Cock Talk

[Artfan2]

Oh! I know the answer to the last one -- Pinkies up!

Which pinkie?

 

[hotwords229_A]

Which pinkie?

And up what?

 

[Endless_Night]

My question is, being male, how likely would it be for me to be able to pull off a successful sextoy sales party among men? Among women? Especially as I had never done such a thing.

Never underestimate a good salesman, but I’m not sure about this.

Like the aforementioned circle jerk, I can’t imagine male sex toy parties are a thing.
In fact, possibly it has never happened before in history?

Bacchanalian Rome?

 

[ScarletDaisy]

Which pinkie?

Leftie loosie, rightie tightie?

 

[hotwords229_A]

Bacchanalian Roman?

But weren’t the “sex toys” just . . . you know . . . women?

 

[Endless_Night]

But weren’t the “sex toys” just . . . you know . . . women?

Ummm. If my remarkably vague history knowledge is correct, that era was rather noted for its similarity to, uh, ancient Greece. Maybe?

Wow. Make one comment and suddenly find yourself feeing all awkward.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Ummm. If my remarkably vague history knowledge is correct, that era was rather noted for its similarity to, uh, ancient Greece. Maybe?

Wow. Make one comment and suddenly find yourself feeing all awkward.

Hmmm, maybe we have discovered the origin of circle jerks!

I love when things cum around like that, almost like a circle . . .

 

[NC_Coastal]

Caligula likely hosted many parties that included males, females, toys and circle jerks - among other things.

 

[Mrtenant]

Never underestimate a good salesman, but I’m not sure about this.

Like the aforementioned circle jerk, I can’t imagine male sex toy parties are a thing.
In fact, possibly it has never happened before in history?

Woman’s sex toy parties are a thing. But would they attend if it was hosted by a male? Possibly. If the party were extra rowdy it might even devolve into something fun. But that may also just be my porn mind working.

Then again, a saleswoman with a male stripper at a women’s sex toy party might actually be a good business idea! Entertainment, a sales pitch, and a model all in one party.

Yeah, I don’t think male sextoy parties are a thing. Female sextoy parties exist, but I think that a male host of one would have to be a “sassy gay male friend” type in order to succeed.

Caligula likely hosted many parties that included males, females, toys and circle jerks - among other things.

Probably a good thing I skipped that job. I've done more than my share of embarrassing things in my life. That wasn't one of them.

 

[Mrtenant]

How big were those fists?!?!? View attachment 2550773

I got my kid a set of Hulk Hands for Xmas one year.

Me and MrsT had more fun with those than he did.

While I never tried fisting her or myself with those (fuck that's crazy) they make great sound effects while we were fucking- especially at orgasm.

 

[Lmizzler]

So what do a group of horny women do behind closed doors?

Play “Guess whose finger”?
Hardened nipple races?
Play a round of “What do I taste like”?



Is there a female version of bukake, where the women rub their vaginas all over some lucky guy’s face?
Can I volunteer?

Why do we only hear about male sexual games?

What are you women hiding?

I’ve heard tale of some electrified nipple clamps that were passed from woman to woman to see how each one faired with the shocking sensations. ️

 

[AtramentousRex]

I've always wondered why so many people seem to want to turn sex into a competition. From how long they can go to how hard they can cum, to how often they can get it up, to how skilled they are, to how much experience they have to how hot the partners they 'pull' are.

Why is it always that way? Why is sex so exclusionary and shallow and why do people insist on putting labels and limits and why in fucks name does anyone get a say but for the people involved? Is it something people fall into because of the pressures of societal trends, or are human beings just kind of shitty to themselves about everything?

Being a slut is BAD until social media tells you it is now GOOD and now those who have lower sex drives or who are outright asexual, are kind of looked down on and assumed to be damaged or oppressed.

Am I just weird or does anyone else notice this?

 

[hotwords229_A]

I've always wondered why so many people seem to want to turn sex into a competition. From how long they can go to how hard they can cum, to how often they can get it up, to how skilled they are, to how much experience they have to how hot the partners they 'pull' are.

Why is it always that way? Why is sex so exclusionary and shallow and why do people insist on putting labels and limits and why in fucks name does anyone get a say but for the people involved? Is it something people fall into because of the pressures of societal trends, or are human beings just kind of shitty to themselves about everything?

Being a slut is BAD until social media tells you it is now GOOD and now those who have lower sex drives or who are outright asexual, are kind of looked down on and assumed to be damaged or oppressed.

Am I just weird or does anyone else notice this?

I think most things become a competition. From how nice your lawn is, to how far your cum shoots. It’s just natural human behavior. I think friendly competition can be good, productive and fun.

But taking anything too seriously rarely ends well for anyone.

As for labels, I think they’re stupid. But that’s just me. Everyone else seems to really be into them.

And to social media, society and the general populace, fuck ‘em!

In a friendly way.

It can only affect you if you let it.

 

[hotwords229_A]

“I wasn’t jerkin off! My pants fell down while I was checking my email and I had an itch and I was about to blow my nose. Also, I think this computer has a virus because I didn’t click on that!”

Have you ever been caught looking at porn as an adult?
Have you ever caught your partner, or saw something “interesting” in their search history (by accident, of course)?
Do you enjoy porn as a couple? What genres?
What is the one category of porn you look at that you really, really don’t want your partner to know about?
Do you leave evidence of your porn choices to encourage or entice your partner with, knowing they’ll see?
If you were to cast your partner in a porn genre, which would it be? What about yourself?

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

“I wasn’t jerkin off! My pants fell down while I was checking my email and I had an itch and I was about to blow my nose. Also, I think this computer has a virus because I didn’t click on that!”

Have you ever been caught looking at porn as an adult?

I don’t think so?

Have you ever caught your partner, or saw something “interesting” in their search history (by accident, of course)?

No. I’m pretty sure she’s never.

Do you enjoy porn as a couple? What genres?

No. Tried once. Led to one of our biggest fights ever

What is the one category of porn you look at that you really, really don’t want your partner to know about?

I think they’re all equally problematic in her mind.

Do you leave evidence of your porn choices to encourage or entice your partner with, knowing they’ll see?

No. Man I’m boring af.

If you were to cast your partner in a porn genre, which would it be? What about yourself?

It’s so inconceivable I’ve never considered it

 

[OldDirtyAltGuy]

“I wasn’t jerkin off! My pants fell down while I was checking my email and I had an itch and I was about to blow my nose. Also, I think this computer has a virus because I didn’t click on that!”

Have you ever been caught looking at porn as an adult?
Have you ever caught your partner, or saw something “interesting” in their search history (by accident, of course)?
Do you enjoy porn as a couple? What genres?
What is the one category of porn you look at that you really, really don’t want your partner to know about?
Do you leave evidence of your porn choices to encourage or entice your partner with, knowing they’ll see?
If you were to cast your partner in a porn genre, which would it be? What about yourself?

Yes

 

[Endless_Night]

Have you ever been caught looking at porn as an adult?
Don't be absurd.

Have you ever caught your partner, or saw something “interesting” in their search history (by accident, of course)?
Of course not.

Do you enjoy porn as a couple? What genres?
Like, actually look at porn? With someone else? In the room?

What is the one category of porn you look at that you really, really don’t want your partner to know about?
This question does not compute.

Do you leave evidence of your porn choices to encourage or entice your partner with, knowing they’ll see?
People do this?!

If you were to cast your partner in a porn genre, which would it be? What about yourself?
Real partner? Hypothetical partner? Most recent partner? Imaginary partner? Fantasy partner?

I formally request more detail in order to answer this question.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I formally request more detail in order to answer this question

I formally request more information about your:
1. Real partner
2. Hypothetical partner
3. Most recent partner
4. Imaginary partner
5. Fantasy partner
In order to satisfy my curiosity

 

[OldDirtyAltGuy]

I formally request more information about your:
1. Real partner
2. Hypothetical partner
3. Most recent partner
4. Imaginary partner
5. Fantasy partner
In order to satisfy my curiosity

I fit the majority of these categories.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I formally request more information about your:
1. Real partner
2. Hypothetical partner
3. Most recent partner
4. Imaginary partner
5. Fantasy partner
In order to satisfy my curiosity

 

[Endless_Night]

I formally request more information about your:
1. Real partner
2. Hypothetical partner
3. Most recent partner
4. Imaginary partner
5. Fantasy partner
In order to satisfy my curiosity

1. Hot. Brilliant. No bent for power exchange.
2. Dominant with DD/lg, consensual noncon, and predator/prey leanings.
3. Uhhhh.
4. The incubus that hits me with dream orgasms when it's been too long.
5. Always knows when I need attention.


Didn't think I could do it, did you?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

1. Hot. Brilliant. No bent for power exchange.
2. Dominant with DD/lg, consensual noncon, and predator/prey leanings.
3. Uhhhh.
4. The incubus that hits me with dream orgasms when it's been too long.
5. Always knows when I need attention.


Didn't think I could do it, did you?

So... @hotwords229_A ?

 

[Mei5ter]

“I wasn’t jerkin off! My pants fell down while I was checking my email and I had an itch and I was about to blow my nose. Also, I think this computer has a virus because I didn’t click on that!”

Have you ever been caught looking at porn as an adult?
Have you ever caught your partner, or saw something “interesting” in their search history (by accident, of course)?
Do you enjoy porn as a couple? What genres?
What is the one category of porn you look at that you really, really don’t want your partner to know about?
Do you leave evidence of your porn choices to encourage or entice your partner with, knowing they’ll see?
If you were to cast your partner in a porn genre, which would it be? What about yourself?

"Dear LitHouse Forum,

I felt I just had to write and tell you about a completely fictional incident which happened in my imagination only last week!

My wife and I had been going through a dry patch, which only got worse when she caught me sitting in a bath of cold baked beans, masturbating to a 1980s Mr T workout video and using WD40 as lube. So, with our sex life going as well as an Iranian nuclear centrifuge, obviously I found myself here on Literotica! And I'm so glad I did!

One day, I was sitting in an extremely crowded Wendy's reading staggeringly explicit incest stories on my tablet, when I heard someone walk up behind me. Luckily, I had nothing to be embarrassed about because there were no pictures of anything really scandalous like...a woman wearing a bra...so I just carried on reading. To my complete surprise, it turned out to be my wife, her three sisters, their husbands, Grandpa and Grandma, and their pet chihuahua Snuffles! No sooner had my wife glanced at what I was reading than her panties immediately dissolved in a hot mess of family lust, and we barely had time to check that Snuffles was over eighteen before the orgy started right there and then! Even the employees who came over to make the obligatory 'Sir, this is a Wendy's!' joke just stripped off and joined in the family fucking!

Well, from that day on, my wife and I have had the Best Sex Life Ever! In fact, while I'm writing this, I'm sitting in a bath of cold baked beans, and she's dressed up as Mr T, complete with gold chains, growling "Don't Push Me!" in my ear as she drips the WD40 on my cock for the hand job of my dreams!

And it would never have happened without LitHouse Forum!"

---------

This is slightly more plausible than my answering "yes" to any of these questions.

 

[AlpineFresco]

Have you ever been caught looking at porn as an adult?

I'm actually not sure I have. But if I did, I don't imagine it'd be any problem.

Have you ever caught your partner, or saw something “interesting” in their search history (by accident, of course)?

Nope.

Do you enjoy porn as a couple? What genres?

I've shared images that I thought were hot, and had them shared with me. But that's as far as it goes.

What is the one category of porn you look at that you really, really don’t want your partner to know about?

I don't think there is one. I do have an ex who once shared that she enjoyed looking at animated porn and then got super embarrassed and refused to say anything further, which I felt was odd. Not my thing, but I was curious what caught her attention!

Do you leave evidence of your porn choices to encourage or entice your partner with, knowing they’ll see?

No, I'm an adult so I just have a conversation and say what I like.

If you were to cast your partner in a porn genre, which would it be? What about yourself?

I wouldn't.
But if I were to cast myself? I'd be a voice reading audio porn!

 

[AlpineFresco]

"Dear LitHouse Forum,

I felt I just had to write and tell you about a completely fictional incident which happened in my imagination only last week!

My wife and I had been going through a dry patch, which only got worse when she caught me sitting in a bath of cold baked beans, masturbating to a 1980s Mr T workout video and using WD40 as lube. So, with our sex life going as well as an Iranian nuclear centrifuge, obviously I found myself here on Literotica! And I'm so glad I did!

One day, I was sitting in an extremely crowded Wendy's reading staggeringly explicit incest stories on my tablet, when I heard someone walk up behind me. Luckily, I had nothing to be embarrassed about because there were no pictures of anything really scandalous like...a woman wearing a bra...so I just carried on reading. To my complete surprise, it turned out to be my wife, her three sisters, their husbands, Grandpa and Grandma, and their pet chihuahua Snuffles! No sooner had my wife glanced at what I was reading than her panties immediately dissolved in a hot mess of family lust, and we barely had time to check that Snuffles was over eighteen before the orgy started right there and then! Even the employees who came over to make the obligatory 'Sir, this is a Wendy's!' joke just stripped off and joined in the family fucking!

Well, from that day on, my wife and I have had the Best Sex Life Ever! In fact, while I'm writing this, I'm sitting in a bath of cold baked beans, and she's dressed up as Mr T, complete with gold chains, growling "Don't Push Me!" in my ear as she drips the WD40 on my cock for the hand job of my dreams!

And it would never have happened without LitHouse Forum!"

---------

This is slightly more plausible than my answering "yes" to any of these questions.

You know what I learned from this? Since I left, the UK acquired some Wendy's.
Apparently there isn't enough room in any country for both me and them.