one time.

When a kid climbs in your lap, they step right on your testicles—every time.

This ties right into my story below.

When the dog jumps up on the couch, their rear paw crushes your manbag—every time.

No doubt. My little dude usually does a 1-2 punch with both rear feet.

Our clackers are a literal magnet for all things in motion.

Except the things we want on them.

WOMEN:

Do you get hit in the crotch as often as us guys do?
Doesn’t it hurt a little?
The vagina is obviously much more robust than our dainty little nutballs, but what was your worst experience of being hit in the cooch-la-rue?
Do you find guys getting hit in the balls as funny as other guys do?
What would you like to know about our testicles?

MEN:

What is your worst experience of getting hit in the balls?

Day after my vasectomy, my son wanted to make sure that he was the sole heir and threw a ball right into my balls while I was recuperating on the sofa. Little fucker.

Why do we laugh at other guys when we know how much it hurts?

Because we’re glad that the universe chose his balls instead of our own.

Do you have an awesome story of a hot nurse tending to your injured balls, or is that just stuff from the movies?

Dear Penthouse Letters…

Do you like having your balls played with, or is that not something you like?

Yes.

What question do you want women to answer about their vaginas?

Do you want the whole fist or just the fingers?

This question might only be applicable @aussiegeekygal

 

[Apisto42]

Does give me an excuse to call you a twat though.

You need an excuse? Never noticed you needing one before.

Why the fuck are you so careless with them if it hurts you so much? It leads me to believe that it doesn't hurt as much as you drama queen's make out, cos surely you'd take better care of them. You spend half your day touching them and rearranging them. I'm surprised you don't get more hand injuries....

The universe loves to send things into dude’s balls. Young guys develop a radar for it at a young age, but no matter how careful you are, the universe makes it happen. That’s the real reason guys spend so much time fondling their balls. We’re reassuring them that we’re watching out for them. Loving them. Protecting them.

Plus, if anything dangerous is heading towards them, your hands are like a hockey goalie, in position and ready to save that point.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Do you want the whole fist or just the fingers?

Well now someone went and planned the idea of a guy jacking himself off inside me- fist in, cock in, go!

I can't shake this temptation...

So, to answer your question- yes?

 

[Apisto42]

Well now someone went and planned the idea of a guy jacking himself off inside me- fist in, cock in, go!

I can't shake this temptation...

So, to answer your question- yes?

My brain can’t handle the truth.

Or the space needed for such an operation.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

My brain can’t handle the truth.

Or the space needed for such an operation.

I'm the human equivalent of the TARDIS

 

[ImpishSeraph]

.

WOMEN:

Do you get hit in the crotch as often as us guys do?

No. The worst was when I was on uneven bars at a playground, twirling over one bar with one leg over it and the other straight down. I was flipping around it quickly in a fast spin. The centrifugal force became so strong I almost flew off the top but ended up slamming back down on the bar right on my clit. I could have sworn it pushed my nub into my stomach. I grabbed my crotch out of reflex and fell off the bar face first in the dirt

Doesn’t it hurt a little?

That time hurt for weeks

The vagina is obviously much more robust than our dainty little nutballs, but what was your worst experience of being hit in the cooch-la-rue?

Oops. Answered this up above

Do you find guys getting hit in the balls as funny as other guys do?

No. It makes me cringe

What would you like to know about our testicles?

Can I lick and suck on them? Too many find them too sensitive...

 

[hotwords229_A]

Can I lick and suck on them? Too many find them too sensitive...

Wowzers!

 

[cocokittysurprise]

Do you get hit in the crotch as often as us guys do?

I'm not sure how much, on average, guys get hit in the crotch, but I love having my pussy spanked, so odds are.... maybe

Doesn’t it hurt a little?

Yes (in a good way, in my case)

The vagina is obviously much more robust than our dainty little nutballs, but what was your worst experience of being hit in the cooch-la-rue?

The Unfortunate Jungle Gym Incident of 1992.

Do you find guys getting hit in the balls as funny as other guys do?

I don't find it funny at all.

What would you like to know about our testicles?

I can't think of anything that I don't already know about them.

 

[hotwords229_A]

The Unfortunate Jungle Gym Incident of 1992.

That was a bad year for Jungle Gyms.

 

[Taegul]

That was a bad year for Jungle Gyms.

I dunno. I'm starting to think that when I die, I want to be reincarnated as a Jungle Gym.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I only want my lady bits referred to as "robust" moving forward please.

 

[jason28053]

I only want my lady bits referred to as "robust" moving forward please.

All your lady bits?

 

[Trubbycat]

I only want my lady bits referred to as "robust" moving forward please.

Good heavens, madam, your clitoris is robust!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

All your lady bits?

Just the robust ones

 

[jason28053]

Just the robust ones

Gotcha. Emphasis on Bust

 

[AveryElle]

Do you get hit in the crotch as often as us guys do?
What? No.

Doesn’t it hurt a little?
Probably, but...why would I unintentionally have a wounded crotch?

The vagina is obviously much more robust than our dainty little nutballs, but what was your worst experience of being hit in the cooch-la-rue?
robust, but not as robust as Kraft Zesty Italian? The worst would be anything around childbirth.

Do you find guys getting hit in the balls as funny as other guys do?
No. Well, maybe if they really deserve it.

What would you like to know about our testicles?
Very little, actually. I would like to know why guys shave them but then have hair elsewhere. Do they know it looks weird?

 

[hotwords229_A]

I would like to know why guys shave them but then have hair elsewhere. Do they know it looks weird?

There is no clear guidance on proper groin hairdos.
However, a freshly shorn ballsack feels great!

 

[AveryElle]

There is no clear guidance on proper groin hairdos.
However, a freshly shorn ballsack feels great!

as long as you know smooth balls and hairy legs/belly looks ridiculous, then it's all good!

 

[hotwords229_A]

as long as you know smooth balls and hairy legs/belly looks ridiculous, then it's all good!

I am a man of fine, light body hair. But I can see how a gorilla guy would look comical.