Writing Smut in First Person Present = Masochism

[Pureotica]

For some reason, I convince myself that the hardest way to do something will work out fine, and I should just go for it.
Even describing the character in 1PP without breaking the rules of the POV is herculean.

In genre if I write first person a lot of times I don't describe the character.
You sort of have to in erotica, though. A soliloquy about the size of the MCs tits is kind of immersion breaking.
Though if you are Shakespeare you can probably get away with it.
I'm not Shakespeare.

Don't get me wrong, now that I started the climb, I'm going to see it the peak. But this POV is a p.i.t.a.
And one that a lot of readers hate to begin with. So like two people will read this anyway.
And the other one will be a beta reader.
And they'll never speak to me again.
Why overambitious writer? Why?

The plot has an exhibitionism theme, sort of, involving a modeling gig. Would using photos for the gig to describe the character stand out in a bad way? Using the convenient mirror that serves no other purpose always does, but at since the photo idea serves a plot relevant purpose I think it could work if I execute properly.

The tension in the story is mostly about the MCs inner struggle with some awakening impulses. There's a reason I'm doing this horrible thing to myself. I'm just struggling to work around the inherent challenges of the perspective.
I'm mostly being tongue in cheek, but it is a p.i.t.a.

 

[onehitwanda]

My first three works here were first-person-present-tense, and I caught a lot of flak for it. I liked it because it made things feel immersive; but readers found it challenging.

Good luck!

 

[alohadave]

a lot of times I don't describe the character.
You sort of have to in erotica, though.

Why?

 

[SimonDoom]

I see nothing wrong with writing in present tense, but the chief problem with it is that so many authors don't do it well. They slip unconsciously between present and past tense, or they screw up the coordinate tenses, using past perfect when they should use present perfect. For the great majority of writers, past tense is what they are more accustomed to, and therefore more likely to get right. Present tense is riskier, but if you know what you're doing and are careful it can work perfectly well.

 

[PandemicReader8]

It's weird, I loath first person narrative, except for crime fiction and porn. The odds of me finishing a third person narative here on Lit are a number approaching zero. And Phillip Marlow is the archetype of all detectives, so...

But, any other genre written in first person narrative, a total non-starter. I'll not finish chapter one.

And present tense... thank you, no.

 

[Pureotica]

Why?

Why don't I describe them? depends on the story. In a short enough story, where the char has a strong enough voice, you can get away without doing it.
Or why do you need to in erotica? Never thought of not describing one. Maybe because its kind of a visual medium, in a sense. I suppose there are times when it could work if you didn't. I'll have to think it through.

 

[EmilyMiller]

For some reason, I convince myself that the hardest way to do something will work out fine, and I should just go for it.
Even describing the character in 1PP without breaking the rules of the POV is herculean.

In genre if I write first person a lot of times I don't describe the character.
You sort of have to in erotica, though. A soliloquy about the size of the MCs tits is kind of immersion breaking.
Though if you are Shakespeare you can probably get away with it.
I'm not Shakespeare.

Don't get me wrong, now that I started the climb, I'm going to see it the peak. But this POV is a p.i.t.a.
And one that a lot of readers hate to begin with. So like two people will read this anyway.
And the other one will be a beta reader.
And they'll never speak to me again.
Why overambitious writer? Why?

The plot has an exhibitionism theme, sort of, involving a modeling gig. Would using photos for the gig to describe the character stand out in a bad way? Using the convenient mirror that serves no other purpose always does, but at since the photo idea serves a plot relevant purpose I think it could work if I execute properly.

The tension in the story is mostly about the MCs inner struggle with some awakening impulses. There's a reason I'm doing this horrible thing to myself. I'm just struggling to work around the inherent challenges of the perspective.
I'm mostly being tongue in cheek, but it is a p.i.t.a.

https://literotica.com/s/on-my-knees-a-fantasy

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I've done quite a lot of first-person present tense, never found it hard, and no-one's ever commented on my use of person nor tense.

It works when I've got one strong character who wants to tell everything they're thinking, and the story doesn't need the views of other characters to be 100% accurate (filtered through MC is fine).

The first 200 words of Steak and a Blow Job Day establishes our protagonist, including what he looks like. Or similar numbers of words in Chaperoning Matthew, for our female narrator and her male ex.

If your characters are observing and commenting on everything they say and do, then their and others' looks will be included naturally.

 

[Pureotica]

I see nothing wrong with writing in present tense, but the chief problem with it is that so many authors don't do it well. They slip unconsciously between present and past tense, or they screw up the coordinate tenses, using past perfect when they should use present perfect. For the great majority of writers, past tense is what they are more accustomed to, and therefore more likely to get right. Present tense is riskier, but if you know what you're doing and are careful it can work perfectly well.

It's definitely the more challenging to write, and not my first choice most of the time. There's a story specific reason for it.

 

[Pureotica]

It's weird, I loath first person narrative, except for crime fiction and porn. The odds of me finishing a third person narative here on Lit are a number approaching zero. And Phillip Marlow is the archetype of all detectives, so...

But, any other genre written in first person narrative, a total non-starter. I'll not finish chapter one.

And present tense... thank you, no.

I know some of the things I write will be niche out of the gate. I embrace the consequences. 1pp is rare everywhere else, but it's the default in some YA subgenres. It can be done well, but it's the more difficult path. My writing goal isn't to convert anyone. It's to tailor the perspective to the specific story. I don't mind experiments. Even the ones that blow up in my face. The writing process itself is kind of fun to me. I'm a word and language nerd.

 

[alohadave]

I see nothing wrong with writing in present tense, but the chief problem with it is that so many authors don't do it well. They slip unconsciously between present and past tense, or they screw up the coordinate tenses, using past perfect when they should use present perfect. For the great majority of writers, past tense is what they are more accustomed to, and therefore more likely to get right. Present tense is riskier, but if you know what you're doing and are careful it can work perfectly well.

I write exclusively in past tense, and it can be just as easy to slip tenses.

 

[AlinaX]

I enjoy writing in first person present, but if done wrong it can be irritating for readers.

 

[PandemicReader8]

My writing goal isn't to convert anyone. It's to tailor the perspective to the specific story. I don't mind experiments. Even the ones that blow up in my face. The writing process itself is kind of fun to me.

Just don't let the experiential unleash a mutated virus that kills your desire to write.

 

[SimonDoom]

I write exclusively in past tense, and it can be just as easy to slip tenses.

That may be true for you, but it's not true for me and I don't believe it's true for most, based on stories I've read.

Most of the time, if a story starts in past tense, there are no tense problems. This is not true of stories that start in present tense. Every time I read a story at Literotica in present tense I brace for tense errors, and I very often find them. And I think this is because a) since past tense is more familiar authors are more likely unconsciously to slip back into it, and b) many authors do not understand how to coordinate other tenses with present tense. I see that all the time.

It's not a reason not to try it, because if done well it can work perfectly fine, and it has a character of its own that can be well suited for some stories.

 

[Pureotica]

I've done quite a lot of first-person present tense, never found it hard, and no-one's ever commented on my use of person nor tense.

It works when I've got one strong character who wants to tell everything they're thinking, and the story doesn't need the views of other characters to be 100% accurate (filtered through MC is fine).

The first 200 words of Steak and a Blow Job Day establishes our protagonist, including what he looks like. Or similar numbers of words in Chaperoning Matthew, for our female narrator and her male ex.

If your characters are observing and commenting on everything they say and do, then their and others' looks will be included naturally.

I'm being a little tongue in cheek. The project I'm working on is an inner struggle type of story with a subtle undercurrent, assuming I have the chops to accomplish it, which isn't a given. lol. It has some challenging aspects. Thanks for the feedback. At least I know that 1pp can be successful on the site. It's weird here sometimes. Things I think are good don't land, but things I wasn't sure about do better.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I'm being a little tongue in cheek. The project I'm working on is an inner struggle type of story with a subtle undercurrent, assuming I have the chops to accomplish it, which isn't a given. lol. It has some challenging aspects. Thanks for the feedback. At least I know that 1pp can be successful on the site. It's weird here sometimes. Things I think are good don't land, but things I wasn't sure about do better.

Just realised Chaperoning Matthew is actually past tense, with flashbacks in pluperfect... Turkish Delight is present tense, though, with description in the first couple hundred words.

I seem to end up with present tense when there's a more colloquial narrator.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Descriptions in the first person can be challenging, and difficult to not make it sound as if the narrator is bragging. However, if the writer is clever, certain attributes can be fleshed out via,
Comparisons - She was just an inch or so shorter than my five foot, eight inches.
Dialog - "Come over here, handsome." As I stepped before her she ran her hands over my chest. "I just love your muscles," she said.
Action - She ran her hair through my brown hair, and played with short hairs at the nape of my neck.
Those three lines spread out over a few paragraphs have told us that the MC is 5'8", handsome with likely short brown hair, and muscular. Very little is required beyond that, let the reader's mind's-eye fill in the rest.

Avoid the descriptor paragraph at ALL costs. I think there is a place for both first person and third person in erotica and the quality of each is usually evident in the first ten paragraphs or so. First-person, flows better as I'm writing. Third-person requires more thought and is generally slower going for me. I let the story and cast decide which I use.

 

[Djmac1031]

I wrote a short First Person Present Tense story as an... experiment, of sorts.

Nothing I would publish here.

Yeah, the biggest trick is KEEPING it present tense unless referring specifically to something that happened in the past.

As for reader preferences; it's subjective.

If the STORY is good enough, it shouldn't matter what perspective or tense it's told from.

Good luck with it.

 

[djrip]

I wrote a short First Person Present Tense story as an... experiment, of sorts.

Nothing I would publish here.

Yeah, the biggest trick is KEEPING it present tense unless referring specifically to something that happened in the past.

As for reader preferences; it's subjective.

If the STORY is good enough, it shouldn't matter what perspective or tense it's told from.

Good luck with it.

My present tense story, I was literally shifting back into past tense and then going back and fixing it every paragraph or two. I could not stop myself from slipping back into past after a sentence or three.

 

[Djmac1031]

My present tense story, I was literally shifting back into past tense and then going back and fixing it every paragraph or two. I could not stop myself from slipping back into past after a sentence or three.

I wrote mine First Person Present Tense because it was about a dream and I wanted it from the perspective of the character as he's dreaming.

The biggest mistake I kept making was having something happen in Present Tense, but a character REACTING to it in Past Tense.

 

[oneagainst]

In the positive side, first person POV is also a way to turbocharge the pace of your story... every action is immediate, you don't need to struggle with how you show the character's reactions or motivations or feelings because you can see inside. It can be a lot more raw and honest. I'd say lean into it. I just started The Light Between The Trees with a FMC in first person, and it's ripping along at quite a clip, with everything stripped back that would normally be weighing down third person to get the same level of depth.

It's also the only place where you can break the fourth wall, which leads to all sorts of possibilities.

 

[Bramblethorn]

For some reason, I convince myself that the hardest way to do something will work out fine, and I should just go for it.
Even describing the character in 1PP without breaking the rules of the POV is herculean.

In genre if I write first person a lot of times I don't describe the character.
You sort of have to in erotica, though.

You don't, though. Almost all my stories here are first-person with close to zero physical description of the narrator and not much more for their lover/s. It doesn't seem to have hurt them.

Yes, some readers want detailed description, but some prefer minimal description because it lets them project their own preferences or themselves onto the characters.

 

[Voboy]

I'd nope right out of a 1PP story, fairly or un-. Just not my cuppa.

I slip tenses all the time, but I write largely in FP and I think it lends a conversational, informal tone. After all, we slip tenses verbally all the time.

 

[Pureotica]

Descriptions in the first person can be challenging, and difficult to not make it sound as if the narrator is bragging. However, if the writer is clever, certain attributes can be fleshed out via,
Comparisons - She was just an inch or so shorter than my five foot, eight inches.
Dialog - "Come over here, handsome." As I stepped before her she ran her hands over my chest. "I just love your muscles," she said.
Action - She ran her hair through my brown hair, and played with short hairs at the nape of my neck.
Those three lines spread out over a few paragraphs have told us that the MC is 5'8", handsome with likely short brown hair, and muscular. Very little is required beyond that, let the reader's mind's-eye fill in the rest.

Avoid the descriptor paragraph at ALL costs. I think there is a place for both first person and third person in erotica and the quality of each is usually evident in the first ten paragraphs or so. First-person, flows better as I'm writing. Third-person requires more thought and is generally slower going for me. I let the story and cast decide which I us

In the positive side, first person POV is also a way to turbocharge the pace of your story... every action is immediate, you don't need to struggle with how you show the character's reactions or motivations or feelings because you can see inside. It can be a lot more raw and honest. I'd say lean into it. I just started The Light Between The Trees with a FMC in first person, and it's ripping along at quite a clip, with everything stripped back that would normally be weighing down third person to get the same level of depth.

It's also the only place where you can break the fourth wall, which leads to all sorts of possibilities.

Its immediate and it's deep in away that 3rd can't achieve. The reader rides around in the MCs head. you can do some thing you just can't with 3rd. Not every story needs those things, but when it's right, it's right.

 

[Pureotica]

You don't, though. Almost all my stories here are first-person with close to zero physical description of the narrator and not much more for their lover/s. It doesn't seem to have hurt them.

Yes, some readers want detailed description, but some prefer minimal description because it lets them project their own preferences or themselves onto the characters.

That makes sense. I did a first person, cyberpunkish story a few years back where I never describe the MC, but dropped subtle hints that painted a pretty good impression of the character. It wasn't erotica, and it was't successful in other ways. I may return to it at some point.