When your spouse transitions

[Bigboobbabe]

I am CIS female, married 36 years. We met in 9th grade. Dated our senior year. We were apart 6 months when I was in college. Together until 2020

I am 100% heterosexual. I have no bicurious or bisexual leanings.
My spouse, who has had a thing for female clothes since puberty, is transitioning MtoF.

I knew about the clothes before we married. As LGBTQ became mainstream, my acceptance did too. Everywhere except in the bedroom. Feminine hands and nails, bras and breastforms and nightie turned me off
Lack of PIV wouldn't work for me.

We now live separately, hormones have failed to provide all the changes desired and top surgery consult is scheduled.

I am lonely, feel abandoned, feel invisible and replaced as my spouse takes over role of matriarch in the family. I am ostracized by the in-laws and I am not sure what they alienated me for.
My family is unaware, at her request and I have honored it.
My daughter lives with her "Dad" and set the expectation it would always be Dad and daughter.

Am I alone?
Has anyone been through this and come out happier on the other side?

 

[dodgeboy2]

I am CIS female, married 36 years. We met in 9th grade. Dated our senior year. We were apart 6 months when I was in college. Together until 2020

I am 100% heterosexual. I have no bicurious or bisexual leanings.
My spouse, who has had a thing for female clothes since puberty, is transitioning MtoF.

I knew about the clothes before we married. As LGBTQ became mainstream, my acceptance did too. Everywhere except in the bedroom. Feminine hands and nails, bras and breastforms and nightie turned me off
Lack of PIV wouldn't work for me.

We now live separately, hormones have failed to provide all the changes desired and top surgery consult is scheduled.

I am lonely, feel abandoned, feel invisible and replaced as my spouse takes over role of matriarch in the family. I am ostracized by the in-laws and I am not sure what they alienated me for.
My family is unaware, at her request and I have honored it.
My daughter lives with her "Dad" and set the expectation it would always be Dad and daughter.

Am I alone?
Has anyone been through this and come out happier on the other side?

I for one can't say I have or know of anyone in this situation but hope you find a way to het through this! I am sure somewhere there has to be some sort of support for this situation and hope someone can guide you to find it. I hope the best for you and said a bit of a prayer for you.

 

[ChrissyCD64]

I am CIS female, married 36 years. We met in 9th grade. Dated our senior year. We were apart 6 months when I was in college. Together until 2020

I am 100% heterosexual. I have no bicurious or bisexual leanings.
My spouse, who has had a thing for female clothes since puberty, is transitioning MtoF.

I knew about the clothes before we married. As LGBTQ became mainstream, my acceptance did too. Everywhere except in the bedroom. Feminine hands and nails, bras and breastforms and nightie turned me off
Lack of PIV wouldn't work for me.

We now live separately, hormones have failed to provide all the changes desired and top surgery consult is scheduled.

I am lonely, feel abandoned, feel invisible and replaced as my spouse takes over role of matriarch in the family. I am ostracized by the in-laws and I am not sure what they alienated me for.
My family is unaware, at her request and I have honored it.
My daughter lives with her "Dad" and set the expectation it would always be Dad and daughter.

Am I alone?
Has anyone been through this and come out happier on the other side?

My wife, a lifelong bisexual, knew about me when we met as I always wore female clothing except for school and that is why we hit it off and she is happy and proud that I have now totally transitioned except I still have my cock. The same for our son/daughter and his/her wife. The only family member that we have had to help transition is our daughter's husband/wife who needed more than a little encouragement but has now almost completed the transition. Our once male grandchildren are also transitioned. Over the years we have helped many of my wife's girlfriends transition their husbands into their wive's.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

It seems to me that bisexual partners are able to handle the body changes better

I tried to embrace it, but it's not for me. When his cock was non-functional, he offered to wear a strap on so I could feel vaginal penetration. The idea had no appeal.

I have a close work friend who was married with 2 children, then divorced. She has only been with females since.
I confided this to her. She responded very seriously that it shouldn't appeal to me because I am not a lesbian. She said if I was she would be the first to know
She also said,having had both, there is no comparison between a strap on and a flesh and blood cock.

 

[bi_cpl_with_crossdresser]

It can be hard when a spouse wants to transition, for a lot of people. I would suggest looking for a support group or therapist of some sort to talk to even just to get your own emotions out.

You personally cannot be expected to change your preferences even if your spouse wants you to, all that will do is cause resentment issues as time goes on.

I hope you can find some help with this situation.