Cock Talk

[hotwords229_A]

We didn't even have the time to get fully naked. Result: complete panic. In the end, I couldn't hold it back; my nerves got the better of me, and we finished sooner than expected. We both laughed at the end though.

This sounds less like a panic attack and more like an attack on your underwear!

 

[mikeyvis00]

This sounds less like a panic attack and more like an attack on your underwear!

You have no idea , talking about ruin the party when we were just inflating the balloons

 

[hotwords229_A]

You have no idea , talking about ruin the party when we were just inflating the balloons

Sometimes you shoot the confetti too soon, happens to all of us.
As long as there is a mess a party was had, that’s how I see it.

 

[mikeyvis00]

Sometimes you shoot the confetti too soon, happens to all of us.
As long as there is a mess a party was had, that’s how I see it.

That's a nice way to put it hahahaha. A five minutes party, but a party at least

 

[AngelicaS1780]

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?

I'm never an anxious sort of nervous about it. It's a feeling of excitement and anticipation.

Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?

Back in my college days, alcohol was often, but not always, involved with first times. My two more recent experiences were stone cold sober. I think sober to very lightly chemically relaxed is the best way to go for me now.

Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?

I have. It was precipitated by issues with my husband's erection rehab following surgery to remove his prostate due to cancer. We were both putting a lot of pressure on ourselves to make piv sex just like it was prior to his diagnosis. We handled it by talking about our fears and frustrations with the whole situation and by trying our best to provide a safe and supportive environment to do so. We agreed that we needed to step back and adjust our expectations.

Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?

For the most part, both myself and my partners were very much at ease and eager before our first times together. There was one male partner who was a virgin and a bit nervous before his/our first time. I just told him not to overthink it, to just relax and have fun and enjoy the pleasure, and that there were no expectations of any kind.

In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?

While I wouldn’t say that I was a casual sex person, I definitely fell closer to that end of the spectrum than I did to the other. I didn’t need to be in love with someone before having sex with them. But I wasn’t going out looking for one night stands either.

What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?

You need proper lube for anal. Don’t let the boyfriend with the horse cock convince you otherwise.

 

[morelikeasong]

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?
How do you manage that nervous feeling?

Well, I haven’t had a first time in a long time. I’d say appropriately nervous but not overly so.

Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?

Sometimes. Nowadays it’s more of a coincidental thing.
But back when I was single, it was more common that I’d be drinking and/or smoking pot beforehand.

Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?

Yes. I went through a period of time where it happened sometimes. I rarely handled it well and neither did the partners. Probably shouldn’t have been having sex with people who didn’t know why/didn’t give a fuck about me at a time when I was very emotionally fragile but, yanno… hindsight.

Hasn’t happened in a long time!

Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?

The best way for me to be fully at ease is to be asleep and woken up for sex . My mind is the most empty and pliable that way.

In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?

I think I’ve had a decent balance.

What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?

Don’t fake orgasms. It’s okay if you don’t cum and it’s okay if they know that.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Am I the only one who doesn't understand his reaction? Yes, I love orgasms, but isn't the whole thing enjoyable? I once spent an entire weekend with someone and didn't have an orgasm, but my then partner and I had a great time regardless. If I knew what had caused it, I'd happily do it again!

I imagine if you are trying to orgasm and can’t it is not pleasurable. Plus, wouldn’t he lose his erection after some time? Did the medication also take away some of the sensation too?

It’s kind of like the viagra thing—if you experience an erection for more than four hours…—sounds like a pretty great deal, but could also have it’s downside.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Well it wasn't like I wasn't trying to have an orgasm But I enjoyed being able to give pleasure with that part of my anatomy for longer than I normally would be able to, and also enjoyed the physical side myself. I mean, I enjoy penetration anyway, not only if I get to orgasm through it. It's mostly about the "connection" in that being inside her is the closest I can be to my partner.

Nice.
I always cum right after she introduces herself.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

Am I the only one who doesn't understand his reaction? Yes, I love orgasms, but isn't the whole thing enjoyable? I once spent an entire weekend with someone and didn't have an orgasm, but my then partner and I had a great time regardless. If I knew what had caused it, I'd happily do it again!

One thing to consider is that someone who goes on an SSRI like Zoloft is already depressed and/or anxious. They are likely to already be feeling some degree of hopelessness, inability to find joy in activities they usually enjoy, and/or anxiety about a number of present and future situations. I'll speak for myself, as I have experienced both sides of this situation on and off for almost two decades due to my mental health and medication issues and my husband's sexual challenges post radical prostatectomy. Before going on SSRIs, I was depressed and anxious. My libido was low and I felt pretty hopeless about the future. I started meds and experienced a slightly improved libido, but now had anorgasmia. I thought to myself, is this the rest of my life? Am I either clinically depressed with no libido or feeling better with a somewhat improved libido but no ability to orgasm? A person might then be embarrassed to discuss this particular side effect with their doctor, so they never get tried on a different dose or different medication. And, even if you do talk to your doctor about it, most of the SSRIs have similar sexual side effects. I have been lucky that Welbutrin eventually returned me to a place where I can consistently have orgasms. And then, a few years later, my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer at 49. Now he's the one experiencing orgasm difficulties at times and finds it can be very frustrating and discouraging.

I think it's a very different experience when anorgasmia happens once, out of the blue, and resolves with your next interaction. I agree that every sexual encounter does not need to focus on an orgasm and that pleasure without an orgasm is still a great thing, but it can be very difficult to contemplate that you might never have an orgasm again, especially if you're someone who hasn't even reached their mid-50s yet. Just my experience. Hope you don't mind me sharing it.

Don’t fake orgasms. It’s okay if you don’t cum and it’s okay if they know that.

Yes! A very important message to all women. And one I wish my younger self had heard.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Nice.
I always cum right after she introduces herself.

*reconsiders shaking hands*

 

[AngelicaS1780]

It’s kind of like the viagra thing—if you experience an erection for more than four hours…—sounds like a pretty great deal, but could also have it’s downside.

Oh, it definitely has it's downside. My husband and I were once on our way to the ER when his almost four hour long, injectable ED medication induced, erection *finally* started to subside after several doses of Sudafed taken over the previous three hours. If it hadn't, he would have been likely to be treated with aspiration decompression/irrigation or even surgery. Click if you dare, gentlemen.

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1038/s41443-025-01054-1?fromPaywallRec=true

 

[EvaLane]

*reconsiders shaking hands*

I was just about to extend mine

 

[Wand3rlust]

I was just about to extend mine

Tomatoes, tomatoes.

That doesn't work so well in text.

 

[EvaLane]

The wow reacts are a direct link to my arousal I swear lol

 

[Wand3rlust]

The wow reacts are a direct link to my arousal I swear lol

 

[UnquietDreams]

I recently had lunch with an old friend I hadn't seen in years. It was fun to catch up. Among the less-fun things I learned was that her hubby recently started taking Zoloft. This apparently has caused him to be able to get hard but not allow him to reach orgasm. She said she loved it the first time because he kept going and going. It was only after he stopped did she get a sense of his frustration. They tried again a couple of days later and had the same things happen. She said that even going at it hard and fast didn't do anything more than tire him out. According to her, he didn't even feel as if he was getting close. This seems to have disheartened him enough that he no longer wants to even try, so they now haven't had sex in months.

Having tried a variety of antidepressants in my fight against depression, I have run into this issue a few time, where desire is there, there isn't an issue with erection, but it is very difficult to climax, with a partner or by masturbation. After I figured out what was causing it, it didn't bother me so much -- I love a good orgasm as much as the next guy, but it was never my primary focus during sex. But my wife, even after multiple discussions, internalized that it meant I didn't find her desirable, and that it was her fault. The last time we had sex, she got very angry and hurt that I didn't come, regardless that she had several times (which was my focus). She ended up getting dressed and storming out of the cottage we had rented for the weekend, and was pissed off for the rest of the time. And she refused to be intimate from then on -- that was the last time she even kissed me with any passion until the divorce, eight years later.

It wasn't my frustration with the issue that caused the problem, it was my wife's.

 

[EvaLane]

I fear I might be the villain, because when my ex boyfriend got on antidepressants and suddenly wanted to eat me out in parking lots and fuck me in forests like it was a planned scenic destination marked on his GPS… I was thriving. The dopamine, the danger, the deranged devotion? Loved all that.

But I can’t be with a man more mentally stable than I am. That’s a threat to my ecosystem. Had to cut him loose too quickly

 

[UnquietDreams]

... when my ex boyfriend got on antidepressants and suddenly wanted to eat me out in parking lots and fuck me in forests like it was a planned scenic destination marked on his GPS…

I read that to the tune of "The Piña Colada Song."

 

[hotwords229_A]

*reconsiders shaking hands*

That’s like anal to me.

I was just about to extend mine

I extended too.

 

[UnquietDreams]

Tomatoes, tomatoes.

That doesn't work so well in text.

Are you selling tomatoes? I'll take a couple.

 

[UnquietDreams]

That’s like anal to me.

So no one will shake hands with you?

 

[EvaLane]

I was just about to extend mine

So no one will shake hands with you?

So glad this just turns me on and doesn’t offend me, whew

 

[crazychemgirl]

Well, I haven’t had a first time in a long time. I’d say appropriately nervous but not overly so.


Sometimes. Nowadays it’s more of a coincidental thing.
But back when I was single, it was more common that I’d be drinking and/or smoking pot beforehand.


Yes. I went through a period of time where it happened sometimes. I rarely handled it well and neither did the partners. Probably shouldn’t have been having sex with people who didn’t know why/didn’t give a fuck about me at a time when I was very emotionally fragile but, yanno… hindsight.

Hasn’t happened in a long time!


The best way for me to be fully at ease is to be asleep and woken up for sex . My mind is the most empty and pliable that way.


I think I’ve had a decent balance.


Don’t fake orgasms. It’s okay if you don’t cum and it’s okay if they know that.

Omg the last one … so much this!!!

So often I’ve just faked it in the past because I didn’t know how to explain how I needed to be touched to orgasm … and it lead to me leading very unsatisfactory sexual encounters with lots of men.

 

[lavendersilk]

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?

If we have talked a lot prior, not at all. If it is a 1NS, it has been a bit awkward.

How do you manage that nervous feeling?

Just start fooling around, biology takes care of the rest.

Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?

I have gotten drunk to lighten the mood before. I don't recommend it. I would rather feel all the feels. As a woman, it is important to be aware of what is happening around you so you can react safely. Especially with someone new.

Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?

Not during. Before? Yes. After? Absolutely.

Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?

Talking. It is a must. A requirement now.

In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?

Absolutely. Thanks religion!

What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?

Don't rush it. You don't have to have sex to feel complete.

 

[Apisto42]

That Whoreable Feeling

https://gifdb.com/images/thumbnail/woman-scared-on-halloween-meme-vnb85479jadru0zf.gif

Love it. Been there.

There is a thrill that comes with sex, but that can also lead to terror, anxiety, performance issues, etc.

How nervous are you the first time you have sex with someone?

Dude. That was a long long time ago. Like, I think there was a brontosaurus bellowing out the window.
If I recall correctly, I was much more nervous about the first kiss than the first fuck.

How do you manage that nervous feeling?

Remind myself that we’re only on this playground once, so take a breath and live.

Alcohol often plays heavily into sex (no really), do you dabble in any chemical arts to relax when getting it on, or do you emotionally raw dog it?

Most of my one night stands featured alcohol or drugs. I prefer sober sex with a partner.

Have you ever had an anxiety attack during physical intimacy? How did you handle it?

Lol. No. I love sex and I generally love my self, so as long as I’m getting good feedback and we’re clicking, I’m good.

Do you have a tried-and-true technique of putting yourself, or your partner, at ease before sex?

Ether.
Kidding. I’m kidding.

Communication. Lots of communication. But there’s also been those times when the chemistry is just right and you really don’t need to talk much.

Of course then you find out the next day that she has split personalities and might have axed somebody once.

In the past, did you build sex up to be more than it is, causing more nervousness than was necessary, or were you a casual sex person without enough worry?

Not really. I was pretty pragmatic even as a teenager.

What advice would you go back and give your virgin self if you could?

Not her. Hold out for better for your first time dude. There will be plenty of pussy in your life.