When Love and Hate Reunite: Closed Thread

[SandS13]

He hugged her tighter. Chloe pressed into his skin. He surrounded her thoroughly. Ryan proclaimed his love, admitted that he never stopped. It pulled at Chloe's emotions. She had never stopped either. Her life was influenced by her love for Ryan. No one connected with her as he did and she had always known she would never marry or date again.

She smiled against him when he said he only masturbated to her writing. She briefly wondered if his fiance..former she corrected..knew that he did that.

They remained there, her on top. He slid out of her but they both seemed reluctant to break the spell.

"What do I see?" Ryan's question surprised her but admittedly it shouldn't have. He was and always had been the planner, the protector. She was the chaos. "I see us. I see us never being apart again." Chloe lifted her head and kissed him fully on the lips. "I don't know what I see beyond tonight but I want it all with you. I want a life with you. There are going to be things to deal with but we will tackle them together."

She smirked a little. "Do you really see us in a church? I always imagined a wedding outside, in a garden. Music..good food and dancing." It was Chloe who blushed now. "I know, more romantic than you are used to from me."

She laid back on his chest, face in his neck. "Do you want children? I always wanted to road trip with you...a van with a bed in the back and camping as we explore. You playing guitar around the fire." Her voice went soft. "I had so many dreams of our life after college so now we need to make some new ones. You have a job.."

and a life that I have upended but I wouldn't change any of it for this moment.. She thought the words but didn't speak them.

 

[The_gladiator]

“Definitely not a church,” Ryan said with a laugh, “All the good little Christians would have us burning in hell for what we do.” He chuckled at that, clearly joking, although serious about not in the church that they could agree on. “You know Hank went and got ordained a few years ago,” he smirked at her clearly teasing now.

He seemed to consider her next question, “As to children, I raise everyone else’s and I think I’d make a good father, but I’m not really ready to make that commitment with you now. If it came along, we would figure it out, but I have been half alive for too many years I want to focus on that, if that doesn’t sound too selfish.” As he spoke, he stroked his hand down her hair. “I do have a job, but I could take a leave of absence for a semester to travel with you.” He didn’t say that the two of them could easily live off her salary especially if she gave in and let that first book that had made her famous, the one Ryan had been so mad about, be made into a movie. He knew through the grapevine that she had turned down the deal, sure that Ryan would take her to court over it, actually taking to heart his letter that said he’d do just that., At one point he would have tried to take her to court for some of the profits siting perhaps that he owned some of the intellectual properties as it was about his life too. Instead they just had his letter to her where he told her that the book had better never be a movie, or she would be sorry.

He cleared his throat not wanting to turn the subject to less happy things. “You can make the book into a movie. I won’t fight you on it. Who cares about a stupid story, especially if at the end of the day I got the girl?” he asked, gently continuing to stroke her hair. “If I let you do that, we could probably both retire,” he said with a chuckle. “I do love to teach, but teaching would still be there even if I took time off to spend with you.”

Ryan sat up slowly and headed for the bathroom smiling at her over his shoulder, “C’mon, we’ll conserve water together,” he said with that wickedly playful smile. It might be cowardly to walk away after he dropped such a bomb about her book, but Ryan was only so brave, it had taken guts to offer to have that book be a movie. To admit he wouldn’t do anything to her for pursuing that.

 

[SandS13]

Chloe was glad that Ryan agreed with her, chuckling at the idea of them burning in hell. Frankly, they had done so much together just sexually that most strict christians would fall over dead if they ever found out.

Chloe had wanted to comment on Ryan's statement on children but he had kept going with his train of thought and by the time he got up, telling her to come shower with him to save water, she had almost forgotten the children talk entirely.

"Movie?" She breathed out the word like someone had punched her in the gut. No, she had long put that option to bed. Just the implication of his words in that letter. The thought of hurting him more had caused her to ensure the topic was never broached with her again by her agent and publisher.

She got out of the bed, scrambling to follow him. Her breasts bounced with the motion. "Ryan...Ryan wait-"

She appeared in the doorway, hair a mass of messy red waves. "Movie? You are joking..I mean...yes you got the girl but-"

Chloe moved to him, hands on her chest. She lifted her eyes to meet his. "Are you serious, baby?"

She wanted to make some cheesy joke about a new series of books based on their life and what was ahead of them but she didn't. Now was not the time for jokes. Her heart raced at the idea of them alone, traveling and making love across the country.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ryan turned to her flushing the toilet after having clearly relieved himself. He considered her for a long moment. “God you look so gorgeous like that, well loved,” he was clearly getting distracted.

He stepped closer and slid his arms around her. He pressed close until he could feel her breasts on his chest and his hands slid through her hair. “That would be a huge thing for your career. I heard they wanted someone famous to play the character, that redhead.” He shrugged, “I’m terrible with the names of actresses.” He hugged her tight then pulled back to start the shower.

“Sometimes people grow up. It was tough when I didn’t want Hannah to find out, but now, there’s less of me that honestly cares. Yes, people grow up, even me, but it’s a really great opportunity for you. I can’t be the person to stop you from that. Not anymore. Not after tonight. Doesn't that make sense?” His face was earnest. "What kind of a spouce would I be? I mean not that we are yet, but oh damn...you get it."

 

[SandS13]

He complimented her, almost making her forget the conversation. Chloe realized in that moment that she missed this, the easy way they just worked.

“Some hot actress..yes but-“ Chloe lost herself again as she was pressed to him. He just felt right. She felt at peace in his arms. “We are there. I mean damn it baby, I can’t even consider us not together. Not now, Ryan. I lost you for so long. I won’t go through that again. Spouse, lover..my best friend. It would be good for us. It will make a lot of money but it will come with public appearances and other publicity. Will you be okay with that? Being at my side for that? There is no just for me anymore.”

She reached up and pulled his face to look at her. “I am all in Ryan. Every decision we make is for us, together moving towards our future. Tonight, we go to the party it is us that makes the call of if and who we okay or if we just put on a hell of a show or if we say fuck it and stay hiding in this room to make love all night. Tomorrow, we decide what happens next and so on and so on...” Chloe shook her head. “All in.”

Her eyes almost challenged him. It was a last chance to back out, to go back to Hannah and the life he had.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ryan nodded, “You already see me as your spouse?” he asked even as he tested the water, his free arm still around her. But he knew it was true. They had been like it before the split, why wouldn’t they fall right back into it.

He turned to give her his full attention. “What will we tell them about the main character, when they ask if it’s me? I am just curious. What have you been telling people?” he asked softly. “Other than not wanting to be thought something I’m not I would love to be at your side. I mean I clean up nice, and lord knows you have sat through enough concerts.” He smiled down at her.

He tested the water again and then pulled the door to the shower open further stepping inside and pulling her in behind. “c’mon,” he urged. I really didn’t want everyone coming banging on our door until after we’ve cleaned up, taken time to explore and touch.”

 

[SandS13]

He kept an arm around her. If anyone else had questioned her like that Chloe might have bulked. But then, no one would ever ask her such a thing because only Ryan had ever been her partner. He pulled her into the water with him and she instinctively followed, stepped in and settled against him.

Chloe looked up at him. “I am glad we had that time before well...I don’t know what will happen tonight Ryan. I haven’t- not since we- “. Uncharacteristically, Chloe stumbled over her words.

The water ran over them. It soaked her hair and she realized it would wash his scent from her skin. Her arms tightened around him as if reminding herself that that didn’t matter because they were together. This was the first of many showers they would take together.

“We don’t have to tell them anything. Or we get ahead of it and tell them everything. You walk the carpet with me as my partner either way. The whole story will come out, it always does. Hell, I bet Hannah would make a ton selling her side of it to the tabloids.”

Chloe stepped back and looked at him. “I know the idea of it is going to bother you. I know that you never agreed to chaos but that is what you have always gotten when it comes to me. We will do it the way that makes you the most comfortable. As long as you will be with me I can weather anything that gets thrown at me. I did at the reunion and I will do it again over and over. The names, the comments. I don’t care. As long as you love me and are at my side Ryan nothing can hurt me.” She felt vulnerable but her back was straight and her eyes locked on his.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ryan cradled her against his chest as she pressed close to him. When she pulled back he looked a bit confused, “I meant more about my original issue with that book,” he said thinking they weren’t on the same page, “I meant the people that know that character is based off me, how do we tell them I’m not a lying sack of shit like that character?”

He pulled her back in close as he reached for the shampoo to begin to wash her hair. He made it clear with his touch that He wasn’t done touching her, as he massaged the shampoo through her hair and let his fingertips trace along her scalp.

They didn’t have to have all the answers tonight and he hoped his touch helped telegraph that. “I want to be with you what ever we tell people or how it goes,” he said softly just to be sure his message was clear even though he hoped his touch spoke.

 

[SandS13]

“We tell them the truth that I was wrong or we say it is fiction. We can say I am a bitch and made it up.” Chloe moved back into his arms. It was clear they weren’t quite understanding each other but it didn’t matter to her. They would figure it out. Together.

He washed her hair and Chloe moaned a little as his hands worked her hair. There were things she would only let Ryan do, say and things no other had been able to provoke in her. He was her weakness and her strength. She had never been able to explain it to anyone. It didn’t matter now. Now he was here and they were together again.

“I want that Ryan. I just want us.” She moved to look up at him, her hair full of suds. “I promise you that no matter what comes at us that we are in it together baby.”

 

[The_gladiator]

Ryan’s fingers were gentle as he massaged the shampoo through the red waves of her hair, keeping her pressed close to him. He could feel the feel of her breasts caressing along his chest as his body naturally moved with the washing motion.

“At the end of the day that’s what matters Chloe girl, it matters that we connect and that’s really all. The rest is just window dressing.” He was silent as he gently guided her head back into the water, watching the shampoo slide from her hair, suds sliding down her body, teasingly encouraging Ryan’s eyes to run down her body.

In that moment Ryan felt so many emotions, but strangely enough at the heart of it all Ryan felt safe and whole once more. How was that, how could he go from hating her so much to this feeling so right.

It was clear that the hatred had been a defense mechanism, a way to justify the pain to protect himself, but at the end of the day he had never let go.

His hands rinsed the last of the shampoo free and he then reached for the little bottle of conditioner. Adding that to his hands he worked it through her hair. “Am I still the only person other than you that you trust to do this right?” he asked teasingly smiling down at her. “I remember the one time that one guy, oh goodness I don’t even remember his name in college. The tall one with the beard. I remember you slapping his hands away from your head he made such a mess of everything. Though I think it was worse when he asked to brush it. You have a pretty good glare when you want to,” he said with a smile, “You very politely,” and this part sounded like he should be making quote marks in the air when he said that, suggesting that it had been anything but, “told him that he was not me and if he could not wash it he certainly could not be trusted to brush it. I think you made him sit there and watch me brush out your hair too. I know that’s usually a private thing for us, but something about his attitude just made you so want to rub it in his face.”

Ryan’s hands were gentle even as he grinned at her as he guided her hair into the water to take out the conditioner next.

 

[SandS13]

Chloe let him guide her into the water, out of the water. She let Ryan focus on the motion of washing and conditioning her hair as he talked through his thoughts. There was a few things they would need to work out but for right now, he was right.

The rest was window dressing. They were together again. Chloe had known she was missing something in her life, knew that no one had sparked what he had in her but she never really understood just how much was missing.

The water felt more refreshing than any shower before. The way his fingers worked the shampoo and conditioner, more relaxing and yet stimulating. The brush of his body hair on her skin, the sound of his voice in her ears. It was all more vibrant.

She looked up at him as Ryan talked about the past. Her eyes stayed on his, that spark in them.

"I love you. And not in just a you are fucking adorable and I love every moment of this sort of way. That too but Ryan, I love you more than anything in this world. I knew I missed you but it was more-"

The conditioner was forgotten as she pressed herself against him. Her hands roamed over his chest and up to his neck. "No one else was or will ever be you. You, Ryan are my greatest weakness and my biggest strength."

 

[The_gladiator]

“You love me because I tell silly stories about our past?” he asked as she told him, smiling at her adorable comment. Then he felt her press closer making it clear what she meant. “I love you too,” he said softly dipping his head to kiss her lips pressing her back against the wall as he quickly let himself get carried away, his hands still embedded in her hair as he sought to demonstrate through his touch how much he loved her too.

She was ever his strength and weakness too. Even this, this sensual moment. That was both a strength and weakness. Strength for how much this made him feel whole, but a weakness because he wanted her so badly, he would do almost anything to never lose this again, it was a love that had once almost bordered on obsession at times especially after she had left, and he was worried that would happen again. Only she had the power to so easily break him. He pored all of that into the kiss. All the need, all the emotion. It had not been an easy road for them and it wouldn’t get easier from here but at the end of the day he was glad she was with him on this path.

 

[SandS13]

"Yes I love the silly stories."

Then he kissed her. He kissed her with so much emotion that Chloe almost started to cry with the intensity. He was always her rock, so much so that it was easy to forget that he too could hurt and he too could ache with the pain of a broken heart.

Her arms went about his neck as she pressed into him. I will never leave you. Never again.. Wet bodies pressed together as they kissed. Eventually they needed to breathe and the sound of the heavy breaths filled the bathroom.

"You are all mine, Ryan and if you will have me I am yours. I never stopped being yours." She wanted to reassure him. Chloe pressed her forehead to his. "No matter what comes at us baby."

She smiled a little. "You are stuck with me now."

 

[The_gladiator]

He wanted to push her away when she said she had never stopped being his. He wanted to snap at her to tell that to his broken heart, but it was the truth. He had been with others, but he could never get away from her. Even engaged to someone else, he still revisited her writing, photos even for gratification. There was shame in that—knowledge that he had never really been faithful to anyone else, as he was always hers.

He didn’t push her away though; he just pressed his chin to the top of her head so she couldn’t see his expression until he could control it. “I want this so much,” he finally breathed speaking truth, “I want you more than I can tell you. You complete me in ways no one else does, but it’s going to take time to trust that you won’t leave,” he said softly.”

He pushed her back so he could look down into her green eyes, “I want to hold you so tight that I never let you go, and yet I also want to put you over my knee and spank your ass. Better yet, I want to hold you down and let someone else spank you because you know I could never hurt you enough to punish you the way you deserve.” He sighed, “I want to make you only mine, make it my pussy and mouth, and yet the desire to see you play with others is still there, the desire to let them know they can have a taste but at the end of the night you’ll come with me, they can have you once or twice, but I can have you once or twice a day.” He laughed, “Always such a mix of raw emotions with you Chloe Girl.”

 

[SandS13]

Chloe could sense the mixed emotions in the way his body reacted. It wasn’t one thing in particular but a range of things. The slight tension in his arms. The hitch of his breath. The way his head moved as if his thoughts were warring with his emotions. The slight wrinkle at the corners of his eyes as he fought a frown.

She knew that he was hurt and of course, that hurt lingered. It wasn’t until she had learned the truth that it had altered for her. It had been replaced with extreme guilt. What she had done was worse so she would never hold it against him for feeling as he did.

“I know, babe. I do. I fucked up so badly and it has been so long. I need to earn that trust. Show you what you mean to me. Show you I am in this, that I always wanted you. I am not going anywhere and I will prove it.”

Her eyes met his as she lifted her chin. Chloe knew he would see the sincerity there but it wasn’t enough.

“Oh, Ryan…” She lifted up on her tip toes and kissed him gently. “Let’s shower, dress and go to this party. I will stay on your arm the whole time and if you see an opportunity you wish to explore, say the word. Otherwise we go, we do what we do best and just be together.”

She sucked in her lower lip, looking thoughtful. “I want this Ryan. You and I. I want to do whatever it takes to show you how much I love you. Show me off, keep me to yourself. Just know at the end of the night you are who I want to be with.”

 

[The_gladiator]

Ryan listened to her and then nodded. “Ok,” he said as he took the soap and continued to wash her. It was almost as if Ryan had reached a point where he couldn’t talk anymore for the moment. He seemed intent on what his hands were doing to keep himself together.

His hands ran between her fingers washing her hand and then up her arm scratching her armpit as he washed there. Ryan was methodical in his washing of her, yet also quite sensual as he washed her.

He didn’t just soap the fun places like her breasts, though he didn’t avoid those places either. He seemed though to take as much care with washing her neck, face, and even her arms and hands as he spent on her breasts. Though, he knew all the erogenous zones and didn’t take mercy o any of them, nipples to her neck. He even smirked down at her when his hands were washing her neck and his hands were around it, bending to kiss her upturned mouth as his hands tightened a little on her neck, not to hurt her, but it was a quite possessive hold, not threatening when it came from Ryan.

 

[SandS13]

He agreed but Chloe knew he was processing, taking in what she had said and letting it settle in. She had been honest, she wanted this...not necessarily recapturing their youth but him, them as a couple. If that meant strolling through this party, enjoying a soak in the hot tub and leaving than that was fine with her. If it meant blowing the party off, also fine with her. If he wanted to go and suddenly decided he wanted to play in anyway, that too was fine with Chloe. What she wanted him to know was that she was going to work damn hard to earn his trust. That no matter the scenario he was the one she wanted to be with at the end of tonight.

Of every night from this point on. Too many years had gone by and she knew she had one last chance with him. There was no way in hell she was going to blow it.

Ryan was taking his time, washing her and feeling her body. Chloe wondered if part of it was just him taking her in, remembering what she felt like. She knew she wanted to wash him, to let her fingers begin memorizing every inch of him as they had before.

He was careful to hit every spot that he knew was going to make her turn on. Not just the obvious ones though he hit them too. Then those wonderful musician hands took hold of her neck and held her as he kissed her. Chloe moaned as she kissed him back. She couldn’t move her head but she wasn’t scared of him. It wasn’t that sort of grip. It was the kind that said she was his and he had her, would protect her and take care of her.

“Oh Ryan…” She breathed out the words as she tried to press and rub her soapy body against his. There were so many things that she only ever let him do. This was one of them. No other partner, not when they were playing in the past or her lovers since they had broken up had ever been allowed to grip her anywhere in such a possessive manner.

“Ryan, I love you.” She shouldn’t have said it..it was too early, things were still to raw but she wasn’t going to lie to him. She had never stopped.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ryan heard her words and his hands slid away from her neck. They smoothed down her back as he pressed close, completing the move she had started wanting to rub against him. “I know Chloe girl.” He pressed his forehead to hers and took a deep breath. “I love you too, but that scares me still. I never stopped loving you. I could see myself falling in love with you again easily and that is what is truly frightening, the power you have over me. Please Chloe, don’t break my heart this time,” he whispered.

His tears were silent and lost in the water. Ryan cried like an abuse victim, with no sound, like he was afraid someone would notice and make things worse. He knew she would know though. She was too close she couldn’t not know. She also knew the small signs that would tell her. Nor did he pull away, his emotions were what they were, and he couldn’t keep her from knowing so didn’t try. It was a strange combination of being extremely private about his emotions yet extremely open about them, it was a privilege he had only ever offered to her.

He finally pulled away and reached for the soap again to continue his washing of her. Clearly turning back to the act of taking care of her to distract from the pain of his emotions.

 

[SandS13]

His honesty was like a punch to the gut. He was afraid of loving her, of falling for her as he had before. Chloe couldn’t blame him. She hugged him, forehead to his as Ryan pleaded with her not to break his heart again.

The shake of his body, the attempts to hold it in, to keep silent...It tore at her. Chloe pulled him closer, hugged him to her as tightly as she could. One hand lifted to draw his head to her shoulder. She held him as he poured the fear and hurt into the water.

It was a mix of emotions for her. He was opened, raw and genuine. His hurt and fear that his heart would be broken, that he would be torn down again so palpable that Chloe’s pulse had picked up. He was trusting her and yet...she was the one that had done the damage in the first place and she was the one who had the potential to do it again.

When he pulled away, tried to wash her again, Chloe reached out to take the soap from him. She dropped it, not caring about it at all right now. She pulled him back against her.

“Ryan.” Her voice was shaky as she tried not to break down. “I know I hurt you. What I did was out of my own pain. It is inexcusable. I never stopped loving you and I will do whatever it takes to prove to you that you are the only one I love, the only person I want to end my nights with and start my days.”

She caressed his back. “I am so overwhelmed but I know one thing for certain. From this moment I am going to show you how much I love you. I am not going anywhere and nothing...I mean nothing is going to come between us Ryan. I promise you I won’t break your heart.” She was trembling as she hugged him. She didn’t want to cry, to make him feel like he needed to comfort her. No, he had just laid himself bare to her and she was not going to cloud that or minimize that by making it about her.

She kissed his cheek, once...twice...moving towards his mouth as she guided his face to hers. “Together. You and I. You are all that matters to me.”

Chloe meant it. She would give up everything, her work, her home..all of it to go with him, to be at his side forever. She could do it and not regret a single thing now that he was back in her life. She was going to hold onto him with everything she had. She loved him too much, had missed out on too much time with him already. She wouldn't let that happen again.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ryan seemed to resist her as she reached for the soap, causing it to fall away. He clenched his fists wanting to cling to the normalcy to the routine. However, she wanted to stay in the emotions, wanted to speak, and he couldn’t blame her for that.

“I really hope that’s true Chloe. I really hope we can avoid the mistakes of our past.” He blew out a sigh. “I’m sorry for my emotions.” He seemed to be shutting down just a bit, not on purpose but sadly still there. It was again him hitting an emotional wall.

He returned her kisses. “I know much matters in your life, please don’t say I’m the only thing that matters. I know it is a sweet sentiment but I don’t want you to throw everything you’ve worked for away just for me.” He ran his hand up and down her back while he wiped at his face with his free hand as if trying to smooth away the tears.

 

[SandS13]

It gutted her. To hear him so scared of her and what she could do to him. To hear him apologize for the fear and emotions. He was withdrawing, hiding from her, from all of this. Chloe’s chin trembled but she steeled herself. She was not allowed to be upset or emotional in this moment. She needed to be his strength just as he was for her.

She shook her head. “Don’t...don’t try and apologize for your feelings, Ryan. You are hurt and scared and yet this is...the potential both good and bad is overwhelming.” She reached up and gently stroked his cheek, a thumb brushing his tears. “I am not throwing anything away but things change. Life adapts and everything else can shift but this, this can’t. I want you in my life, Ryan. I want to have a future with you. I have been missing so much without you and now, all the rest I want to experience it with you.”

Chloe reached over and turned the shower off. The rest of their washing up could wait. She reached for a towel and began to dry him off. “Look, the writing and stuff. I can do that..I can work wherever, whenever. The book sales keep money coming in and if I never wrote another one I wouldn’t be missing anything. But to have you now and not hold on with every part of me? No, I can’t do that. I can’t risk not having you. I can’t risk breaking either of our hearts. Ryan, this is it. This is forever for me.”

She looked up at his face. “Be scared with me. I am terrified that you will see I am not the young, hot girl you once enjoyed but fuck it, I am embracing the fear because you are worth it.”

 

[The_gladiator]

Ryan couldn’t help laughing a little at her words, partially at how silly and adorable she was. “Chloe, you are beautiful. If both of us have gained weight since graduation it has only served to soften your lush curves, make them even more inviting. You have a body that many can and do envy. You have no need to fear where it comes to my attraction to you.” He leaned down to kiss her just to prove that.

“That being said yes I am terrified. I just threw away a stable life to be with you. No, I do not regret it, and don’t you dare apologize for it. However, it is still scary. Like you said there is so many chances for good or bad things to come from all this. I do want you to know though, scared or not I want you, very much, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

He reached for her pulling her to his chest and stroked his fingers through her wet hair. “It’s difficult to believe this is all real,” he said, “truth be told.”

 

[SandS13]

Chloe kissed him, accepting the compliment. She knew he meant but she also knew it was a way to reset, lower the emotions just a little.

Threw away a stable life for her.

A pang of guilt. The feeling of a hand clenching her stomach. A warning not to fuck up. She had opened her mouth but his words halted the apology before she even made a noise. He hugged her.

Chloe reached around him and gripped his backside. “Very real.” She smiled against his chest, her tone playful. “All we can do it take this one day at a time Ryan but I am in this. It is all I ever wanted and feared I had lost. I won’t make that mistake again.”

She pulled back, hands still on his ass. “I am turning into a prune. Do you still want to go to this party or say fuck it, lock the door and make love for the rest of the night?” Not fuck, that is what they would do if they went to the party. Make love because in the end, when they were alone that is what it was. Passionate connection.

 

[The_gladiator]

“Good news is you turned off the shower so you won’t get any more wrinkled,” he teased kissing her forehead. He rubbed her back considering. “You know I always want to make love to you, but I kind of want to go see some of our old friends. I’m not saying we will play, but we used to have fun. I think I need a break from all the deep emotions.”

As he kept drying off, he flicked his eyes to her, “But you have to be honest with me, you know. Our time at parties has only ever worked because you trusted me to keep you safe, and I trusted you to tell me what you need. I want you to remember that.”

He found the borrowed bathing suit and watched Chloe. “God you’re gorgeous,” he commented as he watched her move. All the years of dance made her so graceful in his eyes, she moved with such a natural rhythm.

 

[SandS13]

Chloe laughed. “Let’s go be social then.”

It was good to hear him say what he wanted, what he needed. Chloe couldn’t help but smile up at him. “I know Ryan. I trust you. I will let you know what I need and you have to tell me if anything gets uncomfortable. It has been a while and we only just-” She licked her lips. “If you don’t want to play, that won’t bother me. Let’s go with the goal of being social, having some fun and seeing old friends. If it goes further it will be because we both want it and are okay with it.”

As he moved off to get dressed, Chloe wandered to where her bag sat on the floor. She picked it up and carried it to the bed. “You know how to make a girl feel gorgeous, that’s for certain.”

Everything in the bag was neatly packed. Organized. Some things in her life had changed. She was still emotional and at times, unpredictable but there were aspects now where she had grown more organized. Like this. In the past she would shove things at random into a bag and somehow always looked put together. Now, toiletries were in a black bag. Clothes in little cubes designated by role - pj’s, shirts, undergarments, etc.

Chloe pulled out a small cube and opened it. She pulled out a bathing suit and a wrap. The towel was dropped as Chloe stepped into the high waisted bottoms. She pulled the top over her head. The two piece suit was green and the top showed her stomach and the tops of her breasts but overall was tamer than something she would have worn in high school or college. She donned the wrap, tying it about her hips.

Next the toiletry bag appeared and she brushed her hair until it was smooth and hung in damp waves down her back.