Cock Talk

I fear I might be the villain, because when my ex boyfriend got on antidepressants and suddenly wanted to eat me out in parking lots and fuck me in forests like it was a planned scenic destination marked on his GPS… I was thriving. The dopamine, the danger, the deranged devotion? Loved all that.

But I can’t be with a man more mentally stable than I am. That’s a threat to my ecosystem. Had to cut him loose too quickly 🤧
 
They are likely to already be feeling some degree of hopelessness, inability to find joy in activities they usually enjoy, and/or anxiety about a number of present and future situations.
Thank you for explaining!

Hope you don't mind me sharing it. 🌹
Absolutely not! I'm sorry to read about your and your husband's struggles, and wish there was some way I could help (no, please, nobody take it that way *sigh* :rolleyes:)
 
Well, I haven’t had a first time in a long time. I’d say appropriately nervous but not overly so.


Sometimes. Nowadays it’s more of a coincidental thing.
But back when I was single, it was more common that I’d be drinking and/or smoking pot beforehand.


Yes. I went through a period of time where it happened sometimes. I rarely handled it well and neither did the partners. Probably shouldn’t have been having sex with people who didn’t know why/didn’t give a fuck about me at a time when I was very emotionally fragile but, yanno… hindsight.

Hasn’t happened in a long time!


The best way for me to be fully at ease is to be asleep and woken up for sex 🤣. My mind is the most empty and pliable that way.


I think I’ve had a decent balance.


Don’t fake orgasms. It’s okay if you don’t cum and it’s okay if they know that.
Omg the last one … so much this!!!

So often I’ve just faked it in the past because I didn’t know how to explain how I needed to be touched to orgasm … and it lead to me leading very unsatisfactory sexual encounters with lots of men.
 
How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?
If we have talked a lot prior, not at all. If it is a 1NS, it has been a bit awkward.
How do you manage that nervous feeling?
Just start fooling around, biology takes care of the rest.
Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?
I have gotten drunk to lighten the mood before. I don't recommend it. I would rather feel all the feels. As a woman, it is important to be aware of what is happening around you so you can react safely. Especially with someone new.
Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?
Not during. Before? Yes. After? Absolutely.
Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?
Talking. It is a must. A requirement now.
In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?
Absolutely. Thanks religion! 😆
What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?
Don't rush it. You don't have to have sex to feel complete.
 
Love it. Been there.
There is a thrill that comes with sex, but that can also lead to terror, anxiety, performance issues, etc.

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?
Dude. That was a long long time ago. Like, I think there was a brontosaurus bellowing out the window.
If I recall correctly, I was much more nervous about the first kiss than the first fuck.

How do you manage that nervous feeling?
Remind myself that we’re only on this playground once, so take a breath and live.
Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?
Most of my one night stands featured alcohol or drugs. I prefer sober sex with a partner.
Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?
Lol. No. I love sex and I generally love my self, so as long as I’m getting good feedback and we’re clicking, I’m good.
Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?
Ether.
Kidding. I’m kidding.

Communication. Lots of communication. But there’s also been those times when the chemistry is just right and you really don’t need to talk much.

Of course then you find out the next day that she has split personalities and might have axed somebody once.
In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?
Not really. I was pretty pragmatic even as a teenager.
What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?
Not her. Hold out for better for your first time dude. There will be plenty of pussy in your life.
 
Am I the only one who doesn't understand his reaction? Yes, I love orgasms, but isn't the whole thing enjoyable? I once spent an entire weekend with someone and didn't have an orgasm, but my then partner and I had a great time regardless. If I knew what had caused it, I'd happily do it again!

Yes. You are the only one. 😂

I took Zoloft for a very short while about 8 years back. It was the absolute worst. Fucking forever and not having an orgasm is not okay with me.

I can’t describe the feeling. I mean, having sex is pretty much always good. But just going forever… it was just frustrating. The medicine just numbs everything. It made me non-competitive, which was a bizarre thing. I’m super competitive and to have that gone, it was terrible. And not that I’m competitive with sex, but it’s that same drive and edge that just got numbed. If sex normally feels like a 10/10 (which it does with me), that medicine dialed it back to a 6.
 
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