Workshop: Amsterdam

[KillerMuffin]

Hey folks! We have a story for you to look over. Please welcome Amsterdam with your wonderfully insightful commentary!


From the author

Its working title and tag line are as follows: The Luckiest Guy in the World and How Ross Geller helped me bed Shannen Doherty. It is for posting in the celebrity section of lit stories.

Overall, I'm happy with the story but welcome comments on the prose and would like alternative title suggestions! I suppose my only concern is the story length and I ask the good people of lit: Did the first few paragraphs make you want to keep reading.

The story


Shannen Doherty. That’s right, Shannen Doherty. Have you seen her? Of course you have. Maybe you’ve seen her on TV as the fresh faced teenager Brenda Walsh on Beverly Hills 90210, or maybe as one of the three powerful and beautiful sisters on the entertaining series Charmed. Maybe you’ve seen her on the big screen or in her new role as a presenter of the ‘hidden camera show’ Scare Tactics. Stunning isn’t she.

Well, I’ve seen Shannen Doherty on TV but here’s where I may differ. I’ve not just seen her on TV, I’ve seen her in the flesh too. And, not just at a distance in some swanky restaurant or from behind roped barriers along with hundreds of other fans at a film premier. Not my style. No. I’ve seen Shannen Doherty up close and personal, butt naked, wearing only the sweetest smile you have ever seen. That’s right, you got it; plain old simple me. Russ Harrison, former barman and dodgy rock group front man, one time office clerk and now amazing time story teller.

You see, my life was plodding along quite nicely: I had an okay job, working with okay people, it wasn’t too stressful and the pay was adequate. I thought everything was just about complete when I finally met the girl I’d always dreamed of. The one I was looking for who would love me with equal measure. I knew Susan was that girl within days of us getting together. Three years later we were both wearing gold bands on our ring fingers and talking about having kids. Nice and easy does it.

Nice and easy up to my 30th birthday anyway. This is where my life started to change. I guess I just couldn’t believe that I was 30. Bloody 30 years old! Responsible people were 30 years old. People achieved things by the time they were 30.

Sitting down with an ice cold Budweiser in the corner of the pub on my birthday while my mates were laughing and joking playing killer on the pool table, I thought to myself ‘there has to be something more to life.’ I guess I wasn’t the first to think exactly that, but I was beginning to think it was some sort of sign from above when the song ‘Is this it?’ by The Strokes came on the pub jukebox that night. Fortunately, probably due to the fact that I’d had a drink or two, I didn’t keep the feelings to myself. Things had built up. I was suddenly dismayed at being stuck in a dead end office job while my wife’s career went into overdrive, and the chances of me leaving my mark on the world rested somewhere between slim and no chance with the later being the 5-1 on favourite. Ring any alarm bells for you?

“Susan,” I said in a slightly slurred and whiny voice as I climbed in the bed beside her later that night.

“What?” she replied sharply, probably thinking I wanted to climb on top of her.

“Nothing, doesn’t matter.” I rolled over and switched off the bed side light.

She turned noisily and put her arm around my waist. “I’m sorry sweetie. I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just a little tired that’s all. Did you have a nice birthday?”

“Yes thanks. Well, no. Oh I don’t know.”

“What do you mean? What’s wrong with you honey? Need some stress relief,” she said stifling a giggle as her hand started to snake down towards my flaccid cock.

“No, no. It’s okay.” I grabbed her hand and moved it back to my stomach, rolling over at the same time to look at her. She touched my face with her other hand.

“Must be something serious if you’re turning that down,” she said with genuine concern in her voice. “What’s wrong?”

I smiled back at her. “It’s my life, its rubbish.”

She frowned at me and then laughed. “You’re joking right? Come here Mister Beer-breath,” she said laughing while making another grab for my crown jewels.

I squirmed out of the way and sat up in bed, switching the light on at the same time. “Stop it Susie. I’m serious.”

This time, I could tell from the look in her face that she knew I wasn’t joking around. “Sorry honey. What is it really? Is it me? What’s wrong? Tell me.” She looked worried.

“No, course it’s not you babe.” I meant it as well. How could it be her? She was too good for words. “It’s just, oh this is going to sound silly. Maybe we should talk about it when we’re both sober.”

“You can’t make a profound statement like ‘my life is crap’ and then ask me to forget about it ‘til morning. Tell me!”

“I never said it was crap. I said it was rubbish.” She raised her eyebrows at me and I knew I better get serious. “I need more from my life. I need to leave something behind. I want to be remembered.”

For a moment I thought my wife was going to laugh again. “I thought we decided that your chances of making it as a Rock star were dead and buried,” she said smiling softly.

“They are, but there’s got to be something else. This job is killing me. I need to get off the slippery slope into nothingness and do something I enjoy.”

“Well what’s stopping you?” she asked.

I paused for a moment, thinking about it before answering. “Money for starters, then there’s everybody else. What would people say if I just gave up a perfectly good job to look for something else when I don’t even know what I want to do? Your parents, my parents, our friends; I wouldn’t know what to say to them. Not only that, but the something is even an unknown something. What if there is nothing else? Or what if I found what I wanted and I didn’t get the job or was no good at it?”

“Well you’re never going to know unless you try are you?” she said tilting her head to the side in a knowing manner. “You can forget the money too. We can comfortably live on my wage at the moment and who gives a flying fuck what anyone else says? It’s your life Russ. If you’re unhappy, then pack it in and find something that will make you happy and content.”

I looked at her in wonder for a moment. How could I have ever doubted that she’d understand, or that she would support me? “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious, now come here big boy.” She had that wicked grin on her face again as her hands began to roam over my chest and she crouched forward and tugged the duvet off of me.

I must have had the widest smile in the world at that moment in time. Susan’s fingers were busy gently rubbing my tingling nipples while her skilful tongue was slowly dancing around my stiffening cock. Maybe she was right. Hey, if I’d managed to find somebody as amazing as Susie, why couldn’t I find the job that would make me happy? The job that could make a difference to peoples lives and give everyone something to remember me by.

I moaned deeply as her wet mouth noisily moved up and down my stiff rod, pausing every now and again so that her tongue would dwell on the glans before continuing its adventure south over my corona and shaft. My nuts began to tighten and sensing I was close to ejaculating, Susan lips began to move quicker up and down my cock and she tweaked that little bit harder on my nipples.

A blinding flash of ecstasy washed over me within seconds. My head snapped backwards as I muttered, “Oh god, Susie. I love you,” before releasing several indecipherable groans and grunts, the sticky liquid erupting from my cock into Susan’s receptive mouth as my world went black.

The blissful waves of pleasure continued rippling through my body before slowly subsiding as my muscles relaxed. I opened my eyes to see Susan’s smirking face looking up at me, her tongue hungrily licking the last drop of semen hanging on to her prehensile lips. She swallowed and moved up the bed to kiss me softly on my mouth. “Happy thirtieth birthday sweetie.”

* * * * *

So, how do you get from a mini mid-life crisis to Shannen Doherty? Well, just stay with me a little while longer. You see after those words of wisdom from Susan, I woke up the next morning in a surprisingly determined mood. I’m not sure who was more astonished when I marched into my boss’s office and laid my resignation letter on the desk: her or me.

It was flattering that she tried to talk me out of it, but the prospect of only having to wait another two years until the next likely round of promotions confirmed I was doing the right thing. I felt great.

The night after my last day at work, two weeks later, reality struck. I was sat at home feeling very alone, wondering what the hell I’d done. Up until then I’d managed to fend off the expected questions of what I was going to do next with a knowing laugh and a tap of the nose. “You’ll see,” I said. The truth was I still hadn’t a clue. Susan came home that night and was just as supportive as she’d been on my birthday. “You’ll figure it out honey,” she reassured me.

The next day, I finally went and broke the news to my parents. I’d put it off because I thought they’d be disappointed in me. Again I was wrong and grateful for the further support and encouragement. “What you going to do now then?” asked my Mum.

“Write a book,” I said jokingly.

“Good on yer,” said my Dad nodding his approval.

“What’s it going to be about?” asked Mum.

“Not sure yet. Some sort of crime fiction I reckon.” I replied thinking on my feet. “You know, something I’d enjoy writing about really.”

“You know a lot about crime then son?” asked Dad, a grin shaping on his face as I almost gave him a serious answer.

I went home and thought about what I’d said, the idea growing on me. I decided to give it a go. Why not? What more than a good work ethic, imagination and understanding of English could you need?

I sat in front of the PC for hours before I got my first words down. I had a rough idea of a story but it just developed on its own as I went along and two days later I had my first completed fictional creation. I had a look round on the web for writing tips and groups. I posted a couple of my short stories on a web site where the readers could send feedback. The feedback was positive on the whole and as I posted more stories, the praise levels increased along with my confidence.

After posting my sixth story I was feeling quite chuffed with myself. I enjoyed the writing and wasn’t missing work at all. Well, okay, maybe the banter with my colleagues, but not the rigidity of the hours, the constant ringing phone in the office or the occasional pressure to meet deadlines. No siree. This was good.

Susan commented on how much cheerier I’d become and was genuinely pleased I was doing something I enjoyed and something that she agreed I was good at. She was happy for me to do this whether it worked out or not. There was no pressure to go out and earn some money. God, I loved her.

I spent the next six months concentrating on my first novel; a crime thriller set mainly in my hometown of Sheffield. A story about an ex-computer programmer who was luring young bi-curious married women to various parts of the city where he’d kidnap them, hold them hostage for a few days while leaving unfathomable clues for the local police before killing the victims mercilessly after raping and torturing them. I didn’t think it was particularly original but it was a start.

It took me another four months to edit everything and re-write a few bits on the advice of family and friends who’d read it and suggested alternative ideas. Almost a year later I was happy with it. I contacted a few agents and started my next story straight away, not really expecting anything to happen with my first effort. Within two weeks, I’d had offers from three agents and signed up with the keenest one. Good to his word, he had me a publishing deal within three months.

See the connection with Shannen Doherty yet? Not quite? Well, you see before I knew what was happening, I’d got an international bestseller on my hands, was receiving critical acclaim from all four corners of the globe (one newspaper described me as England’s answer to Thomas Harris – me mentioned in the same sentence as Thomas Harris!) and UIP had bought the film rights to the book and started work on the project right away.

Ah, now you’re with me! Shannen was starring in the film and that’s how I got to meet her right? Well, no, not exactly. That would have been far too easy. It happened in the most bizarre way. A situation I wouldn’t have even conjured up in one of my books. Well, now you know a little bit about me, here’s the real story about how I got to sleep with one of the most famous and beautiful women on the planet. I’m shaking my head as I think about it…

It started when I was invited to Los Angeles to meet with the producers of the film and talk about what I’d got in mind for the soundtrack. I’d signed the deal with the film company on the understanding that I got the final say in what music was used in the movie. They’d reluctantly agreed and were obviously nervous about what crazy songs or scores I had in mind.

It would be my first trip to America and I was pretty excited. I wanted Susan to come with me but she had a couple of important meetings that she needed to attend at work and hoped to be able to join me in a week depending on the outcome of her meetings.

I was met at the airport by a representative of UIP who explained he’d be around to look after me and help out wherever he could. His name was Bob Chay and I figured he was roughly ten years older than me. Said he’d lived in LA all his life, had a wife, a daughter and loved working for UIP. I liked the guy. He seemed genuine and had “luuurved the book. Just luurved it Russ.” He asked me about the writing, when the next book was due etc. and really made me feel welcome.

He told me that my first meeting had been postponed for a few days but I was welcome to sit in on some of the other production get-togethers as an observer. He said it wasn’t such a bad thing. It’d give me time to find my feet and get a feel for the corporation and the city. He also had a big smile across his ruddy face as he told me that negotiations were at an advanced stage with an A-list star to take the lead role of Detective Inspector Monaghan in the film but he couldn’t tell me who.

It was all pretty mind-blowing to be honest. America, LA, Hollywood, the talk of famous actors and actresses starring in a movie based on my book, the very expensive hotel we pulled up outside, and the chance to get a real insight into the movie business. It was a far cry from writing reports, taking mundane phone calls and watching the clock every ten minutes, willing it to go quicker than was physically possible.

I called Susan from the hotel room as soon as I’d bounced up and down on the bed a few times and taken in the pool view from my balcony.

“Susie! I got here safe, the sun is shining, they’re going to get someone really famous to play the part of Monaghan, I have someone assigned to look after me for this whole trip, the hotel room is…”

“Honey slow down!” she said, her voice turning to laughter at the other end of the line. “You’ll run out of breath and then you’ll be no use to anybody.”

I laughed. “Sorry! I’m just so happy and it’s all thanks to you. I love you Susie.”

We talked for forty minutes before she told me she needed to go to bed. I’d forgotten about the time difference already and strangely didn’t feel at all tired. Bob had invited me to go out for dinner with his family later on and I’d accepted. I thought I should probably get my head down for an hour but the adrenaline was pumping through me and I donned my shorts and headed down to the pool to soak up the rays and have an occasional splash around when I got too warm. I smiled again when I saw a lady reading my book. I couldn’t help noticing that she kept turning the pages for the whole ninety minutes or so I was out there. Life was good and it was about to get a hell of a lot better.

That night, dinner with Bob and his wife and daughter was pleasant, the restaurant suitably expensive, stylish and in keeping with the trip so far. As I sat there soaking in the atmosphere and enjoying the different company and strange accents around me, I wondered how long it would be before Susan and I would expand our family. That was one thing that had definitely been put on the back burner since my life had changed beyond belief.

I slept like a baby that night, woke refreshed and sat in awe throughout the two meetings I attended at UIP in the afternoon. I was greeted and treated almost like a god with compliments from virtually everyone I had the privilege of meeting. I was treated to a production meeting where they actually made the decision to set the film in Pittsburgh in order to keep a similar dark and unforgiving setting as in the book. Even more exciting was sitting in with the casting director and her staff as they discussed several of the characters including the fourth victim who escapes and helps Monaghan to catch the killer. The names being mentioned were incredible: Sarah Michelle Geller, Kylie Minogue, Jennifer Aniston, even Brittney Spears was mentioned.

I was buzzing when I came out of there. Buzzing. I called Bob when I got back to the hotel.

“Hey Russ,” he answered. “Good day buddy?”

“Bob, you don’t understand what this is like for me. Unbe-fuckin-lievable day Bob. Just incredible.”

“Great Russ, that’s great. You wanna go out and grab some dinner later?”

“Sure,” I replied, “how about a few bars and maybe even a club afterwards?”

“Err, okay Russ, why not. I’ll send a car to come and get you at eight okay?”

“Fantastic. Thanks.” I hung up the phone guessing that Bob wasn’t as enthusiastic as I was about hitting the high spots later but I was too pumped to worry about it. I figured Bob landed the chaperone job with me as he was a family man and knew LA inside out. Hopefully, he was up for some fun when I met up with him later.

The car dropped me at some place called The Dresden Restaurant, which on first sight didn’t look the most inspiring of venues. I went inside and Bob was waiting for me at a table in the corner, still dressed in his work suit, pale blue shirt and out of date fruit explosion tie. The lighting was low, the place pretty full the atmosphere relaxed and easy. The food was plentiful and delicious; it didn’t stay for long on my plate. Bob was just about halfway through his when I’d finished and he made some joke about taking me to an eating contest next week.

When we’d finished eating, we moved to the lounge, had a couple of beers each and watched the act that was on and the people buzzing around the place. By ten o’clock the place was packed to the rafters and Bob was starting to look a little uncomfortable. I motioned that we should move on after finishing our drinks and he couldn’t knock his back quick enough. The next bar down the road was quieter and lacked the atmosphere of the Dresden. Bob looked tired and bored, his spark from yesterday faded, his mind drifting on to other things when there was a pause in our conversation.

“No offence Bob but you’re starting to look like this is the last place on earth you want to be. Let me guess. Been there, seen it done and done it again and again and again.”

He let out a little laugh and shook his head. “I’m sorry Russ. Home stuff you know? You know?”

“Yeah, sure. Listen let’s call it a night after this one but see if you can think of something a little more wild for tomorrow night eh?”

“I thought you book worms were supposed to be early to bed types?”

“Stereotyping Bob? You of all people should know better than that. Don’t tell me all star actors and actresses are demanding Prima Donna’s?”

He laughed. “I wish it wasn’t true Russ, but invariably it is. Invariably it is.”

Funny that he liked to repeat a lot of what he said. I shrugged my shoulders, necked my Budweiser and placed it on the bar. Bob put his bottle at the side of mine, half finished and we slipped out of the place as anonymously as we’d entered it.

We managed to flag down a cab straight away and Bob told me to go ahead.

“Okay, see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah. Sorry about tonight Russ. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow and don’t forget to bring the CD you talked to Mister Rubenstein about. He wants to have a listen before your meeting.”

“Okay, night Bob.”

He shut the door behind me and I spent the journey back to the hotel counting my blessings that I was even out here, experiencing a different city and culture. I wished that Susan could have been with me. I was starting to feel a bit isolated and lonely. It was becoming apparent that Bob wasn’t the type of guy I’d hang out with if I had the choice. Nice guy that he was, he didn’t like sport, his music tastes were a million miles away from my own and his days of painting the town red were obviously long gone.

I called Susan when I got back to my room but she wasn’t home from work yet. I left her a soppy message on the machine telling her I loved her and I hoped things went well and she could come out and join me for a few days. I lay in bed and drifted off to sleep thinking about my wife’s smile, her touch and her incredible body that I was missing like crazy and I was soon dreaming that I was holding her naked body close to mine.

* * * *

The meeting with Mr Rubenstein and his two assistants was difficult to say the least. They were trying to persuade me that haunting and atmospheric classical music was what was needed throughout the film. They probably had a point but classical music was a mystery to me. I just hadn’t the first clue about it as my classical music collection consisted of the Star Wars movie soundtrack. Period. I was pushing for more of a fast paced Rock sound from some of the English bands I’d grown up listening to.

As I suspected, Bob didn’t manage to keep his promise of showing me a livelier time that night. It was the same on subsequent nights and I found the next three days increasingly difficult. We went down to the beach one day, but I’ve never been one for lying still and Bob’s beer belly told me he wouldn’t be up for Beach Volleyball or any other vigorous activity. I thought about going to ask to join in on a couple of games but I hadn’t played since school and didn’t feel like making a fool of myself.

As luck would have it, the next day I got a call from Crystal at the Studio telling me that Bob had asked for some personal leave and that Jenny would be my new associate guide and that she’d meet me in the hotel lobby at seven tonight. A girl. Interesting. Hopefully she’d be a bit younger than Bob and know how to enjoy the city more.

I managed to talk to Susan before I headed out and told her about the meeting and my new female minder. She let me finish my chatter about the day and then dropped her bombshell. Things were at a difficult stage at work and that she wouldn’t be able to come out and join me. I wanted to tell her to stuff the job and come out anyway but I knew she cared too much about her career. Our financial situation was A1 healthy since the success of the book but she was still very independent, determined and striving for success in her own career. I suppose it was one of the reasons I loved her so much.

I put the phone down and my thoughts remained back home. I had a minimum of four more days out in LA and frankly after the initial buzz of the first couple of days, I was starting to feel a little bored and lonely. I missed Susan; I was missing the football, my mates and sex. I was definitely starting to feel a little frisky. Jeez, less than a week without it and I was already frustrated? I told myself it was the hot weather and the ample supply of sexy bodies and good-looking women on display in LA.

I must have drifted off to sleep and was awoken by a gentle knock on the door. I looked at the clock and let out an expletive as I saw it said 1920. I looked through the peephole of the room door and thought I must have been dreaming. Standing there was the most stunning looking blonde you could imagine. I rubbed my eyes and felt at my hair to make sure it wasn’t stuck up anywhere before I opened the door and smiled widely.

“Mr Harrison? I’m Jenny Flush from UIP. Sorry to disturb you but I was told to meet you…”

I waved my hands to stop her explanation. “I know. My fault. Sorry. I fell asleep on the bed. Come in.”

I stepped aside and let her into the room and cursed myself for checking out her ass as she walked past me into the room. Her perfume was sweet and her skirt was so tight and short that I was sure that she wasn’t wearing any underwear or at best, a skimpy thong. I took a deep breath as I closed the door and turned back to face her, praying that she hadn’t sat down anywhere. I wasn’t confident that I’d be able to keep my eyes from straying.

“So how are you finding LA Mr Harrison?” She was stood looking out of the window and turned to face me as I spoke. She was beautiful. It was obvious that she took a great deal of care over her appearance.

“Great thanks. Well, actually I was hoping to see a bit more than I have so far.” She looked about mid twenties. Certainly younger than I was, her body was tanned and toned, her white wispy blouse covering modest curves and she stood listening intently, twiddling her hair and nodding as I spoke. “The first guy that looked after me, Bob, seemed a bit out of touch with the hip and happening side of town.” No point in beating about the bush I figured.

“Yeah I heard you’d had the pleasure of Blob. They usually stick him with the, how shall we say it? The more refined VIP’s of the corporation. I guess they had you down as a bit of a stiff Mr Harrison.”

“Is that right?” I said laughing. “And it’s Russ. You make me sound a hundred years old when you call me Mr Harrison.”

We shared a laugh and I could already tell I was going to have a whole lot more fun than I did with Bob.

We spent the evening getting to know one another over dinner before she took me to a couple of glitzy bars with young crowds. There was a good mix of males and females and very few groups of just one sex or the other, which was commonplace back home in England. People kept looking our way but I knew it was people either checking out Jenny or thinking ‘what is she doing with him?’ I’m sure no one knew who I was as there was no picture of me anywhere on my novel. Not that it mattered; the main thing was that I was having fun. Jenny bumped in to one or two people she knew and made the effort to introduce me and talk up my book. I thought she was just doing her duty but she told me later that she’d read it and thought it was great.

We finished the night off with an hour of dancing at some hip joint called the Derby Club and I was a little drunk and giggly as we made our way out.

“I had a fantastic night Jen. Thanks.”

“Me too Russ. Nice that work was fun for a change.”

“You take the first cab,” I said as one pulled up along side us.

“We’ll get it together. I live just round the corner from the hotel.”

“Great.” I said diving in the back first. Jenny was a little more refined as she placed her bum on the seat beside me and gracefully swung her legs in. She gave the cab driver the two drop-off points and offered me a gentle beguiling smile.

“Thanks again Jen. I had so much fun.”

She flashed her perfectly straight teeth at me. “I’m glad.” She paused a second, looking out of the window. “You’re a nice guy you know. It’s been the best first ‘date’ I’ve had on the job for months.” She giggled and scrunched her face up. “How much longer are you out here for? They told me to look after you for four days initially but it could be longer.”

“I think that’ll do it actually. I was supposed to get to pick the music for the movie but they don’t seem too keen on my ideas and so I’m thinking we’ll come to some compromise pretty quickly so I can get back home.” I’d so far failed to mention that I was married. I don’t know why and felt quite guilty about it. I immediately thought that if I said anything now, it’d seem as if I was trying to hide it and I was worried she’d like me less. I don’t know what I was playing at. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe the fact that she’d not mentioned a boyfriend or husband of her own.

“What’s so good about back home then? You miss your wife?”

The look on my face must have been a picture. “Yes,” I said staring into space. “More than I thought I would,” I stammered. It was a little unnerving that she knew I was married but I guessed the corporation would have given her background info before coming out to meet me. Now I felt really stupid and I’m sure Jenny could see I was embarrassed. She raised her eyebrows and nodded her head towards my hand. I didn’t understand what she was getting at at first, but then it dawned on me that she was staring at my wedding ring. Busted! I wanted to change the subject quickly. “What did you mean before about work being fun for a change? Do you not normally enjoy it? I think you have a cool job.”

Jenny talked normally, seemingly unperturbed by my married status. Hell, why should she have been? She was a professional doing her job but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed by her reaction, even though I knew nothing could or would happen between us.

“Well, I suppose,” she started. “It’s just that most of the time I’m looking after actors. Most of them are cocky jerks. They waste no time in letting on that all they’re interested in is getting in my knickers and then complaining to the corporation about me when I don’t give them what they want. My brief is to make sure I do everything I can for the people I look after. Get them everything I can, comply with all their requests etc. As you can imagine, it’s not always a bed of roses and if they can’t get what they want from me, they often demand I take them somewhere where they can get it. That was no fun at first but I’ve actually made some good friends of the girls I call on. We have a mutual respect and I like to get the gossip the next morning just in case the guy is being a real pain in the ass and I can politely whisper and tell them that I know they like to be dressed in a giant nappy and treated like a baby. It’s amazing what some people get off on. Well here’s your hotel Russ.”

I was fascinated by all this and wanted to hear more. I wasn’t ready for bed yet either. “Don’t suppose you fancy one in the bar do you? A drink I mean, if you want to that is. Don’t feel like you have to because if you…”

She put her finger to my lips and I felt a buzz of excitement shimmer through my body. “I’d love to,” she said smiling.

The hotel bar was quiet. An old guy in the corner entertaining some young skinny thing who was probably being paid by the hour or getting to know the boss better than she should have been, and a middle aged suit sat at the bar chatting with the solitary barmaid. I got the drinks in and we sat across from one another at a table in the opposite corner to the odd couple.

“I wasn’t exactly looking forward to tonight,” said Jenny as I put the drinks down on the marble top table in between us. “A married English writer wasn’t my idea of an ideal date.”

“I’ll bet.” I said laughing. I took a sip of my whisky, being careful to keep my eyes focused on her face.

“Is there anything you want to do in particular tomorrow or anything else I can get for you tonight?”

‘Yeah I want to shag you senseless and you could get me some handcuffs so I’d be at your mercy’ was the sentence that immediately jumped into my head. Fortunately, this was closely followed by an image of Susan with her head cocked to one side, her eyebrows raised while she had one arm across her chest, the other wagging a finger at me. “No, nothing else and I’ll leave the decision making up to you on where we go if that’s okay. I wouldn’t mind listening to more of your anecdotes though. I bet you could write a book yourself.”

“Well, I would if I hadn’t had to sign a confidentiality clause when I completed my contract for the job. Not allowed to mention any names I’m afraid.”

“What, just in print or is the spoken word a no no as well?”

“I’m afraid so Russ. My lips are sealed.” She drew an imaginary zip across her mouth.

“Aw come on Jen. I won’t tell. Scouts honour,” I said giving her the old three-fingered salute.

“Nuh-uh. Sorry Russ, no can do. How would you like it if I went around telling everyone that you purposefully avoided telling me you were married?”

I felt the heat rising to my cheeks and I didn’t know what to say. Jenny was laughing at my embarrassment but stopped abruptly and looked like she was holding her breath when she realised I wasn’t sharing the joke.

“I was only kidding Russ,” she finally said. “I didn’t mean anything. I was just teasing.”

“It’s okay. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. In fact I was thinking I was stupid for not telling you, especially when you let on you knew. I guess I was thinking you might like me less.” I shrugged my shoulders and looked away from her.

“And that there would be no chance of getting me into bed if I knew you were married?” she said deadpan.

“Hey, I’d never…” I stopped as I looked up at her and could see she was about to burst out laughing again. Teasing me for all she was worth. I beat her to the laughter and we were in hysterics for a minute or so, drawing attention from the others in the bar.

“So how long have you been married?” Jenny asked when we’d finally stopped chuckling.

“Two years. I’m a lucky guy Jenny. She’s a wonderful woman. I wouldn’t be here now if it wasn’t for her. You two would get on like a house on fire. Here.” I took out a picture of Susan from my wallet and slid it across the table, careful to avoid the few drops of liquid splashed around on the surface of the marble.

“Wow, she’s beautiful Russ,” she said starring intently at the photo.

“Thanks. What about you? Have you got anyone?”

“Not at the moment. I was seeing this guy but he moved east for a promotion and made it obvious that that was more important to him than I was. I could have gone with him but all my friends and family are here. Not to mention the job, which I curse and moan about a lot, but secretly, I love it. Love being round famous, talented people, love the city and love the attention as I go about my work.”

“Yeah, I noticed you don’t exactly get ignored wherever you go. Not that I blame anyone for looking. You are beautiful Jenny.”

“Thanks.” This time it was her turn to blush. The surprising red flush rising to her cheeks only served to make her more endearing and likeable. “But I meant that I get noticed when I’m out with the celebs.” She took a swig of her vodka. “This is kind of a personal question,” she paused gauging my response.

“Go on.”

“Have you or would you ever cheat on your wife?”

“Never have done, never would do,” I said straight away. It was true as well. Of course I cheated on her all the time in my head but figured this was pretty normal and didn’t count. I spent the next few moments wondering if she was interested in me and felt that buzz of excitement again as I waited for her to say something. She was busy stirring what was left of the ice in her drink looking deep in thought.

“I really admire that you know,” she said eventually. “I thought you might say that and I have to say it makes you even more attractive. She’s a lucky lady your wife Russ.”

“I guess we’re just lucky to have each other.”

She smiled that beguiling smile of hers again before it slowly faded, leaving her staring into space, looking sad and contemplative. She turned and indicated to the lady behind the bar that she wanted another drink. I shook my head when she nodded at me. I’d had enough.

“Hey,” I exclaimed hoping to cheer her up. “I just realised I told you a little white lie.”

“How so?”

“Do you ever watch Friends?”

She looked quizzical now. “The TV show?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t watch it religiously but when it’s on and I’m in I’ll watch it. Why?” The lady behind the bar fetched her drink over, placing it on a napkin on the table. Jenny swirled round the ice with her fingers before taking a swig.

“Did you ever see the one where Ross had this laminated list of famous people that Rachel agreed he could sleep with if he ever got the chance?”

“Yeah,” she laughed. “That was funny. He bumps into Isabella Rossellini right and has just scrubbed her off his list or something?”

“Bingo.” I fished my wallet out again and as I did so Jenny groaned from the other side of the table, guessing what I was about to produce. I pulled my own version of Ross’ list and frisbee’d it over to her. It was credit card sized and laminated for authenticity.

She was shaking her head, laughing at me. “You’ve got to be kidding, no fucking way!” She looked over the names on the front of the card, reading each one off and commenting as she went along. “Susan Sarandon, too old! Kylie Minogue, too small! Jennifer Aniston, too married to the most gorgeous man on the planet.”

I coughed after that comment. “Present company excepted,” she swiftly added glancing up to wink at me before continuing. “Rachel Hunter, too into Rock Stars, Nicole Kidman, too, too, err ginger!” She flipped the card, engrossed now. “Liv Tyler, too elf like…”

“Too elf like?”

She pressed on ignoring me. “Angelina Jolie, too dangerous, Shannen Doherty. Umm.” She paused, nodding her head. “Interesting.”

She looked up at me and smiled, a knowing smile. I stopped laughing and gave her a puzzled frown. “What, not too feisty or dark or bitchy?”

“Maybe, maybe not. But interesting because she’s attending a party tomorrow night that I have an invite for. You wanna come?”

“Bollocks! I don’t believe you.”

“Suit yourself,” she said smugly.

“You’re serious?” Her eye’s widened and she nodded a yes. “Count me in then. Where is it?” I said excitedly.

“Aaron Wallender’s mansion, Beverly Hills.”

I took a big swig of my whisky draining the glass, except for two half melted ice cubes. “Who the fuck’s Aaron Wallender when he’s at home?”

“Only one of the richest men on the West Coast of America.” She leaned back into her seat, fanning herself with my ‘celebrities I’d like to shag’ list, looking relaxed and pleased with herself again. “He’s like number two in UIP. I’m surprised you’ve never heard of him.”

I suddenly remembered the gallery of portraits on the wall as you enter the main doors at UIP. “Aaron Wallender? Hmm, let’s see. Old guy, dyed black hair, fake tan, big toothy smile right?”

“Very good, although I’d keep that description to myself if I was you.”

“Okay,” I said grinning.

“Another drink?”

“I think I’ll pass actually Jenny. If there’s a chance I’m going to see Shannen Doherty tomorrow night, I need all the beauty sleep I can get.”

She looked disappointed. “Don’t get your hopes up too high. There’s going to be hundreds of people there and celebrities are renowned for not showing at these things or at best making a brief appearance and then bailing.”

“Celebrities as in plural? Who else is supposed to be there?”

“Arnie, Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, a few other B-listers.”

“Arnie as in Arnold Schwarzzneger?” I failed to hide the excitement in my voice.

“Yes, that Arnie. Maybe we shouldn’t go if you’re just going to embarrass me.”

I gave her a serious look. “I won’t. I promise. Best behaviour, no embarrassing.”

“Okay, we’ll go.”

“Yay!”

“But first you have to tell me if it’s true.”

“What?”

“That Susan would happily let you screw one of these women if you had the chance.” She threw the list back at me, hitting me square on the chest, the list coming to rest on my lap.

“Hey, I never said anything about her being happy about it but she said I could do it. Look, it says there at the bottom and she’s signed it.” I leaned across to show her the card again and highlight the small print.

“So would you tell her?”

“Aww come on. It’s not like it’s gonna happen anyway. It’s just a bit of a laugh really.”

“It might.”

“Jeez Jenny. And I thought I was the one who lived in a dream world!” I was secretly excited at the thought but admitting it seemed like a sure fire way of cursing my slim hopes.

“It may not have been a possibility two or three years ago, but now you’re mixing in the land of the famous, anything could happen.” She had a glint in her eye and gave my cheek a playful tug across the table. My mind drifted to thoughts of meeting Shannen Doherty, her finding me irresistible and the two of us not being able to wait ‘til we got to the hotel room, clothes being shed frantically in a spacious mirrored lift.

“Russ. Hello.” Jenny said clicking her fingers.

“Sorry.”

“I suppose I better go then.” She knocked back what was left of her drink and stood. I walked her out to the hotel forecourt where a short man in a smart green outfit with gold buttons whistled a cab over for her.

“Tomorrow then,” she said.

“Well, today actually,” I quipped. She attempted to clip the back of my head with her right hand but I managed to duck out of the way. She lost her balance a little as she missed and I caught her before she fell any further. Our eyes met, our faces almost touching and I swallowed hard as she moved slowly forward to kiss me. Her lips were soft and cool as they gently brushed my own, lingering just longer than would be considered normal between friends. We both pulled away at the same time, giving each other an embarrassed smile.

“Night Russ,” she said twirling her hair as she ducked into the cab.

“Good night Jen.”

I closed the door behind her and waved as she was driven away.

Sleep didn’t come easy that night. Little more than a peck on the lips and I was racked with guilt. Crazy. I mean, how would I cope if I really did have the chance to sleep with one of the ladies on my list? It was a question I’d never thought about before but Jenny’s words were circling in my head and now I was alive to the possibility of it actually happening.

I woke in a sweat early in the morning. It was five am and I had a sore head and a dry throat. I called room service and ordered some mineral water and headache tablets. I started recalling the dream I’d had as I waited for them to arrive. Jenny had been riding on top of me, fucking me for all I was worth when in walked Susan going absolutely mad, flying at Jenny with her handbag and screaming at me, “she’s not on the list! She’s not famous!”

I reached for the phone but stopped before my hand reached the receiver, realising that Susan would be at work. I thought about calling her there but then she’d be upset unless it was something important which it quite evidently wasn’t; At least not on the grand scale of things and definitely not important to Susan. After swallowing two paracetamol when they arrived, I tossed and turned for another hour before getting out of bed, deciding to go for a walk to clear my head.

Once downstairs, I moved from the artificially lit hotel lobby to the bright, early morning sunshine of the outside world. I squinted, shielding my eyes with my hand and headed down the long drive and out on to the main road. I realised walking wasn’t going to be easy. The infrastructure was quite clearly designed for vehicles, not pedestrians and my route was dictated for me as I headed in whichever direction there was a pathway.

After walking for ten minutes, I came to an open grassy area and sat myself down on a concrete bench. The seat was cold, as the branches of a tall tree to my left cloaked it. I sat resting my chin in my hands, watching the early morning traffic rumble past in front of me, the volume slowly increasing as time drifted on.

Hazy recollections of the night before were flicking in and out of my mind. Crowded bars, Jenny’s sparkling eyes, too many drinks, way too much laughter and fun, the list, the goodbye kiss and having to suppress the feeling of desire and lust. No question I would have liked to have taken it further. Surely that was wrong for a married man? I shook the thought out of my head telling myself that nothing had happened and nothing would. I’d made a promise to Susan and I was going to keep it.

I laughed then. I laughed at myself for letting Jenny and the booze making me actually believe that it was a possibility that I could actually sleep with one of the women on my list. Hell, it’d still be nothing short of a miracle if I actually got to meet any of them, never mind end up in the sack playing horizontal bumping and grinding. It wasn’t as if I had a great body or was good looking or anything. I mean, I was okay, but certainly no George Clooney.

My thoughts started to drift again, thinking how I’d break the news to Susan if it actually happened. ‘Hi Suzie, it’s me. You’re never gonna believe this but I’ve just given Shannen Doherty one from behind.’ She’d laugh and think I was joking. I figured that was how I could get away with it. I could tell her the truth and it wouldn’t be my fault if she didn’t believe me. Would it? Well, no, but I’d still feel guilty as hell. I shook my head vigorously, trying to bring myself back to reality.

“Hey, you think you got problems there sir? Well look at me.” I glanced up to see a scruffy looking old man who looked like he hadn’t had a bath in a year. He had a full on Santa beard, his green jacket was torn in several places and his face was heavily weathered and wrinkled.

“Spare me a couple of dollars for a drink and I’ll sit and listen to your problems and see if I can come up with a solution for yer.”

I didn’t ask what kind of drink he was looking for but I guessed it wouldn’t be a cup of tea. I pulled out a roll of notes from my trouser pocket and peeled off a five dollar bill. It was all Monopoly money to me. “I’ll pass on the advice thanks,” I said handing over the money.

The smile that appeared on his face could have been that of a lottery winner. “God bless you young man. A true English gentleman; who’d have thought it.” He scratched his beard, examining the note with glee. “My great, great grandfather was born in Ireland. May you have the luck of the Irish.” He rubbed the top of my head as if to bestow some magical good fortune on me and proceeded on his way, whistling as he did so.

I slowly got to my feet thinking I’d already had all the luck of a lifetime in just the past year and retraced my steps back to the hotel.

* * * * *

The day’s meetings were a bit of a drag. I was sent off to listen to some classical film scores in order to come up with a composer or style that I liked. It seemed there was no way I was going to get away with an all rock soundtrack and my mind was elsewhere, not at all in the mood for rational arguments. One of the producers had accepted one of the songs I’d chosen, ‘Signs’ by Blameless, but they were ‘continuing to assess’ the rest of my original choices. I thought it might have helped things if they weren’t all dinosaurs and had some young ears to match those of the cinema going audience but I kept my opinions to myself and got on with the task at hand.

Jenny popped in to say hi at about three in the afternoon and said she’d be round at the hotel for me at eight. We arranged to meet in the bar. I got a whiff of her sweet perfume as she turned to head out of the door, which immediately reminded me of our goodnight kiss. Life was never simple.

At nine o’clock sharp, Jenny and I pulled up outside the Wallender Mansion, Beverly Hills. Jenny paid the driver and then linked her arm to my own as we scaled the steps together. We were greeted with curt nods from the two henchmen at the top of our climb and we joined the back of a small queue of couples. I was busy looking around to see if I could recognise anyone and felt a tug on my arm as Jenny herded us towards a glamorous middle aged lady.

“Good evening.” Her voice was a strange mixture of aristocratic English and American drawl. “Do you have your invitations sir?”

Jenny answered for me, opening her handbag and producing the non-too subtle invitation card.

“Thank you Ma’am. Have a nice evening.” Her smile was rehearsed and as we moved away, she started her stock greeting for the next guests.

The sheer size of the entrance hall was overwhelming. It wasn’t dissimilar to how I imagined a Greek palace to be; ivory walls with gold decorative trim, ancient naked statues and tall pillars encircled by ivy. The artwork looked authentic and most of the paintings were huge.

“Wow,” I said. I could tell Jenny was pleased that I was both impressed and excited. We were handed a glass of champagne each as we made our way between two columns and into the next room beyond. It was four times the size of the entrance hall and was overlooked by a balcony, where several guests had already gathered looking down on us. To the right was an opening leading out to an Olympic sized swimming pool, complete with diving boards. I looked around and estimated that there were at least three hundred people already in the room, probably more. A few people were outside chatting at the poolside, coolly drinking their champagne and nibbling at the canapé’s doing the rounds. Like me, the men were in Tuxes, a mixture of both black and white, the women dolled up in expensive designer dresses, jewellery dripping from necks and wrists at every turn. The music was soft and low, the biggest noise being the excited hum of conversation.

“Fuck me,” I whispered.

“Stay cool,” Jenny shot back. “Remember, no embarrassing me. You promised.”

She grabbed my hand briefly and squeezed gently, probably guessing that I felt out of my depth and a little out of place. The scene just screamed ‘glitz!’ and I figured I was the only person there who didn’t have a tan: fake or real.

“Come on, there’s Kyle Lovenz,” said Jenny tugging at my arm again.

“Who?”

“Mandalay Bay. You must get that in the UK surely?”

“If we do I’ve never seen it. What is it?”

“Day time soap. Kyle’s plays a doctor. He was up for a part in Death Train six months or so ago but didn’t get the part. I hung out with him for a couple of days.”

He was all false smiles and hair gel as we approached and he held his arms open for Jenny as if she was a long lost relative. His date looked as impressed as I was as Jenny flung her arms round him, smiling profusely.

“Jenny darling, it’s been too long.” She broke from his grasp and turned to introduce me.

“This is Russ Harrison. UIP are in the process of turning his first novel into a film.”

Kyle gave me a quick glance and left my offered handshake hanging like a lonely swing in a crowded playground. I felt like pushing the ignorant bastard backwards down the stairs but kept my cool for the sake of Jenny. She didn’t seem to notice his rudeness as she cocked her head, listening to his ridiculous diatribe on the state of the movie industry.

I made a point of introducing myself to his date but her handshake was weak and her voice plummy and lifeless. She obviously wasn’t interested in engaging in a conversation and looked around, bored as she lit a cigarette stuck in the end of a gold holder. I’d had enough and whispered to Jenny that I was going over to get Arnie’s autograph.

She looked sufficiently worried, excusing herself and kissing Kyle on the cheek before chasing after me down the stairs.

“Russ, slow down,” she was saying. “You can’t go round asking for autographs here.”

“What a wanker,” I said as she caught up to me.

She laughed. “It’s so funny you English say that.”

I wasn’t ready to laugh along. “How can you be so nice to someone so false? If I hadn’t have been with you I’d have had a right go at that ignorant twat.”

We got to the bottom of the stairs and she lowered her voice, looking round to make sure no one was listening.

“Calm down Russ. He’s not the only one like that. I just get on with it because it’s my job and it doesn’t pay to make enemies. I don’t like the guy anymore than you but I have to be professional.”

“There’s being professional Jenny and then there’s ignoring the fact that someone has been rude to your corporations guest. I can see now that that’s all I am to you. I’m no different to any of the others.” I felt ridiculous as the words escaped my mouth. I was acting like a spoiled child but I found it difficult to hide my anger.

“Hey, that’s not fair…” I didn’t hear the rest as I headed off towards the pool, Jenny’s voice fading into the distance as I pushed my way through the throngs, wondering if I should just take myself back off to the hotel room. As I got outside, I turned and could see Jenny marching after me, her face red and full of anger. As I glanced back to look for a quiet spot to get this over with in, I saw Arnold Schwarzzneger coming towards me.

He was smiling and nodding at people as he went on his way, getting underplayed looks in return from everyone trying to stay cool. I looked back round as I went straight for him, just catching the look of horror on Jenny’s face. I held my hand up to give Arnie a high five and was relieved and surprised when he happily returned the greeting, smacking my hand with his own enormous palm.

“What’s up man,” he said in his distinctive voice as he carried on past me. I suddenly felt a lot better.

I waited for Jenny to catch up, her flushed face returning to a more normal colour as I grinned at her.

“I just gave Arnie a high five,” I whispered to her.

“You big kid,” she said aiming a punch to my arm.

“Sorry,” I offered.

“Me too. You’re right. I shouldn’t have ignored that. He was rude.”

“Okay, let’s forget it then.”

The next hour we spent pleasantly drinking, eating and mingling with Jenny’s peers, movie producers and more pleasant and recognisable actors than Kyle bloody Lovenz. The hour passed too quickly, the only downer being that for all my furtive glancing around the crowds of people, I hadn’t seen Shannen Doherty. I moaned audibly as Kyle appeared from nowhere and gave Jenny a playful slap across the bum.

“Fancy a dip Jen,” he said grinning. There was no one in the pool and the thought flashed through my head to make sure he was the one doing the first swim of the night – fully clothed.

“Not tonight Kyle,” she smiled back politely, looking at me uncomfortably as I was shaking my head.

“Well, we never finished our conversation darling so I bought you some more champers over.” His flushed face and slurred words made it obvious that he’d already had more than enough. “Why don’t you get Rob here to go fetch us some nibbles?”

Jenny put her hand on my clenched fist before I had time to use it. “His name is Russ Kyle, and I’m sure you’re capable of getting your own food if you’re hungry.”

He wasn’t even listening. His eyes were focused on something behind us, lighting up excitedly. Jenny and I turned round at the same time to see a smiling Shannen Doherty walking right towards us. I couldn’t believe it. I was happy and sad all at the same time. Why did she have to know this idiot?

“Shannen baby!” he gushed as she got to within three feet of us.

Her reply was surprising and sent a warm fuzzy feeling reverberating round my body. “Do I know you?” she said cuttingly.

“Err, you’ve probably seen me on TV?” he tried weakly. “Kyle Lovenz.”

She shook her head at him and then turned to me. “You’re Russ Harrison right?”

I tried not to appear too shocked. “Yes,” I managed. “Shannen baby right?” I added quickly taking her hand and shaking it firmly.

She laughed, a laugh that was familiar yet surreal. I looked at Jenny smelling something fishy but she just shrugged her shoulders and gave me a puzzled look indicating that she had nothing to do with it.

“I just wanted to come over and say how much I enjoyed your book. I hear UIP have picked it up. Best thing they’ll have done in ages if they get it right.”

“Thanks. Thanks a lot. Sorry I didn’t get your surname.”

“Dohert…” she saw the grin on my face and laughed again. This was unbelievable. Shannen Doherty knew who I was and I’d made her laugh. Twice. Don’t blow it I kept telling myself.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Kyle chipped in. “It’ll be interesting to see the finished product. It was a great book.”

I couldn’t believe the nerve of the guy. “Who was your favourite character and who would you have play them then?” asked Jenny looking at Kyle.

“Err, well, the leading lady, forget her name but I think Shannen here would do a great job.”

“Sarah Sheridan? You think I’d make a good Sarah Sheridan?” asked Shannen.

Kyle looked worried now. “Well, err, maybe you’d be better as the other one.”

“Which other one?” she asked.

“Well, no, I’ll stick with my first assessment.”

I just stood back, chuckling to myself. Maybe there was a god after all.

Jenny either decided to take pity on him or get him away from us to leave Shannen and I alone. “Come on Kyle, let’s go and look for those nibbles you were talking about.” He didn’t argue, saying nothing as he followed Jenny back into the main room, still oblivious to the fact that Sarah Sheridan was the fifty six year old mother of the kidnapper.

“What a jerk!” laughed Shannen. “Not a friend of yours is he?” she added.

“No. No way. He was a jerk!”

We both laughed and then nervously sipped at our champagne. My mind was racing. Don’t blow it; just don’t blow it, say something, anything. We started speaking in unison, laughing again as Shannen twisted cutely on her heels.

“No go on, you first.” She said coyly.

“Do you read much?” The words sounded lame coming out of my mouth and I thought I may have well said ‘Do you come here often?’

“Sure. Crime stuff and thrillers mainly. You know, James Patterson, Jeffery Deaver, James Lee Burke and another British writer I like is Ian Rankin.”

“That’s a quality ensemble, although personally, I think Burke is over rated.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, not my cup of tea.” She had a surprised look on her face and I thought I better change the subject before she took offence at me questioning her taste. “So what were you going to say?”

She didn’t have time to answer as two giggling blondes passed us wearing sleek cocktail dresses. “Hi Shando,” they said unison, not stopping to chat. She raised her eyes before focusing her attention back to me.

“I just wondered who you were with tonight. Is your wife here?”

“No, she had important meetings to take care of back home. She was hoping to come out and join me this week but the meetings didn’t go so well and so she’s stuck back in England I’m afraid.”

“That’s too bad. She’s very beautiful.”

“You mind if I ask how you know so much about me?” I said trying to keep it light and not appear too taken aback.

“Your website,” she replied before taking another sip of her champagne, looking up to gauge my reaction. “When I get into things, I really get into them. There wasn’t much info in the book about you and I wanted to know more.”

“Wow. I’m flattered.” I was also pretty sure I was blushing. I wanted to give her some gushing praise back but I thought I would have sounded like every other fan she runs into on a daily basis and was left thinking of something to follow up with. I came out with “You look stunning tonight.”

“Only tonight?” she joked.

“Well I’m not sure how you shape up at seven in the morning after a rough nights sleep.”

“Looking to find out?” She was twisting on her toes again, her head titled slightly. I decided I better pinch myself at that point. It hurt, I wasn’t dreaming. Shannen Doherty was actually flirting with me.

“Maybe,” I said feeling stupid and sheepish. Just then my phone rang. I forgot I’d even got it with me. I was tempted not to answer but only UIP, Jenny and Susan had my number. I cursed my luck and excused myself from Shannen, half turning away. I was relieved when it didn’t look like she was going anywhere and said a curt “Hello” into the mouthpiece.

“It’s me!” said my wife’s excited voice at the other end of the phone.

“Susan,” I said turning my back further on Shannen and whispering loudly into the phone. “What’s up?”

“We signed the deal yesterday Russ.” Her voice was full of excitement. “Gordon’s very happy with me. So much so in fact that he gave me a few days off.”

“That’s great…”

“Not only that, but I’m here!”

“Here? Here where?”

“LA! I just got in! There’s been a delay with the bags but I should be out of here in an hour! Where shall I tell the taxi to take me?”

“I’m staying in the Bel Air.” I glanced at my watch. “I’m at some big party but I could be there to meet you at eleven.”

“Whenever honey. You enjoy yourself. Just remember what’s going to be waiting for you when you get back.” She whispered the next bit. “I got some new lingerie at the airport in Manchester.”

I wanted to tell her I was talking with Shannen Doherty but I thought Shannen might hear and then I’d have blown my cool.

“Okay Susan. I love you. See you soon.” I put the phone back in my pocket and turned back to face Shannen. She was still stood there, her smile radiating amongst the poolside clique.

“Your wife?”

“Yeah, sorry about that. She’s just landed at LAX. I’m not sure which I’m most surprised and happy about. Meeting you or hearing that my wife’s in town.”

“That’s nice. Most guys I meet wouldn’t give a fuck about their wives. Not that I’m in the habit of meeting up with married men.”

I laughed. “Thanks. You want some more champagne?”

“Thanks, but I can’t. I’m driving and I was actually thinking of heading off soon.”

“That’s too bad. It was great meeting you. I mean really great. You’re even more beautiful in real life.” So much for the cool persona.

It was her turn to blush and she took a deep breath before speaking. “I don’t suppose you fancy coming back with me do you? We could pick your wife up on the way and hang out at my place for the evening. I get quite lonely out there sometimes.” I paused not quite sure what to say. I was thinking of Susan, of Jenny and of Shannen. “I have a nice room made up the two of you could use if that’s what you’re worried about,” she added hopefully.

“Sure, why not. Yes, yes. Great. Thanks. I better call Susan and tell her not to get a cab.”

“Okay. I’ll just go find my friends and tell them I’m leaving. I’ll meet you by the statue of the guy in the toga just inside the entrance door in ten.” She flashed me that cute smile of hers, all cheekbones and teeth, and turned on her heels.

I looked around for Jenny and finally found her talking with two older guys. I explained the situation and told her I’d call her in the morning. Like me, she didn’t quite know what to make of it all but told me to have a good time and to put my sunglasses on in case there were any paparazzi knocking about. She was joking but it was something I hadn’t even though about.

Shannen was waiting for me when I got to the statue and I followed her. She led us a different way out of the mansion, to a courtyard at the side housing thirty or forty expensive cars, all gleaming under the stars.

Shannen clicked open the doors to a large pick-up truck using her key fob and I almost made a fool of myself by walking round to get into the drivers side. She probably thought I wanted to sit on her knee. She wouldn’t have been wrong.

It took us about twenty minutes to get to the airport and it was a journey I’ll never forget. We never stopped talking, getting on as if we’d known each other all our lives. She was so relaxed and normal. It was also flattering that she was interested in my work and asked me the usual questions as we sped along the highway: Where did I get the ideas from, how long did it take me to write, what had I got planned next, did I have everything worked out before I started writing or just a basic idea, etc. etc.

She waited in the car while I went to look for Susan. It was a good twenty minutes before I saw her and I kept worrying that Shannen might come to her senses and drive off. I’m not sure who was most excited as Susan and I ran towards each other. We embraced tightly, feeling each others warmth, smelling each others skin, kissing, smiling. It was fantastic to see her.

I took Susan’s hand and lifted her suitcase, hurrying out of the airport, unable to contain my excitement. I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when she saw who was playing chauffeur for the night. I wasn’t disappointed. She did a cartoon double take as Shannen climbed down to introduce herself grinning mischievously.

I was a little worried the two of them might not get on or that Susan wouldn’t want to go back to Shannen’s, but she seemed genuinely thrilled at the idea. Although she was a big fan of Charmed, she wasn’t big on celebrity. Certainly not a reader of Hello and the like and not star struck in anyway. I think that helped and it was more like we were travelling with an old friend, catching up on what we’d all been up to and gossiping about the world in general. Amazing.

Just after Shannen said we were five minutes away from her place, I looked out of the window and there sat nonchalantly at the side of the road was the beggar that I’d given the five dollars to earlier that morning. I squinted to make sure I wasn’t seeing things and he raised his drink to me as we drove past, almost as if he knew I’d be passing. The drink looked suspiciously like Guinness and he had a mysterious glint in his eye as he winked at me. I didn’t say anything to Susan or Shannen.

Shannen lived in Ventura County, and we wound our way up her long dusty drive past stables, horses and open fields. I guess it was what you’d call a ranch. It certainly wasn’t the type of place I expected her to have. I watched her climb down from the cab and even though her black evening dress and choker with centre piece diamond matched the night sky and twinkling stars, she looked out of place with the remote surroundings in her designer outfit.

I grabbed Susan’s suitcase and followed behind the two of them. It sounded like they were talking food, Mexican to be precise. I felt a pang of hunger and could have done with a plate full of fajitas and rice. The thought of food wasn’t in my head long as I stopped behind the two most perfect women I’d ever seen stood side by side. My mind started wandering towards sex. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t even thought about that when I’d agreed to stay over. How funny would it feel doing it in Shannen Doherty’s house with her there in another room? I doubted I’d be able to stop thinking about her either but I wasn’t about to make that public.

She pushed open her front door and two giant dogs came bounding towards us, barking wildly, tails wagging ten to the dozen.

“Max! Luca!” she called as the dogs made to jump all over her. She must have realised at the last minute what she was wearing as she palmed them off and rubbed their heads while making sure they couldn’t jump up.

“They’re gorgeous,” said Susan. “What are they?”

“Bull Mastiffs. This is Max and this is Luca. Don’t look so worried Russ, they won’t bite.” I was stood well out of the way as the girls rained affection on the two dogs. “I’ll let them out the back,” she said laughing, looking up at me still stood just inside the door. “They could do with some air.”

Once they were safely out of the way, we followed Shannen through to a room where she told us to make ourselves comfortable. It was immaculately presented and contained two giant sofas, the biggest TV screen I’d seen outside of a cinema and a very expensive looking hi-fi. There were small family pictures dotted around the room and a nice photo of Shannen with Holy Marie Coombs, which Susan picked up and looked at.

“You two good friends?” she asked.

“Are you kidding? She’s like my best friend. She was there tonight Russ, I’m surprised you didn’t see her. What can I get you two to drink?”

“What are you having?” Susan asked her.

“I fancy a glass of wine I think.”

“May as well crack a bottle open for the three of us then; that okay with you Russ?”

“Sure.”

“Great,” said Shannen. “Red or white?”

“Oooh, red please,” said Susan.

“Put some music on will you Russ?” said Shannen as she was leaving the room. “The CD’s are in the cupboard under the hi-fi.

She had quite a collection, mainly rock stuff, classics from yesteryear (Beatles, Stones, Beach Boys, Bowie, Zeplin and the like) and quite a few bands I’d never even heard of. I plumped for the soundtrack from my favourite movie – Swingers. It seemed quite apt in more ways than one I thought, secretly smiling to myself as Dean Martin’s smooth voice started up out of the sizeable speakers.

“You know what Russ?” asked Shannen as she reappeared with a bottle of wine, three glasses and an opener. “You’re so fucking money and you don’t even know it!”

“Vegas baby, Vegas!” I replied as Susan groaned on the sofa beside me.

“You not a fan?” Shannen asked Susan.

“Not really,” said Susan looking at me. “Don’t get me wrong. It’s an okay film but he just goes on about it all the time and we even have it as our bloody screen-saver on the PC at home. I have to say I prefer the soundtrack.”

“You ever met Favereau or Vaughn?” I asked Shannen.

“No unfortunately. They’ve not exactly set the silver screen on fire since though have they? You seen Made? ”

“Yeah.”

“What did you make of it?”

“Rubbish to be honest.”

“Yeah me too.”

The next two hours went on like that: Susan and I on one sofa, and Shannen on the other facing us. Shannen’s phone rang a couple of times but she just let the machine pick it up. We listened to more CD’s and then Shannen fetched her guitar and we took it in turn to play songs to each other, Susan joining in with the singing.

I don’t think I ever stopped being amazed that night. I kept looking round still thinking I was having the world’s greatest dream. Surely it couldn’t get any better?

We were well loosened up, on the way to being drunk even, when Shannen excused herself to visit the bathroom.

“How cool is she?” I asked Susan.

“Alright calm down mister ‘I’m in love with Shannen’.”

“As if!” I retorted.

“Ooo Shannen you play the guitar so well. Ooo Shannen you have great music taste. Ooo Shannen, I can’t believe we like the same films and books. Ooo…” She stopped as I dived on her, starting a wrestling match on the sofa until I finally had her giggling and pinned down.

“Admit you love her too or I’ll strip you naked.”

“Nuh-uh,” she said shaking her head.

We wrestled some more until she wriggled free and then we both collapsed back on the sofa as we heard the sound of the toilet flushing above us. We were breathing heavily, interspersed with laughter.

“I’ll admit this much though Russ. If I was going to have my first girl on girl fun, she wouldn’t be a bad choice, especially as you couldn’t manage to meet up with Sarah Michelle Gellar you useless git.”

“Useless git? Thanks for that. Well unlucky anyway, ‘cos I’d just like to remind you that I’m actually allowed to shag her.” I got the list out of my wallet. “Here look, it’s signed by my wife and everything.” I waved it in front of her face as frantically tried to grab it off me.

“Gimme that. I can’t believe you still have it you saddo.”

Neither of us had heard Shannen come back into the room. “What’s he got?” she asked laughing along.

I’d frozen in horror and turned to face her when she spoke and quick as a flash, Susan whipped the list out of my hands and to my disbelief said: “a list and you’re on it!”

“What sort of list?” Shannen asked looking curious now.

“It’s nothing,” I said trying to grab it back but the girls weren’t having any of it.

Shannen had it safely in her hands and was stood out of reach. She read from the card. “Famous women I’m allowed to make love to. Make love to huh?” she teased. “Susan Sarandon, Kylie Minogue, Jennifer Aniston, Rachel Hunter, Nicole Kidman. ” She flipped the card over and carried on. “Liv Tyler, Angelina Jolie, Shannen Doherty, Heather Graham, Jamie Lee Curtis. I hereby agree that my husband, Mister Russell Harrison may sleep with any of these women, signed Susan Harrison. You know I’m kind of insulted Russ. Only number eight on the list?”

“It was just a bit of fun. You’re not actually in any particular order. If it makes you feel any better, you’d be number two on Susan’s list, right behind Sarah Michelle Gellar.”

“Really?” said Shannen, her eyes opening wide. I was almost sure she was suppressing a smile. “Now that is flattering. Sarah’s a very good friend of mine. I don’t mind coming in number two to her but some of these others Russ. I don’t know.” She was going to milk this for all it was worth. I just sat shaking my head and raised my hands in the air, too embarrassed to say anything else. “Still, I suppose making your top ten out of all the women in the world isn’t too bad. Wanna dance?”

She’d put on some Frank Sinatra and I looked across at Susan for approval. She nodded that it was okay and so I said “Sure,” as coolly as I could do.

“Not you silly,” she replied. “Susan.”

My wife gave a little look of surprise before simply getting off the sofa and walking over to Shannen, swaying her hips in time with the music. My wife was about three inches taller than Shannen and put her arms round her waist. Shannen looked up into my wife’s eyes and enclosed her own arms around the back of her neck. They were pretty close, their breasts touching, their heads a matter of inches apart.

The teasing was a bit too much for me and I muttered that I was off to the loo. I sat up there a good five minutes wondering what to make of it all. A bit of fun I decided. They were teasing me and I probably deserved it. The sight of the two of them dancing so close had served to remind me that it was over a week since Susan and I had made love. I looked at my watch. Twelve thirty am. Another half hour and then time for bed I decided. Perfect way to end the perfect evening.

I made my way back downstairs and into the room. Had the lights been dimmed? Shannen and Susan were still dancing, dragging it out for all it was worth but as they slowly, slowly turned round the dance had become more than a dance. They were kissing, mouths open, eyes closed, only their tongues doing the dancing. I didn’t know what to do. Should I leave the room? Cough? Stand and watch? I thought it’d be rude to miss the show still thinking it was for my benefit, so I stayed rooted to the spot, the bulge in my trousers growing by the second, straining to escape.

As the song finished they prized their lips apart and gave each other a final peck before both turning to face me. They must have known I was there all the time. Shannen was pouting like a model, Susan looked like a cat that just got the cream.

“Your wife is a hell of kisser Russ. You’re a lucky guy.”

“Right now,” I replied. “I’d say I was about the luckiest guy in the world.”

“Care to keep your streak going?” asked Shannen. “Susan and I decided it was time for bed. You wanna join us?”

I couldn’t help but swallow deeply and I felt my Adam’s apple rise and fall. Were they just fucking with my head again, playing out the ultimate tease? Here it came, Susan put a finger to her chin as if she was thinking.

“Do you think we should let him Shando?” Shando? Exactly how long had I been upstairs on the toilet? “I’m not sure I want to share you.” She looked at Shannen and placed her right hand on Shannen’s ass, her left hand rubbing her own pussy through the material of her short skirt.

This was too unreal for words but I wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip me by. In my wildest fantasies I would do anything to turn this in my favour. I decided I needed to stand up and be counted, act like a true man and not resort to grovelling and begging. Not just yet anyway.

“Shannen, I’d love to join the two of you. Let’s go.”

The look on Shannen’s face told me it wasn’t going to be that easy. She was doing the cute toe twisty thing again while my wife’s hand continued to explore her beautiful derriere. “Maybe your wife has a point Russ. We were doing just fine without you.” They both giggled, enjoying themselves.

“I could see that much but I guarantee you’ll both have an even better time with me added to the equation.”

“Oh you do do you?” said Susan sarcastically. This was the woman who earlier in the evening couldn’t wait to show me her new lingerie.

“Yes. Of course. I think you’re forgetting that I have something the two of you don’t.”

“Now that’s not strictly true,” said Shannen.

“How do you work that out?”

“Well I have Bob upstairs waiting for me whenever I need him,” she replied.

“Bob?” I asked in unison with Susan.

“Yeah, you know, my battery operated boyfriend. Bob! He has a few brothers too but they don’t all hum.”

“Not exactly the same though is it. To quote U2, there ain’t nothing better than the real thing.” I said singing it to the melody of the song.

“Well, I’m still not convinced Shannen. What do you think? It’s your call,” said Susan smugly. She was loving every minute of this.

Shannen gave me that look again. The look I couldn’t read. Was now the time to do the begging?

“If he passes the test he’s in.” The test? Sounded like she’d set this test a few times before. “If it’s okay with you Susan, I’d like see how skilful he is with his tongue.” She looked back at me. “I want you to lick my cunt Russ.”

It was a bit of a shock to hear not only the word cunt come out of Shannen Doherty’s mouth, but to have her look me in the eyes while telling me she wanted me to use my tongue on it, made it about my favourite sentence in the whole world ever. It sounded so dirty and sexy, my cock stiffening further within the confines of my underwear and trousers.

“Sure,” said Susan nonchalantly.

I looked at Susan who was being lead to the sofa by Shannen and wondered what she was thinking. Engaging in sex games with another female wasn’t exactly normal practice for either of us. We’d talked about swinging in the past but that’s all it was. Talk. Hell, as far as I was aware, Susan hadn’t even kissed another woman until a few minutes ago. She wasn’t averse to complimenting women; looks, figures, breasts, bums etc., but I never seriously thought I’d ever witness her in a passionate embrace with one. Then there was the jealousy thing…

“Hey Russ are you gonna get down on your knees and pleasure me sometime this century or shall we just forget about you?” Shannen sounded like she was actually getting cross. I snapped out of it and looked at her sat back on the sofa, knickers round her ankles; dress pulled up around her waist and decided she had every right to be angry. What a sight. I was down on my knees in a shot, skidding across the laminated flooring towards her like a Brazilian celebrating the winning goal in the World Cup final.

I looked up at her face. She was smiling with wild anticipation, Susan to the side of her lowering the straps on her dress, ready to free her breasts. She shuddered slightly as my fingers made contact with her bare skin for the first time. I started with a hand on either thigh, just above her knees, being careful to take a firm grip so as not to tickle her. Her skin was incredibly smooth and cool to the touch but as my hands glided slowly and teasingly up those milky thighs, things began to get a little hotter. It was as if my hands were on some incredible journey towards a blazing furnace.

“Oh god,” said Shannen, involuntary bucking. I was at the tops of her thighs now but the reaction wasn’t extracted by me. Susan had her right hand groping Shannen’s left breast, tweaking and then pinching her swollen burgundy nipple while her tongue and teeth playfully flicked and nibbled at her other one. It was going to be difficult to concentrate on the task at hand and I wished I had as few clothes on as Shannen.

The area around her pussy lips was shaved and looked as smooth as the skin on her legs. She had a mound of dark thick hair at the top of her opening and I ran my left hand through it as the middle finger of my right hand traced a line from the bottom to the top of her labia. She moaned slightly as I used my left hand to roam randomly around her exposed flesh while my finger continued to work up and down her slit. Her lips began to part, becoming slicker and swollen under my caress.

“Oooh, stick it in Russ. Finger my cunt.” I could definitely get used to the sound of her voice telling me what to do.

I gripped her knee tightly with my left hand and slowly slid my finger up her slippery passage until it was in up to the knuckle. I twisted it round slowly, teasing the inside walls of her vagina. I hooked my finger round searching for her g-spot and the contraction of her muscles and a loud moan told me I’d found it. I kept the pressure on it for a few seconds until I felt her body relax a little and then continued stroking.

“Oh, that feels nice you two. Yes, oh god yes.” Susan was still busy working away on her tits, getting rougher by the second as her confidence grew along with Shannen’s increasing moaning and groaning.

I thought about inserting a second finger but she’d requested for me to use my tongue and so I slowly removed my finger, a muffled sigh of pleasure escaping Shannen’s crimson lips and used the flat of my tongue to work up and down her outer labia, gently increasing the rhythm until her hips started working with me, needy and hungry for more. I tentatively circled her clit as her breathing became shallower and more desperate. I slipped my finger back between her lips as I lightly flicked over her clitoris for the first time. Another moan, longer and deeper. I added a second finger as I continued to pleasure her most precious spot with my tongue.

Her thrusts towards me were becoming increasingly more powerful, willing me to insert more pressure with my tongue and meet her movements with my fingers, busily thrusting in and out of her heat.

I stopped using my tongue for a second to speak. “So have I passed the test then?” I just couldn’t help it but a second later wished I’d have just carried on and kept my smug thoughts to myself.

“Oh god! For fucks sake don’t stop now, I’m nearly there!” she screamed in exasperation. “Get back down there and finish the job now other wise it’ll be a spectacular fail.” My tongue had already reconnected with her as the final few angry words spilled out of her mouth. No doubt Susan was grinning all over her face but I wasn’t about to look up to find out. I used every little trick I knew to take her over the edge. My fingers furiously pumped in and out of her pussy and I resumed licking and flicking her tumescent clit before using my lips to gently suck at the erect little bud.

“Jesus Christ almighty. My, oh, yes, go on, go on, Ooooohhhhh!” She didn’t hold back the volume as she spectacularly came all over my fingers, her body quivering, spent.

Nothing was said as Susan and I peeled ourselves from her, sticky and tingling from the experience. Shannen had her head back, eyes resting, breathing slowly returning to normal, her face and chest flushed almost to the colour of her lips. Her raven hair was as dishevelled as I’d ever seen it but she looked as sexy as hell. Her eyes came back to life as she looked at us both, sparkling like emeralds as they caught the light.

“Wow. That was incredible. Erotic, sinful,” she paused choosing her next words carefully. “Mind-blowing. Will you fuck your wife for me now Russ. I’d like to see the two of you make up for lost time while I do a little recovery here. Come on let’s go upstairs.” The words were spoken as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Come on lets go upstairs.

Upstairs was another world. Whereas the ground floor pandered to its natural wood exterior and housed sympathetic furnishings, the rooms on the first floor were luxuriously modern and creative. Stylish ornamental pieces sparsely decorated the hallway and soft lighting led us into a room that would have comfortably housed four double beds. As it was, there was just the one large divan resting against the back wall. The black shiny sheets matched the metal-framed headboard. The pillows were deep red; a smaller centre one, heart shaped and placed in front of the others.

“You’ll have to excuse the untidiness,” she said frantically throwing clothes in the direction of her laundry basket.

Susan and I were too busy looking round in awe at the sheer size and lavishness of it to notice. Shannen lit several scented candles which were placed around the room and switched off the sleek light in the central light. Susan said she needed the loo and Shannen opened the door to the on suite bathroom for her. While she was gone I asked Shannen if she had anything I could use to tie up Susan with. She opened the last of a full wall length of doors, exposing a walk in closet of surprising depth. Behind the door she opened were displayed an inordinate amount of shoes; rows upon rows, enough to start a small shop even.

“A pair for every day of the year huh?” I said jokingly.

“There’s more actually,” she said with a shrug of the shoulders.

She reached up to the top shelf and pulled down a purple shoebox.

“These should do just fine,” she said pulling out a pair of leather handcuffs. “I’ve go some leg straps as well somewhere, Oh and here’s a blindfold. Does she like that?”

“Loves it.”

The bathroom door opened and Shannen put down the box and smiled at Susan as she re-entered the room. She looked stunning. She’d changed into what I guessed was the underwear she’d told me about. Her bra was well shaped and accentuated and lifted her breasts. Her thong was minimal and sheer and frilly-topped stockings, held up by a suspender belt, encased her long legs. The black lingerie contrasted with her pale smooth skin and she looked like she’d just walked onto the set of a Play Boy shoot. Strappy heels completed her sexy outfit and she slowly made her way to the bed and elegantly climbed on and posed for her audience.

My senses were starting to go into orbit; the dreamy vision before me, the gentle purring approval from Shannen lustfully gazing at my wife, the sensuous scent of the candles and the taste of Shannen, still very much evident on my tongue. I hurriedly removed my shirt and trousers and then taking a deep breath and looking over at Shannen, took off my boxers. I was thankful that the room was warm, my cock semi-erect and leading the way to the bed. Shannen took the queue and removed her black dress which she’d pulled back on before coming upstairs. She had no underwear on and didn’t look as awkward as I felt in my nakedness. She made herself comfortable in a chair at the base of the bed and threw me the cuffs, Susan’s eyes widening with excitement as she saw what it was I’d caught.

There was inevitable silent surrender as Susan stretched her slender arms above her head to allow me to cuff each of her hands to the headboard behind. She lifted her hips up off the bed to allow me to pull down her thong. Her pussy lips glistened in the soft candlelight and a familiar intoxicating aroma told me that my wife was already highly aroused. I ran my hands up and down her body, enjoying the little quivers that my touches were giving her. I lingered over her breasts, still encased within her new bra. I tweaked her nipples through the thin fabric and she let out an uncontrollable moan of pleasure.

“This may help,” said Shannen throwing me the blindfold. Susan’s eyes opened just as I was about to put it on her and she quickly closed them again as the blindfold covered them and shuddered with anticipation. I removed her bra and waited a moment, sitting in silence at the side of her, taking in the scene laid out before me.

Susan was already wriggling a little, her body trying to predict where the first touch would come from. I think it’s forecast was a little off target as I carefully leaned over her face and touched the head of my swollen penis to her lips, a sudden shocked exhale of breath from Susan feeling cool upon my glands.

She flicked out with her tongue and opened her mouth wider as I straddled over her face and began to fuck her mouth with shallow thrusts, muffled sounds coming from deep below where my cock was plunging. I was suddenly aware of Shannen stood to my right. She’d quietly got up out of her chair to come and get a better view. I watched the slow deliberate strokes of her fingers below the trimmed hair of her bush, her eyes feasted on my cock sliding in and out of Susan’s gleaming lips. I slowed my own pace to match Shannen’s and our eyes locked dancing with desire in the wavering candlelight.

I began to feel the familiar building of orgasm, deep within, my extended abstention from sexual activity aiding the speed of a rapidly approaching climax. I hastily pulled out of my Susan’s mouth with a plopping sound and resumed teasing and tantalising her body with sudden touches and sensual strokes as I pondered the growing quandary within my head. How was I going to stop myself from coming with Susan so that I could fuck Shannen? I desperately wanted to cum inside her and no longer trusted my powers of recovery to be able to do it come twice within an hour or so, Shannen Doherty or no Shannen Doherty. The only way was to turn Susan on so much that a couple of thrusts deep into her soaking sex would send her into an orgasmic heaven.

As if reading my mind, Shannen picked up the foot restraints and quickly tied Susan’s legs to the corner posts of the bed against a token futile squirming resistance. With her legs spread wider, her vaginal lips involuntarily opened a little more and Shannen looked on hungrily at Susan’s exposed labia. I started teasing Susan by concentrating my hands on her inner thighs and circling her outer lips as I watched Shannen take hold of her feet and suck noisily on each of her toes. I couldn’t help wishing that it was my cock being devoured by those gorgeous lips as Susan wriggled beneath me.

When Shannen had finished on her feet she joined me on the bed at the other side of Susan and indicated that she would focus on the top half of her body as I continued to pleasure my wife’s pussy, my fore and middle fingers already twisting in and out of the increasing wetness. Shannen started by placing her hands on Susan’s cheeks and leaning in for a gentle kiss, which soon became more intense and free. When Shannen broke off and used both palms to encircle Susan’s plump breasts, I re-adjusted my position and went to work on my wife’s sex with my tongue in much the same way as I’d pleasured Shannen earlier, their copious juices mixing on my eager tongue.

Susan’s breathing was quickening, her moaning becoming more audible, her thrashing more desperate. She was ready.

“Get ready Susan,” I announced. “My cock is rigid and ready. Are you prepared for my long hard prick Susan? Are you ready to feel me pounding in and out of you, thrusting back and forth in your soaking pussy?” She loved it when I talked dirty to her and was vigorously nodding her head.

“Oh yes, I need it now Russ. Now! Fuck me honey, fuck me now.”

Shannen was still teasing Susan’s breasts and nipples but I wanted her to be more involved. “Shannen, sit on Susan’s face and let her taste your wonderful pussy while I fuck her. I wanna see my wife have her first taste of female sex.”

Shannen didn’t speak as she carried out my instructions, squatting over Susan’s mouth, facing me. I watched Susan tentatively snake out her tongue and feel her way around Shannen’s labia, finally settling into a rhythm, up and down the centre of her slit, flicking at her clit as she reached the top. Shannen snapped her head back and gently rocked on her heels in time with my wife’s tonguing.

I didn’t take my eyes of the pair of them as I positioned myself missionary style in front of Susan’s needy sex. I slowly pushed forward against her opening and the resistance was minimal. I teasingly pressed forward until my cock was buried deep within the heat below.

Susan immediately started to move her hips against my cock, desperately needing to come. I purposely inched my way up her body with my cock still inside her so that the base of my penis and my pelvic bone would be in direct contact with her clitoris as I moved in and out of her. It was a position that yielded the desired heightened pleasure for my wife while not being the most stimulating for myself. At the same time, her movements up and down Shannen’s pussy were becoming more fervent and passionate.

“Play with her tits Shannen. Pinch her nipples, pull on them, twist them, that’s it. She loves it rough when she’s this turned on don’t you?”

“Yes, oh yes,” she mumbled out from underneath Shannen.

Between us we brought Susan to a shuddering climax in a matter of seconds, shaking and quivering with orgasmic delight, her muffled cries lost in the depths of Shannen’s cunt.

I lay still in her, not daring to move again in fear of coming myself as my cock throbbed inside of her. Shannen raised herself from above Susan and sat beside her, stroking her hair and planting soft kisses on her forehead and cheeks as my wife’s breathing slowly returned to normal and her body lay still, recovering from her blissful utopia.

I looked at Shannen and she was mouthing something to me. She had to do it a second time before I realised what it was. She was mouthing I want your cock. Now. I wanted her to say the words out loud and I had a feeling that she was worried what Susan would think.

“Can someone please take my blind fold off? I want to watch the two of you fuck each others brains out,” stated Susan as if witnessing your husband screwing another woman was a normal event.

My cock twitched again and a smile broke at the corner of Shannen’s mouth as she untied the blindfold from Susan. Shannen unlocked the cuffs to her hands and I undid the restraints that were binding her feet to the bed. Shannen and I looked at one another across the bed, Susan between us, flushed and glistening looking from one to the other. I felt a little awkward. I suppose it was only natural after having a monogamous relationship with my wife ever since we’d been together. I wasn’t sure whether fucking Shannen was going to be easier or harder with Susan watching but I was about to find out.

Shannen was still naked and walked back over to her shoe store, disappearing behind the door. I wondered what she’d come out with this time.

“You alright?” I asked Susan.

“God yeah,” she replied. “That was, well, as near as damn it perfect. I see you’re still enjoying yourself.” She pointed at my erect cock, still slick from her juices. “What’s it like knowing that one of your biggest fantasies is about to come true?”

“A little scary but extremely fucking exciting at the same time,” I whispered. It was true. Even though we’d both been comfortable in her company for the last few hours it was the ‘new partner’ feelings multiplied by ten just because of who she was. Apart from the loyal fans, authors are pretty much anonymous to the world in general where as Shannen, well, she’s a household name gracing the covers of the worlds most glamorous magazines and appearing on our TV screens on a very regular basis. I was amazed at how accepting and trusting she’d been towards the pair of us. Hell, if any of what had gone on tonight made the press, well, I’d sell a few more books, that is for sure!

The creak of the wardrobe door told us Shannen was returning and we both turned to look.

“I thought I’d make a bit of an effort. I love dressing up, it really cranks up my excitement levels. I’ve a feeling they’re about to reach new heights.” She made no secret of the fact that she was lustfully eyeing my throbbing prick as she walked towards me, looking every inch a dominating man-eater. “I can’t wait to have your cock inside me Russ.” Her voice had turned husky, breathy and she was speaking slowly in a loud whisper. “What about you Russ? Are you ready to fuck Shannen Doherty? Are you ready to feel your cock sliding in and out of here?” She licked her fingers and rubbed them up and down her sex, only feet from me now.

She was wearing knee high tight black leather boots with lacing up the front and the heels had given her an extra three or four inches in height. Her eye level was now at my chin rather than my chest. Her legs and pussy remained bare but she had put on a tight corset that pulled in her waist and pushed up her shapely breasts. She flicked her hair back as she stood in front of me and teasingly licked her lips as my cock twitched and throbbed between us. I resisted the urge to grab her and kiss her hard on the mouth, instead waiting for her to make the move, staring into her stunning green eyes, holding her gaze as her lips came slowly towards mine.



They brushed together softly and I closed my eyes waiting for Shannen to slowly open her mouth, for the kiss to become more intense, passionate and needy. I was to have to wait for that moment as Shannen’s lips left mine and gently, gloriously kissed their way over my chin, my neck, my chest, my stomach and then as she got to her knees, they paused at the tip of my cock as she brushed her hair back. I gasped in anticipation, my legs feeling as if they would give way at any moment. She swirled her tongue round the head, down the shaft and then back up again. I became aware of my wife sat on the edge of the bed, leaning forward, watching intently as Shannen continued to work her way expertly up and down my aching cock.

Her eyes locked with Susan’s and she spat onto my cock and began to pump her mouth backwards and forwards with more purpose and vigour. My head snapped back and I was gritting my teeth, trying for the life of me not to come but all the time thinking ‘shall I?’ Sensing that I was close to busting my load in her pretty mouth, she slowed down and released my throbbing dick with a loud plop. I chanced a glance down, my head light and dizzy. Shannen had a wicked smile on her face, obviously pleased with herself. My cock had never looked bigger, sporadically twitching, shiny from Shannen’s saliva and a tiny globule of pre cum dribbling out of the tip.

I put my hands on her shoulders to steady myself and she steadily rose from her crouched position, my hands now round the back of her neck, pulling her closer, my slick cock pushing up against her stomach, her breasts heaving against my chest. This time the kiss was everything I’d hoped for and more. I could taste myself as our tongues danced like the flickering candles in the dark, our hands holding each other tightly as the flames of our passion rose like a kite in the sky, our worlds colliding like the ocean against the rocks.

I needed her now. Had to have her and no words were spoken as I broke off from the kiss and lifted her into my arms, carrying her to the bed which Susan had vacated. Susan had pulled a bench seat out into the middle of the room. A vibrator was positioned below her and she was lowering herself down on to it, her eyes following us across the room. I heard the familiar hum of Susan’s new found toy cranking up as I lowered Shannen on to the bed. The horrible awkward thought of protection entered my head but before I could say anything Shannen spoke quietly into my ear. Her voice was husky, her hot breath sent shivers down my back.

“I’m on the pill, tested with a clean bill of health less than three months ago, no unprotected sex since. You?”

“Tested six months into our relationship, neither of us has had unprotected sex since apart from with each other,” I replied hurriedly.

She nodded, satisfied and crawled on to all fours; her eyes not leaving mine. “Fuck me then Russ. Come on baby, fuck me.”

I glanced quickly at Susan who nodded at me, moving herself up and down the hard toy shaft, her breasts bouncing, nipples hard. This was it, a fantasy realised, my excitement continuing to build, trying to calm myself, my body trembling slightly, hot, and my forehead perspiring. I positioned myself behind her on the bed as she stretched her arms forward, her back arched like a cat, her ass in the air, her pussy open and wet, inviting and enticing.

I placed one hand on her ass and used my other to guide my cock to the swollen lips of her sex. I didn’t need to push hard as my saliva coated cock sunk into the heat of her pussy, slowly disappearing from view, Shannen pushing back against me, moaning slowly, loudly. I paused as my cock was buried to the hilt and Shannen turned her head to look at Susan. She beckoned to her with her finger and Susan obeyed, smiling as she climbed off the vibrator and unsteadily making her way over to the bed but looking pleased that she was going to able to join in.

“Sit down and spread your legs Susan,” commanded Shannen. “I want to taste you while your husband fucks me.”

My wife didn’t need asking twice and got on the bed as instructed, laying on her back and using a pillow to prop herself up higher to give Shannen easy access to her desired target. I took the opportunity to hold myself steady, my cock still throbbing deep in Shannen’s cunt. I quickly unlaced her corset and it fell to the bed as Shannen was busying herself with her talented tongue and lips. Her boobs dropped free and I slid my hands along her back and around to caress her delectable tits. She pushed back again as I reached for her nipples and gave them a tug. I took her movement as my cue to get moving.

I went slowly at first, still all too aware that I was still on the brink of orgasm, using my muscle control to hold back, ensuring I didn’t come before Shannen had chance to enjoy the moment too. On my third or forth stroke of pulling almost entirely out of her before plunging unhurriedly back in, I thrust forward as hard as I could, banging into her ass and jolting her forward slightly, bringing surprised yelps from both Shannen and Susan.

“Oh god, that felt good Russ,” said Shannen taking a breather from Susan’s pussy. She craned her neck to look back at me. “I like it hard. Come on, fuck me harder stud.”

“I think this could get dangerous for me,” laughed Susan getting up from her position. “Maybe we could resume in a while Shannen. I’ll just help the two of you out in the meantime.”

I took my left hand from Shannen’s breast and gripped her hips. Susan slid underneath her and started flicking her dangling boobs with her tongue and fingers. My back stroke was slow and deliberate and I paused slightly before ramming into her again, grunting as my cock sank quickly, extracting guttural groans of pleasure from Shannen. I repeated the action five or six times before slowing to a steadier rhythm, the feeling of ecstasy building the whole time.

“Oh god, come on Russ,” she said breathily emphasising the o of on. “Stop teasing and give me everything you’ve got, I wanna feel you come in me.”

Susan edged out from underneath Shannen and walked behind me. Without a word of warning I felt her finger nudge against my bum hole.

“Oh shit,” I said knowing the immediate consequences a finger in my ass at this juncture would bring. “Hang on Shannen.”

There was no holding back now as I quickly started to pound in and out of her pussy, both of us grunting and moaning, moving against each other in an explosion of frenzied lust. After working her finger around on my ass hole, no doubt with a big grin on her face, she pushed against me, her finger instantly swallowed, disappearing into the depths of my bum, her hand following my thrusts back and forth as I continued pumping my cock powerfully inside Shannen.

I felt my balls tighten and the welcome build up of climax start within. The noises escaping my mouth were almost animal like, frantic and desperate, Shannen driving me on, moving her delicious ass back into me to meet my strokes and whispering, “fuck baby, yes, come on, give it me, give it me baby, yes, oh god, yes, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

My head felt like it was going to explode with bliss as the first jet of semen ejaculated from my cock deep inside Shannen’s pussy. My eyes were squeezed tightly shut, colours bursting before me, my body overcome with glorious pleasure, the powerful climax rippling through me until I slowed to a halt, my cock still twitching and dribbling within Shannen, our fluids flowing together.

“Oh wow,” said Shannen panting. “You two ever thought of moving out to LA?”

I collapsed on the bed behind her. “Don’t think I could cope with this too often,” I joked. “It’s got to be bad for the heart. Then there’s all that sunshine, sandy beaches, beautiful women, perfect surf. Nah, England forever I reckon.”

“Not forever!” exclaimed Susan aiming a pillow at me. “Honestly, sometimes.” She raised her eyes, slapped my bare ass and climbed on the bed beside me. “Think you can cope with more Shannen?” she asked innocently.

Shannen cheekbones were raised in that way they do when she smiles naturally, her gleaming smile radiating from the top of the bed. “Uh-huh,” she nodded.

“Oh goodie, you can finish what you started then while I taste the mingling juices of you and Russ.” She climbed on top of Shannen and shuffled her ass backwards so that her curly bush was just above Shannen’s mouth. I lay back in wonder, watching the pair of them bring each other to orgasm again, my cock recovering much quicker than I gave it credit for: its reward a double tongue bath once the girls had finished with each other. It was a fitting climax to the most amazing day of my life: the life of the luckiest guy in the world.

Epilogue

Shannen and I still keep in touch over the Internet every now and again. I still sit and think about that twinkle in her eye, the happiness on her face as we left her ranch the next day with her clutching a freshly signed copy of Cyber Trap.

The rest of my LA trip worked out perfectly. Susan and I enjoyed another seven days out there and after admitting she enjoyed the threesome more than she could have ever believed, Jenny soon made the numbers up after reading between the lines of our sketchy description of events with Shannen. Maybe that’s a story for another day.

As for the film, well, I was late for my meeting that following morning and the studio weren’t happy, but then again, neither was I. They were driving me mad with their musical choices and in the end I gave up my right to final say on the soundtrack on one condition: that I made the casting decision on the role of Giselle Thomas, the escaped fourth victim. She was blonde in the book but it didn’t stop Shannen Doherty winning my vote. She was perfect too and the three of us enjoyed a celebratory repeat of our fun and games after the English Premier of the film at the Odeon Theatre, Leicester Square, London. The movie was a box office smash.

Shannen’s married now and I don’t suppose we’ll ever manage a hat trick of threesome’s. Still, I have the memories and Susan and I are expecting our first child in four months time. Hey, I bet you can even guess what we’re planning on calling the baby if it’s a girl…

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Amsterdam,

You’re a good writer-but, you may sometimes “over-write”. For starters, twenty thousand words is a very, very large post. Odds are Laurel will place your story in the “Novels and Novellas” category. That’s a shame because it will cut down on the number of folks who’ll commit to reading your story.

Length aside, the major flaw I found with your writing was a tendency to be a little wordy. Of course, the problem with that is it tends to slow the pace of a story.

Here are a few examples.

A: My wife didn’t need asking twice and got on the bed as instructed, laying on her back and using a pillow to prop herself up higher to give Shannen easy access to her desired target.
RF: IMHO, this sentence may be too long and wordy. Everything after “instructed” could either be omitted or turned into a separate sentence.

A: My back stroke was slow and deliberate and I paused slightly before ramming into her again, grunting as my cock sank quickly, extracting guttural groans of pleasure from Shannen.
RF: Modifying “paused” with “slightly” is like modifying “pregnant” with “slightly.”

A: I went slowly at first, still all too aware that I was still on the brink of orgasm,
RF: The modifier “still” appears twice in one phrase. That’s usually a distraction.

Hope some of this is a little help.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[amsterdam]

Rumple

Thanks for taking the time to read through my lengthy story and offer your observations: they were just what I was looking for. I'll make an effort to be less wordy from now on!

I'm now pondering the story length. I have another story posted at lit that is 22,000 words that wasn't shunted into the Novels and Novella's category and so I hadn't even considered that. I don't set out to write that many words, it just kind of develops as I go along. One of my main aims when writing is to make the story as 'real life' or believable as possible and I find myself trying to add depth to the story and characters as I go along.

If there was more sex in the first half of the story then I could split it in two. I suppose I could add another scene in to do just that. Hmmm...What do you think?

Thanks again RF

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

amsterdam,

When writing a story for Lit, an added sex scene is usually like chicken soup, it can't hurt.

As to length, if you're comfortable with your present style, don't change it just for the sake of making the story shorter. But if you're concerned about word count, you might try checking out some of Hemingway's "Nick Adams" short stories or Crane's "The Red Badge of Courage" (IMHO, the best "war" novel ever written) to see how a couple pretty fair writers used only essential details in telling a story.

It may be worth noting, that both men had a background in newspapers-which put an emphasis on brevity. On the other end of the spectrum, you'll find a couple pretty good scribblers named Joyce and Proust.

Rumple Foreskin.

 

[A7inchPhildo]

First off, I enjoyed reading a intellectual story thanks.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Won't beat a dead horse you read Rumples
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The narrative at the beginning was a little annoying. a bit of a jester joke felt like you were taunting the reader more than teasing to read on.
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I would strongly suggest making a separation or some notation of when the character is narrating thinking to himself or holding conversation.

Example:**********************quote
“I think that’ll do it actually. I was supposed to get to pick the music for the movie but they don’t seem too keen on my ideas and so I’m thinking we’ll come to some compromise pretty quickly so I can get back home.” I’d so far failed to mention that I was married. I don’t know why and felt quite guilty about it. I immediately thought that if I said anything now, it’d seem as if I was trying to hide it and I was worried she’d like me less. I don’t know what I was playing at. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe the fact that she’d not mentioned a boyfriend or husband of her own.
****************
Talking to Jen, Then narrative purpose for readers acknowledgment, Then inner thoughts of the situation, Then back to a narrative.
I may not be reading this properly as you intended. There are several of these areas I question about the character or narrator or inner thoughts.

Example:*****************************quote
“Is there anything you want to do in particular tomorrow or anything else I can get for you tonight?”

‘Yeah I want to shag you senseless and you could get me some handcuffs so I’d be at your mercy’ was the sentence that immediately jumped into my head. Fortunately, this was closely followed by an image......
********************

Could mention "in my thoughts I wanted to say" "thinking". I am reading the story twice in shock the first time cause it is out of the characters structure you have set.
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****************************** story quote
I must have drifted off to sleep and was awoken by a gentle knock on the door. I looked at the clock and let out an expletive as I saw it said 1920.
*************
Why military time? What clock is in military? Watch perhaps?
--------------------------------------------------------------------


******************story quote
After swallowing two paracetamol when they arrived, I tossed and turned for another hour before
******************
I am sorry I have an education too yet this word is not in my vocabulary nor in Webster's dictionary. I know it is aspirin from some chemist book. I like the 10 cent words it spices the memory. This is a $1.50 a little far above for a simple post in my opinion.
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Laughed at the laminate card scene
Smile, liked the way he meets shanon
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LOL, love the twist of fate. I was wondering why he did not call his wife before the party. Now it makes sense.
**************quote
“Not only that, but I’m here!”

“Here? Here where?”

“LA! I just got in! There’s been a delay with the bags but I should be out of here in an hour! Where shall I tell the taxi to take me?”
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My first pick too... I love Sarah

**********quote
“I’ll admit this much though Russ. If I was going to have my first girl on girl fun, she wouldn’t be a bad choice, especially as you couldn’t manage to meet up with Sarah Michelle Gellar you useless git.”
*******************************
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This don't make sense He tells Jen he never cheated on sue.
then during sex you place these two separate comments.
********************************************quote
I felt a little awkward. I suppose it was only natural after having a monogamous relationship with my wife ever since we’d been together. I wasn’t sure whether fucking Shannen was going to be easier or harder with Susan watching but I was about to find out.
*********************************
later
***********************************quote
“I’m on the pill, tested with a clean bill of health less than three months ago, no unprotected sex since. You?”

“Tested six months into our relationship, neither of us has had unprotected sex since apart from with each other,” I replied hurriedly.
************************************
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Find another way to emphasize O
***************quote
“Oh god, come on Russ,” she said breathily emphasising the o of on.
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disappointed with the sex scene end. I have been reading 2+ hours and a quick description at the end?
****************quote
“Oh goodie, you can finish what you started then while I taste the mingling juices of you and Russ.” She climbed on top of Shannen and shuffled her ass backwards so that her curly bush was just above Shannen’s mouth. I lay back in wonder, watching the pair of them bring each other to orgasm again, my cock recovering much quicker than I gave it credit for: its reward a double tongue bath once the girls had finished with each other. It was a fitting climax to the most amazing day of my life: the life of the luckiest guy in the world.
*******************************
This could have been expanded upon due to the length of the rest of the story. would have balanced it better I think. You were so descriptive earlier on then to throw this at the end is rather bland in my opinion.
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Enjoyed the end it gave a good closure to the story
_________________________________________________________________________


Amsterdam,

Overall I like the story rather realistic. Has a good sense of humor mixed with a lot of intrigue. I could follow along well and was not left hanging for thoughts, very smooth flow. I did enter the story with thoughts of an erotic story, and it was. I just felt a little strung by the time they were at the airport. Not much teasing going on. That is also your choice. I was not disappointed and glad I read it.

Spelling is not a factor I am going to correct. But words like breathily should be considered when spell checking.

Phildo

 

[amsterdam]

Rumple

I pondered the length thing for a day and decided to more or less keep it the same (barring the recommended changes made here of course). I looked up some top-listed lit stories and quite a few of those were lengthy affairs and hadn't been stuck in the Novels and Novella's section. I'll try and get hold of the Hemmingway stuff at least and will set myself a maximum word limit on the next story I submit here to see how I go...

Cheers.

 

[amsterdam]

Phildo,

wow, two and a half hours huh? Thanks so much for investing the time to read and comment. I'm glad you enjoyed it in the whole and you make some very valid points.

Let's go through a few - the early narrative. I could see how it could be annoying. It is kinda cocky but I just wanted to set it up by conveying that the character was a normal Joe Blow who'd managed to change his life round and ended up with some unbeliveable rewards. I didn't want to give too much away either. Maybe I'll try to make it a little less condescending...

Okay, the bit where Russ has the thought of shagging Jenny sensless. I could see how that would come across as being out of character, but I sometimes have those thoughts, don't you!? It doesn't mean I'm going to act on them. But, in the context of this story, I think you're right.

Military clock! I've stayed in a few hotels in various American states and they all seemed to have the 24 hour digital displays. Anyway, if it irked you, it'll irk someone else so I'll change. No probs.

Similar with the paracetamol - it's a household drug in the UK. I didn't realise it was uncommon over the pond. I'll change that too.

The end sex scene - sorry! I'll make it more descriptive before I submit. I guess I was all sexed out at that point and thought the reader may be too! How naive of me!

Airport - I didn't put any teasing in as I figured Russ was just amazed that he was chatting and riding with Shannen. He wasn't really expecting anything to happen when they got to her place and neither was Shannen. She was just after some good company and he was just awestruck and looking to impress the wife! However, I can see there is room there for more teasing and flirting if the above didn't come across well enough in the story. I'll think about changing that too.

Finally, breathily - it passed a spell checker but I can't find it in a dictionary anywhere! Anyone? Bueller, Bueller?

Thanks again Phildo - I really do appreciate it.

Amsterdam.

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Okay, the bit where Russ has the thought of shagging Jenny sensless. I could see how that would come across as being out of character, but I sometimes have those thoughts, don't you!? It doesn't mean I'm going to act on them. But, in the context of this story, I think you're right
*************

You mistook I like the parts and yes I do talk to my self inwardly in certain situations LOL. I meant I am reading and did not realize when you shifted from open dialect to inner thoughts, or narrative.
I think a certain line skip would solve it? Allowing the reader to know there is a change.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Military clock!
*******
That is your choice but I do a lot of traveling not a common sight in the U.S. unless you are near a big international airport. Lax ? I don't know?
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Finally, breathily - it passed a spell checker but I can't find it in a dictionary anywhere! Anyone? Bueller, Bueller?
*****************
There were several of these kind of words. I happen to not care much it was " Very Goodly " none the less. That is one of my favorites I use but know it is wrong. But it does convey what you were trying to say.
Breathily --> Breathed heavily --- out of breath --- heavily breathing--- audible breath
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Ferris Bueller is a comic show. I still find way too much humor in even today. A clasic each show.

 

[Icingsugar]

Now, this was a pleasant read. Longer than my big, dripping...nose (yeah, I have a cold). But still pleasant.

In fact, the whole story in all it's almost 20 000 words went down quite smoothly. The story plods along at a comfortable pace and despite the long way to the announced goal of the whole expedition, it manages to stay an entertaining read. This is mainly achieved through two things:

1: Your dialouge is really good. Relaxed, naturral, and just a little bit more witty then people in real life is, which makes it interresting, without losing it's credibility. Top score.

2: "Blob"
Should I explain that, or do you get what I mean? Ok, I'll elaborate. With Blob I'm or course referring to the "nickname" of that bore Bob, and even moreso, the light, offhand way that it is blurted out. "Blob" is of course just an example of literally hundreds of clever little remarks. The narrative and dialouge is spiced with little amusing little witynesses (is that a real word?), reflections and observations. They vary from just mildly entertaining to razor sharp. For instance, I loved the blunt description of a 30 year old's angst: Responsible people were 30 years old. People achieved things by the time they were 30.


Oh, well, on to the critisism:
First of all, I really do think that the length might cause a bit f a problem. Yes, there are some very good long stories here, but the really good, long reads are the ones that come to you in waves, feeding you a conclusion and roundup pretty soon, just to keep the reader on his toes, before raising the bar (literally) and heading out into deeper and deeper waters.. Here it is clearly stated from the first like what is going to happen. Russ is gonna have sex with Shannen, and it was all just good, clean fun. Ok, now we know. For the next 19 000 words, there will be no unexpected twists and turns, and no wondering how things will end.

Simply put: I think your main problem here is the initial setup. You start by having the guy shouting out "Guess what? I shagged Shannen Doerthy". And for the rest of the long, long read that was all I was thinking about. So, now he is getting head from his wife. Yeah, nice, but when does he get to bang the star? And then he comes to LA, meet interresting and fun pepole and have interresting and fun conversations with them for what seems to be forever. And it's all fine and dandy, and I enjoyed every paragraph. But when does he hump the star?

Also, the whole celebrity theme can be really fun. But the turn-on most often lies in someone getting what is unreachable. Since you make such an affair out of the fact that Shannen is an unreachable star in the first place, I think the thrill of it is a bit lost when Russ himself becomes a bestselling author and thus a demigod in his own right. He is a star (albeit new and quite star-struck still), and what do stars do? They sleep with the other stars.

I think your best bet would be to just suggest that a big change in his life have happened, that it had to do with lots of great sex (the readers will expect nothing less) and let the whole Who and How unfold as the story trots on instead.

I am also biased against really getting into the sex bit, since Doerthy for some reason or the other does absolutely nothing for me. She is pretty and all, but no bells ring. So I stay away from commenting on the sex section, other than to observe that the fluid language continues thoughout.
But me and Shannen is just a personal quirk. Thousands and thousands of kids jacking off to Charmed on afternoon TV surely disagrees woth me.

 

[amsterdam]

Cheers, Icingsugar. That was a sweet reply (sorry!). The praise was very welcome. Always helps this writer's confidence. The criticism was welcome too although you astute readers are throwing me more questions than answers!

Okay, let's see - the set-up. Oh what a quandry! How many readers will I lose by not mentioning who is involved or what is going to happen? More than I gain? It was intended as a hook to entice people into reading the story and again, the length just comes down to trying to make it real. Do you think that if I keep it all a mystery by changing the start that I shouldn't mention Shannen Doherty in the little tag line at the side of the title that accompany the stories when you look them up? How else do I get people to be interested in THIS story?

As for Russ being a star, well, he is and he isn't. Most author's aren't in the same league as TV/Movie stars and this guy is totally wet behind the ears and certainly doesn't act or feel like a star. I'm gonna leave him as an author - crucial to the story. No author, no trip to LA, no meeting Shannen, no story!

As for not being a Shannen fan, well, I won't hold it against you. After all, we can't all have good taste!

Thanks again for your input - you made me smile today Hope the cold gets better soon.

Amsterdam

 

[Pure]

Hi Amsterdam,

Much has been said that accurate in my opinion, and in particular I recall the statement about things unfolding fairly straightforwardly over the several thousand words in the last half of the story. I think it's very well written, and there is an attempt to make there be characters; you thought of reasons for the things to happen and set the scene. Having Susan along to grease the wheels as well as make a threesome is a nice idea. That is perhaps the best feature that gives freshness to the story.

I don't read much in the 'celeb' subgenre, so please feel free disregard any remarks which simply show I'm not into it or don't understand it. I do have some understanding of porn, and even the elusive 'erotica.'

So let's get into a basic problem, compounded I think, in celebrity porn. Amassing of details. It's as if you're in the bar, and the guys keep asking--- and how much hair was on her pussy? and how deep were you? etc. In porn, the 'graphic' details take on a life of their own (there for their own sake). You are expected to provide them, since lotsa males and some females are going to wank to them. BUT they may detract from the story, just as, if I were writing of an auto race, i put in too much about the actions of the pistons, valves, and carburetor, because I knew the story would be read by racing car build-your-own buffs. "As I neared the finished line, oil was pumping into the cylinders at about 10 cc per second, and the engine block temperature hit 2200F degrees."

In a word, as has been mentioned, 'economy' comes into all good writing; porn tends to 'guild the lily' and be overwritten.

Second, character: I know nothing about Shannen, except her picture. It's a premise that she's a great shag (which of course we know isn't true of many sex goddesses like Marilyn Monroe).
But I find her just a little too perfect--perfect looker, perfect sucker; perfect fucker--, from body details to fuck style. Maybe that's the game though?

Let me comment on some specific points in a late passage when things are heating up. My comments in {{ }} Your words or passages being commented on are marked //xxxx//.

“Get ready Susan,” I announced. “//My cock is rigid and ready. //Are you prepared for my long hard prick Susan? Are you ready to feel me pounding in and out of you, thrusting back and forth in your soaking pussy?” She loved it when I talked dirty to her and was vigorously nodding her head.

{{I find the speech stiff--excuse the pun-- that she wants 'dirty talk' doesn't quite cover you. "My cock is rigid and ready." is pretty stereotyped as a piece of porn, i.e, it's for the reader.}}

“Oh yes, I need it now Russ. Now! Fuck me honey, fuck me now.”

Shannen was still teasing Susan’s breasts and nipples but I wanted her to be more involved. “Shannen, sit on Susan’s face and let her taste your wonderful pussy while I fuck her. I wanna see my wife have her first taste of female sex.” {{a bit wordy, as you say, "instructions"}}

Shannen didn’t speak as she carried out my instructions, squatting over Susan’s mouth, facing me. I watched Susan tentatively snake out her tongue and feel her way around Shannen’s labia, finally settling into a rhythm, up and down the centre of her slit, flicking at her clit as she reached the top.

{{The guys are saying "How did that sluts tongue move on Susans pussy? Answer : "up and down the center, flicking at the clit when she reached the top."}}


Shannen snapped her head back and gently rocked on her heels in time with my wife’s tonguing.

I didn’t take my eyes of the pair of them as I positioned myself missionary style in front of Susan’s needy sex. {{'needy sex' is overwritten, imo}}I slowly pushed forward against her opening and the resistance was minimal. I //teasingly//{{too much, imo}} pressed forward until my cock was buried deep within the heat below.

Susan immediately started to move her hips against my cock, //desperately needing//{{stock phrase}} to come. I purposely inched my way up her body with my cock still inside her //so that the base of my penis and my pelvic bone would be in direct contact with her clitoris //

{{the man's been reading the manuals or intending to instruct the uninformeed reader: ensure pelvic bone contacts clitoris. he has to tell us about his expertise.}}


as I moved in and out of her. //It was a position that yielded the desired heightened pleasure for my wife while not being the most stimulating for myself. //

{{This is a clunker; sex-manual-ish; if the story's hot this sort of passage isnt necessary}}

At the same time, her movements up and down Shannen’s pussy were becoming more //fervent and passionate//{{too much; what's the diff?}}.

“Play with her tits Shannen. Pinch her nipples, pull on them, twist them, that’s it. She loves it rough when she’s this turned on don’t you?”

“Yes, oh yes,” she mumbled out from underneath Shannen.

Between us we brought Susan to a shuddering climax in a matter of seconds, //shaking and quivering with orgasmic delight//{{this phrase is a bit over the top}}, her muffled cries lost in the depths of Shannen’s cunt. {{good; 'muffled' is unnecessary}}

I lay still in her, not daring to move again in fear of coming myself as my cock throbbed inside of her. Shannen raised herself from above Susan and sat beside her, stroking her hair and planting soft kisses on her forehead and cheeks as my wife’s breathing slowly returned to normal and her body lay still, recovering from her //blissful utopia. //{{that's the thesaurus talking}}

I looked at Shannen and she was mouthing something to me. She had to do it a second time before I realised what it was. She was mouthing I want your cock. Now. I wanted her to say the words out loud and I had a feeling that she was worried what Susan would think.

“Can someone please take my blind fold off? I want to watch the two of you fuck each others brains out,” stated Susan as if witnessing your husband screwing another woman was a normal event.

My cock twitched again and a smile broke at the corner of Shannen’s mouth as she untied the blindfold from Susan. Shannen unlocked the cuffs to her hands and I undid the restraints that were binding her feet to the bed. Shannen and I looked at one another across the bed, Susan between us, flushed and glistening looking from one to the other. //I felt a little awkward. I suppose it was only natural after having a monogamous relationship with my wife ever since we’d been together. I wasn’t sure whether fucking Shannen was going to be easier or harder with Susan watching but I was about to find out.// {{This 'innocence' is laid on a little thick, at this point. imo}}

Shannen was still naked and walked back over to her shoe store, disappearing behind the door. I wondered what she’d come out with this time.

“You alright?” I asked Susan.

“God yeah,” she replied. “That was, well, as near as damn it perfect. I see you’re still enjoying yourself.” She pointed at my erect cock, still slick from her juices. “What’s it like knowing that one of your biggest fantasies is about to come true?” {{I find this a 'set up' question.}}

“A little scary but extremely fucking exciting at the same time,” I whispered. It was true. Even though we’d both been comfortable in her company for the last few hours it was the ‘new partner’ feelings multiplied by ten just because of who she was. Apart from the loyal fans, authors are pretty much anonymous to the world in general where as //Shannen, well, she’s a household name gracing the covers of the worlds most glamorous magazines and appearing on our TV screens on a very regular basis.// {{why are we being told all this in the middle of a sex scene?} I was amazed at how accepting and trusting she’d been towards the pair of us. Hell, if any of what had gone on tonight made the press, well, I’d sell a few more books, that is for sure!

The creak of the wardrobe door told us Shannen was returning and we both turned to look.

“I thought I’d make a bit of an effort. //I love dressing up, it really cranks up my excitement levels.// {{this is an authorial device to set up a highly costumed visual}} I’ve a feeling they’re about to reach new heights.” She //made no secret of the fact that she was lustfully eyeing my throbbing prick as she walked towards me,//

{{Simply: She looked lustfully at my cock. With her gaze she devoured my cock. OK, it's gotta be 'throbbing'.
but why 'made no secret'? it's the author being paid by the word, as it were.}}

looking every inch a dominating man-eater. “I can’t wait to have your cock inside me Russ.”

{{doesn't work for me. How about "Come fuck this pussy right now!}}

Her voice had turned husky, breathy and she was speaking slowly in a loud whisper. “What about you Russ? Are you ready to fuck Shannen Doherty? {{This is the label for the reader: the Shannon fuck begins}}



//Are you ready to feel your cock sliding in and out of here?”//

{{Sorry I don't buy that 'in and out' stuff. These are not sixth graders: "How does the penis move during intercourse?" "that's right, in and out." How about "Are you ready to jam it in there?"}}



She licked her fingers and rubbed them up and down her sex, only feet from me now.

{{This is going to be the Shannen visual:}}
She was wearing knee high tight black leather boots with lacing up the front and the heels had given her an extra three or four inches in height. Her eye level was now at my chin rather than my chest. Her legs and pussy remained bare but she had put on a tight corset that pulled in her waist and pushed up her shapely breasts. She flicked her hair back as she stood in front of me and teasingly licked her lips as my cock //twitched and throbbed //between us. {{for the delectation of the reader}}

I resisted the urge to grab her and kiss her hard on the mouth, instead waiting for her to make the move, staring into her stunning green eyes, holding her gaze as her lips came slowly towards mine. {This is incredibly detailed, second by second.}}



They brushed together softly and I closed my eyes waiting for Shannen to slowly open her mouth, for the kiss to become more //intense, passionate and needy.//{{that's a lot!}} I was to have to wait for that moment as Shannen’s lips left mine and gently, gloriously kissed their way over my chin, my neck, my chest, my stomach and then as she got to her knees, /

//they paused at the tip of my cock as she brushed her hair back. I gasped in anticipation, my legs feeling as if they would give way at any moment. She *swirled her tongue round the head*, down the shaft and then back up again. I became aware of my wife sat on the edge of the bed, leaning forward, watching intently as Shannen continued to work her way *expertly up and down my aching cock*.// {{This is a little too stock, as in 'swirled her tongue around the head' and 'expertly up and down my aching cock'; I realize it's an assumption that Shannen is an expert, but the telling is pretty stock.}}

----

Overall. The writing is smooth. Often hot. A bit too often manipulative (pornishly descriptive). The story is definitely there, far more than 90% of posted writings, and you've knitted it well together. I'd say with a little discipline, you could reduce the words by 10%; tighten it. A few more surprises would have been nice (she loves to cornhole Susan!). You have a lot of talent, but it's as if you are sometimes directing it to someone's agenda or menu (Guccione's?).

Best of luck in your endeavors.

J.

 

[Guest]

The story is a good read. However, about halfway through it, I wondered when the action was going to start. Giving us details about the characters is a good thing. However, I think there were more details between saying Russ had done Shannen Dougherty and the actual event than there needed to be. I guess this part of it really depends on your style as a writer and a reader's preference. To be honest, if I had not been reading to give feedback, I never would have read the entire story. There's alot in the middle of the story that I didn't need to know in order to enjoy the story and the ending. I think the scene between Shannen, Russ, and his wife is great. It has good details, flows well, and really draws in the reader. There is a tendency to be wordy, but that seems to happen more in the part of the story that leads up to the event than it does in the description of the threesome.

Overall, it's a good story. Other than the occasional wordiness, the story itself flows well, but my personal opinion is the details need to be condensed some. Other things that I noticed have already been mentioned by the other's giving feedback, so I see no reason to go back over what has already been said.

 

[amsterdam]

Hi Pure

Interesting critique! First off a big thanks for the input and encouragement. I think some of your suggestions are, to borrow a phrase, cock-on. However, Shannen not being perfect? Are you kidding me?! Okay, her feet smell a little but I wouldn't add that into a story like this - surely?!

It'll probably me another month before I take all of the suggestions on board and finally submit but be safe in the knowledge that some of yours will be in there, thanks.

I just have a final couple of questions regarding your ending sentance:

A few more surprises would have been nice (she loves to cornhole Susan!). You have a lot of talent, but it's as if you are sometimes directing it to someone's agenda or menu (Guccione's?).

She loves to cornhole Susan - que?! Okay call me naive and innocent but what the heck is 'Cornholing?' and who the f**k is Guccione?! Answers on a postcard please!

Amsterdam

 

[amsterdam]

Crimson Maiden

Appreciate the feedback and praise. I realise that the story isn't for everyone and know I'll lose some readers half way in if they're getting desperate for 'the action to start.' You're right when you say it is down to writer's style and readers preference. I try to write stories that I'd enjoy reading and for me, this would mean building a story and characters to make it appear as real as life itself. I'll knock out the wordiness when I eventually submit. Glad you enjoyed the sex!

Amsterdam

 

[Pure]

-----------------POSTCARD-----------------
To: Amsterdam
From: pure

She loves to cornhole Susan - que?! Okay call me naive and innocent but what the heck is 'Cornholing?' and who the f**k is Guccione?! Answers on a postcard please!

I blush to deal with the first question so publicly.**

But Guccione is/was the editor of the late, soon defunct, partly lamented Penthouse magazine, and presumably directed the selection of the somewhat formulaic stories of _Penthouse Variations_ "It happened to me when the new secretary with big melons had to work late....."


p

**just kidding: Shannen would cornhole Susan by sticking a tongue up her ass:

see also (great resource) "urban dictionary"

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cornhole

 

[amsterdam]

Pure

that's the funniest postcard I've had in ages, although it's rather upsetting to find out that I'd have fitted right in with Mr Guccione's publication and that it's about to become defunct all at the same time! Who the hell do I get to publish my work now?

Thanks for the urban dictionary link - I can see that coming in very useful. Cornholing - I guessed it'd be something like that but I put my lack of knowledge down to it being an american phrase!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I'm the one who's always calling for shorter submissions, so you can pretty well guess what my reaction is. 20,000 words for a piece of ass is too high a price for me.

Actually, there's nothing wrong with a piece being long. What really matters is the entertainment density. There should be some sort of payoff in interest or entertainment every so often, something that keeps you reading. I just didn't find it here.

The writing is very, very good, there's no doubt about that. Dialogue is natural, the prose is slick, maybe too slick.

One of the problems in first person, for me at least, is that you have to find the narrator worth spending time with. Either he's likeable, sympathetic, insightful, witty, admirable, something. I'm afraid I didn't like this guy after awhile. I'll freely admit that I found the idea of a guy who cranks out a block-buster novel on his first try without breaking a sweat to be offensive to me as a writer. But everything comes easy for this guy, and despite his protestations, he clearly expects the world to treat him this way. He's quite pleased with himself and seems quite confidant that we'll want to read what he has to say just because he's the one who's saying it.

Is that silly on my part? Definitely. But no sillier than his expectation that everything he has to say is worth hearing. And it's especially galling that he's constantly elbowing me and winking ("See the connection with Shannen Doherty yet?" &c.) to make sure I;m still listening. He's like the boring guy in the bar who won't leave you alone and won't get to the point. He loves to hear himself talk.

Just my opinion.

---dr.M.

 

[hiddenself]

-----------------POSTCARD-----------------
To: Amsterdam
From: pure

She loves to cornhole Susan - que?! Okay call me naive and innocent but what the heck is 'Cornholing?'

I blush to deal with the first question so publicly.**

**just kidding: Shannen would cornhole Susan by sticking a tongue up her ass:

I'm not sure about this definition of "cornhole." I think its most common meaning is anal penetration ("sodomize," "buttfuck," etc -- pick your term), particularly forceful.

The word for using the tongue on/in someone's ass is "rimming," I believe.

 

[hiddenself]

ooops
double vision, double vision...

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I'm not sure about this definition of "cornhole." I think its most common meaning is anal penetration ("sodomize," "buttfuck," etc -- pick your term), particularly forceful.

The word for using the tongue on/in someone's ass is "rimming," I believe.

A useful site for clarifications of terms:

http://www.viz.co.uk/profanisaurus/profanis.htm


---dr.M.

 

[amsterdam]

Dr M,

thanks for your opinions, and wow, did I create a character that you really didn't like! That, of course, was not my intention and so when it comes round to incorporating all the other wonderful suggestions here, I'll do my best to make him less annoying and more likeable. I've been thinking of a few things that I could also add in to give more entertainment as you say to the middle of the story. Difficult, as I wanted to keep the guy faithful to his wife but I think I may have found a solution. Sorry you didn't like the idea of him producing a blockbuster after a short period of time but it does happen.

Anyway, thanks. I was surprised when your comments appeared as you've made it clear about not liking the longer submissions here, so I appreciate you taking the time to go through the story. I just did it as Rumple F appealed for more story discussion submissions on the Authors Hangout and as it happened, I'd just finished this. Glad I did it now as I can see the story isn't as good as I thought it was! Kinda hard reading some of the comments first off, but once you get over the initial shock of having your work diced and spliced, it's definitely a worthwhile exercise and most of the comments are very astute. Cheers everyone.